Misguided Target (12 page)

“Kendall… I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you,” he offered sincerely, his lips softly kissing mine. A single tear escaped my right eye and he wiped it away with his thumb. “My tough girl has a soft side I see.”

“I have many sides,” I teased as he kissed me again. I ran my hands over his muscular torso; he was the sexiest man I'd ever seen. I found myself mesmerized by the hundreds of scars that covered it. I reached into his jeans, massaging his hard erection, causing a moan to escape his lips. “Take those off, Kane.” He quickly tugged at his jeans and boxers, releasing his heavy rod. I reached down to touch myself, finding my sex wet and ready. I moaned loudly as his hand replaced mine, sliding his fingers deeply into me.

“I think you might be ready,” he teased, still sliding his fingers in and out.

I was more than ready, “I hope you have protection.”

He was instantly off the bed retrieving the condom from his bag and quickly putting it on. He lowered himself on top of me and paused a moment.

“Are you going to make me beg?” I demanded. “I'm not the begging kind, and right now I want you to fuck me, Kane.” I gasped as he let out a primal growl, his hard cock pushing inside me. There was no gentleness in his lovemaking, and right then that was just fine with me. I moaned, firmly grabbing his muscular ass, loving how strong he felt. “Go harder, Kane, I need you to go harder,” I requested, knowing he was holding back. He obliged, thrusting his cock harder and deeper into me.

“Yes, this feels so good! Don't stop! Don't stop!”

“God, Kendall, you feel so good,” he groaned, still moving fast and hard, “Tell me when you're ready, I'll hold off until you're there.”

“Now,” I cried, feeling as though time was standing still while the spasm of pleasure convulsed through me, releasing me into a blissfully relaxed state.

I felt him drop beside me on the bed. I looked over at him, his eyes shut tight as we both struggled to catch our breath. “That was… That was…” he said trying to catch his breath.

“That was about time.”

“I know, I'm such an idiot. To think that we could have been doing that for days now,” he laughed, causing me to follow suit.

“I know, right?” I replied and he leaned into me, gently kissing my lips.

“Kane…”

“Uh huh,” he answered his eyes closed.

“How long until you're ready for round two?”

“Give me five minutes and I'm all yours,” he requested, pulling my body against his, wrapping his arms around me. Within moments I could feel his erection against me. “All right maybe less than five.”

Kane

I could just lie here with Kendall in my arms forever. This had to be one of the best sensations I'd ever felt. Don't get me wrong, the sex had been beyond amazing, but it was in this moment that I realized I never wanted to let her go. She was so special; I was ashamed it took me so long to see it. I grew angry with myself for treating her so poorly. She deserved better, and if we made it out of all this madness I would love to be with her. I'd love to have the chance to treat her right. At this point that was sort of a pipe dream, but for now I'd take what I could get.

“Kane, can I ask what happened? Like what happened causing you to go on leave?” she asked quietly, running her fingers along my forearm. “You don't have to tell me, I know it must be personal, but it has obviously deeply affected you. I mean… you don't even sleep peacefully.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. I'd actually slept better since meeting her.

“Well… it's just, you cry out in your sleep a lot,” she whispered, her gorgeous eyes staring up at me, “You seem to have nightmares.”

I sighed audibly, my body tensing in an odd combination of embarrassment and discomfort. I did owe her some sort of explanation. “I didn't realize I did that. Granted, I know I haven't really slept in weeks. I usually I get a few hours if I'm lucky, but since meeting you I've actually gotten more for some reason.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I guess I've sort of been going through a hard time. I don't like to talk about it but… the things I've been through have affected me more than I care to admit.”

“Listen, you don't owe me an explanation and I can see you're uncomfortable. You don't have to tell me, Kane.”

