Marriage Under Suspicion (17 page)

would have to eradicate if she was to find any piece of mind.

She sat up abruptly, pushing the pillow off the bed altogether.

'I can't stay here,' she said aloud into the darkness. 'I can't bear the associations. At least,

not yet. And I can't just wait here for him to return and break the news either. It will be

easier—simpler for both of us if I've already moved out. No explanations—no excuses-—

just a clean break.

Tomorrow, she'd find herself a bed-sitter. Just somewhere to stay until she could make

some real plans.

It wasn't just her life with Ryan that was going to be dismantled. It was the business too.

Her future livelihood. She'd have to prepare a business forecast, raise a loan, and buy

Louie out. Find new premises too. Somewhere without memories.

'I'll start tomorrow,' she vowed, lying down and resolutely closing her eyes.

She woke to grey skies and rain, which seemed wholly appropriate under the

circumstances. Weather to suit her mood, she thought, pouring orange juice.

'Louie's still off,' Debbie reported plaintively as she got into the office.

'She—may not be back for a while.' Kate spoke carefully. 'We'll have to cope.'

It was another busy morning, with the telephone ringing constantly. Kate was just

completing an estimate when a call came in on her direct line.

'Yes,' she said absently, her mind on the figures in front of her.

'Kate, dear, it's Mary.' Her mother-in-law's voice sounded diffident. 'Sally and I are in

town to do some shopping. I know it's short notice, but could you manage to get away for

lunch?' She paused. 'There's something we need to discuss.'

Kate swallowed. 'Is—there?' she said woodenly.

'I think so.' Mary Lassiter hesitated. 'I've booked a table at Wallaces for one-thirty.' She

gave a little awkward laugh. 'I hope that's not too staid and traditional for you.'

'No,' Kate said quietly. 'I—I'll look forward to seeing you.'

She replaced the receiver, and looked back at the VDU screen, but the figures were

dancing meaninglessly in front of her.

She took a deep breath. Surely Ryan hadn't delegated his mother to break the news to

her? Was his feeling of guilt so immense that he couldn't bring himself to face up to her

in person? she asked herself hotly, before remembering her own intention to avoid him

by moving out of the flat.

So, she could tell Mrs Lassiter that her intervention was unnecessary. That she already

knew all there was to know, and was making her plans accordingly.

And his mother could tell Ryan.

Wallaces had always been popular with her parents-in-law, Kate recalled, as her cab

stopped outside its imposing frontage. What she still couldn't understand was why she'd

agreed to come, she thought, without pleasure. Sheltering under her umbrella, she paid

the driver, then ducked under the smart dark green awning.

It was, indeed, a conventional restaurant, serving basic English food. At lunchtime, to

supplement the normal menu, a covered trolley containing the roast joint of the day was

wheeled between the tables.

Mrs Lassiter and Sally were already in their seats.

As Kate approached, her mother-in-law got to her feet, but Sally stayed where she was.

'Kate, dear. It seems ages since we saw you.' There was a touch of constraint in Mrs

Lassiter's voice, but the kiss she bestowed on Kate's cheek held its usual warmth.

Then she stood back and regarded her a mite critically. 'You've lost weight. I hope you're

not on one of those wretched diets.'

'I think it might possibly be stress,' Kate said levelly. Hello, Sally.'

'Hi.' Sally gave her an uncertain look.

'We're drinking mineral water,' Mrs Lassiter said, as she resumed her seat. 'But if you'd

like something stronger, go ahead.'

'Do you think I need it?' Kate's smile was tight-lipped. 'Can I say, I know why you've

asked me here? What you have to tell me.'

'You do?' Mrs Lassiter looked momentarily blank, then rallied. 'Well, that's all right, then,

isn't it—and we can just have a pleasant lunch...'

