Miss Kraft Is Daft! (7 page)

“A hundred and twenty-one!” we all shouted.

“WHAT?!” said Mr. Granite. “How did you know that?”

“Mr. Bongo taught us,” said Ryan. “He's a sock puppet.”

That's when Mr. Granite did the weirdest thing in the history of the world. He went over to the window, opened it, and jumped out!

Maybe Mr. Granite will come back to class someday. Maybe we'll find out where Mr. Klutz went. Maybe people will stop blowing their noses into garbage cans. Maybe we'll get to bungee jump in the all-purpose room. Maybe Miss Kraft will stop running into doors, juggling brains, and pulling handkerchiefs out of her nose. Maybe Mr. Bongo will become a real teacher. Maybe I'll throw my nostrils under the table. Maybe our real sub will escape from the lion's cage at the circus. Maybe we'll do another book drop. Maybe I'll get another chance to saw Andrea in half. Maybe I'll be able to talk my parents into letting me go to clown college.

But it won't be easy!

Dan Gutman has written many weird books for kids. He lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. You can visit him on his weird website at www.dangutman.com.

Jim Paillot lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn't that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at www.jimpaillot.com.

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My Weirder School #7: Miss Kraft Is Daft!
Text copyright © 2013 by Dan Gutman
Illustrations copyright © 2013 by Jim Paillot
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-0-06-204216-3 (lib. bdg.) — ISBN 978-0-06-204215-6 (pbk.)
EPub Edition © NOVEMBER 2012: 9780062042170

13 14 15 16 17 CG/BR 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

First Edition

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*
Warning: This chapter is inappropriate for children. And grown-ups.

*
That is, if he had any hair. Hey, maybe that's how he lost his hair in the first place!

*
Do you want to know the surprise ending? Well, I'm not going to tell you. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you!

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The straws, that is, not my nostrils. It would be weird to throw your nostrils under a table.

*
Ask your teacher if you can try this at
your
school!

*
You should have been there!

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Well, the
snack
wasn't waiting for me. My mom was.