Modern Girl's Guide to One-Night Stands (33 page)

Julia stood up and pressed herself against his side, trying to soothe the beast. “It’s okay, Simon. I’ve spoken with the doctor and there's nothing more I can do tonight. Why don’t we go downstairs and get something to eat? I don’t know about you, but I haven’t had anything since breakfast.”

Simon’s angry gaze softened and he pulled her tighter against him. “We can do anything you want, but I’m not leaving you to deal with this yourself."

She melted just hearing the words. This was the connection that had been missing in her life. The intimacy she’d tried to force with Luke by bending to his every demand. From their first meeting up to this point, Simon was different. With him there was nothing to force about it. Everything just clicked in place. Even in this low moment, Julia felt it and it made everything just a little easier to handle.

They made their way down to the lower level, but unfortunately the kitchens were closed when they reached the cafeteria. Their only options were cold sandwiches and microwaved burritos.

“This is crap. You need something better than this. I can go out to get something for us to eat. Are you okay to stay here while I’m gone? I can always call my assistant and see if she can pick up something.”

“Don’t you dare. You can’t call her at home to get us dinner. I’m exhausted. I was going to head home after I met with the doctor. There’s not much I can do here since I didn’t bring my laptop. I need to start making funeral arrangements. Fuck, my laptop is in Michigan.”

“I had Roger grab your stuff and drive it here. It should all be at my house by now.”

“Simon, I can’t believe you—” Julia got choked up on the words. God, she was like a leaky water hose. Tears stung her eyes and she bit her lip to stop from breaking down again.

“I told you. Whatever you need. Just ask.”

“I think what I really need is some sleep. I know you changed your plans and made all these arrangement to get my things, but can my stuff wait until tomorrow? I just want to go home.”

“Why don’t you come back to my place? That way you can get some sleep and pick up your stuff. Besides, I don’t want you to be alone tonight."

Julia shifted uncomfortably. They needed to talk. This was the part she didn’t know how to handle. Things between them were shifting again. This wasn’t a one-night stand, and a summer fling didn’t cancel an important business trip at the drop of a hat. She didn’t know what they were.

“Stop overthinking it,” he said as if reading her mind. “Staying the night doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to. We’ll talk about us later. Right now, let me be there for you.”

Wishing she had whiskey to give her a little Dutch courage, Julia tamped down her butterflies and made a choice.

“Okay,” she said, more to herself than him. “Let me talk to the floor nurse and let her know that I’m leaving.”

Chapter Twenty One

Modern Girl Tip #20: Check Your Emotions At The Door—This is probably one of the most important rules. A one-night stand is not the time to get attached. This doesn’t mean you get to behave like a douchebag. Checking your emotions simply means that you should be invested as little as possible. It’s just sex.

Simon woke up the next morning with his arms around Julia’s waist and his face buried in her sweet, orange-scented hair. He loved the smell of her and would have happily spent the entire morning lying in bed holding her, but they had things to do. When he shifted to get out of the bed, she looked up at him sleepily and tossed a leg over him.

“Where are you going?” she asked, her voice husky from sleep.

If she kept looking at him like that, he’d never find the strength to leave the bed. Steeling his will, he tried to slide out from under her leg. She stubbornly held on and whimpered. The sound made his balls ache and he was fast losing the fight. “Sweetheart, we need to get up and head back to the hospital,” he said in a last-ditch effort to stay on track.

“Hmmm,” she hummed, and snaked a hand under the t-shirt he’d worn to bed last night. “You don’t have to worry about that. I've got things at the hospital covered. I talked to the nurse last night. If something changed they would have called, and the doctor isn’t going to be in until ten.”

He grabbed her hand, amazed at himself for having the willpower to stop. “Then let’s take the morning to regroup before we get to the hospital. There are tons of things we need to arrange. I can call—”

She kissed him, and pulled her hand away. Using her nail to trace a line down his chest, she continued, “I can do all that later. The fact that you’re here for me will make the next few days bearable. I can handle the rest. Right now we have a few hours before I have to be back. I need you.”

Her wandering hand was joined by the other and before he knew what she intended to do, Julia was straddling him.

“Just help me feel good for a little bit before I have to face everything again.”

Simon wasn’t about to let her down, not with that kind of plea. He flipped Julia on her back and kissed her, determined to take his time and say with his body all of the words he still hadn’t been able to tell her aloud. Moving slowly, dragging out the pleasure. He didn't want to fuck or screw. He wanted to make love with the woman who was fast stealing his heart.

After they were both satisfied and breathless, Simon pulled Julia into his side, relishing the feel of her naked body pressed against him, and just lay there. This was it. This was what he wanted from her now, and for years to come. Now he just needed to convince her.

His cell rang, breaking the spell. Reluctantly, he disentangled himself and answered the phone.

“I hope you fixed things,” Megan said in lieu of a greeting. “Julia doesn’t need your kind of drama right now. I’m not above kicking your ass.”

