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AT LAST A LIFE

Anxiety and Panic Free

By

Paul David

This book is for all of you who are suffering from Anxiety and Panic,

something I believe every doctor should have a better understanding

of. In my opinion, too much needless suffering is caused through

ignorance of the subject and a lack of helpful information when we

first seek help. I am not condemning the medical profession but I

believe that anxiety really is a specialised subject and, as I found

out, not enough people are sufficiently qualified or equipped to help.

It is for this very reason that I have written this book and set up my

own website in the hope that I can bring far more awareness to the

subject and help those, who like me, found help and guidance so

hard to come by.

My website, www.anxietynomore.co.uk, has now grown into

something far bigger than I ever imagined and receives thousands

of unique hits a month, which just goes to show how widespread this

problem is. My heart goes out to all of you who suffer and I wish

each and every one of you success in your recovery. Hopefully,

what I have written in this book will finally bring you the answers you

so desperately seek.

I would like to thank my partner for helping me to achieve my goal of

helping others. When I left my job, she never complained, but just

told me to follow what I believed in. She has been with me every

step of the way and I thank her for that.

More than anyone, I thank my mother, who suffered with me through

those ten years. She was the only person I felt I could turn to in my

darkest days; the only person I knew would not judge me. She never

told me to pull myself together; she just listened, watched the tears

of frustration and never once gave me anything but support. She

has helped and supported me in writing my book and setting up my

website. She has supported me all my life and is the nicest person

anyone could wish to meet.

Mum you are a wonderful person and I dedicate this book to you.

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Copyright © Paul David 2006

This book is the copyright of Paul David. It is only available in

the UK through www.anxietynomore.co.uk. If you receive the

book from any other source then please let me know, so that I

can take the necessary legal action. No part of this publication

may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval

system without the prior written permission of the copyright

owner.

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FOREWORD

As you read through this book, you may find some parts

with which you can really identify and others with which

you may not. It has been written to reach out to all of you

who have suffered from all aspects and the various levels

of anxiety, so there should be something here for

everyone. Sometimes the only difference between

individuals is the length of time they have suffered. Well,

I can assure you that no matter how long you have

suffered, you can recover and this book will show you how.

I also run a blog and have lost count of the number of

people I have spoken to and helped who have recovered or

are on their way to recovering. I have included many of

these communications in this book in the hope that people

will read something in there that they can identify with and

which will give them a better understanding and hope for

the future. You will see references throughout these

writings to an earlier edition of this book which was

originally written in 2006 before being updated in 2009.

I have had wonderful feedback over the years from people

telling me how the information contained herein has

changed their life. I even receive emails from GPs and

therapists, telling me that they have recommended my

work to their patients and it is something I am very proud

of. I never wanted to write just another book on the

subject, I wanted this book to be the only point of

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reference people would ever need and it means as much to

me as the person who is reading it to know that it helps.

My main consideration when writing this book was to make

it as easy as possible to read and understand; to get my

message across and break through all the jargon that you

may have read and found hard to understand in the past.

Every page is packed with what I believe to be the best

information I gathered during and beyond my recovery.

When I finally found the answers I was looking for, I knew

that I had a chance of recovery because, for once, my

condition had been explained to me and it all made sense. I

had finally been given an explanation for why I felt like I

did, and was shown a road to recovery that not only made

sense, but also felt right. I am now fully recovered and I

know that if I had not found the information that I am now

going to pass on to you now, I would still be searching for

the answers others still crave.

I was just like you, the very people who are reading this

book, thinking “yes, you got better, but I cannot; you must

be stronger than me; you have not got the problems that I

have”. Well, I’ve lost count of the number of times I said

this to myself and my anxiety ruled my life for ten years.