'Actually, it's not all right.' Sally, suddenly flushed, leaned forward, her voice low and

angry. 'A word of congratulation might be nice—or even an enquiry about how I'm

feeling. But that's too much to hope for, of course. Ever since you married Ryan, we've

all had to tiptoe round your finer feelings—make sure we didn't upset you. Well, I don't

care any more. I think you're a self-centred bitch.'

Kate's brows snapped together incredulously. 'Now just a minute...'

'I haven't finished.' Sally took a deep, fierce breath. 'As it happens, I love my husband,

and I love my babies. I get more fulfilment from them than I ever did from my career.

Whatever you may think, I'm happy. So can we dispense with the pitying looks, and

critical remarks, please?'

Understanding hit Kate like a sledgehammer. 'My God,' she said, slowly. 'Sally—you're

having another baby.'

'I already know that,' her sister-in-law retorted. 'And so does everyone in the family,

barring you. But you mustn't be told in case you think you're being got at again, and you

start giving my poor bloody brother another hard time.'

'That was my fault,' Mrs Lassiter said remorsefully. 'I was tactless and interfering—oh,

all those things that I most despise in other mothers-in-law. I don't blame Kate for being

angry.'

Kate stared at them both. 'That day I came down to lunch. That was what it was all

about?'

Sally looked right back at her, her eyes challenging. 'We'd arranged a little celebration,

but we couldn't have it with you there, just in case you thought we were rubbing salt into

the wound. Dropping hints.'

'But I wouldn't,' Kate protested.

'Really?' The other girl's tone was sceptical. 'It didn't seem to take much to put your back

up. And I probably wouldn't be telling you about it now except that I'll be starting to

show soon.'

'Sally,' her mother said sharply. 'That's quite enough.'

Kate drew a deep breath. 'A moment ago, you called me a self-centred bitch. It seems an

apt description. I'm sorry you didn't feel you could let me in on such an important secret

before now. I—I'm really happy for you, Sally.'

Mrs Lassiter's brow was furrowed. 'Have you really only just guessed, dear? From what

you said just now—'

'Oh, that was something else,' Kate interrupted swiftly. 'And it's really not important.' She

couldn't spoil the moment by telling them that she and Ryan were splitting up. And they'd

find out soon enough anyway, she reminded herself unhappily.

She hurried into speech again. 'By the way, lunch is on me.' She gave Sally an awkward

smile. 'Can you manage some champagne, or will the baby object?'

Her sister-in-law's face was marginally softer. 'I don't suppose one glass will hurt. At

least I've stopped throwing up now. I don't know who called it morning sickness, but it

used to hit me any hour out of the twenty-four, short, sharp and very unpleasant.'

She put out a hand and touched Kate's sleeve. 'Thanks, Kate. And I'm sorry I sounded off

at you. Put it down to hormonal imbalance.' She gave her a searching look. 'Are you all

right? You suddenly look as if you've been poleaxed. Was it something I said?'

'No,' Kate forced through dry lips. 'I suddenly remembered something I'd completely

overlooked, that's all.' She looked round for the waiter. 'Are we ready to order?'

On the surface, she was the life and soul of the party, laughing, talking, and making

extravagant toasts to Sally and the baby.

While all the time a voice in her head was whispering, It can't be true. It was only a

tummy bug. That was all. It can't be anything else. It just can't. Not now. Not ever.

And, with that realisation, she wanted to put her head down on the table and sob her heart

out.

'Well, I'm delighted to tell you that you're quite correct.' Dr Hamell gave her patient a

gentle smile. 'Did you really not guess you were pregnant, Mrs Lassiter?'

Kate shook her head. 'Not until today when my sister-in-law was talking.' She stared back

at the doctor. 'But I'm on the pill.'

'Which isn't infallible.' Dr Hamell doodled on the pad in front of her. 'Especially if you've

had any kind of gastric upset in the last month or so. Have you?'

Kate nodded. 'Even so, I seem to have lost weight, not gained it.'

'Well, that also can happen in the early stages, but you'll soon make up for it. Surely you

realised that you'd missed a period?'

