Merger (18 page)

“Now I am worried
,” I said. “What kind of appointments?”

“I have to see my doctor this week
. It’s really no biggie, so don’t worry about it. They have a few tests that they want to run, but it’s nothing to worry about.”

“What kind of tests?” I
pressed.

“K.K., I said it’s no big deal
. I honestly don’t know what tests they want to run and won’t know until I get there. I have been a little more tired than usual and Dr. Mason just wants to give me a thorough checkup. Please don’t worry about me. We have so much going on right now. I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ve just been so involved in Crawford and this merger, that it’s made me a little tired. That’s all. Really honey.”

“You’d tell me if something were wrong, right?” I asked.

“Of course.” He took a sip of his wine. “Now tell me about you?”

“Well, I don’t know
? I guess I’m good. I’m super excited about the merger and I think it’s a great fit for Blakely, Inc. Once the contracts are signed tomorrow, the real work begins. I’m excited about it all. They’re a good family. I think it will be a great partnership,” I said genuinely.

“Me too
,” he replied. “What about Joshua?”

“What about him?” I questioned
, knowing very well what he was asking. I had all but sold him on the relationship a day ago, that I wanted his approval on and now I was acting like I didn’t know what in the hell he was talking about.

“Oh boy,” he
sighed. “Trouble in paradise already?”

“No
. I’ve just given a lot of thought to what you said about business and relationships. Maybe it’s not prudent of me to get into something in the end that could hurt us working together. That’s all.” I said, trying to be convincing, but feeling like I was failing.

“Do you like him
, K.K.?”

“I don’t know?” I replied cowardly
, not telling him the full truth.

“Okay, why don’t you know?” He continued prying
. “You are the most self-assured, confident person I know. You have always been decisive. Even when I thought you might be choosing something I didn’t agree with, you always knew exactly why you’d made the decision and fiercely stood by your choices. Something more is going on. Yesterday when we talked you sounded so happy and excited. I was sure that maybe you’d let someone in. Maybe you’d opened up to the idea of something more than working for your old man.”

“A
), I am still confident and self-assured. B), I am still fierce in my decisions and willing to defend them. C), there may be something more. I’m not sure, but D), you’re not my old man, you’re my father and I and going to cut you the slack of an interrogation.” I tipped my glass towards him encouraging a toast, he obliged me, and we both drank the Opus One, savoring every drop.

“Fess up
. What’s up?” He wasn’t letting it go.

It was times like these that I found him frustrating and all-in-all unnerving
. I loved him and held him in high esteem, but he always pushed me out of my comfort zone. And, right now I didn’t really want to talk about it. I didn’t know what I’d say.
Well, you know Mr. Crawford’s son, Josh, the one that’s supposed to run these corporations with us…me? Yeah, that’s the one. Well, he and I have been fucking like rabbits for the last three days and oh yeah, I think I’m falling in love with him, but never even inquired as to whether he actually had a girlfriend. And oh, did I mention we didn’t use a condom?

“Nothing to really fess up
. I like him, he’s an all-around great guy. Nothing bad to report. I like him a lot, but I’m just not interested in a long distance relationship. I’ll see him when I can, but I’m not going to pine away waiting. That’s all.” I folded my hands in my lap.

“Okay
. I’m not sure I buy it.” He looked concerned and was reading right through me. “I never made you the legacy of Blakely to withhold you from the rest of your life, K.K. You need to have a husband and family of your own. Life isn’t the same without someone to love in it. Your mom was my best friend and I miss her dearly. She’d want to see you married and happy. With kids and a life of wonderful memories. Don’t give up on that dream. Promise me you’d take that chance if it came your way.”

He reached across the table and placed his hand over mine
. “This company will always have a staff of people to run it. There’s a lot of people that would be happy to climb over you to sit in my chair any day.” It was a joke, but true. People were always hungry to climb the ladder and often and the expense of anyone in their way.

“Oh, don’t I know it, but I’m good
. This is a pinnacle time for us and I just want to focus on work right now. Joshua Crawford and I will be great partners. I assure you, you’ll love him.”

We finished our steaks and wine and my father
ordered a slice of the largest chocolate cake I’d ever laid my eyes on. I contemplated calling Josh, but stared at my phone unable to pick it up. When it flashed a California area code, I knew his number instantly.

“Hey beautiful
. Are you guys done with dinner?” he asked. “My Dad and brother and I thought we’d meet you all for a nightcap if you’re up to it?”

“Hang on and let me ask my
Dad.” I covered the phone with my hand and asked my father if he was interested in yet one more glass of booze before we headed for home. He was game, so I picked a place midway between their restaurant and ours. “There’s a place called Stella’s right around the corner from my building. We can meet you there in, let’s say fifteen minutes. We have to close out our tab here and then we’ll be there. Is that okay?” I asked.

“Sound great
, see you there.”

I felt all of a sudden overwhelmed with the prospect of seeing Josh and his family
. Would it be awkward? How would he act? How would I act? Were we to act like we weren’t lovers? Were we to just play the part of business acquaintances? And after all the bullshit I just laid out to my Dad, I felt like crap. Here it starts, the kind of crap I hated most. I needed a diversion. Someone or something to create levity. It didn’t take but two seconds to phone Beth and invite her to meet us at Stella’s and since she was so close to the restaurant, my Dad offered to swing by on the way and pick her up. Thankfully, like always, she was up for it.

We picked her up and arrived at Stella
’s about five minutes after my expected arrival time. I hated being tardy for anything even the most casual of occasions, so I expected that the three Crawfords would all be planted at a bar or table now, waiting for our arrival and watching our every move as we entered the room and advanced them. I wasn’t just a little nervous, I was downright scared to walk through the door. I put on my best smile, straightened my skirt, and pulled Beth through the door, with my father following behind.

