Mistress of Mellyn (22 page)

” My dear Miss Leigh ” —he had acquired a habit of calling me his dear Miss Leigh”-do you not know that other people’s beaches are more exciting than one’s own?”

” Oh yes, Papa,” cried Alvean. ” Do let’s have a picnic.”

She was so eager to get well for the picnic that she ate all the food which was brought to her and talked of the expedition continually. Dr.

Pengelly was delighted with her; so were we all.

I said to Connan one day: ” But you are the real cure. You have made her so happy, because at last you let her see that you are aware of her existence.”

Then he did a surprising thing. He took my hand and lightly kissed my cheek. It was very different from that kiss which he had given me on the night of the ball. This was swift, friendly, passionless yet affectionate.

” No,” he said, ” it is you who are the real cure, my dear Miss Leigh.”

I thought he was going to say something more. But he did not do so.

Instead he left me abruptly.

I did not forget Gilly. I determined to fight for her as I had for Alvean, and I thought the best way of doing so was to speak to Connan about it. He was in that mood, I believed, to grant me what I asked. I should not have been surprised if, when Alvean was about again, he changed to his old self-forgetful of her, full of mockery for me. So I decided to strike my blow for Gilly while I had a chance of success.

I boldly went down to the punch room, when I knew he was there one morning, and asked if I might speak to him.

” But of course, Miss Leigh,” he replied. ” It is always a pleasure to speak to you.”

I came straight to the point. ” I want to do something for Gilly.”

“Yes?”

” I do not believe she is half-witted. I think that no one has made any attempt to help her. I have heard about her accident. Before that, I understand, she was quite a normal little girl. Don’t you see that it might be possible to make her normal once again?”

I saw a return of that mockery to his eyes as he said lightly:

” I believe that as with God, so with Miss Leigh, all things are possible.”

I ignored the flippancy. ” I am asking your permission to give her lessons.”

” My dear Miss Leigh, does not the pupil you came here to teach take up all your time?”

” I have a little spare time, Mr. TreMellyn. Even governesses have that. I would be ready to teach Gilly in my own time, providing of course you do not expressly forbid it.”

” If I forbade you I am sure you would find some way of doing it, so I think it would be simpler if I say: Go ahead with your plans for Gilly. I wish you all success.”

” ” Thank you,” I said; and turned to go.

” Miss Leigh,” he called. I stood waiting.

“Let us go on that picnic soon. I could carry Alvean if necessary to and from the carriage.”

” That would be excellent, Mr. TreMellyn. I’ll tell her at once. I know it will delight her.”

” And you. Miss Leigh, does it delight you?”

For a moment I thought he was coming towards me and I started back. I was suddenly afraid that he would place his hands on my shoulders and that at his touch I might betray myself.

I said coolly: ” Anything which is going to be so good for Alvean delights me, Mr. TreMellyn.”

And I hurried back to Alvean to tell her the good news.

So the weeks passed—pleasurable, wonderful weeks which I sometimes felt could never be repeated.

I had taken Gilly to the schoolroom and I had even managed to teach her a few letters. She delighted in pictures and quickly became absorbed

in them. I really believed she enjoyed our y lessons for she would present herself at the schoolroom each day at the appointed time.

She had been heard to speak a few words now and then and I knew that the whole household was watching the experiment with amusement and interest.

When Alvean was well enough to take lessons in the school room I should have to be prepared for opposition. Alvean’s aversion to Gilly was apparent. I had brought the child into the sick-room on one occasion and Alvean had immediately become sulky. I thought, when she is quite well I shall have to reconcile her to Gilly. But that was one of the problems of the future. I knew very well that when life returned to normal I could not expect these days of pleasure to continue.

There were plenty of visitors for Alvean. Celestine was there every day. She brought fruit and other presents for her. Peter came and she was always pleased to see him.

Once he said to her: ” Do you not think I am a devoted uncle to call and see you so often, Alvean?”

She had retorted: ” Oh, but you don’t come to see me only, do you.