“No, I do. You're right when you guessed I was a Navy SEAL. The incident that caused me to go on leave happened a few months ago. I can't give you specific details, but the long and short of it is that we had to go into a village where dangerous weaponry was said to be hidden. I walked into a house and found three young children —they were child soldiers, all under the age of thirteen pointing AK47s at me. I tried to reason with them, but they wouldn't drop their weapons no matter what I did or said. One of my men came around to check on me and he must have spooked them because the next thing I knew they opened fire on us. I had no choice but to shoot back. I saved us both, but that doesn't make it any easier to live with,” I said, watching a few tears travel down her cheeks. “I killed children who were only guilty of doing what they were raised to do. Wars at their core are horrible, but killing innocent children isn't something I'm programmed to cope with. I started unraveling and my superiors forced me to go on a leave. They said I needed some time to get myself together. For some reason, which is still beyond my understanding, I sought out my brother, which I guess ultimately led me to you and this moment.”

She sat up, placing her palms on my face. “Kane, listen to me. I know this doesn't make what happened any easier, but you're a good man. Sometimes I think you forget that you are.”

“I've done horrible things,” I said honestly, knowing that a part of me had to be a monster to do the things I'd done and the things that I'll likely have to do in the future.

“I don't believe that. Doing horrible things doesn't necessarily make you a monster. There are necessary evils at times. They weigh on us because it goes against our nature, but don't fool yourself into forgetting the good in you. If you do that, they win, and truthfully it would be a shame, Kane. You still deserve good things. I've seen it in you from the moment I first spotted you, and you've tested me often but I still see it,” she insisted, placing tender kisses on my lips and forehead. I don't know how, but I felt some of the pain I carried in my chest ease a bit. It didn't go away, but that brief moment of relief was so foreign and so seductive.

“Will you go back?” she asked, nestling into my armpit and wrapping her arms around my torso.

“I think so. They want me to.”

“I bet they do, you've been doing this for a long time. You're probably on track for a higher ranked position, right?” she asked with a knowing smile. She was still trying to get information about my work.

“Yeah, you were right about that. I'm a senior chief and so far the plan is to move up to master chief if I can get my shit together.”

“If they thought you were damaged goods they would have asked you to leave or reassigned you elsewhere. They want you back, which means they want to keep you. Master Chief Clarke, huh? It has a nice ring to it. I could see you being good at that,” she said, tracing one of the long scars on my forearm with her finger before skipping to another scar on my chest.

“For a long time my work was all I had.”

“It must be lonely though, constantly going from place to place. Do you have anywhere you call home?”

“Nowhere really, I liked never having to settle anywhere for too long. I liked never having to feel a connection to any one place, but for the first time in a long time I'm sort of hoping that changes.”

“I can understand that.”

“What about you? Is this where you call home?” I asked, curious about what her plans were. I hadn't ever really wanted to know anyone's goals before now.

“Yeah, I think so. I won't go back to Minnesota, so I guess this is home now. I've never really thought about it. For the past few years my focused has been mainly on getting school done. I guess if I make it out of this, I'll let you know,” she offered with a sad smile.

“You
will
make it out of this. Things are going to work out.”

“Yeah, I know,” she said unconvincingly as she tenderly kissed my shoulder. She began tracing another one of my scars. “Someday you'll have to tell me about each one of these. I bet they're really good stories.”

I smiled, “Yeah some of them are better than others. What about you? Any scars you can tell me about?” I asked, running my hands down her gorgeous curves not seeing anything marring her perfect skin.

“No, not really, I have a few, but mine are mostly on the inside,” she offered causing my heart to stop for a moment. I knew all too well that just because you couldn't see the scar doesn't mean it didn't hurt or run deep.

“Kendall…” I said, hesitating a moment. I wanted to know how she got into her former profession, but that meant having to hear about her relationship with my brother and others and I wasn't exactly keen to. “How did you get into all this escort business? You're so beautiful and so bright. I just don't get it. I didn't get it with James either.”

She lay silently, her brow creased in deep thought as she starred up at the ceiling. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked. “It's a sob story like so many others out there. I grew up poor in a rundown house in a small town just outside Minneapolis. Truthfully though, I may have had a bed and roof over my head, but it never really seemed like home. I always felt like I was a stranger in my own life. I don't think I've ever really had a home. My father went to jail for burglary and drugs when I was really little and my mother was an uneducated alcoholic who liked to abuse and neglect me, and who let others into our home to do the same. When I was eighteen I'd finally had enough of her low-life boyfriend sneaking into my room at night when he tried to rape me. I decided to take control, and I've never seen or heard from her since. I moved to Minneapolis, worked a few jobs and got a job as a waitress in a high-end place downtown. That's when I met James,” she offered, pausing a moment, likely feeling the tension in my body at the mention of his name.