There they were
. Mr. Crawford was sitting at the bar, Josh was sitting in a stool next to him, and Jake was standing behind them. It was like looking at a spread of GQ, each of them gorgeous and all in slightly different ways. I walked directly to them. Jake reached out with open arms and folded me into the biggest hug ever.

“Hey
, beautiful. I’ve missed your smile.” His embrace helped ease my nerves.

“Hey, Jake
,” I said pulling out of his hug and reaching around to embrace Mr. Crawford, all but avoiding the electricity of the third magnet that was watching my every move. “Everyone, this is my best friend, Beth.” I turned and pulled her forward to meet everyone.

“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you
,” she said.

They all proceeded to tell her their names one after the other
. Josh was still staring at me, likely confused why I still hadn’t fully acknowledged him. I smiled at my father and felt Josh put his hand on my arm, getting my attention.

“Hey
, you,” he said, trying to get my attention. “Come here, baby.” I almost died when everyone turned and looked at us. His reference to me as ‘baby’ lingered in the air.

“Hey
,” I replied nervously.

He turned his chair around to face me and everyone fell back into conversation with one another
—Jake with Beth, a great fit I thought; my Dad and Mr. Crawford; which left Josh and me in this awkward moment.

“Did that bother you when I just called you baby?”
he asked.

“No, it just took me by surprise
. I honestly didn’t know how this would go. How we would act or what I would do in the presence of everyone. I admit it shocked me a little.”

“I’ve called you baby at least 10 times in the last three days
. It just never occurred to me to treat you any different in the presence of my family or yours. I’m sorry if it surprised you. Would you like it better if I didn’t call you that?”

“I don’t know honestly
. I’m feeling a little lost right now.” I looked down into his lap.

“Look at me and quit looking down.” He
grabbed my chin and drew my face up, waiting for my eyes to meet his. “I’ll do whatever you want, K.K., just don’t shut me out. I knew something was up tonight and you need to tell me what’s going on.”

“Listen, nothing’s going on
. I’m just a little out of my element right now. Let’s just have a drink,” I replied.

He reached to hold my hand and I evaded him buy moving over to
join Jake and Beth’s conversation. I knew I was hurting him and the rejection was palpable. It hung thick in the air and I felt like a complete shit, but I just needed to think about everything. I knew the more that he touched me, the more I wouldn’t be able to pull away. If I even wanted to pull away. If I was honest with myself, I didn’t. My father was right, I was being a coward about my future and there it sat two stools away, but the distance was growing with every second apart. I never moved back to Josh for the rest of the night.

Josh and my
Dad were having a great conversation about the companies, the merger, and the direction of our future. I saw my Dad embrace him and shake his hand, which made me feel proud for Josh. He really was an incredible business man and a great leader. I knew that my Dad would take to him and that they would easily find themselves as friends and confidants.

We continued talking as a group
, Josh and I never pairing up for any real conversation after I’d basically lied and said that everything was fine. It wasn’t, and I knew he deserved more. I needed to talk to him, I just didn’t know when. I was supposed to be staying with him, but now that didn’t seem right. Beth was supposed to be still working on my place and that left few options. My Dad’s or Beth’s, both of which didn’t seem appealing. I couldn’t just tell my Dad that I was staying with Josh and now I was virtually screwed. Should I have Benny just drop me off at the building and then take a cab somewhere? Did I actually go and stay with Josh, in the uncomfortable abyss I’d now created? I was so lost in thought I didn’t hear my Dad ask me if I was staying or if he could drop me off.

“Earth to K.K.
,” Beth said. “Your Dad has been talking to you for the last few minutes and you have been in a trance. Are you okay?” She spoke loudly to get my attention and now everyone was staring at me as if my face was purple and I’d grown wings.

“Oh
, sorry. What, Daddy?” I asked.

“Do you want to stay out or would you like Benny to take you home?” he
repeated.

Josh was looking at me as if he’d directly asked the question and I looked at Beth and shrugged
. “I’m up for staying out a little later if you are?” I asked. She nodded her head and jumped onto a barstool next to Jake, smiling like she just got asked to prom. “Thanks for dinner Dad, but I guess I’m going to hang out a little longer.”

Josh interrupted
. “I’ll see that she gets home safely Mr. Blakely. You can count on it.”

“Okay
, honey.” He kissed me on the cheek. “As for the rest of you gentleman, I will see you all at Blakely at noon for contract signing. It’s been a lovely evening.”

“If it’s all the same with you youngsters
. I think I’m going to head back to the hotel myself,” said Mr. Crawford.

“Can I give you a lift
, James?” my Dad asked.

“Sure
. That would be great.”

They walked out the door and Jake and Beth were
smiling, giggling, and having a great time getting to know each other. Josh sat with his back to me, facing the bar. I moved around to the barstool next time him and placed my hand on his arm, trying for levity.

“This stool taken?” I
asked.

He looked at me with hurt eyes
. “Nope. All yours.” Then he turned away from me and told his brother that he was going to the restroom. He walked away and within seconds, Jake was at my side.

“What the hell is going on
, K.K.?” He asked, piquing Beth’s interest in our conversation, as well.

“What do you mean?” I answered stupidly
, knowing what he was asking.

“Wow
. I’ve never heard my brother talk about anyone like he talked about you tonight. He’s hasn’t quit talking about you this whole night. He’s head over heels about you and then you glide in here like you guys barely know each other. I’m lost?” He looked genuinely concerned for his brother. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, but that guy in there,” he pointed behind him, “he’s the greatest brother, son, and business partner in the world. I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, fix it. He’s crazy about you, K.K.”