MC: Moniz: Book 9 (12 page)

I feel like my insides are ripping out of me. Geek isn’t here and I need to see someone so I go to Brenda. ‘Something is wrong. I need to see the doctor.’

She gets a concerned look on her face. “What kind of Doctor?”

‘Gynecologist. I have unreasonable pain.’

She calls Kate. While she’s doing that I check on Aubrey. She’s looking in her drawers making a mess of her clothes. I kneel beside her and she stops. “I can’t find the pink skirt. Harley and Brenna are wearing skirts to school today.” She won’t look at me, but she’s talking to me so I smile. Standing up I hold my stomach as I get the skirt and shirt to match from the closet. “Oh thank you!” She’s hopping around on her good foot and I have to laugh. She’s so damn cute.

I lay everything out for her and go into the bathroom getting her toothbrush ready. I find her a matching headband and put it by her brush. When I think she’s had enough time I go back in and switch her bed brace for the robotic. She lets me put it on her while she lays flat looking at the ceiling. I would give anything to see her eyes smiling at me. That’s not today apparently. I shake it off and think there’s always tomorrow.

She takes the stairs carefully and runs to the kitchen. She doesn’t fall too often anymore. Brenda tells me my appointment is at ten and Kate will bring me. That poor woman has more important things to do, but I need to see the doctor so I’m not saying a word. Just as I think it a sharp pain has me bending forward holding on to the table. Aubrey screams and I’m up moving toward her.

“Brenda help her!” She’s crying.

‘No baby. I’m okay,’ I sign to her. She turns away. Dammit!

Brenda picks her up. “She said, ‘no baby I’m okay.’” Aubrey isn’t listening and is telling her I’m hurt bad. “She’s going to the doctor and will get fixed up today.”

“No! She has to go to the hopstital we need daddy. He’s going to be mad.” She’s crying and won’t listen. It’s the first word I’ve heard her say wrong and wonder if it’s because she’s upset.

Geek is in Washington and can’t calm her. I’m thinking about who is here. ‘Little Ben or Jeremy,’ I sign.

She calls CJ while I’m bent over again and Aubrey screams again. I could live without the screaming. ‘I need to be away from her, maybe she’ll calm down.’ Brenda nods and I make it to the couch. Holy mother of God I could so live without the pain too. Aubrey screams, then it’s quiet. The quiet scares the shit out of me. Brenda comes into the living room just as I’m standing up.

“She just passed out. I don’t know what to do. She was screaming then just stopped.” She’s talking but tears are running down her face. Danny comes in with Jeremy and CJ.

I take Aubrey and sit. Something’s wrong and I have no idea what to do. Jeremy pulls her onto his lap and starts talking softly, but I don’t understand what he’s saying. ‘What do I do? We need to get her to the hospital.’

“I know this is scary but we need to wait for Jeremy to let us know what’s happening,” Danny says so calm.

‘He’s just a boy!’

He nods. “He is but he’s a boy that knows more than the doctors.” CJ agrees with him. This is the other realm of the universe Geek’s always talking about. I stand up then bend and sit right back down. Dammit!

Little Ben comes in with Brantley. “Get Marty out of here. Aubrey feels her pain she thinks she hurt her by looking at her.” Brantley says.

Oh my God. ‘Please help her.’ I start crying. ‘I can’t just leave her like this. Please.’

“Danny get Marty away. Let’s see if that helps,” Little Ben says.

‘No. She needs me.’

“She is feeling your pain. Jeremy is yelling in my head to get the pain away from her she’s too little. He’s never been wrong. You need to be away from her!” Brantley says pissed at me.

I look at CJ. ‘Please.’

Brenda hugs me. “I’m not leaving her Marty. I’ll stay right with her.”

Danny lifts me up and carries me out and I cry. “Kate will be here in a few minutes. Brantley is right, Jeremy isn’t wrong when it comes to the kids. This is a new one for us. None of the kids feel anyone else’s pain but Jeremy and he has a way to get rid of it. I hope this is far enough.” He says putting me on the seat of Geek’s truck.

She is right Geek is going to be pissed. I can’t just leave her like this. Ben rides up and runs into the house. Oh my God something’s wrong. ‘Please. I can’t just leave her.’

“I get that you’re scared. We all are. We need to give Jeremy time to tell us what is happening. He can’t do that if your pain is so close to her. She passed out feeling your pain. It’s too much for her to handle.” He’s so damn calm I want to slap him. My daughter is passed out in the house and I’m sitting in a truck because a little boy that doesn’t talk said so.