Uncle Peter. You come mainly for Miss. “

He had replied in characteristic style: ” I come to see you both. How fortunate I am to have two such charming ladies on whom to call.”

Lady Treslyn called with expensive books and flowers for Alvean, but Alvean received her sullenly and would scarcely speak to her.

” She is an invalid still. Lady Treslyn,” I explained; and the smile which was flashed upon me almost took my breath away, so beautiful was it.

” Of course I understand,” Lady Treslyn told me. ” Poor child! Mr.

TreMellyn tells me that she has been brave and you have been wonderful. I tell him how lucky he is to have found such a treasure. They are not easy to come by,” I said. I reminded him of how my last cook walked out in the middle of a dinner party. She was another such treasure.”

I bowed my head and hated her not because she had linked me in her mind with her cook, but because she was so beautiful, and I knew that rumours persisted about her and Connan and I feared that there was truth in them.

Connan seemed different when this woman was in the house. I felt he scarcely saw me. I heard the sounds of their laughter and I wondered sadly what they said to each other. I saw them in the gardens and I told myself there was an unmistakable intimacy in the very way they walked together.

Then I realised what a fool I had been, for I had been harbouring thoughts which I would not dare express, even to myself. I tried to pretend they did not exist. But they did-and in spite of my better sense they kept intruding.

I dared not look into the future.

Celestine one day suggested that she should take Alvean over to Mount Widden for the day and look after her there.

” It would be a change,” she said.

” Connan,” she added, ” you shall come to dinner, and you can bring her back afterwards.”

He agreed to do so. I was disappointed not to be included in the invitation; which showed what a false picture I had allowed myself to make of the situation during these incredible weeks. Imagine myself—the governess—invited to dine at Mount Widden!

I laughed at my own foolishness, but there was a note of bitterness and sadness. It was like waking up to a chilly morning after weeks of sunshine so brilliant that you thought it was going to last for ever;

it was like the gathering of storm clouds in a summer sky.

Connan drove Alvean over in the carriage and I was left alone, for the first time since I arrived here without any definite duties.

I gave Gilly her lesson but I did not believe in taxing the child too much and when I had returned her to her grandmother I wondered what I was going to do.

Then an idea struck me. Why should I not go for a ride, a long ride?

Perhaps on the moors.

I immediately remembered that day when Alvean and I had ridden to her Great-Aunt Clara. I began to feel rather excited. I was remembering the mystery of Alice again, which I had forgotten during those halcyon weeks of Alvean’s convalescence. I began to wonder whether I had been

so interested i in Alice’s story because I needed some interest to prevent me from brooding on my own.

I thought to myself, Great-Aunt Clara will want to hear how Alvean is getting on. In any case she had made it dear that I should be welcomed any time I called. Of course it would be different, calling without Alvean; but then I believed that she had been more interested to talk to me than to the child.

So I made up my mind.

I went to Mrs. Polgrey and said: ” Alvean will be away all day. I propose to take a day’s holiday.”

Mrs. Polgrey had become very fond of me since I had taken such an interest in Gilly. She really did love the child, I believed. It was merely because she had assumed that Gilly’s strangeness had been the price which had to be paid for her parents’ sins that she had accepted her as non compos mentis.

” And none deserves a holiday more. Miss,” she said to me. ” Where are you going?”

” I think I’ll go on to the moors. I’ll take luncheon at an inn.”

” Do you think you should, Miss, by yourself?”

I smiled at her. ” I am very well able to take care of myself, Mrs.

Polgrey. “

” Well, there be bogs on the moor and mists and the Little People, some say.”

” Little People indeed!”

” Ah, don’ tee laugh at ‘em. Miss. They don’t like people to laugh at ‘em. There’s some as say they’ve seen ‘em. Little gnome-like men in sugar loaf hats. If they don’t like ‘ee they’ll lead ‘ee astray with their fairy lanterns, and afore you knows where you be you’m in the middle of a bog that sucks ‘ee down and won’t letee go however much you do struggle.”

I gave a shiver. ” I’ll be careful, and I wouldn’t dream of offending the Little People. If I meet any I’ll be very polite.”

