Missing Linc (17 page)

Shit, he even welcomed it, hoping that the physical pain would distract him from the

emotional agony he suffered.

“You finally said something that I actually agree with.” Mitch”s voice was unnaturally

calm. “We obviously don”t know you at all. We had no idea that the caring, decent man we

thought we met three weeks ago was really a bitter, shitty bastard. Well, you don”t have to

worry. We can take a hint, and we have no interest in staying where we”re not wanted.”

He walked toward the door, pausing for a moment in the doorway before turning to

look at Linc. “You got what you wanted from us, and now you”re done. I get it. It”s fucked up, it hurts, but it”s okay. I”m not angry. In fact, I feel sorry for you. Eventually, Tomi and I

will get over this, and in the end, we”ll always have each other. You, on the other hand, will

still be here, choosing to be miserable and alone for the rest of your pathetic life, just because

you”re too afraid of being hurt again to man up and admit your feelings.”

Linc stood there long after Mitch was gone, frozen in place, unable to move, to think.

Shit, he could barely draw a decent breath as he listened to his front door close as Mitch and

Tomi walked out of his house and his life for good.

*

Three days. That”s how long it”d been since he”d seen Tomi and Mitch. Linc spent most

of that time sitting in his office, replaying that day when he”d destroyed the two most

important people in his life. He stared out his window, wishing he had the power to roll back

time, erase everything he”d said to Mitch and Tomi, and replace it with the truth of how

much he loved them.

He couldn”t even look at himself in the mirror. The way he”d treated them made him

physically sick to his stomach. God, what the fuck had he been smoking that made him think

it was okay to hurt them so badly? The looks on their faces would haunt him until the end of

time.

Linc rubbed a hand over his face, as if doing that would somehow erase the memory.

Jesus, he was even worse than their previous lover, Alec. He knew the pain they”d suffered

after that breakup, yet he still deliberately went out of his way to devastate them.

He”d convinced himself that he”d caused this chaos in order to save everyone

unnecessary heartache by ending the relationship before they became too attached to each

other. He could admit now that was complete bullshit. Mitch”s words cut him like a knife,

but he was right. Linc had been too afraid to share his feelings with them, too scared to hear

how they felt about him. He shook his head. What made sense at that time seemed so

ridiculous now. Well, he was officially done running from his feelings. Linc picked up his cell phone

from his desk, determined to reverse some of the damage he”d done.

He dialed the number to their hotel room from memory, listening to it ring, silently

praying that they would give him a chance to tell them how he truly felt.

“Hola?”

Linc paused when the accented voice answered the phone. “Lo siento.” He apologized,

certain he”d dialed incorrectly. “Llamé el número incorrecto.” Linc hung up and tried again.

When the same voice answered the phone, he knew something was wrong.

He hung up without responding, immediately calling the main hotel number. “I”m

trying to reach the Elliotts in suite twelve twenty-three.” The operator placed him on hold

for several long moments before returning. “I”m sorry, sir. The Elliott party has already

checked out.”

Linc sat in stunned silence. He was too late. They were already gone.

Mitch walked into the bedroom where Tomi sat at a small desk in the corner, looking

at the computer screen. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

“Hi, beautiful.” His lips grazed along her neck. She stood and stepped into his embrace,

leaning up to give him a kiss.

“How was your day?” he asked her.

“Much better, now that you”re home.” Mitch smiled at that. Tomi always knew what to

say to make him feel like he was the most important person in her world.

“I got an e-mail from Tracee today,” she said quietly.

Mitch paused. “Oh, yeah?” He kept his voice casual. “How is she doing?” One of the

good things that they”d brought home with them from Puerto Rico was a new friendship

between Tomi and Tracee. They exchanged e-mails with each other several times a week.

“She”s good. She”s trying to take a few days off to come and visit before my classes start

in a few weeks.”

She smiled, but her eyes remained slightly sad. He knew that look. He”d seen it a lot

lately. It had been a month since they had last seen Linc, and despite everything he”d said, everything he”d done, she still missed him. Hell, they both did. And that really pissed Mitch

off.

Every time he looked into Tomi”s face, every time he saw the tears that she tried to

hide from him, it made him so fucking furious that he wanted to hop on a plane to Puerto

Rico, march back to Linc”s house, and bust him right in the face. It wouldn”t solve a damn

thing. Mitch knew that, but it sure as hell would make him feel better.

It wouldn”t be so bad if they both didn”t still love the bastard so damn much, and time

definitely had not done a thing to lessen the way they felt about him. If anything, it made it

worse.

In the short time they”d known Linc, they”d developed feelings for him that were

deeper than they even realized. It wasn”t until they returned home and tried to get back to

normal that they truly understood what an impact Linc had had on them and their life. It

made their relationship with Alec seem insignificant in comparison.

Mitch held Tomi a little tighter, remembering how much she suffered when Alec left.

At that time, he”d sworn to Tomi, as well as himself, that he would never allow her to go

through that again, never watch sadness and sorrow eat away at her and nearly tear them

both apart. And he was willing to do whatever it took to keep that promise.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” His tongue traced along her ear.

She moaned. “Nothing. Why?”

“Well, it”s Friday, which means I don”t have any clients scheduled, and I thought we

could spend the entire day in bed, alone, with no distractions, doing horizontal workouts.”

He sucked on her earlobe. “How does that sound?” Mitch whispered.

“Mmm.” Tomi shivered slightly. “That sounds perfect.”

Mitch began to undress her, his hands moving over her familiar curves, exposing

smooth brown skin for his touching, tasting, and teasing pleasure. “Speaking of which,” Tomi began, “you might want to recharge your cell phone. I tried

to reach you several times today, but your calls kept going straight to voice mail.”

