Melting The Ice (27 page)

Chapter Forty-Three

“You think you’re slick, don’t you?” Macy murmured for Ava’s ears only while they lounged lazily on the swim deck, soaking up the sun.  Cian was driving the ski boat up and down the river at a breakneck pace, letting Macy’s older nieces kneeboard.  Ava had driven the boat earlier so he could ski and when he rode double with Maddie on the giant tube that bounced over the water behind the boat.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ava said airily, prompting a snort from Macy.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Bitch.” Macy castigated. “Because you and I both know you’re far from stupid.  Tell me you didn’t invite me and the girls to keep from being alone with Cian today.”  Ava turned her head in Macy’s direction, the dark sunglasses covering her eyes before turning her face back towards the sky.

“You’re out of your mind.  Why would I not want to be alone with Cian…”

“Because you’re scared shitless he’s gonna pop the question.” Macy answered flatly.  When Ava opened her mouth to deny her accusations, Macy pushed her own glasses up to glare at Ava until she huffed out a frustrated breath. “You’re just putting off the inevitable, Ava.  He loves you and at the least, he’s gonna try and get you to move to Boston with him.” Ava stayed stubbornly silent, refusing to say anything. “Oh my God…you’re really gonna tell him no.” Macy seemed awestruck by the realization of what she perceived as Ava’s stupidity.  Ava jerked her glasses off and set up to glare at her.

“What the hell am I supposed to do, Macy, huh?” Ava’s words were fast and angry. “I don’t trust him…”

“You wouldn’t trust the damn Pope!” Macy interjected, rolling her eyes at her best friend.

“I never even thought of that…” Ava’s words drifted off for a moment, her facial expression astounded. Macy looked confused by her friend’s line of thought until she burst out with, “I don’t even know what religion he is!”  Macy shook her head and fell back against the lounge, completely disgusted with Ava’s drama queen behavior.

“You’re not religious
at
all
so drop that excuse before you even get going with it.” Macy’s words earned her another glare which left Macy completely unfazed.  “I can’t believe you’re really gonna turn that man down…”

“He is only twenty-seven, Mace, and has no children of his own.  I can’t give him children and wouldn’t want to if I could…what if he wants kids?” Macy continued to look aggravated with Ava for a long moment before she appeared to consider her words seriously.

“Have you discussed this with him?” Macy finally acknowledged her legitimate concern.

“No…”

“You kill me.” Macy muttered, rising to her feet to grab a bottle of water from the wet bar.  She set down at the umbrella covered table and looked daggers at Ava. “Don’t you think you should at least discuss this with him before you assume anything?  You know what they say about assuming…though you’re already making an ass of yourself.”

“I don’t know why I try to tell you anything…”

“Well you could use all that money you have and buy yourself a yes-man.  Might be the easiest way to continue living your life with your head up your ass.” Macy smiled a falsely sweet smile, earning her an obscene gesture from a ruefully laughing Ava.  “Seriously, Ava, talk to him about this.  He’s not a child and he’s a smart man.”

“But...”

“No buts, Ava.  You owe that to him and yourself.” Macy picked up the two ray radio from the table and hit the call button to contact Cian on the other boat.  Ava’s mouth fell open in disbelief when his voice crackled from the radio to see what was going on. “You all need to finish up.  If you’re about done, you can run me and the girls back to the marina in the ski boat so you and Ava won’t have to head back so soon.”  He agreed before Macy broke the connection, her eyes locked on Ava’s as she laid it back down.  “I won’t let you use me to keep from talking to him.  He’s not here much longer, Ava, and you need to settle things with him.  If you have any sense at all, you will not let that man just walk away.  He loves you.”

Within thirty minutes, Macy and the girls were gone, leaving them alone.  He lured her into swimming with him, though she was not a real fan of swimming anywhere besides a pool.  There was just something that grossed her out about swimming with fish nibbling on her toes at times.  Yuk!  But she played in the water with him, tussling like two kids before she got tired of being dragged under the water and fighting to keep her bathing suit on.  Needing to wash off the river water, they shared a long shower which ended as their shared showers usually ended; her up against the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist.  While she was drying her hair and putting on a few cosmetics, he set the table with the food she had packed.  He filled the glasses with wine, turned on some soft music and lit a couple of candles he had found in one of the cabinets.  He patted his pocket to make sure the ring was still there before the nerves started getting to him.  Since he heard the whir of Ava’s hairdryer running and knew he had a few minutes before she would join him, he quickly poured himself a scotch and tossed it back.  The liquor burned down his throat and began to instantly spread a warm glow from his stomach outward.  A second one followed the first and he felt himself calming.  He had never been so nervous in his life; not when his Junior’s team was playing for the championship, not the day he was taken first in the NHL draft, not when he won an Olympic gold medal and not when he was playing in game seven for the Stanley Cup.  He might have been this nervous when he was arrested in Miami but it would be a close thing.  He stood staring up at the twinkling stars while he waited for her to join him, wondering if he was making a huge mistake.  He felt like he had thought about this relationship from every possible angle and was sufficiently prepared to alleviate any and all of Ava’s concerns and it was a given she would have concerns.  The sound of her soft gasp behind him had him turning to find her taking in the scene he had set. 
She didn’t look very happy with the candlelight and wine; in fact she looked scared to death. His heart sank at the stricken expression on her face until she smiled at him.  She crossed to where he stood and slid her arms up around his neck.

