Microsoft Word - At Last A Life Final Copy 16-03-09 (25 page)

you feel or watch yourself any more. Just try to step out of the way

and just be – your body will do the rest. You can dislike how you

feel if you like, but don’t let how you feel dominate your life.

If you suffer from panic or anxiety the answer lies in the unknown,

the place where it seems too terrible to go. Yes, you must actively

go towards your fear centre, the place that seems to hold you back

and from which you would rather shy away. I did this instead of just

tolerating how I felt. I wanted to free myself more and go on to fully

recover, to face every fear head on and see what was at the other

side. All I can say is I wish I had done this earlier. There was no

unknown, terrible place that existed. It was only what my

subconscious had made me believe. I faced all my fears willingly,

despite my apprehension, and this is what set me on to full recovery.

Somebody once asked the question “What is the difference between

putting up with and accepting my anxiety. I can’t see any difference,

surely they are the same?”

Well they are not, as I will explain through one of my own life

experiences:

When I was younger I had a step-daughter who, as a teenager,

caused a lot of problems to say the least. She infuriated me and her

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behaviour stressed me out. I really let her get to me and went on to

develop a total dislike to her. Carrying around all the hatred and

anger was doing me no good whatsoever. One day I sat down with

my partner and agreed I would try and accept that she was just a

teenager and was probably no worse than anyone else her age. I

would accept her for who she was and try to get on better with her.

Well, the difference was amazing and it felt like a big weight had

been lifted off my shoulders. I stopped getting angry about her

behaviour, stopped stressing myself out over the situation and it felt

great. I am not saying I liked her, but I had accepted her. In the first

instance, I was just putting up with her, letting her get me down,

getting angry over her and stressing myself out far more than I

needed to - that is the difference. It is the same with anxiety. You

can carry on letting it dominate your day, allowing it to get you down

and getting angry over it or you can take the other way out, accept it

and just get on with your day.

A lot of anxiety is a learnt behaviour, bad habits if you like. But, like

any habit, bad habits can be reversed and a lot more quickly than

people realise. What we need to do is distrust what our mind and

body is telling us and do it anyway. This is especially true with

avoidance, which is probably the habit we fall into most easily and

can become the hardest to break. I conquered this habit by

understanding my body, facing my fears and going through them, I

actually invited any sensations and said “Come on then, let’s see

what you have got.” This is the only way to break the cycle. I had,

had enough of hiding away and running away from sensations. I had

reached the point where I would think ‘however I feel, I feel, I no

longer care.’ I refused to be held to ransom by a feeling and decided

it was time to take back control’. When you do this, your body gets

used to being in situations and places you found difficult in the past

and your reactions subside. It begins to learn that there really is no

danger there and your nerves had merely been tricked into thinking

there was.

Having read this book, you will now know that recovery is not

something that happens overnight, although now that you have a

better understanding of the condition, symptoms may not hold the

same power. People who believe otherwise will stay on the merry go

round of recovery for years, looking and searching for that instant

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quick fix. Trust me, it does not exist. Recovery comes through

knowledge and an application of it. There is no point reading this

book and then throwing it to one side. Recovery is all about making

changes - in many cases, lifestyle changes – and believing that you

can move forward no matter how you feel. I suffered as badly as

anyone and probably more. How did I recover? Am I special? Did I

take a magic pill? No! I spent years getting worse until I was given

the correct information, took it on board and actually made some

changes. I also trusted in what I had learnt and always kept faith that

I would go on to fully recover. Many people tell me that, having read

the book, they feel better instantly. They do not say that they have

recovered, as this is very rare, but that they feel better. The reason

for this is, having read about some of their symptoms and having

them explained, they have lost their fear of them. Their symptoms

no longer seem important and this gives them a new sense of hope.

There is one thing that I feel is very important and I saved it until last

because I really wanted to get the point across. Certain people are

what I call ‘information gatherers’ (as I was) and email me on a

regular basis. What I mean by ‘information gatherers’ is people who

drown themselves in the subject of anxiety and their symptoms. One

of the main reasons I managed to move forward is because I moved

away from it. I took a step back and filled my life with other things,

which took a lot of the focus away. We can drown ourselves in

anxiety, searching for information on every symptom we suffer and

going back to the doctor to make sure he has not missed anything.

We join forums, read ten different websites a week and put searches

for our symptoms into search engines.

This is because we have little information, but it does no good long

term. It just tires the mind even more and continues to remind us of

how we feel. I was once the same. I thought, read and studied

anxiety 24/7. I no longer do this because it is not my habit any more.

