Miss Klute Is a Hoot! (7 page)
Read Miss Klute Is a Hoot! Online
Authors: Dan Gutman
Well, it would have been pretty weird if anybody
else
was sitting on the floor chewing on a chew toy.
Mr. Macky told us that Miss Klute was all better. The whole class ran over to hug and pet her.
“We missed you!” said Andrea.
“Why did you run away?” Ryan asked.
“Did you have fun chasing that squirrel in the woods?” asked Alexia.
“Did you have fun eating Emily's cupcakes and throwing up all over the teachers' lounge?” I asked.
Miss Klute didn't answer any of our questions, because she's a DOG. Duh! But she did let us hug her and pet her for a long time. And then Mr. Macky let us read her a story about a dog that ran away.
Maybe after this they'll get a hot tub and some other cool stuff for the teachers' lounge. Maybe I'll go to an all-you-can-eat buffet for dinner tonight. Maybe my mom will stop using hypoallergenic shampoo. Maybe Miss Klute will lose ten pounds and get a bikini. Maybe Mr. Macky will put his cereal in a bowl instead of carrying it around in his pockets. Maybe the teachers will stop using money for toilet paper. Maybe aliens will use their laser cannons to save the fuzzy little
bunny from falling into the Grand Canyon. Maybe Miss Klute will stop stealing hot dogs from kids' lunch trays. Maybe somebody will cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster to make a cockerpoodledoo. Maybe we can talk Mr. Macky into letting us take Miss Klute outside for recess again.
But it won't be easy!
Photo credit Howard Wolf
DAN GUTMAN
has written many weird books for kids. He lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. You can visit him on his weird website at www.dangutman.com.
JIM PAILLOT
lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn't that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at www.jimpaillot.com.
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Cover art © 2014 by Jim Paillot
M
Y WEIRDER SCHOOL #11: MISS KLUTE IS A HOOT!
Text copyright © 2014 by Dan Gutman. Illustrations copyright © 2014 by Jim Paillot. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
www.harpercollinschildrens.com
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013032817
ISBN 978-0-06-219844-0 (pbk. bdg.) â ISBN 978-0-06-219845-7 (lib. bdg.)
EPub Edition April 2014 ISBN 9780062198464
14 15 16 17 18
OPM
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
FIRST EDITION
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*
We're not even allowed to read out loud
loud
. If I read out loud
too
loud, Mr. Granite holds up his hand and makes a peace sign, which means “shut up.”
*
Hey, that would make a good book title!
*
Cupcakes have the perfect name because they're cakes in cups. If you ask me, doughnuts should be nuts in dough.
*
Send your angry emails to: [email protected].
*
I knew that I was responsible, because when I'm home and something goes wrong, my mom always says, “A.J., you're responsible!”
*
Hey, that would make a good book title, too!
