Make Me Whole (26 page)

“I’m so sorry,” Nick said, drawing him close again.

“I’d never told anyone before, that we were fighting.” Galen laid his head down on Nick’s shoulder and relaxed, feeling as if a huge, terrible weight had come off him.

“You need to forgive yourself, sweetheart. It was an accident. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen,” Nick said in a soft voice.

“I know, at least in my head I know that. It doesn’t seem to make much of a difference.” Galen thought that he might’ve started himself on the road to self-forgiveness with his confession.

His arms tightened around Nick. “Thank you for listening.”

Nick’s rubbed his hands up and down Galen’s back, offering more comfort. “So that’s why I never see you drive.”

“Oh God no, every time I get behind the wheel I freeze up. I can’t breathe. I can’t unlock my hands. I tried several times, and then I gave up.”

“Well, I guess the next step in moving on would be getting you to drive again.”

Galen stiffened, going cold all over again, and Nick tightened his arms around him. “Don’t worry. We don’t have to rush, and we can do it together, okay?”

Galen didn’t answer at first, until bit by bit he began to relax in Nick’s arms. He was right. That was the next step. He needed to do it for himself. “Okay.”

Neither of them said anything else. Nick held him, and Galen held him back, vowing to himself that this time it would be different. He wasn’t going to take one day with Nick for granted.

G
ALEN
stirred, and the unfamiliar weight of an arm across his stomach accompanied by the sound of a soft snore drew him out of a comfortable dream. He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Nick. Sandy lashes fanned against his cheek and his fingers curled into a relaxed fist under his chin. The sexy dominating fire had fled, making him seem far more vulnerable in sleep. Galen was drawn to both the fire and the vulnerability. One made him ache with need, and the other had him all tied up in knots.

It had been a long time since he’d been tied up in knots like that. He rather liked it. A slow smile crossed Galen’s lips as he tucked an arm under his cheek and turned so he could continue to watch Nick sleeping. The last time Nick did this to him all Galen could think of was running and putting some distance between them while he sorted it out.

Now, the last thing he wanted to do was run. His heart twisted with a little ache of recognition. He was in love with Nick. He had been for a long time, and he’d fought it and fled from it, and neither had done any damn good. And the funny thing was, after last night, he wasn’t afraid anymore. There was always the possibility of losing someone. You couldn’t hide out in a bubble forever. The scare with Suzane had reminded him of that. He’d thought he’d made himself safe by burying himself in the museum, and somehow he’d gotten attached to people anyway.

Nick’s eyes fluttered open, and for a moment confusion shadowed his eyes before he gave Galen a sleepy grin. “You’re still here. I thought you would’ve slipped off by now.”

“Not going anywhere.” Galen brushed his thumb over Nick’s jaw, the morning stubble scraping his skin and reminding him fleetingly of Dexios. “I have absolutely zero interest in leaving.”

“Words I love hearing first thing in the morning.” Nick brushed his mouth over Galen’s. “Thank you for staying.”

“Thank you for listening to me last night.” There hadn’t been one nightmare to haunt his dreams. Galen thought that maybe, just maybe, by unburdening himself to Nick, opening himself up to what he offered, it might’ve let him finally start to put his memories in the past where they belonged.

“You know how long I’ve waited for you to trust me enough to let me in?” Nick kissed Galen again. “Thanks aren’t necessary. I’ll listen anytime you need me too. I love you.”

Galen’s heart did that hard little lurch of happiness again. He’d forgotten what it felt like. “I—”

“Don’t.” Nick brushed his thumb over Galen’s lip, stopping his words. “You don’t have to say anything, I’m not expecting it. And if it would make you more comfortable I won’t say it anymore until you’re ready to hear it. I wasn’t planning on it. It just kind of blurted out of me.”

Galen suppressed a chuckle and nipped Nick’s thumb. “You can say it as much as you want. It doesn’t make me think of bolting at all. I wasn’t ready six months ago. I am ready now.” He slid his hand down to Nick’s, linking their fingers. “What I’m trying to say is that I lo—”

This time Nick stopped him with a kiss, taking possession of his mouth as Galen’s thoughts spun. How was he going to tell Nick how he felt if the other man kept interrupting him? Not that he minded this kind of an interruption at all. His body ached, desire awakening him as memories of last night flooded through him.