” You’m mocking, Miss, I do believe.”

” I’ll be all right, Mrs. Polgrey. Don’t have any fears about me.”

I went to the stables and asked Tapperty which horse I could have today.

” There’s May Morning if you’d like her. She be free.”

I told him I was going to the moors. ” A good chance to see the country,” I added.

” Trust you, Miss. Bairi’t much you miss.” And he laughed to himself as though enjoying some private joke.

“You be going with a companion. Miss?” he asked slyly.

I said that I was going alone, but I could see that he did not believe me.

I felt rather angry with him because I guessed that his thoughts were on Peter Nansellock. I believed that my name had been coupled with his since he had been so foolish as to send Jacinth over for me.

I wondered too if my growing friendship with Connan had been noted. I was horrified at the possibility. Oddly enough I could bear to contemplate their sly remarks which I was sure were exchanged out of my hearing, about Peter and me; it would be a different matter if they talked in that way of me and Connan.

How ridiculous! I told myself as I walked May Morning out of the stables and down to the village.

There is nothing to talk about between you and Connan. But there is, I answered myself; and I fell to thinking of those two occasions when he had kissed me.

I looked across the cove at Mount Widden. Wistfully I hoped that I should meet Connan coming back. But I didn’t of course; he would stay there with Alvean and his friends. Why should I imagine that he would want to come back to be with me? I was letting this foolish habit of day dreaming get the better of my common sense.

But I continued to hope until I had left the village well behind me and I came to the first grey wall and boulders of the moor.

It was a sparkling December morning and there were great golden patches of gorse dotted over the moor.

I could smell the peaty soil, and the wind which had veered a little to the north was fresh and exhilarating.

I wanted to gallop across the moor with that wind in my face. I gave way to my desire and while I did so I imagined that Connan was riding beside me and that he called me to stop that he might tell me what a difference I had made to his life as well as Alvean’s, and that, incongruous as it seemed, he was in love with me.

In this moorland country it was possible to believe in fantastic dreams; as some told themselves that these tracts of land were inhabited by the Little People, so I told myself that it was not impossible that Connan TreMeIlyn would fall in love with me.

At midday I arrived at The House on the Moor. It was very like that other occasion; the elderly housekeeper came out to welcome me and I was taken into Great-Aunt Clara’s sitting room.

” Good day to you, Miss Leigh! And all alone today?”

So no one bad told her of Alvean’s accident. I was astonished. I should have thought Connan would have sent someone over to explain, since the old lady was obviously interested in her great-niece.

I told her about the accident and she looked very concerned. I hastily added that Alvean was getting on well and would soon be about again.

” But you must be in need of some refreshment, Miss Leigh,” she said.

” Let us have a glass of my elderberry wine; and will you stay to luncheon?”

I said it was most kind of her to invite me and if it were not causing too much inconvenience I should be delighted to do so.

We sipped our elderberry wine, and once more I was consdous of that heady feeling which I had experienced after her dandelion wine on the previous occasion. Luncheon consisted of mutton with caper sauce exceedingly well cooked and served; and afterwards we retired to the drawing room for what she called a little chat.

This was what I had been hoping for, and I was not to be disappointed.

” Tell me,” she said, ” how is dear little Alvean? Is she happier now?”

” Why … yes, I think she is very much happier. In fact I think she has been more so since her accident. Her father has been so attentive, and she is so” fond of him. “

” Ah,” said Great-Aunt Clara, ” her father.” She looked at me, and her bright blue eyes showed her excitement. I knew she was one of those women who cannot resist talking; and since she spent so much of her time with only her own household, the coming of a visitor such as myself was an irresistible temptation.

I was determined to make the temptation even more irresistible. I said tentatively: ” There is not the usual relationship between them, I fancy.”

There was a slight pause, and then she said quickly : ” No. I suppose it is inevitable.”

I did not speak. I waited breathlessly, afraid that she might change her mind. She was hovering on the edge of confidences and I felt that she could give me some vital due to the situation at Mount Mellyn, to the story of the TreMellyns which I was beginning reluctantly to admit might very well become my story.