Kate pulls in on the side of us. ‘Please check on her. They say I’m causing her pain.’ She nods and walks into the house. I bend putting my head in my hands. The pain is less when I’m bent so I stay this way until I hear the door. “She’s awake but upset. She thinks she hurt you because she looked at you. She is pale and still in pain. It’s your pain she’s feeling. Let’s get you fixed so she isn’t in pain. CJ is calling Nunánuk and Ben is calling Eagle Feather to fly her here.”

‘Who is that? I don’t feel right just leaving her when she’s upset. I don’t know what to do.’ I can’t even see her with the tears falling. I bend over again. I wish Geek was here. Calling him now would just be shitty. He can’t help her from there and he’d be worried. It’s a long ride back to be worried.

“Nunánuk is Cloud’s grandmother, she is a shaman for their tribe, and she can help Jeremy and Little Ben. She’ll also bring you peace by being the adult guiding them. Let’s get you to the doctor,” Danny says. I don’t even look at him I just nod.

“Ben sent a picture for you. He hopes it will help and says he’ll send them when you need them.” I wipe my eyes and look at her phone. Aubrey has her head on Little Ben’s shoulder. She’s looking at Jeremy with a smile. She looks tired but she’s awake. I thank her and hand her the phone. “Hold onto it until you’re calmed down. The pain had her passing out, we need to get you to the doctor before you do.”

I nod keeping the phone. I’m back to looking at my daughter on a computer. At least she’s not alone and chained to a bed. Danny puts Kate in the truck and slides in. I’m glad I don’t have to move. I don’t put a seatbelt on and smile because I don’t think he cares if my belt is on or not. He’s a biker and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t follow all the rules. I turn my head so they don’t see my smile. I need help.

I hate fuckin’ politicians. VP has me listening to them for any mention of the MC, the Baxters and Carolina. I set a program to go through the conversations and convert them to print then find the keywords so I don’t have to listen to all of them. It would take me a month to listen to these four useless asswipes. VP comes in with Jessie. “Digs’ll be here tomorrow. You get the program set?”

“Yeah VP. It will throw alerts to the name matches. I put everything I could think of. Location, state, and everyone’s names.”

He nods. “Good job. We’ll watch overnight. You have three goin’ back with you. Baxters due in two days.”

I’m wondering why I’m going home, but with Digs here someone needs to be at Security. I’ve never shied away from doing jobs with them but they need HS for the next part. Digs can do both HS and my job now that the program is set. I leave a doc with the information on it for him and set it on the desktop. “He’ll call if he needs anything but I put it in a doc on the desktop for him. You’re just watching the running alerts. Flag it if you need to, but don’t shut it down.”

VP throws chin. He knows more about computers than anyone realizes but doesn’t advertise it. He’s the one that set me up when I was taken in by the Club. Jessie slaps my back and I’m out. I could wait until morning, but I want to get home to my girls. Half Pint will be surprised when I wake her up in the morning.

It’s a fuckin’ long ride. I set my alarm and check on my Half Pint. She’s sound asleep. I go to the office and flip everything on. Nothing is hitting me as off so I start shutting it down and stop on tracking. Pres is in the City? I pull it up and see he’s at the hospital. “Fuck.” I open it up and see Kate and Marty. What the fuck is going on?

“She had a cyst and the scar tissue was tearing as it was growing, today was the day it got bigger and caused more pain.” I spin around. “Aubrey felt her pain and passed out from it. She thinks she caused it because she looked at her.” Little Ben says looking tired.

“Fuck! No one thought to call me!” She passed out from the pain?

He wipes his hand down his face. “A million fuckin’ times Brother. With you being so far away there was nothing you could have done. We covered Aubrey. Jeremy stayed with us until about an hour ago. He said you were close. It’s a long fuckin’ ride for you to be worried and distracted. Pres left it to me based on Aubrey’s wellbeing. She was upset but fine. Once Danny took Marty out, the pain lessened for her, and she woke up. There isn’t anything different you could have done but get home. I needed that to be in one piece.”

I stand up and pace the room. It feels like my heart is in my throat. Marty’s in the hospital and Aubrey’s upset thinking she put her there. Jesus, can life get any more complicated. “Do I stay here for Aubrey or go to Marty?” I say to myself. Thank fuck Little Ben doesn’t answer. He did right, I couldn’t do anything different, and I can’t be pissed for that. I need to do what’s right for both of them but Marty’s in the hospital. I stop and think. Little Ben is here, Jeremy is close. “Is Brenda or Lilly here?”

“Yeah both. They’re in the spare room.”

