Make Me Whole (30 page)

Nick’s expression turned regretful, and he smoothed Galen’s hair back from his forehead. “I’m sorry about that. I was reacting to you suddenly being unavailable and uncommunicative more than anything else. Which goes back to when you left and stupid shit with my family, but it’s not fair to hang it all on you. You get busy at work, so do I. It happens, and I just have to deal with my own issues.”

“It’s different now. It was different from the moment I got up the courage to call you. And now that I know I love you, it’s even more different than before.” Galen kissed Nick and repeated the sentiment. “I’m going to keep saying those words until you believe them. Before, we had sex, and I’d like to think, the start of a friendship. Just because you can’t get a hold of me doesn’t mean I’m going to up and disappear on you.”

“Are you sure you won’t reconsider marrying me? I know it all came out wrong earlier tonight, and maybe I’m rushing us—”

Galen pressed his fingers against Nick’s lips and shook his head. “One thing at a time. You have your hang-ups about the past and so do I. And one of them is being proposed to for all the wrong reasons. It’s a commitment, not a lark, not an excuse to have a hold on somebody or doing it for another person, like Dexios and Lykon. When you can say that you want to marry me because you want a future together, because you can see that future, and it’s not an excuse, then you ask me.”

Nick cocked his head, his gaze becoming curious. “You’ve been proposed to before?”

“Not tonight. I don’t want to talk about past relationships when I’m naked in your bed.” Galen straddled Nick’s body. “The only person I want to think about is you. But I think if things keep going the way they are and you’re not sick to death of me by the time the gala is over, then we can discuss taking things to another level.”

Nick cocked his head, slid his hands up and down Galen’s ribs before his hands settled on Galen’s hips. “Another level? And I’m assuming you’re not talking about eloping, so… maybe moving in?”

Galen leaned over him and gave Nick a small smile. “That’s a possibility. Let’s just take this one day at a time. We both have issues to work through. Okay? And it just so happens that my lease will be up around that time. Why don’t we keep that thought as a possibility?” And if not Nick’s, then Galen knew he needed to get out of the place he’d shared with Bryan anyway. He should’ve done that a year ago.

“I know I rushed things, and I know we’re starting over, not really picking back up from where we left off.” Nick lifted up to press a kiss to Galen’s mouth. “When I see something I want, I go for it, but I should be giving you time. I didn’t give it to you last time. I guess what I’m saying is it’s okay, we can wait until after the gala to talk about it again.”

Galen’s heart started beating faster as Nick’s hands wandered over Galen’s body, and he pressed more of those kisses down from Galen’s lips to his jaw, then his throat. For a moment Galen worried Nick would refuse, that he wouldn’t be ready to take a step back. They had enough pressure on them with the statues and their past heartbreaks. They didn’t need more.

“I have another seven months on my lease.” Nick slid his arms around Galen and turned them both around so Galen was under him. “When that’s up we can find a place together if that’s what we decide.”

Galen warmed inside. Together. He liked the sound of that. And maybe in seven months they’d both be ready to consider making their relationship permanent. He wanted it. He was a little frightened by how much he wanted it. That permanency. But only if Nick truly believed that it could work. Galen wasn’t going to go into it already handicapped. “That sounds like the best thing you’ve said all night.”

“Is that right?” Nick said with a mock growl.

Galen laughed and nodded. “Yep, and I think we should celebrate.”

Nick’s lips wandered down Galen’s jaw to his throat, eliciting a thrilled shiver from him. “And how do you propose we do that?”

Galen slid his leg up along Nick’s and hooked it around his waist as he arched his throat. “Oh, I’m sure I can count on you to be very inventive.”

T
HE
early-morning light filtered through the blinds as Galen lay curled up next to Nick, watching him sleep. This was a simple pleasure he didn’t want to take for granted. If he had a say in it, he would choose to wake up like this every morning for a very long time. Galen kissed Nick’s temple, then rose to shower and make a quick breakfast for both of them.

He could’ve handled their confrontation better last night. He’d been too tired and too excited to notice Nick’s tension. Galen stepped under the hot spray and let it wash over his face. And admittedly, he’d been hurt to realize that Nick still didn’t trust him. He’d just have to earn it, bit by bit if that’s what it took. It had taken Galen almost two years to get to this place again, where he was willing to risk his heart. He owed Nick the time to heal as well.

