Man From the USSR & Other Plays (11 page)

 

OSHIVENSKI

My little tavern—remember? Eh? Nice little tavern, wasn't it, eh? The passing legs, eh? Look at us now. Nothing but a fourth-class ticket to join our ancestors.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

You're so pale! Honey, what's the matter? You look like a ghost.

 

MARIANNA

Oh, please don't look at me like that. Please don't.

 

OSHIVENSKI
(getting up)
Well, Zhenya, wish me luck. I'm off to confabulate with the landlady. Perhaps she'll take pity on us.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Go ahead, go ahead. Marianna and I will stay here and have a cup of tea. Oh, I forgot—all the china is packed. Forgive me.
(Oshivenski has left.)

 

MARIANNA

Yevghenia Vasilyevna, I've had a catastrophe.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

I can see, I can see, dear—you're so listless, so quiet, that I hardly recognize you.

 

MARIANNA

A terrible catastrophe. I just saw the first screening.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

What screening was that, dear?

 

MARIANNA

Oh, you know—I had a part in a film. And yesterday the picture was screened for the first time.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Then what was the catastrophe? A fire, or what?

 

MARIANNA

Yes, a fire. Everything I had has been destroyed—my dreams, my faith in myself, my life. I'm totally ruined.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Oh, yes, by the way—there was a favor I wanted to ask you, darling. But we can talk about it later. Tell me what happened.

 

MARIANNA

I saw myself on the screen. It was monstrous. I had waited with such anticipation for the moment when I would see myself, and finally that moment came. An absolute horror. In one place, for instance, I'm lying flat on the couch and then I get up. When we were shooting, I thought I was so graceful, so vivacious. But when I saw myself on the screen, Yevghenia Vasilyevna, I got up—excuse the expression-bottom first....I stuck out my behind and made such a clumsy turn! And it was like that all the way through. Artificial, horrendous gestures. And here that lousy Pia Mora glides around like a swan. It's mortifying....

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

It's not as bad as all that, darling. You should see how I came out on my passport photo. A mug you wouldn't believe.

 

MARIANNA

And that's only the beginning: this was just a private screening for us. But now the film is going to be shown all over Berlin, and then all over the world, and with it my ridiculous gestures and grimaces, my unbelievable gait....

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Here's what I wanted to ask you, my dear. We have to move and we don't have a penny. Do you think you might be able to make us a loan of fifty marks or so?

 

MARIANNA

A loan? Oh, so that's what you were talking about....I guess I'm walking around in a kind of fog today. No, Yevghenia Vasilyevna, I'm broke too. I spent all my earnings on dresses.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Shame on you, you clotheshorse. Well, I guess that's that....

 

MARIANNA

On dresses! I bought myself a beautiful, white, Paris original. And you know for what? So I could.... Oh, there's no use talking about it!...

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Tell me, tell me—you know, I wouldn't breathe a word, I never gossip.

 

MARIANNA

I couldn't care less about the film. That's not it at all. The point is that I fell in love, fell in love like an idiot. Got hooked, in other words. And he left me. That's all there is to it.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Who was it? Some German?

 

MARIANNA

He could have been a German or a Chinaman—what difference does it make?...Or an American.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Time heals all wounds, dear. Things aren't easy for any of us. Little Mara, your namesake and my granddaughter, was also abandoned by her husband. All because they got married in a civil ceremony. Yes, life isn't easy. What will become of my old Vitya and me now? Where do we go? I have absolutely no idea.

 

MARIANNA

Yevghenia Vasilyevna, may I make a phone call?

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Go into that room over there. The tenant left but the telephone is still connected. Don't worry, there's no one there.

(Marianna leaves by the door in the rear wall. Grunting and holding up the hem of her skirt, Mrs. Oshivenski shoves a suitcase into a corner with her foot. She bends over and checks the lock. There is a knock at the door.)

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI
.

Come in.
Herein.
(Kuznetsoff hurries in.)

 

KUZNETSOFF

Quite a mess you have here.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Oh, thanks for dropping by....Very kind of you....

 

KUZNETSOFF

My wife gave me your message. I came for the parcel.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Yes, yes, of course.... Thank you so much.

 

KUZNETSOFF

I'm in a hurry.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Oh, but my husband wanted to have a chat with you. It was about something very important.

 

KUZNETSOFF

My train leaves at seven. I have to make one more stop before my departure.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

My husband is downstairs—he'll be here in a minute. Couldn't you just wait for him, my dear sir?

 

KUZNETSOFF

I can't right now. By the way, your parcel is pretty hefty. If you wish I can look in again on my way to the station.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Oh, that would be so nice! Here's the address—is it clear?

 

KUZNETSOFF

Yes, certainly. Only now it's not Morskaya Street but Herzen Street.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

What do we know: Herzen, Trotsky—who can tell them apart.... Don't lose the parcel. Regards to dear Olga Pavlovna.