It was so bad that I had to give up my job; I lost friends

and had no social life. I was constantly crying and

frustrated with the person I had become. Most days I just

did not want to get out of bed in a morning. Yes, that

person really was me and as I look back, it is still hard to

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believe that I was this person. Anxiety robbed me of

everything - my personality, my social life and my ability to

be normal. Trust me, no matter how bad you feel or how far

you have sunk into the depths of despair, you have the

power within you to recover.

You may also have been through every so-called cure out

there and thrown money at treatment after treatment

that never worked. Well that was me, I tried it all and

nothing worked. I lost heart, I thought I would never get

better, but I did. So read on and discover what I believe

is the only true way to reach recovery. All that I learnt

during my recovery and beyond is written for you in this

book and by the time you reach the last chapter, you will

have discovered what it took me years to learn.

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Contents

Chapter 2: So What Are These Feelings I Feel?

11

Chapter 8: Scary/Irrational Thoughts

48

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My Story

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Paul, I live in

England and I suffered from anxiety for ten years. I am now fully

recovered and this is my story.

My first encounter with anxiety happened when I was 22 years old. I

was young and, I suppose, naive and I started to dabble in drugs -

nothing too heavy, I was just taking them socially. I thought I was

doing myself no harm, until, as inevitably happens, they took over

my life and I reached the point were I relied on them just to get

through the day. I started to see changes in my personality that I did

not like. I would feel as though I was somewhere else. I did not want

to talk to people and felt depressed for no reason, but the thing that

scared me most was I started to panic. My whole body would shake

and my heart would beat so fast, I was scared I was dying. This was

the beginning of ten years of anxiety!

It was at this point that I did what most people do and went to see

my doctor. I will never forget that first meeting with him. I sat there

chatting at what seemed like one hundred miles an hour and my

hands were shaking. I just thought, “I don’t know what is wrong with

me but, you’re a doctor, you should know; just give me my magic pill

and I will be on my way”. Well, as I sat there, I was given no

explanation as to what was wrong with me. The doctor just seemed

to stare at me with a blank expression on his face, wondering why I

was so agitated and talking so fast. He listened and then just told

me to take it easy and come back in a few weeks. That was it – no

explanation, nothing - but I knew it would take more than a week at

home to cure me. I left the doctor’s surgery and spent all week trying

to figure out what was wrong and why this was happening to me. I

decided that if the doctor did not know, it must be something very

serious.

This was the beginning of my long journey, during which time I spent

months being shifted from one doctor to the next and one therapist

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to another. I had needles put in me, was given different medication

and once was even persuaded to part with my money to buy a

contraption to wear round my neck and so many other so called

cures, but nothing worked. From one day to the next, my mind was

racing around, trying to figure out why I felt the way I did, but I

always hit a brick wall and still could not find any answers. The only

thing I knew for sure was that I was getting worse, not better, as the

years passed. I constantly asked myself the question “When will

somebody finally be able to tell me what’s wrong with me?”

This went on for ten years - yes, ten years - during which time I lost

friends, my job and my whole personality. Most of my family did not

understand why I had changed from being a confident person into

someone who they hardly recognised. How could they know what

was wrong with me when even I didn’t know?

I am sure that some of you reading this will have experienced the

same personality disintegration as I did. Some of the most common

symptoms I suffered are listed below:

1. Feeling strange, unreal, not with it.

2. Depression.

3. Shaking hands.

4. Fast heartbeat.

5. No interest in anything.

6. Tired and weary.

7. Tight band around my head.

8. Unable to concentrate.

9. Irritable

10. Mind constantly racing

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I had many more, but these were the most common symptoms. I

could have saved myself ten years of suffering if only I had been

given the right advice from the very beginning and an explanation as

to why I felt the way I did. Now I can explain every one of these

symptoms away as ’Anxiety’ - a condition that I think all doctors

need to have a better understanding of, so that they can help to

prevent so many years of unnecessary suffering.

If you suffer from any or all of the above, don’t despair. In the next

few chapters, I will try to explain to you why you feel like you do and

reassure you that you are not going mad, but feel no different from