“Don’t say it.” Nick pulled back, his eyes haunted as he touched his forehead to Galen’s. “Don’t say it until you mean it.”

Galen started to say that he did mean it, but Nick kissed him again, a hard, desperate kiss that told Galen how raw Nick’s emotions were when it came to him. It was crazy. For all of Nick’s talk, now he was the one not ready to hear the words. It made Galen wonder if there had been somebody else in Nick’s past who had walked out on him after claiming to love him. If that was the case, Galen was going to have to show Nick he loved him and keep showing him until Nick was ready to believe.

Galen tightened his arms around Nick, softened his mouth with a moan as Nick plundered his mouth, kissing him more deeply and taking claim. It had been such a turn-on when he offered to let Nick take control last night. He’d forgotten how exciting it could be, especially with someone he trusted. And maybe that total surrender would help Nick to see that Galen did love him. He’d never let Nick go that far before, let him get so close, and Galen craved more of that now.

Nick broke the kiss, a bit breathless as he looked down at Galen, who smiled back at him. He seemed to relax when Galen didn’t try to admit his feelings again and nipped Galen’s jaw. Galen shivered, arching up into him, turning his head so that Nick could get at his neck.

Instead, Nick touched Galen’s throat with his fingertips. “I think I may have left a couple of marks.”

Galen’s cock throbbed as he pictured them against his skin, reminders of where Nick’s mouth had been and how much it had driven him crazy. Galen’s neck was his weakness, and once Nick started playing with it, he was a goner. “I’m sure you left more than a couple, and I don’t mind at all.”

“Well, you did ask for it, quite insistently and often.” Nick grinned at him, his dimples coming out. “And then there was all the squirming and cursing.”

“Remember last night when you smacked my ass?” Galen shuddered, going weak inside at the memory of those two hard stinging slaps. “I’d like for you to do it again because you want me squirming and cursing. You can pull me over your lap any time you want.”

Nick’s eyes heated, and before Galen could offer any more encouragement, Nick had them both sitting up. Galen gasped as he was pulled over Nick’s lap, his hands pinned against his back. He could break the grip if he wanted, but he had no desire to. Nick’s hand squeezed his ass, and Galen moaned in anticipation. This was further proof that Nick was the right man for him. Nick wasn’t at all turned off by Galen’s desire for a little kinky play. He understood it and wanted it too. It was like the missing puzzle pieces of his life were coming together bit by bit.

“Are you sure?” Nick asked roughly, and Galen nodded, rocking his hips to show Nick how hard he was.

“Oh yeah.” Galen looked over his shoulder at Nick, love and trust tumbling inside of him. The words he yearned to say burned on his lips, but he didn’t want to bring this morning’s fun to a screeching halt. He’d have to show Nick how much he wanted him, how much he felt safe with him, how much he reveled in this new dynamic between them, how much he enjoyed Nick’s company and friendship. “Believe me, if I didn’t want it or if I decide to change my mind, I’ll let you know.”

Nick squeezed his ass again and kept his hand locked around Galen’s wrists. He liked that illusion of helplessness, and he wondered how much it would take to get Nick to try a bit of bondage with him. Probably not much. Then his thoughts fled as Nick’s open palm cracked across his cheek.

The sharp sting flooded Galen’s body with heat, and before he could process that, another hard slap followed. His cock throbbed. He shouldn’t like that so much. All those thoughts he’d had over the years that had kept him from pursuing this side of himself flooded his mind. He was a grown man, not a disobedient—his breath left him in a rush as Nick set a hard rhythm, and all Galen could do was writhe, lifting his ass in offering and anticipation of the next blow.

Nick surrounded him. Nick held him. Nick was laying his mark on him. Galen cried out, kissing Nick’s knee, pleading for more as his throbbing cock ground against Nick’s thigh between slaps. The heat rose and soon, even when Nick paused to squeeze, that stung too. Galen squirmed, fighting to keep his hands still, to keep from covering himself, and that excited him almost as much as his breath came in gasps and pants.

“Nick… oh God….”

And then it was over and Galen went limp, panting, face down, ass burning, cock aching. “Are you okay?” Nick passed a gentle hand over his ass, and Galen shifted with a moan.