Kate swallowed. 'I—just didn't notice,' she mumbled. 'I've had a great deal on my mind

lately. Been under a lot of stress.'

'Well, that can stop at once,' the doctor said with mock severity. 'I'd like you to have a

word with the practice nutritionist, and also make another appointment to see me next

week when you've recovered from the shock.' She paused. 'I suppose you want to dash

home and tell your husband.'

'He isn't there.' Kate's mouth was desert-dry. 'He's away, lecturing.'

'Well, it will be a wonderful homecoming surprise for him.'

If only, thought Kate, emerging into the street, where a watery sun was trying to break

through the clouds.

As soon as lunch was finished, she'd made some random excuse and gone straight to the

medical centre where she and Ryan were registered, and asked for an emergency

appointment.

I have to know, she'd told herself as she sat in the waiting room.

Well, now she did know, and a lot of good it had done her.

At any other time, she'd have been dancing down the street. Now, her feet were like lead,

and she felt cold and sick with apprehension.

In a matter of hours, she'd lost her husband, her friend and business partner, and acquired

single parenthood. It was hardly a bargain, she thought bitterly.

But recriminations were pointless. Now, she had some hard thinking and even more

difficult decisions to make.

She would go back to the office and clear her desk, and tell Debbie she was having a

couple of days off. And then she'd find some kind of sanctuary while she tried to get her

head together.

She met Debbie on the stairs. 'Louie's back,' the younger girl threw at her as she dashed

past. 'And we're out of coffee.'

For a moment, Kate stood where she was, her hands clenching into fists at her sides as

she mustered her defenses. Then, lifting her chin, she climbed the remaining steps and

pushed open the door.

Louie was in the reception area, her face intent as she arranged a mass of long-stemmed

yellow roses in the company's one and only vase.

'Hi.' She tried to sound nonchalant. 'Aren't these beautiful? They're actually for you, but I

thought you wouldn't mind if I looked after them.'

'Help yourself,' Kate said quietly. You've taken everything else in my life, so what's a

bunch of flowers? Aloud, she went on, 'I wasn't expecting to see you.'

'Or I to be here.' Louie bit her lip. 'I'm sorry I fibbed about being ill. Mrs Ransom said

you'd called with flowers. I—I felt awful.'

'Because you'd been found out?' Kate asked levelly. 'Or did you expect your plan to

remain a big secret?'

Louie winced. 'I don't know what I expected. I didn't even start to think until I got to

Heathrow, and that was when I realised I couldn't go through with it.' She threw her head

back. 'That Ryan was right, after all. That it was over, and I should let it rest.' Her brows

snapped together. 'Kate—are you all right? You look terrible.'

'How am I supposed to look—hearing you talk about him like that?' Kate demanded

harshly. 'You think because it's in the past it doesn't matter any more? If so, you're as

wrong as can be.'

Louie stared at her, aghast. 'But you encouraged me. You said you'd be on my side,

whatever. I didn't know Joe's marriage was that important to you.'

'Joe?' It was Kate's turn to stare. 'You mean Joe Hartley? What's he got to do with it?'

'Joe and I were seeing each other for nearly a year,' Louie said tightly. 'Eventually he

decided to take the transfer to New York, and see if he could put his marriage back

together. Try for a baby. The whole works. Two days ago, I decided to follow. To try and

get him back.' Her hands were clasped tautly together. 'I—I thought you knew. That Ryan

must have told you.'

Kate shook here head numbly. 'No, he never said a word.'

'He's been—very forbearing.' Louie's lips twisted wryly. 'Especially as I knew he

disapproved like hell.' She paused. 'We met at your flat—at that New Year drinks party,

remember—when his wife had a cold and didn't come.'

'Yes,' Kate said shakily. 'I remember.' She could even recall Louie and Joe talking

together in a corner, their heads close together. Recall her pleasure in seeing them enjoy