Marks on My Skin (Love & Ink #1) (26 page)

Just the memory of my previous hopes formed a lump in my throat. No, I wasn’t going to do this. I wasn’t going to cry over Kieran. He’d made his choice. The need to be there for his child and wife outweighed any feelings he might have had for me…and could I really blame him for that? No, and crying would be giving voice to that stupid, selfish hope. Even if Kendall was a stupid bitch.

“What are ya doin’, Shayne?” Liam’s voice pulled my gaze away from the lightbox where a half-drawn stencil lay. I looked up at him and forced a friendly smile, hoping he didn’t catch the mist in my gaze. I didn’t need any more shit from Liam about this either, though surprisingly he’d been uncharacteristically quiet about the whole ordeal.

“I was just working on something for an appointment later this week.”

“Oh,” he flashed me an awkward, half-hearted smile and took a tentative step toward me. “Look, I was just thinkin’. It’s been a while since we went out fer a drink and just hung out. Ya want ta go ta Finley’s with me?” Liam asked with a hopeful look, and as an afterthought added, “I already invited Niall. He’ll meet us there.”

I relaxed some and smiled a bit more genuinely this time. “Sure that would be nice. I’m ready to go when you are.”

Liam’s lips relaxed into a similar smile and he nodded for me to follow him out. “We can take my car, if that’s okay with you. I can always drive ya back ta yers later.”

I paused for a moment, feeling a little uncertain. Neither of us had said a thing about what had happened between us—the horribly awkward kiss and the blowout in the middle of the shop. And admittedly both of us had been avoiding each other quite a bit since, given the situation with Kieran. Now though, there was no Kieran, and I missed my friend. Maybe we could get back to that at least. I nodded to him, slid into the passenger’s side of his car, and ten minutes later we were parked in front of the pub. Niall was already waiting for us out front and his grin widened when he saw me.

“Liam didn’t say ya were joinin’ us. First rounds on me.” He winked at me with a mischievous look in his eyes. I laughed but felt a small pang at the sight of him. Of the three brothers, he and Kieran held a closer resemblance to each other, even in some of their mannerisms. I’d never known that until I’d met Kieran, but now their similarities were painfully obvious.

No. Not going to think about him
, I told myself. Niall noticed my stiffened posture and his pale blue eyes—so much like Kieran’s—searched mine.

“Ya doin’ alright, Shayne?”

“Never better.”

Niall’s lips thinned into a frown, but he didn’t push it. He knew better. Instead he grabbed three drinks from the bartender. “Here.” He pushed a pint into my hands, his eyes still searching mine.

“Thanks.” I took a sip and looked away from him. He knew what I refused even to admit to myself. But I wouldn’t do that now. Not in front of him and Liam. “Both of us knew what this was. We were just messing around, and now it’s over. I’m fine.”

“Niall, leave her alone. We’re hanging out. Having fun. Remember?” Liam pushed in front of his brother, grabbing his drink off the bar and flashed me a smile. I smiled back, happy to see the hints of old Liam returning.

“Fine. A game of pool? Darts?” Niall shrugged, giving up any further questions for the moment.

“Darts, since there’s the three of us.” Liam took my arm and pulled me to the other side of the room, grabbing the darts from the board.

Gently, I pulled my arm away. “I’ll just watch you two for a bit. I haven’t had nearly enough to drink yet.”

A line formed on Liam’s brow but he gave me a nod and I settled onto a nearby stool to watch them. Niall strode over, eyeing me then the dartboard.

“So, loser buys the next round then?”

Liam nodded with a grin that said it probably wouldn’t be him buying the next round and I shook my head at them. I watched them start in on their game but my mind quickly wandered elsewhere. Right back to Kieran. I’d had no problems separating feelings and sex before. What changed? Why him? Why did I care? Why did the thought of him with
her
make my heart twist into a painful knot? I shook my head, decisively grabbed my pint, draing the glass, and let it clank onto the table.

“Jayhsus, Shayne.” Niall blinked at me as the dart left his hand and stuck into the wall several inches from the target. Liam followed his gaze, looking down at my empty glass, then me.