“Yeah, just let me get my breath.” Nick’s cock pressed against his stomach, making his mouth water. As much as he longed for Nick to ride him hard now, he wanted even more to get his mouth on Nick and suck him dry. Galen tugged his hands, and Nick released him with a frown of concern furrowing between his eyebrows. Before he could speak, Galen shoved him back on the bed.

“Stop worrying. Let me show you how much I enjoyed you smacking my ass.” Galen laid a kiss on Nick’s mouth, then slid down his body and took Nick’s cock in his mouth.

“Oh fuck, Galen.” Nick threaded his fingers through Galen’s hair. Nick’s head fell back against the pillow as he groaned.

Galen rubbed his tongue along the shaft, cupped Nick’s heavy balls, groaning as he sucked. He couldn’t get enough of him. He deep-throated Nick, listening in pleasure to the sounds of his moans, reveling in making Nick pant this time. Soon Nick’s fingers tightened in his hair, making Galen’s heart race as Nick began to thrust into his mouth, moving slowly until Galen adjusted and moaned for more.

“How could I have forgotten how wicked your mouth is?” Nick groaned. “You looked so damn gorgeous across my lap. Fucking making me crazy.”

Galen drew back and lapped his tongue across the head of Nick’s cock, tasting the heady rush of musk and salt. “You can do that every morning if you like, and for the rest of the day, every time I sit down I’ll think of you.”

Nick’s eyes went hot with a smoldering possessive look that had Galen wanting to crawl into his arms so he could tell him that he loved him back. Before he could say something, a discordant beeping cut through the moment, getting louder each second.

For a second Nick looked confused, and then realization made his eyes widen as he reached for his phone. “Son of a bitch!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Fuck!” Nick dragged a hand through his hair and sat up, gently pushing Galen aside. “I’m sorry.”

Galen sat back on his heels and took a deep breath, trying to still the throbbing in his cock. “Appointment?”

“Yeah, interview. Shit!” Nick scrambled into some clothes, muttering to himself and casting longing glances at Galen. “I’m sorry, if I could cancel it, I would. Stay as long as you want. There’s a spare key by the door, lock up when you go.” He dropped a hard kiss on Galen’s lips, making them tingle as he struggled to knot his tie at the same time. “See you tonight, and I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

He looked so distressed that Galen didn’t have the heart to be irritated. He had the luxury of being his own boss, Nick didn’t. “It’s okay.” Galen palmed Nick’s cock through his pants and gave it a rough squeeze, making Nick groan and his eyes flash. He grinned up at him, feeling downright wicked. “Just something to think about today.”

“Evil imp. I adore you.”

N
ICK
paced the confines of his office, trying to get his thoughts together long enough to make it through the next meeting on staffing in an hour. The interview had been sheer torture, and if somebody quizzed Nick now about it, he wouldn’t be able to recall one thing about the candidate. At least his notes appeared to be concise and complete. He hoped he didn’t make an ass out of himself.

He sat down at his desk and poked at his notes, only to spin around in his chair to stare out the window again. He wanted to trust Galen, he really did. After all, Galen had opened up to him last night. Galen had allowed himself to be vulnerable in so many ways. He’d come to Nick when he needed comfort. None of that helped his mindset at the moment.

Nick wasn’t being fair to Galen. He was demanding commitment from him when he still had hang-ups of his own, and he wasn’t allowing Galen to give him that commitment. He wanted to believe Galen loved him in return, but life experience had taught him that love wasn’t enough to make people stay.

It hadn’t been enough to keep his mom with his family. It hadn’t been enough to keep him in San Francisco. And it hadn’t been enough to make the rest of his family allow him to be who he wanted to be. He was still Baby Nick, who needed to be watched over and guided. He didn’t understand their need to second-guess everything he did, and they didn’t understand his need to have the space to be himself. It was just one big clusterfuck.

Galen had already lost someone he’d been in love with, and he’d already proven that when emotions got too intense he ran from them. It was only a matter of time before he did it again, before he decided that the risk was too much. Nick wanted to believe that Galen was different now. God, he really wanted to believe. But Lykon ran, and Galen was Lykon reincarnated. And every other version of Lykon had done the same thing. Nick didn’t know what he would do if Galen left again.