“I got something for Half Pint. Can you give it to her and bring her to the hospital for me?” I get my bag and pull out the snow globe. It has cherry blossoms lining a walkway with streetlights. I flip it on so the streetlights light up and hand it to him.

He smiles. “She’ll love it. She has a thing with flowers.”

“Yeah. I need to go.”

He steps out of the doorway. “Go. I got Aubrey, Brother.”

I kiss my girl and ride to the hospital. I hate this fuckin’ place. I go in the main door and see sour puss at the desk and HS at the elevator. I walk right by the old man and hit the elevator button throwing chin to my Brother. “You know we have procedures we’re supposed to follow,” sour puss says.

The elevator opens. “So follow them.” I get on and Chet tells me what room I’m going to with a smile.

I walk by the nurse’s station and right into her room. Pres is on the chair with Kate sleeping on his lap. “Brother. I’m glad you’re here. The doctor said everything went fine and she’ll be able to go home in the next day or so.”

“Thanks Pres.” I go to the bed and kiss her head. She doesn’t move.

“She’s on pain meds. She’s been sleeping for a couple of hours. Little Ben sends her pictures every couple of hours and it’s keeping her calm, but she cries when she sees them.” His voice drops so I look at him. Fuckin’ pictures is all she had for too long. “I couldn’t think of anything else to let her see Aubrey was fine.” He gets it. Pictures are her only option while Aubrey won’t look at her. Video chat would never work. I throw him chin. He stands up with Kate in his arms never moving. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

“Thanks Pres.” I watch him walk out.

I lean over the bed and kiss her head again. She doesn’t move so I pull the chair over, hold her hand, and put my head on the bed.

Her hand in my hair wakes me up. I remember where we are and why I’m feeling this and lift my head up. “Morning.”

She smiles with tears in her eyes. Fuckin’ tears. ‘Thank you for coming. I asked them not to call you. I didn’t want you to be worried.’

“They didn’t. I was told to go home because my part of the job was done. I was in the office checking the feeds for the night when I noticed Pres at the hospital then you and Kate. Little Ben told me what was going on. How are you feeling?”

She waves her hand. ‘Much better. Aubrey is upset. She needs you.’

“Yeah, I got that. You need me here and I can’t be in two places at once no matter what realm I happen to be living in for the day.” I watch her laugh. She holds her stomach clueing me in to her pain. “Little Ben said Half Pint feels your pain. That’s a new one for us. I need to talk to Jeremy to find out if there is a way to take that away for her.”

‘Why is this happening with her? Are the other kids like her?’

I think about that. “I’m not even going to try to answer the why. We don’t understand ourselves. Every kid on the compound has something special about them. When Little Ben and Jessie were little they were amazing kids. They collected money for swears and gave it to people who needed it for car repairs, heat bills or something that would make their life a little better. When the other kids were born we noticed a pattern. They didn’t cry unless you missed feeding time. They didn’t talk much and were always good. I’ve never seen a tantrum or a kid yell at their parents and I have a whole department of kids. They are all beautiful, even the adopted kids, they have a shine to them that’s missing in everyone else. What they have, we call abilities, is a knowledge and/or focus they build on. They all can defend themselves now that they’ve learned how. They are strong and seem to know how to move despite gravity and obstacles. They also work like adults. They are destined, for lack of a better word, to work at finding ways to keep the MC and other kids safe. Some on the financial side, some in IT, and others in Security. Little Ben has all those things and an ability to lead. I swear the kid was a leader in diapers.” She’s not looking at me like I’m crazy and I’m relieved. She signs Jeremy and a question mark. “Jeremy was a foster kid living with CJ. When Cloud came into the picture he noticed Jeremy’s ability and clued the rest of us in. He can read people, has visions, can heal with a crazy energy that runs through him and is a master at martial arts. If you have a dominant character trait he learns it from your experience and uses it to help the rest of us.”

She looks away as if she’s thinking. ‘Aubrey didn’t cry, was never fussy and was always good. I never had to worry when I went to work that she’d be a problem. I thought I lucked out with the easy baby because life was so hard.’ She stops, but I see she has more. Aubrey was supposed to be here. Even the kids like Ricky have an ability and are needed by the group. I have to wonder what this feeling other people’s pain is all about. What can they gain by this? ‘Are any adults like the kids?’