“Look, I was happy as a waitress, but your brother invited me to go to DC with him for a week, sort of like a free vacation. I was young and stupid, though not generally in the habit of taking off with grown men I didn't know, but something about him told me that I could trust him, so I did it. He introduced me to Dominique and offered me the chance to change my life. He taught me how to think and how to read people. He taught me how to influence them and how to seduce them, but most of all he taught me how to stay in control of situations. I made a name for myself, made some money and I went back to school. Got my undergraduate and master's degrees, and once I had enough money to get out, I did. At least I was trying to. The party the other night was supposed to be my last one. I figured it would be easy because James and I are friends. When I say friends, I mean it. We haven't had a sexual relationship since the first week I met him. I liked being his date. I just had to go with him, talk to few people, have a few drinks and then we would leave.”

“How did you actually have sex for money though? Didn't it bother you?”

“Yeah I guess so, but it's sort of a yes and no. I like sex. I didn't have time for a boyfriend, so sometimes with certain people, I allowed it to progress to that point. I didn't have sex with everyone. Like I said before, it's all about reading what people need. Most people who came to me thinking they needed sex were actually just looking for something else. It could be understanding, comfort or a connection of some kind. Your brother taught me how to know the difference. I know it's hard to believe, but the skills are transferable in other things, particularly in business. Those are the same skills that make him so good at what he does.”

A moment of silence ensued. “What's he like?” I asked, knowing she knew him much better than I did.

“James?” she asked, causing me to nod. “He's smart, funny, cunning, incredibly charismatic and kind. He's been more of a mentor and cheerleader for me. That's something I've never really had before and it was nice. He's a good man and, much like you, he's made some bad choices.”

I shifted uncomfortably at the comparison between him and me; James had done hurtful things to me, but at the same time I don't think I could look myself in the mirror and ignore all the things I'd done to others. Suddenly, I wasn't so sure I was in a position to be as judgmental as I had thought. “You know, he talked about you,” she offered cautiously, aware she was venturing into a sensitive area. “He never told me your name, but he mentioned having a brother that he was proud of. He said you had always been what pushed him to do better, to be better. At the party, after you got so upset, he opened up to me a little. He has tremendous guilt about the mistakes he made with you,” she stated, and I could feel myself pulling away from her, but she held me, willing me to let her finish. “I'm not saying what he did was right, but he did what he thought was necessary. He wanted to be better for you; he wanted to make you proud. It's his biggest regret, but he loves you.”

I nodded, understanding what she was trying to say. I didn't know if I could ever totally forgive him, but I was able to accept a little better why he did what he did. She placed comforting kisses on my shoulder.

“I'm sorry, Kendall. I'm sorry for being so cruel and judgmental of you. I'm not in a position to pass judgment on you, and frankly my behavior is more about me than it ever was about you,” I offered sincerely, hoping she would accept my apology. My issues with my brother were one thing, but she hadn't really done anything to me other than meet me in a bar.

“It's okay. I'm used to people judging me, but I'm not accustomed to people apologizing for it. Thank you. I'm sorry for disappointing you. For not being the person you wanted me to be, I guess.”

“Please don't apologize for that. You're amazing. Even though I don't deserve your forgiveness, I thank you for it.”

“We're all human. If a person takes responsibility for his faults and changes for the better, who am I to not grant them forgiveness? It's the ones who stop trying to be better, to do better who don't deserve forgiveness.”

“You're a far better person than I am, Kendall.”

“No I'm not. I'm just trying to do and be the best person I can. Like I said, you're a good man, Kane Clarke. I just think you've seen and felt too much bad lately and you've forgotten about the good.”

“I think I'm starting to remember it,” I said honestly, tenderly stroking my thumb on her cheekbone, causing an adorable blush to settle on her cheeks.

“All right, enough talk about us. It's time to focus on James. I think you should fill me in on what you found out about the initials, because something tells me it's going to be a crazy day.”

“Agreed,” she replied sadly, but her eyes shone with determination. We would get out of this, or at least give it our best try.