Mitch chuckled. Damn, she knew him so well. “I know. My battery died early this

morning.”

“Here” — she unclipped it from his belt — “I”ll plug it in for you so it can charge.” Mitch

stopped her before she could walk away.

“Don”t worry about it.” He took the phone from her and placed it on the desk, pulling

her into his arms again and unfastening the front closure of her bra to expose her breasts. “In

fact, we should turn off all the phones.” He bent and sucked a nipple between his lips before

he picked her up and carried her toward the bed. “The only voice I want to hear for the next

twenty-four hours is yours screaming my name.”

*

“Madre de Dios.” Pedro”s voice barely registered with Linc. He was only distantly

aware of his cousin speaking softly to someone else before he began moving around the

room. Finally, the smell of coffee filled his nose.

“Here.” Linc felt the cup press against his mouth. “Drink this.” His eyes felt fused

together, and he struggled to open them. Pedro”s blurry image appeared in front of him, and

Linc absently took the coffee from his hand and swallowed several huge gulps, ignoring the

burn of the strong, hot liquid as it flowed down his throat.

Sighing, Pedro sat across from him on the leather couch in his office, silently watching

him as he drank, refilling his cup once he finished. Linc had no idea how long he”d been

there. The bright sun shining through his windows confirmed that it was morning, and from

the look of his rumpled clothes and the empty bottle of rum on his desk, he”d obviously slept

there — again.

It”d become the norm for him lately. Drink until he couldn”t remember his former

lovers, couldn”t feel his pain, and then pass out in his chair. After he”d had his third cup of coffee, Linc felt the fog finally lift. Pedro seemed to

notice it as well.

“How are you feeling?” he asked quietly.

Linc snorted, rubbing his eyes as his hangover kicked into full gear. “How do I look?”

In spite of all the coffee he”d drunk, his throat was dry, his voice raw.

Pedro nodded. “I see your point.” He set the nearly empty coffeepot on a nearby table

before standing and walking over to Linc”s desk and holding out his hand. Inside were two

aspirin, which Linc gratefully accepted, washing them down with the remaining coffee in his

cup.

“How did you find out?” Linc asked as Pedro had a seat in the chair in front of his desk.

He didn”t bother to explain what he meant. He was certain that Pedro would understand.

“Lorna called and said that she hadn”t seen you in a few days. I didn”t worry about it

too much. I figured you probably needed some time because of…well…you know. Then,

Rosa called today when she found you in here.” He paused. “You ready to talk now?”

Linc didn”t respond. There was nothing for him to say that wasn”t already glaringly

apparent. He hadn”t left his house in days, he only ate when he absolutely had to, and he

couldn”t sleep unless he was unconscious. He didn”t need a mirror to know that he looked a

mess and probably smelled even worse. It was safe to say he was completely falling apart.

“Well,” Pedro began after a long silence, “since you don”t want to start, I will.” He

shook his head and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before he looked at Linc again. “I

can”t even believe I”m about to say this, but I was wrong about your relationship with Tomi

and Mitch.”

Pedro spoke the words very softly, and for a moment, Linc wasn”t sure he”d heard him

correctly.

“You heard what I said.” Pedro smiled slightly, responding to Linc as if he”d read his

mind before his expression turned serious again. “I knew you loved them, but I had no idea just how much until now. I never would have believed it if I hadn”t seen it with my own

eyes, but you are in worse shape now than you were when Paul and Ava died.”

Linc could not argue that. Everything Pedro said was true, and the pain of it all was

killing him slowly from the inside out.

He looked into Pedro”s eyes. “I fucked up,” he finally said. “Paul and Ava died before I

had the chance to tell them how I felt. Not that it would have changed anything between us,

because I didn”t love them, not like this, anyway.” Linc took a deep breath; his throat was

tight with emotion.

“This time, it was different. I had the chance to tell Mitch and Tomi how I felt, and I

chose to push them away instead…” Linc”s words trailed off, and he closed his eyes, the

throbbing in his head and his heart becoming too much to bear.

“So, what”s stopping you from doing it now?” Pedro asked quietly.

Linc laughed sadly. “Aside from the fact that they live thousands of miles away? Even if

they lived right next door, they probably hate me so much, they”d just as easily kill me as

look at me — which I really couldn”t blame them for, considering how I treated them.”

“Well,” Pedro began, “I can”t tell you what to do, but I will tell you this. I”ve known

you all your life, and I gotta be honest with you and say that I don”t recognize the person I

see in front of me. The Lincoln I know is a man that I have admired and looked up to my

entire life. He isn”t just my cousin; he”s my best friend, and the strongest person I know. I”ve

seen him at his best and his worst, and I know that it”s not in his nature to just give up and

stop trying, especially when he wants something — or someone. The Linc that I know is

better than this.” His hand gestured in Linc”s direction. “You are better than this.”

He stood, pushing in his chair and picking up the empty coffee cup and the coffeepot

on his way out the door. Just before he left the room, Pedro turned and said, “More than anything, Linc, I want

you to be happy. If being with Mitch and Tomi makes you that way, then you should do

whatever it takes to make that happen. It”s the least you deserve.”

Linc sat in silence after Pedro left, his mind going a million miles a minute. Finally, he

reached for his phone and made a call. A few minutes later, he raced upstairs to his bedroom

to shower and pack an overnight bag before he headed to the airport. He had a flight to

catch.

Linc awakened in an unfamiliar bed, and it took him a moment to remember where he

was. New York City. It felt like forever and no time at all since he”d been in this city. He

remembered rushing to the airport, trying to catch the last-minute flight he”d booked here,

arriving at the airport barely thirty minutes before his flight took off. Linc had had just

enough time to find his seat and make a quick phone call to Pedro to tell him where he was