“I think all of us are, but not as much as the kids. Pres has been a leader since I’ve known him. He gets the big picture and can defend himself and the Club. He doesn’t ever show that, but we know it is in him. Danny sees every fuckin’ thing with his one eye and lives a few paces ahead of everyone else. He is one of the HS elite and can do every job in the MC from Pres to the janitor at the Club. VP is military trained but has the ability to read people and run Ops from a higher place than the rest of us. It’s eerie, when he sees a threat, he goes red and he’s like a machine or computer that runs every scenario and comes up with the best end result and how to get there. Tiny is old school but he keeps the Officers covered and Brothers in line. He knows how to hurt people with little exertion on his part but maximum pain for the poor bastard that crosses him. Cloud understands the kids on a higher level. His heritage gave him a better understanding of the visions and what they do for and to the kids. I run IT. I have never had lessons on the computer. Rich and Jessie are like VP and Danny mixed together. Darren is Danny and Me. Ricky is Tiny and Little Ben. They are a mix of the older Officers. Bob, Patches, Sam, Digs all have something that the kids use. They all defend the Club. It’s fuckin’ weird saying it all together like this. I really believe there are times I’m not in the here and now but in a different realm of the universe, because this shit isn’t normal.” She laughs and puts her hand on my face. I like that feeling and hold her hand there when she goes to move it.

A nurse comes in and checks her out writing shit on her iPad. I watch everything she does and I’m relieved nothing sparks concern with her. When she leaves Marty asks about the women.

I smile. “They’re all amazing. You’ve seen for yourself how they are. I’ve never seen bitch come out of any of them. They help each other and the community. The Brothers find them and defend them with a vengeance you don’t see everywhere else. The women understand the position they hold and do everything they can to help their men and the kids. You fit right in with them.”

‘I give nothing to anyone. I’m just happy to work and see Aubrey in person every day.’

I laugh. “You have overcome a disability and see no problem with living with it. You protect your daughter despite her keeping you away. You help in HR at a level of someone that’s been there for years. Three people working there are trusted to work from home. No one is trusted with that information right from the beginning.” She looks surprised making me laugh again. They never see it just like Pres says.

Little Ben texts me he’s on his way up. “Little Ben is bringing Aubrey up.” She looks scared to death. “What’s wrong?”

‘Please don’t bring her in here. I don’t want her to make her hurt again. She passed out.’ The tears are in her eyes again. Jesus.

“She needs to see you are okay. Little Ben said she was upset. If she sees you’re okay maybe she’ll let this not looking at you shit go,” I tell her and I’m not going to back down from this. She’s scared but nods.

Little Ben opens the door and Aubrey runs. “Daddy! You are here!” She trips and I catch her but the globe flies to the side and her face falls from the smile to shock. Jeremy flips over her and catches it before it hits the floor and hands it back to her with a smile. “Thank you!” She lets me go to kiss his cheek. He bends for her making me smile. She turns back to me and I’m the tree again with my cling-on. She puts her hand on my face with a frown. Jeremy takes the globe and she smiles putting the other hand on my cheek. She looks in my eyes and I wonder what she gets for the millionth time.

“Love. She gets love from you,” Little Ben says.

“Get the fuck out of my head.” Half Pint giggles. “I love that sound baby. I’m glad you’re okay.” I kiss her head and lift her up. “Your mom had the same kind of problem you did. She was trying to wait on the surgery until you were settled better, but that didn’t work out as planned.”

She nods against my shoulder. “She was hurt bad. I shouldn’t have looked at her. I’m sorry.”

“For such a smart kid you don’t listen. Before you had the surgery did your belly hurt?”

She looks at me. “Yes.”

“Your mom’s did too. She didn’t want to have the surgery until you were all better. She should have because she hurt like you did. Because she waited it hurt her more. Now she’s all better.”

She looks at me as if she’s trying to figure something out. “The bad men hurt her too?”

“Yeah baby. Just like you.”

“She didn’t come to the hopstital because of me?”

I don’t want her to cry but I want her to know the truth. “Yeah Half Pint. She was worried about you and wanted to wait until you were all better.”

“She was crying like I saw. She was hurt.” There’s the fuckin’ tears–shit.

“She was, but she cried because you thought you hurt her. She knew it was because of the bad men, but couldn’t tell you. That hurt her heart. Her belly hurt from the bad men, but her heart hurt because you were upset and didn’t understand.” I get a flash of white and take a step back closing my eyes. Holy fuck! I feel Little Ben’s hand steady me.

When I’m able to I open my eyes. She’s got tears running down her face. “Help me.” What does she mean? I look at Little Ben but he’s lifting Jeremy. “Help me fix her heart.”

Thank Fuck! “Only you can do that baby. As soon as you give her that smile and hug her it will fix her heart.” She nods and I move, but feel a hand on my arm. I look and its Jeremy holding Aubrey’s hand.