 

KUZNETSOFF

No—I've already said good-by to her. So long. I'll drop by in half an hour.
(leaves)

(Marianna returns, listlessly crosses the room, listlessly sinks into a chair.)

 

MARIANNA

He's gone.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

You mean Kolya, dear?

 

MARIANNA
(angrily)
And good riddance! It's best that way.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

The world is full of ways. In my time there was only one—straight and simple, while nowadays there is any number of them—twisted ones, crooked ones. We're being buffeted right and left. And you want me to tell you where it all comes from, what the root of the evil is—
(Oshivenski enters.)

 

OSHIVENSKI

No luck. She started talking about the police,
(sits down and drums on the table)

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

What will become of us now? Oh my Lord....

 

OSHIVENSKI

Just don't you start whimpering.

 

MARIANNA

I'll be running along.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

You do look dejected today, dear. Well, go on and God bless you. Things aren't very joyful here either.

 

OSHIVENSKI

Good-by and good luck. We'll meet in Paradise, God willing.

 

MARIANNA

(apathetically)

Yes, yes, we'll phone each other some time,
(leaves)

 

OSHIVENSKI

Floozie!

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Vitya, I didn't want to say it in front of her, or else all of Berlin would find out that our house is frequented by Bolsheviks.
He
came for the parcel.

 

OSHIVENSKI

Why didn't you ask him to wait? You're really something!

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Just a minute....He promised to stop by again before he leaves,
(knock at the door)
Come in.
Herein.
(Fyodor Fyodorovich enters; he is wearing a khaki suit with a belted jacket, and carries a walking stick.)

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

I ran into Marianna Sergeyevna right outside your building and, can you imagine, she didn't recognize me. Downright amazing!

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Well, what's new, Fyodor Fyodorovich? Did you find something?

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

I did. Five Paradise Street, care of Engel; courtyard entrance, fifth floor. Unprepossessing but extremely cheap room.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

How much is it?

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

Twenty-five. Including gas lighting and use of kitchen.

 

OSHIVENSKI

This is all idle talk.... We can't move out of here without paying anyway. And not a pfennig to our name.

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

Now don't you worry, Victor Ivanovich. It's true I don't have any money either, but I think I can come up with some by tomorrow.

 

OSHIVENSKI

We've got to move out today.
(strikes the table)
Anyway, that's beside the point. If we don't croak here, we'll croak there....

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Oh, Vitya, stop saying such horrid things. Fyodor Fyodorovich, did you say use of the kitchen was included?

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

Absolutely. Want to go have a look at it right now?

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Yes—let's, dear. Why waste time?

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

As for me, I'm in a really jolly mood today. A pal of mine in Paris bought four taxicabs and is hiring me as a driver. He's even sending money for my ticket. I'm already working on my visa.

 

OSHIVENSKI
(through clenched teeth, shaking his head in time to the words)
Oh, isn't life wonderful!

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

Of course it's wonderful. I like variety. I'm grateful to Communism—it made us discover the whole wide world. Now I'm going to see Paris—new city, new impressions, the Eiffel Tower. It's a great feeling....

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

All right, I'm ready. Let's go.

 

OSHIVENSKI
(to Fyodor Fyodorovich)
You and your Eiffel Tower....Oh, well....

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

Now don't you worry, Victor Ivanovich. Everything will be fine. You'll see. The room is clean, I'd even say very clean.

 

MRS. OSHIVENSKI

Come, dear, hurry up.

 

FYODOR FYODOROVICH

Bye-bye, Victor Ivanovich.
(Fyodor Fyodorovich and Mrs. Oshivenski leave. Oshivenski sits motionless for some time, hunched over and with the fingers of his hand, numbed by the drumming, outspread on the edge of the table. Then, outside the window, the squeaky, cracking strains of a very poorly played violin become audible. It is the same melody that Olga Pavlovna heard at the opening of A ct II.)

 

OSHIVENSKI

Oh, that damn music! I'd like to take those catgut scrapers and...

(With a loud banging Kuznetsoff hurries in, carrying a suitcase. He, too, hears the violin and, while setting down the suitcase, holds it for a second in midair. The music breaks off.)

 

KUZNETSOFF

That's amusing—I know that tune,
(sits down)
So. At your service.

 

OSHIVENSKI

You see me in a moment of dire distress. I wanted to ask for your help.

 

KUZNETSOFF

I heard your little tavern folded, isn't that so?

 

OSHIVENSKI

That's the whole point. I invested every last penny in it. Everything went down the drain.

 

KUZNETSOFF

Is this furniture yours?

 

OSHIVENSKI

No. It came with the room. I don't have anything of my own.

 

KUZNETSOFF

So what do you plan to do now?

 

OSHIVENSKI

That's the problem. Do you think you might be able to give me some kind of advice? I'd really like to have some advice from you.