“I’m fine.” I shrugged, forcing my lips into another smile and slipping off of the barstool. “I’m going to get another drink. They both studied me with concern, then turned their attention back to the dartboard. By the time I wandered back another drink later, Liam was beaming a triumphant smirk at his younger brother and nodding toward the bar.

“Go on, then. Fer all three of us.” He wiggled a playful eyebrow at me. “Feel like playin’ now?”

“I’m not very good. You know that.”

He took another swig of beer and grinned into his pint. “Oh, ya’ve just not done it in a while. C’mere.” He waved me over to him. Conceding, I put my drink on a nearby table and walked over to him. Liam gave me a warm smile, whether it was from a couple beers or from us hanging out again I wasn’t sure. Still, it lifted my mood, if only a little.

“Alright, stand here.” Liam grabbed my hips, turning me so that I was facing the dartboard. He plucked three darts from the board and placed one in my hand. I held it up and he shook his head. “No, yer grippin’ it too hard. Hold it like this.” He adjusted my grip on the dart so I held it nice and loose then came around behind me, placing a gentle hand on my elbow, and another on my hip.

I looked over my shoulder, raising an eyebrow at him. “Okay, now what?”

“Well, first ya keep yer eye on the target.” He teased. “Concentrate on a spot and aim fer it. Keep as little of yer hand touchin’ the dart so ya get a clean release and only move yer arm. Not yer shoulder, or yer hips.”

I nodded, took a few breaths, and let the dart fly. It stuck itself in the wall a foot away and Liam let out an amused grunt behind me.

I gave him a light jab with my elbow that only made him giggle.

“Don’t laugh at me! I told you I’m bad.”

“Oh come on. Just try again.” He snorted and attempted to wipe the amused look from his face. I spun back around, not letting him see my own amusement, and picked up another dart. That one barely hit the board.

“See? Much better. One more.” He nudged me. I smiled to myself and grabbed the other dart. For the first time in a week I wasn’t thinking about Kieran and enjoying the company of my best friend once more. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, then threw the last dart. It landed right on the bull’s eye. I spun around, eyes wide in amazement, and let out a squeal.

“See, yer not so bad. Just needed a little help. Try a few more throws?” He plucked the darts from the board and brought them back to me. “I’ll even stand over here. So ya better not miss the board again.” Liam leaned against the wall with a coy grin.

“Fine, but if you end up with a dart in your arm, don’t blame me. And where the hell did Niall go? I thought he was bringing more drinks.

Liam glanced past me and shook his head. “Talkin’ ta some chick. Figures. Throw yer darts and I’ll grab us some beers since that arsehole is slackin’.”

“Deal.” I lifted one of the darts up and concentrated on the target, aware of the way Liam was watching me. One after the other, each dart stuck into the target. Not in the bull’s eye, but not too far off either. Feeling rather pleased with myself I strode toward the dartboard to pluck them back out and Liam came up behind me, putting an arm around my shoulder.

“See yer not so bad at it.”

“Yeah, well you’re a pretty good teacher. I guess.”

Liam let out a grunt and I leaned my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and relaxing against him. I was glad to have my friend back. Things felt almost normal.

“Shayne.” Liam’s voice lowered and his fingers brushed my cheek. Alarms went off in my head and I opened my eyes to see that yearning look in his eyes again.

“Liam,” I put a hand on his chest to stop him, but he backed me against the wall and kissed me. For a moment, I didn’t want to fight it. Liam cared about me, Liam wanted to be with me. Things would be easier, being with someone like him. I kissed him back, wanting to feel something, hoping to feel that spark. But there was nothing. Slowly, I pulled away.

“Liam, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t. Please don’t.” His lips pressed against mine once more but it was no use. I pulled out of his grasp, unable to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, knowing it didn’t soften the blow at all. Liam’s posture stiffened and his jaw jutted out, angry and hurt.

“Why not? I actually care about you.”

His words slammed me in the gut. Or rather the words he didn’t say did. He actually cared about me…and Kieran didn’t.

“I need to go.”

“Shayne, I didn’t mean it like that.” He grabbed my arm but I wrenched free and started for the door.

“Shayne, where ya goin’?” Niall tried to stop me as I passed the bar but I didn’t answer him either. I didn’t look back as I barreled out of the pub. Tears burned my eyes and I wiped at my face, not paying attention to where I was going. I just wanted to get away from that pub. Away from anyone with the last name Donovan. He was right. Kieran didn’t care about me. But I cared about him.

