Mind-Body Workbook for PTSD (11 page)

1. How is this map the same as or different from the previous one?
   

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2. Look at the thoughts on your map one at a time. Notice how much mental pressure and body tension you feel when you think about going for the goal in each of those thoughts. The thoughts that come with little body tension and mental pressure are from your natural functioning true self. For those thoughts with excess body tension, can you recognize the hidden requirement? List them:
   

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Some thoughts on this map may look like thoughts on the previous Fixer map. On this map, mind-body bridging practices removed the excess mental and physical pressure that came with the fixer. As previously mentioned, when your awareness prevents the fixer from impairing your activities by creating excess mind clutter, body tension, and mental pressure, it’s called befriending the fixer. This is when you are functioning naturally. The more you use your mind-body bridging practices in your daily life, the more you’ll do things because you
want
to, rather than
have
to. Without the I-System’s internal pressure (when your I-System is at rest), your daily activities will give you more pleasure and peace of mind. In this state, your PTSD heals.

Befriend Your Fixer

The only time you can recognize and befriend your fixer is in the moment during its activity when your I-System is on. This is when you can stop the cycle of the depressor and fixer and calm your I-System.

When your fixer is active, these steps will help:

1. During an activity, note any body tension, mental pressure, and spinning storylines that point to the fixer. (You may not have the slightest inkling that your mental or physical functioning is impaired.)
   
2. Use bridging awareness practices and thought labeling to quiet your I-System.
   
3. Remember that the I-System’s depressor or fixer may spin new stories about why the fixer should keep going. These storylines impair your judgment and cause you to act in a way that makes you regretful afterward.
   
4. Recognize the underlying depressor and realize that the fixer’s real motive is to repair the damaged self. (You already know the fixer can’t fix the damaged self, because the fixer is part of the I-System.)
   
5. Remember, it’s not the activity you are doing that matters as much as who’s doing it, your true self or your damaged self.
   

Befriending the fixer is when your I-System is quiet, your body is calm, and your activities are being done by your true self and not the pressure-driven fixer. You witness, firsthand, that the damaged self is a false belief caused by your active I-System. You are not broken and don’t need fixing.

Day Three     Date:____________

Russ was doing well with his mind-body bridging practices, and shared with his group that he was sleeping better and had less tension and fewer PTSD symptoms. Every part of his life was changing, including his relationship with his wife. Then, with clenched hands, he angrily said, “Mind-body bridging isn’t working anymore. I should have a job by now.” His I-System had captured the thoughts
I can’t let my family down
and
I should be more of a man
, and the body tension (pressure in his chest) that came with these thoughts meant his fixer was active. The depressor and fixer work together to keep the overactive I-System going. Everything he did to find a job increased his body tension. His mouth would go dry, making it hard to talk in job interviews, and his mind would clutter with thoughts like
Yes, I can do it
or
No, I can’t.
After mapping his thoughts, Russ recognized his storyline:
If I were more of a man, getting a job would be as easy as calling friends and networking… .
He recognized his requirement as
I should have a job by now
, and his depressor as
I’m not a man
. He realized his fixer had captured a thought that was from natural functioning,
I need to find a job
, adding pressure and extra tension to his misery. By recognizing and befriending his fixer in action (the only place you can recognize and befriend your fixer), Russ was able to stop the depressor and fixer’s merry-go-round and find a job.

1. Throughout the day, notice and write how often your fixer is active. Look for depressor-fixer interplay, which creates storylines, body tension, and mental pressure.

1. What happened?
   

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2. How did you befriend your fixer?
   

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3. What about your behaviors has changed or stayed the same?
   

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2. Do a To-Do map, by jotting down all the things you need to get done over the next few days. Write for three to four minutes. Note any body tension that comes with the activities. It may help to see the sample map that follows.

1. Try to tell the difference between the fixer and natural functioning. Remember, the naturally functioning true self comes out only when your I-System rests, which means there’s no body tension.
   

   

2. Go back over your fixer items on your log, using your bridging awareness and thought labeling tools. What happens? Natural functioning is the engine of life. It’s simply all the activities of your daily life without the I-System’s adding anything or taking anything away.
   

Sample To Do Map

Day Four     Date:____________

Remember Mary and her kids, from Day Two in this chapter? She had trouble telling the difference between thoughts the fixer produced and those from natural functioning until she remembered to use her bridging awareness practices. Now she comes out of the shower with a relatively calm mind and body. When she looks at the clock, thinks
The kids will be late for school
, and feels her shoulders tighten, she knows that her usual response of yelling, “You’ll be late for school! Hurry up!” is a fixer. She listens to the traffic sounds outside the window, feels her feet as she walks across the hall, feels her shoulders drop, and calmly gathers everyone up. She befriends her fixer and returns to natural functioning.

Now that you can identify the activity of the fixer on your maps, it’s time for you to befriend your fixer. Remember, the best time to befriend your fixer is right in the middle of an activity where you notice excess body tension, storylines, mental pressure, overwhelmed feelings, and so on. To befriend the fixer, you have to have a strong bridging awareness practice. Only when you know what it’s like to have a quiet I-System can you recognize when your fixer is active, because the I-System is so disruptive that it’s difficult to tell the difference between the fixer and natural functioning. The fixer is so persistent in our lives that most of us come to see its activity as “It’s just me.” How many times have you ignored your body tension and dismissed your mind clutter with an “it’s just me” attitude? Remember, when your I-System is at rest, you can befriend your fixer by simply being aware of its activity and then bringing your awareness back to what you were doing.

1. During the day, notice the difference between activities prompted by your fixer and those that come from natural functioning.

2. Do a map titled “What Will Happen to Me If I Give Up My Fixer.” Jot whatever comes to mind when you imagine giving up your fixer (for example,
I won’t have any motivation
,
I’ll lose my job
,
I’ll never accomplish anything
,
I won’t be successful
, or
I’ll never get well
). Write for three to four minutes. Describe your body tension at the bottom of the map.

Body Tension:

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