It would take a while, especially with the way Galen had reacted when Nick proposed. It had grabbed him right by the gut. Galen leaned his hands against the wall, letting the water relax muscles knotted by memory. Bryan had asked because it was a lark, something fun to do, to add to his bucket list, not because he really wanted to settle down. He’d loved Bryan, and he knew Bryan had loved him in return, but trying to hold onto him was like trying to hold onto running water.

That’s what they had been arguing about right before the accident. Galen shuddered. It was almost enough to make him go to Nick and say yes. They could grab the license and go before the justice of the peace and get married. Nick wasn’t Bryan; he wanted the same stability that Galen craved. They’d find a way to make it work.
We love each other, right?

Sometimes love wasn’t enough.

Galen laid his forehead against the tiles with a sigh and shut off the water before it cooled. Nick would want one too, this morning.

No, he couldn’t jump into a marriage for the wrong reasons, no matter how much it stung Nick last night. In the meantime, Galen would keep doing what he was doing, keep being honest with Nick about how he felt. This was going to take work, like any other relationship. Hadn’t that been Dexios’s and Lykon’s problem? They’d been too impatient to work through their troubles?

Galen toweled himself off and smiled as he heard Nick’s light snore when he went back to the bedroom to change for the day. The snoring broke off, followed by a throaty, “Mmm.”

Galen glanced over his shoulder as he pulled on his pants. Nick smiled at him, eyes half-lidded. “Morning, you hungry?”

“Waking up to see you bent over has me thinking of many wants, and food isn’t one of them,” Nick said in a teasing voice. “You sure have my complete attention. I’m not even remotely interested in going back to sleep.”

Galen shrugged into a shirt and leaned down to drop a quick kiss on Nick’s lips. “I left some hot water for you. I’ll go make us food.”

“I’d rather shower with you.” Nick caught Galen before he could straighten and kissed him again.

“Tomorrow,” Galen promised. “It’ll give us something to look forward to.”

“Tease,” Nick grumbled as Galen moved back, but there was a smile in his eyes. “This is the second time you’re going to send me off to work with blue balls.”

“Ha, yesterday was your fault. I was fully prepared to finish what I started,” Galen called back as he moved toward the living room. From under the draped cage he heard a twitter of greeting, and he made a detour to pull the cover off the cage. Amy cocked her head, fixed one eye on him, and let out a burst of sound.

“Good morning to you too.” Galen said, opening the blinds. The twittering and cheeps followed him into the kitchen where he pulled out the ingredients for an omelet.

Breakfast was ready and being slid onto plates when Nick appeared, wearing a pair of sweats and a Chewbacca T-shirt. It made Galen’s lips twitch. Nick would do just about anything to hold off putting on a suit for another five minutes. It was the last thing he put on in the morning and the first thing he took off at night.

“I’m probably going to be working late tonight,” Galen said as he brought the plates to the table. “Until the gala is over, I’m afraid I’ll be spending more and more time there.”

Nick frowned and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I could help you out some if you want.”

“Thank you. The more hands, the faster it’ll go,” Galen said as he buttered his toast. “I used to spend every waking moment there. It worried Suzane a bit; now I look forward to getting off at a reasonable hour.”

“Do you want to go out tonight or stay in?” Nick asked before taking a long drink of his coffee, then topping it off.

“In, please. I want to relax. We could come back here. You have pets to care for. I don’t.”

Nick had sounded jealous last night over something. Galen made a mental note to get Nick more involved with the workshop at the museum since he was interested. Then Nick would see that he had nothing to worry about with any of the men that Galen saw over the day. Nick didn’t accuse him of cheating. He didn’t try hounding Galen about what he did during the day and who he did it with. Still, the thoughts had to be there. Galen had really been a selfish SOB in the past. Regret twisted inside of him.

Galen couldn’t imagine being in love with someone, being with them, and not just knowing but seeing that person with someone else, engaging in empty sex, when you knew you had more to offer them. It would’ve driven Galen batshit too.