We move together to the bed where Marty has tears on her face. God save me from fuckin’ tears. Jeremy and Little Ben laugh. “Tell me what you need baby and I’m there okay?”

She nods against my chest and I sit on the side of the bed. She lets me go and I turn her around whispering in her ear. “You are the only one that can fix this Aubrey. I’m right here to help, but it’s all you. Make her heart better baby.”

I watch her face as her eyes open looking right at Marty. She lets Jeremy’s hand go and touches Marty’s face as if testing it out. Letting me go she puts her other hand on her cheek and her forehead against Marty’s. “Mommy.” Fuck! Marty hugs her, and I can’t look away. Jeremy climbs on the bed and puts his hands on both of them. Little Ben touches his back, so I do. Holy fuck. I wipe my eyes and smile, she fuckin’ did it.

“She did,” Little Ben says. I look at him then away. Everyone has tears today. Thank God Tiny isn’t here. Fuckin’ kids I think and he laughs.

Marty squeezes my arm. ‘Tell her I love her.’

Jeremy laughs. “I already know,” Aubrey tells her and she cries.

I need to move. Fuck. I stand and Marty grabs my arm. ‘No, please talk for me.’

Jeremy laughs again. “She understands what you’re saying Marty. You don’t need anyone to talk to your girl for you. She let you in so you can tell her yourself,” Little Ben says.

I start pacing. Holy fuck I need a box of tampons. Jeremy and Little Ben think this is hilarious. I growl at them and they stop. “Marty, you okay with Half Pint for a few?” She nods and signs, ‘thank you.’ I throw her chin and walk out the door. I need a fuckin’ minute. Months. For months I’ve watched her heart break a little everyday just to be built back up with little looks and pieces of acceptance from her daughter. This throws a relief on me that wants to bring me to my knees. She did it. I pace the corridor.

Little Ben comes out with Jeremy on his shoulder and leans against the wall. I keep pacing. He calls and orders breakfast for everyone. I pace. I hear him talking to Pres about Aubrey holding Marty’s face and talking without words. I hear him laugh and sign off.

Tess comes running down the corridor. “You did it Geek!” She hugs me and my hands go up. I am not dying today. My fuckin’ girl is feeling love from her daughter today. She laughs and goes into the room with Jeremy. I look down the hall but no one is here with her but Security at the elevator.

“Aubrey is the third. Jeremy thinks she’s feeling pain, so she can heal it,” Little Ben says softly.

I look at him. “She heals too?” I lean against the wall across from him before I fall.

He smiles at me. “She’s been doing it right along. She healed you, Lilly, Brenda. She even helped when Jeremy was exhausted. I think it’s like Jeremy, she can heal everyone but herself.”

My knees buckle and I sit. Holy fuck. “Is she going to learn like he does?” My voice is a croak. Fuckin’ hell!

“She’s five and talks like a grown up. She learned that from somewhere. She’s been in a room alone since they took her.”

Fuck! Why me? Why are they with me and not a Brother that gets all this? “Geek.” I look up automatically. “You think you’re different than the other Officers, but look at it. You took what my father showed you and brought us here. You had it in you somewhere. We’re different because of those before us. You had no one to teach you how to use your skills; we had you. You of all people know and understand more about the kids than anyone else. Cloud gets the visions, healing and reading but you know the abilities they have and how they can be used best. You are right where she needs to be. You’ll get the vision and healing shit. Just keep it in perspective. You love them and it wouldn’t matter if they sprouted antennae and turned green. You’d still love them. We’ll learn what Aubrey has and how to use it from you and Jeremy. There is no one more invested in her than you. Keep it together and do the job. We’ve got your back Brother.”

I run that through my head again. He’s right it wouldn’t matter what she does or doesn’t do. I love my girls. “Fuckin’ kids. Thanks Brother. What do I need to do for her?”

He throws me chin and shrugs. “I’ve got no fuckin’ clue.”

I crack up. Danny comes down the hall smiling. “Party time in the hall?”

“No. Aubrey is in with Tess and Jeremy healing Marty,” Little Ben tells him.

He nods. “That must have been a sight. How’d you get her to look at Marty and how come she’s not in pain?”

Little Ben laughs. “He told her she was the only one that could help Marty and I don’t know about the pain. Jeremy thinks she feels it so she can heal it. He’s not confident in that, but it feels right.”

I stand up and go in the room while they talk. Tess is smiling telling Marty about the twins this morning. Everyone has a smile on their face. I kiss Marty and Aubrey’s head. Jeremy gives me a look and I lift him putting his head on my shoulder. “It’s good,” he says.