I am involved in the subject and can talk freely about it but it no

longer dominates my life. If you recognise yourself in the above

description, then you need to step away from the subject and invite

other things into your life. During my recovery, I still looked for

information at times and there is nothing wrong with this. But I had

learnt most of what you have read in this book and I no longer felt

the need to run around chasing my own tail for answers. Once I took

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this step back, I gradually noticed that other things began to attract

my attention. The subject of anxiety and how I felt no longer

dominated my day as it had in the past. This makes sense to me

now and I realise my mind had nothing else to thing about. Once I

introduced other things into my day and stopped thinking and

worrying, day in, day out, I was refreshing it and giving it the break it

needed.

To finish, I want you to release those chains that are holding you

back and start living again. Do everything you would have done

before you felt this way and don’t be a prisoner of your feelings any

more. Take a step back from the subject of anxiety. Take a walk or

go for a swim, instead of ‘googling’ symptoms on the internet,

searching for that miracle answer that will make it all go away. Stop

letting how you feel dominate your day. Give up the daily battle and

let go. The main reason that people continue to suffer is because

they are always trying ‘To Do’ something about each and every

symptom and spend each day, week in, week out, trying to figure it

all out; constantly worrying, fighting and filling themselves with self-

pity. They fill their whole day with the subject and how they feel and

their mind and body never get the breaks they need. Is it any

wonder they find it so hard to break free? It was only when I did the

opposite and followed the information that I have passed on to you

that I began to see progress. Nothing was achieved by trying to think

and fight my way better, constantly worrying about my symptoms

and how I felt.

You may still feel dull and unresponsive. You may still feel anxious

and emotionless for now and that’s fine. The old you will begin to

resurface. Never put a time limit on that, just trust in it. If you work in

a high pressure workplace, then maybe take some time out. Listen

to your body and what it is telling you. People who have suffered a

nervous breakdown are mostly people who did not listen to their

body and the messages it was giving them. The two sectors I hear

from most are the medical profession and businessmen. People with

high pressure jobs, such as the medical profession, can take on

other people’s problems and ignore their own. Long hours and

stressful jobs can take their toll and these people may feel stressed

for a while before they enter the full anxiety cycle. If only they had

learnt to listen to their body and slowed down, they could have

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saved themselves so much suffering. This also applies to people

who say “I don’t know why I feel like this“. As stated before, I ask if

they have been under any stress recently and along comes a list of

such things as my daughter left home; my husband lost his job; my

dog passed away; my mother is very poorly. These people did not

notice the build up of stress as it happened gradually. The good

thing is that I am able to help such people pretty early on before they

enter the anxiety merry go round that I stayed on for all those years.

I could never suffer again because I now understand why I felt like

this in the first place and what kept me in the cycle. I now take time

out to relax and tend not to worry or let things get to me like I did

before. I know that worry and stress took me to a place I thought I

would never escape from. I now realise how important my health is

and it should come before anything else. I have my life back and I

want to share what I know with others so they can begin to have a

life too.

Every stage of how you feel has happened for a reason and how

you feel will not disappear overnight. So start to work with your

anxiety and not against it, as there really is no battle to fight. You

now have the right information and motivation to move forward. You

have the choice to try and regain your former self. You always have

choices about how you feel. Finally, and most importantly, begin to

change your attitude towards how you feel and don’t let anxiety rule

your life. It may be a pest at times, but don’t see it as some monster

trying to engulf you. Learn to let go and live alongside it for the time

being. Bring down your barriers, release that grip, allow it to be part

of your day and you may begin to feel some peace and set yourself

on your goal to recovery.

Good Luck…Paul David

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I hope this book can bring you some peace and set you on the road

to recovery. My aim is to reach out and help other sufferers,

wherever they may be, who have so far struggled to find answers to

their condition.

I believe that anxiety is one of the most misunderstood conditions

out there. I know this because for nine years I never received an

answer to why I felt like I did. Many people around the world suffer

from this condition, yet find it so difficult to get the help and support

they need. All too often, they end up suffering in silence because

they have no one to turn to.

I eventually found those answers and knew I had to let others know

what I had discovered. Hopefully, by doing this, I will have

prevented others from suffering needlessly because they cannot get

the information they crave.

As you will now have discovered through reading this book, there

are no miracle cures out there. I tried everything and this way was

the only one that worked for me. It is not a gimmick; it is all based on

the way our body works and responds. I have met and spoken to

many ex-sufferers and in nearly every single case they recovered

through these or very similar methods.

Every day feels like a gift to me now and I will continue to help and

share my way with other anxiety sufferers. Hopefully, by doing this I

will help others to have
A LIFE AT LAST.

Paul David

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