“Such an idiot. God, I’m such an idiot!” More tears blurred my vision. I tried to blink them away and crashed into someone, knocking them down. I wiped my face to see a man pulling himself off the ground. No, not just a man. My client, Ian.

“Shayne, fancy bumping into you?” He joked, but the amusement quickly drained from his face as he took in my distraught appearance. “You alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” I nodded, even as a few more tears escaped.

Ian frowned and nodded toward Finley’s. “Want to grab a drink? Talk about it?”

“No. That’s the last place I want to be right now.”

“Well, where do you want to go? I can take you.”

“It’s okay. I’ll just get a cab.” I shook my head and backed toward the curb, but he grabbed my wrist.

“Please? I’m going to worry about you all night if you don’t let me at least see that you get somewhere safe.”

Against my own good sense, I met his worried gaze. “Okay.” I mumbled. A sweet smile crossed his lips and he slid his hand over mine, gently leading me around the corner to a small black hatchback. He opened the passenger side door for me then climbed in the driver’s seat.

“Where to?” One hazel eye peered at me from the other side of the car.

“Just back to the Knotted Needle. I left my Thunderbird there.”

He nodded and started the car without any further questions. We drove in comfortable silence back to the shop. With as much as Ian always flirted with me, I expected more, at least a couple questions, but maybe he really did just wanted to make sure I got home safe. He pulled into the alley and parked the car next to mine, then turned to me. My grip on the door handle tightened but he didn’t move closer.

“Look, whatever’s going on, you don’t have to talk to me about it. But you could if you wanted to. I don’t have any appointments earlier in the day tomorrow…you know, if you wanted to come in for that back piece you always talk about letting me do. Maybe a little you time would help.”

I studied him and my hand relaxed some. “Maybe I will. I think I need a break from this place. Even just for a day.” I sighed and looked up at the building. Mine and Liam’s shop. We’d bought this place together. No, I didn’t want to see it tomorrow. Or Liam. He probably didn’t want to see me either after what happened tonight.

“Come by my shop around noon?” Ian gave me a hopeful look. I nodded.

“See you tomorrow, Ian. Thanks for driving me.”

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

Fresh Wounds, Fresh Ink

I left a message for Liam on the shop’s answering machine before he would be there. No way was I going to try talking to him. I didn’t want to deal with any of that right now. A day off was just what I needed. Snatching a half-smoked joint off the glass ashtray by my bed, I lit it and took a long, slow inhale. I sauntered over to my stereo and put on a Gorillaz album just loud enough that my neighbors wouldn’t feel the need to come over and complain again.
Fuck them. Assholes.
My neighbors, Kieran, Liam—all of them as far as I was concerned.

It was only ten in the morning so I had plenty of time before going to Ian’s shop. It was about damn time I did something just for me and I’d been wanting a tattoo from him for a while. Flirations aside, he
was
a good artist, and if Liam wanted him to come over to our shop, spending some time with the guy didn’t seem like such a bad idea. More than pleased with my plans for the day, I started a warm bath and pulled off the oversized t-shirt I’d slept in. The phone rang as I slipped into the bath but I ignored it, settling myself into the soothing warmth of water and bubbles.

“Shayne, it’s Liam. Please pick up. We need ta talk. I’m sorry about last night. I—”

My answering machine cut off with a well-aimed boot that sent it toppling off its stand. I grinned to myself and laid back against the tub.
Nope. Me time. Kindly fuck off, Liam.
I finished the joint and discarded it in the trash bin then dunked my head underwater, letting my body completely relax. Once the water started to cool I pulled myself out of the bath and toweled off. Staring at myself in the mirror, I touched a finger to the cut on my cheek. It was nearly healed, just a pink line, but the memory of it was still raw. If I ever got my hands on Kendall again, she’d be sorry she did that, pregnant or not.

By the time I finished getting dressed and dried my hair it was closing in on a quarter ‘til noon. I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs to my car. When I got to Trinity, Ian was lounging on one of the couches watching cartoons. His face lit up when he saw me and he pulled himself up.

“You came! Come on, I already drew up the design for you.” He grabbed my hand and led me toward a room in the back of the shop.