On impulse, Galen covered Nick’s hand with his own. “I know I put you through hell last time we were together and more hell during the six months after I walked out.” Nick’s expression moved from surprised to wary. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“I don’t think you have anything to apologize for, but thank you. And I’m sorry if I make you think that you need to keep apologizing for that. I guess I have my own baggage to work through.” Nick turned his palm up and tangled their fingers together. “I knew what I was getting into. You weren’t being malicious, and I appreciated your honesty. I’m a big boy; I can make my own decisions.”

“Yes, you are a big boy.” Galen gave him a mock leer to lighten the mood, and Nick laughed. He wanted to ask Nick what his emotional baggage was, but they didn’t have time for an in-depth conversation before Nick had to be at work. He’d get Nick to open up about it tonight.

“You are something else.” Nick touched his knuckles lightly to Galen’s jaw, his gaze softening. The way he looked at Galen made him feel so alive. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The wariness flickered back for an instant before it was gone, and Nick smiled. Well, at least he wasn’t telling Galen to stop saying it, so that was progress. Eventually it would really sink in that this was real.

Galen refilled their coffees. “I’ve got a question for you, something that’s been nagging at me from the beginning.”

“What is it?”

“If it wasn’t for the statues, would you have called me back?” Galen didn’t know why he asked; the answer didn’t matter. It was just one of those questions that poked at him. How close had he come to letting Nick slip through his fingers by waiting so long? Nick had been so intent on the statues when they spoke again, and Galen had let him, taking whatever connection he could.

Nick got quiet as he pushed the food around on his plate. Finally he looked up at Galen, his expression troubled. “I don’t know. I’d like to think yes, I was definitely considering it, but I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. That’s fair enough.” Galen smiled at him, and Nick’s expression eased. “I knew I might have to work to get you back. I’d hoped that you’d want to try, and I was willing to jump through a lot more hoops than you gave me for the chance to get back with you.”

“I may have fought the idea of getting back together when you first brought it up, but it didn’t last long. Why say no to something I had wanted since I first saw you?” Nick glanced at the clock and slid the rest of his omelet onto his toast. “Damn, I’ve gotta change. I have a harassment accusation to look into today. I want to get the investigation started as soon as possible.”

“That sounds depressing.”

“It’s going to be. No matter what happens or what we find out, there are going to be some very unhappy people.” Nick leaned down and brushed a quick kiss on his lips. “Give me a call tonight if you need to be rescued.”

 “I’ll let you know if I manage to escape the dragon lady unscathed.” Galen tugged him down for another quick kiss. “Love you.” Again and again, until Nick believed, and Galen thought he might be starting to come around. Somebody else had hurt Nick and hurt him badly. Tonight he’d find out who that was, and maybe then Nick could let go of some of the past himself.

“Love you too.” Nick disappeared down the hallway, and Galen grabbed the dishes to bring them to the sink. He’d better get moving himself. He shoved his wallet in his back pocket and searched for his keys.

“Holy shit! Galen!”

Galen spun around at the sound of alarm in Nick’s voice, half expecting to see Dexios or some other odd apparition, but it seemed quiet. “What’s wrong?” he called as he went down the hallway toward the sound of Nick’s voice in the bathroom.

“Bring me a shoe, a big-ass fucking shoe.” There was a definite sound of panic in Nick’s voice. Mystified, Galen peered into the bathroom. Nick was half-dressed, staring intently at a spot on the floor, his face pale. A large spider sat on the floor in the corner, a pretty ugly-looking one. “Where’s my shoe?” Nick demanded, holding out his hand and keeping his gaze on the spider.

“You’re wearing shoes.” Galen nudged Nick’s foot in case he’d forgotten that he already had squishing power.

“No way in hell am I getting near that thing. I need a shoe to throw! Better yet, grab me the fucking broom. Hurry, before it moves.” Galen couldn’t help himself. He started laughing and Nick tore his gaze away long enough to shoot him an incredulous look. “It’s not fucking funny.”

“It’s hilarious. Who would’ve thought you had a spider phobia,” Galen said, still laughing as he pushed Nick out of the bathroom. “Go on and get dressed. I’ll take care of it for you.”