“I think we’re good.” Simon glanced back at Julia, her gloriously nude figure rising out of the bed. As far as he was concerned, they were more than good. "Are you still flying back today?”

“I’m at the airport now. My plane leaves in a half hour. How’s she doing?”

“She’s dealing, but I have a feeling things are going to be rough the next few days. She’s going to need all the help she can get." He looked back to the bathroom. He could hear the shower running. Julia would be fine, and he was going to make sure she had everything she needed to make it through. “Call us when you land. I have a few things I need to take care of before we head back to the hospital.”

Julia was quiet on the ride to the hospital. She became more and more withdrawn the closer they got. Between her grief and her general anxiety over being at hospitals, Simon knew she was doing all she could to keep it together. He knew all that, but he still found her silence unnerving.

“Megan called this morning. She’s on her way home,” he said, hoping to draw her out of her pensive mood. “I’m sure we’ll see her sometime tonight.”

“She didn’t need to change her plans,” Julia said to the window, and seemed to withdraw further.

Well, crap.
He thought for sure Megan would cheer her up. But then he remembered how insistent she was after her knife accident that Megan not make a big deal out of her fear. Maybe she was feeling overwhelmed by all the attention. As they pulled into the hospital parking lot, Simon tried a different direction. “I made some calls while you were in the shower. My assistant, Rachelle, is calling some funeral homes. She should have a list put together by tomorrow.”

“You called your assistant for that?” she asked, frowning.

“Of course I did. She’s happy to help.” Simon picked up her hand and pressed a soft kiss onto the knuckles. “We’ll do what we can to make this easy on you.”

Simon parked the car and grabbed her laptop bag, determined to keep the pressure off. She just needed to be out of the spotlight, was all. He’d make sure that he took care of as much as she’d let him.

“Simon, what’s going on?” she asked before they reached the front of the hospital.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is, why are you doing this? I hardly know you.” She held up a hand to ward off his justifiable protests, determined to have her say. “I didn't mean there’s nothing between us, but this is too much. You changed your schedule, called in Megan, and even your assistant is helping out. You don’t have to do this. You don't need to play knight in shining armor to keep seeing me. I thought after this morning you understood. I can take care of this myself. I always have.”

Simon pulled her off the walkway, toward a small grouping of benches, and glared at her. Julia had a feeling this conversation wasn’t going to go well, but ever since they left the hospital last night, she couldn’t find her bearings. She didn't know what he was trying to prove, and with every declaration of caring she freaked out a little more.

“Fuck, Julia. Is that what you were doing this morning? Trying to let me know that you’d still sleep with me even if I wasn’t involved?"

“No. Well, yes,” she admitted, dropping to the bench. The sting of tears burned the back of her eyes and she covered her face. This was going all wrong and for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out how to explain what she was feeling. “I really like you, Simon. A lot. I want to give us a chance. But I come with baggage, truckloads of it, and I can’t change that. I don’t expect anyone to deal with all of this.” She waved in the direction of the hospital, desperate for him to understand. “Let alone a guy I’ve just started seeing. There are enough issues for us to deal with. I don’t want my mom’s death—” Julia choked on the word, and she couldn’t hold back the tears. “I don’t want her death to be the thing that breaks us. Especially when I can deal with it myself.”

He slumped down on the bench beside her and buried his hands in his hair, pulling at the ends, the low hum of frustration vibrating from him now. Julia wanted to touch him, but instead she waited, fearing that she might have pushed him away for good.

With a huge sigh, Simon turned her to look at him. “I know you can handle it yourself, sweetheart. I’m constantly amazed by your strength. But just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to. I want you to have options, that’s all. We just want to help you. That’s what you do for a friend. That’s what you do for people you love. Don't be scared, and don’t push me away. I’m here for you.”

She looked away, unable to meet those intense amber eyes for a second longer.
Love?
He couldn’t possibly mean he was in love with her. Her mind was reeling.
Love?
Julia didn't even know how she felt. Was she in love with Simon? Was that why she was pushing him away? The answer was easy. Her heart already knew, and it scared the shit out of her.

After several minutes went by, Simon broke the silence. “You’re thinking awfully hard over there. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours."

Julia looked around the courtyard, watching people hurry in and out of the hospital. This was one of her favorite spots at the hospital. She’d spent many afternoons sitting on this very bench, alone and watching as life moved around her while her mother was up in one of those rooms. But being here with Simon was different. She didn’t feel so disconnected.

“Remember when we first met and you asked me how I could tell so much about people by just looking at them? When I was a teenager, I spent most of my time at various hospital facilities, either recovering from the accident, or visiting my mom. It was suffocating inside those walls, so I spent as much time as I could in little alcoves like this watching people go by, imagining what their lives were like outside this hospital. Watching them helped me feel connected, so I didn’t feel so alone.”