“Are you trying to seduce me or what?” she asked lightly, kissing his chin when his arms pulled her tighter to him.

“Is it working?” his hands slid to rest on the top of her rear as he started moving with her to the slow bump and grind of the music.  His lips nibbled at her ear, sending a shiver through her body.

“Could be…” she responded, her voice low and husky.  She ran her hands through his soft, thick hair, pulling him down for a long kiss.  When the kiss broke, they were both breathing heavily but surprisingly, he just snuggled her into his body and continued to move easily with her.  She rubbed her body against his, thinking to distract him with sex.  He never played hard to get so when he did nothing more than squeeze the cheeks of her rear and continue to slow dance with her in the candlelight, she knew she had put him off as long as possible.  She wasn’t sure what he was going to ask of her but she was sure she couldn’t give it to him and that made her unbearably sad.  She didn’t want to hurt him but there didn’t seem to be any way to avoid it without going against what she knew in her heart was the right thing to do.  She had to let him go.  Tears began to seep from her eyes and run down her cheeks as she silently cried in his arms.  When the tears started to wet his shirt, he pulled back and looked down at her, worry evident on his handsome face.

“Ava…what’s wrong?” he asked, his hand coming up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing tears away.  She looked up into his anxious eyes, crying in earnest now.  She buried her face against his chest and sobbed, feeling like a total fool but unable to stop the flood of emotion. “Baby…” He rubbed her back gently, letting her soak the front of his t-shirt for several minutes before she got herself under control.  She pulled back from him but he had picked up a napkin to gently dry the tears from her face.  His tender concern for her almost caused another onslaught of tears.  She didn’t deserve to have this wonderful man love her like he did.  She was going to hurt him when she refused him and that made her ill.  But it made her even sicker to think about how she could hurt him if she moved in with him or married him.  He believed he loved her right now, but when he was back in the real world where he was a NHL superstar with any woman he wanted at his beck and call, that love would change to revulsion.  It would be unfair of her to do that to him or to herself.  He already had the power to hurt her badly; she could only imagine how much worse that would be if she had an actual claim on him.  Her mind just couldn’t accept that he would want her above all other women.  She took a deep breath and stepped back out of his reach, wiping ineffectually at the tears that continued to stream down her face despite her best attempts to quit.  His arms dropped to his sides, his eyes regarding her with dread. “What is it?” he asked softly.  She shook her head, her breath catching on a sob, her eyes pleading with him for understanding.

“Cian…I can’t.” she whispered.  He didn’t even pretend to misunderstand what she was saying.   He turned away from her, anguish apparent in his face as he walked out onto the open deck to stare at the lights of Charleston in the distance.  There were so many emotions swirling through him; hurt like he’d never experienced in his life overwhelmed him for an instant, almost taking him to his knees before a wave of rage wiped it out.  She chose that instant to follow him.  He wished she would just go away and leave him alone but she didn’t even love him enough to let him suffer in peace, he thought to himself with disgust.  “I would rather do anything than hurt you…”

“What the fuck ever, Ava…” He whirled to face her, his words angry and bitter while he regarded her with contempt.  Distraught, she backed away from him but he was good and pissed and had no intention of cutting her any slack. “You should rephrase that to say you’d rather do anything than take a chance on me…”

“Cian…I love you…”

He snorted at her words and thrust his fingers into his hair, his expression so hateful Ava flinched. “Don’t ever say that to me again.  You don’t know anything about love.”

“But it’s true!” She protested vehemently. “It’s because I love you…”  He took an aggressive step towards her and laid his hand gently across her lips, effectively halting her words.

“Shut the hell up.” He rasped out.  Her wide frightened eyes had him shaking his head in disgust and moving away from her but it didn’t stop the hateful words. “You’re a chickenshit and I wish I didn’t love you.  I wish I loved a woman who had the balls to face her past…”

“I have faced my past!” She protested, beginning to get angry herself.  Why couldn’t he see she was doing this for him?

“You call spending your life going from one meaningless affair to another facing your past?  You’re alone and you’re always gonna be alone.  You know why?  Because it’s safe.  You live in constant fear that someone is gonna do to you what that bastard Corbin did.  You never even gave me a chance…”

“Just shutup for a minute and listen to me.” She yelled, her own temper snapping at his harsh words.  He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at her, his body language showing his contempt. “I do love you…and you can just wipe that look off your face because it’s true whether you like it or not.” She gritted out her words at his eye rolling.  “You want to be with me right now…”

“No, actually I
don’t
want to be with you right now.” He stated caustically.  He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out the blue Tiffany ring box tied up with the white ribbon.  Her mouth fell open in shock when he carelessly tossed it to her.  She held the box in her hands, making no move to open it, her gaze filled with pain as she stared at it. “Open it!” he barked.   Tears of misery continued to roll down her face unheeded as the immensity of what she was giving away settled on her like a heavy weight pushing her into the ground.  Her fingers fumbled with the ribbon until she had it untied and pulled the top off the box.  Her breath caught on a sob when she saw the beautiful Tiffany diamond nestled in white velvet.  He really had been planning to ask her to marry him.  She looked up into his pain-filled eyes.

“I’m so sorry…” she choked out.  He turned away from her and moved to the cabinet and poured himself a scotch, throwing it back like water.  He kept his back to her for several minutes while she continued to weep.  Finally, he turned back to face her, his expression tight and controlled.