Major Karnage (29 page)

Inside the case was the head of Galt Dabney.

“They did it,” Sydney said. “They actually went and did it.”

“Did what?” Karnage looked up at the head. “What did they do?”

The eyes of Galt Dabney opened, and the cataract-laden pupils
drifted down at Karnage.

The screen below the head flickered to life, and a much healthier
Galt Dabney appeared smiling on the screen.

“Hello, and welcome to the Dabney Family Archives. The geniuses
at the Dabney Imagino Labs have worked their magic and given
me the gift of everlasting life. Using the latest in cryopreservation
technology, my mind and body will be specially preserved until such
time that a cure can be found for whatever ails me. In the meantime,
while I’m ‘cooling my heels,’ I will continue to lead the company with
the help of this nifty little device here.”

The camera pulled out to show Galt standing beside the very oak
cabinet and screen that Karnage and Sydney were now watching.

“Using this device, I’ll be able to answer any questions that you
may have. Go ahead and ask me anything. I’ve created a library
of pre-recorded answers that should cover the most commonly
asked questions. Financial advice. Managerial tips. Old Dabney
family recipes. Ask about my grandmother’s recipe for spiced peach
jam: that’s a good one! And should you happen to ask a question I
didn’t fully anticipate, this machine has full access to the Dabney
Family Archives. That includes security footage of board meetings,
company minutes, old softball games, school plays, birthday parties
. . . why just about anything you could imagine. So go ahead. Ask me
anything, and I’ll do my best to answer with true Galt style.” Galt
drew an imaginary pistol. “Bam, like that.” He winked.

The screen went blank.

Karnage and Sydney looked at each other. “Is this for real?”
Karnage asked.

The screen blinked back on. It showed Galt Dabney’s face in a
close-up. He laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yes, yes.
I assure you it’s all very real. There is nothing I won’t be able to
answer. So go ahead. Ask me anything.”

“Maybe we should ask about the peach jam,” Sydney said.

“I got a better idea.” Karnage cleared his throat. “What do you
know about the squidbug invasion?”

The screen stayed blank for a second. Galt’s cheery face appeared
again. “Sorry, I didn’t quite understand your question. Can you
please clarify the word—” The screen switched to black and white
security footage of Karnage and Sydney standing in front of the
screen. They heard Karnage say, “squidbug,” and the screen switched
back to Galt’s smiling face.

Sydney cleared her throat. “He means ‘aliens.’”

“Okay, that’s better. Thanks.” The screen went blank again. Galt’s
face came back. He clapped his hands. “Well, that’s a real cracker,
isn’t it? I’m afraid I didn’t anticipate that question. But you haven’t
stumped me yet. Give me a few moments to pull from the archives,
and I’ll try to answer your question as best I can.”

The screen went blank. It stayed dark for a long time. Karnage
looked behind them, and saw the security camera blinking down at
him. He wondered who was watching it. He wondered if the machine
was just stalling them until security could arrive.

Karnage was about to tell Sydney to take up defensive positions
when the screen blinked on and Galt smiled down at them again.
He rubbed his hands together. “Okay! That was a real corker of a
question. Sorry it took me so long. I’ve done my best to put together
a little video compilation that should clear everything up for you.
Feel free to ask any follow-up questions when the film is done. So
have a seat, relax, and enjoy the show. And, here we go!”

Horns trumpeted loudly as the letters DiN shot across the screen.
A lens flare blasted everything out, revealing a newscaster with a
striking head of hair sitting at a desk beaming at the screen.

“Welcome back to the Dabney Information Network,” she said.
“I’m Angela Lee, and I’m here with Steve Dabney, Chief Operating
Officer of the Dabney Corporation.”

The shot changed to show Steve Dabney sitting at the other end
of the desk with his hands clasped. He smiled warmly and nodded
at the camera.

“Thanks for being with us here today, Steve,” Angela said.
“Thanks for having me, Angela.”

Angela picked up a sheet and read from it dramatically. “‘To the moon, Alex.’”

Steve laughed.

Angela put down her sheet and smiled at Steve. “Now that’s a
quote from an interview you gave last year to our own Xander
Farnsworth.”

Steve nodded. “Yes, I remember that. I’m not sure how serious I
was about that at the time.”

“But it turns out you were serious, because here you are, months
later, getting ready to launch the first manned flight to the moon.”

“That’s right, Angela. If all goes well with the launch tomorrow, I
will be on my way to being the first man to step foot on the moon.”

“Now there are those who would argue that this isn’t the first
time we’ve been to the moon. What would you have to say to them?”

Steve smiled bemusedly. “Well, you know, I’ve seen the footage
they’re referring to and . . .” He shrugged.

“And you’re not convinced?”

“Look, I wasn’t there. You weren’t there. Nobody alive today was
there. Our experts have looked at this video that supposedly ‘proves’
we landed on the moon, but their findings came back inconclusive.

So I’m not going to comment one way or another. But what I will
say, Angela, is this: a
Dabney
has yet to step foot on the moon. And
there’s nothing a Dabney can’t do if he sets his mind to it, and my
mind, as you can tell, is pretty much set.”

Angela giggled. “Yes it is. Now, I know you have to go soon, but if
I could ask just one more question. . . .”

“Shoot.”

“What does it feel like to be one of the richest men on the planet?”

Steve smiled. “I have to say, Angela, that it feels pretty good.”

Angela giggled again. “Thanks so much for your time, Steve. And
good luck with the launch tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Angela.” Steve winked. “It’s been a pleasure.”

The screen changed to show a jet with a smaller bulbous white ship
attached to its underbelly. The smaller ship had a
Dabney-1
logo
printed on its side. A voice crackled over a speaker. “We are in the
bin and ready to go. Ten seconds.”

The conjoined ships flew in silence. A sheet of blue clouds drifted
by far below.

“Okay, here we go.”

A spurt of blue flame shot out the back of the
Dabney-1
.

“There it is. You can see the flame. The flicker of flame. Good old
Dabney blue.”

The
Dabney-1
separated from the jet and shot forward.

The shot changed to a camera mounted on the
Dabney-1
’s tail,
looking up past the cockpit toward the nose at the blue sky.

“Our DiN viewers are enjoying an impressive site here. That’s
your downlink camera on the
Dabney-1
as it prepares to punch
through into geostationary orbit.”

The world started spinning and the camera shook violently.
Bursts of snow that reminded Karnage of squiggles shot across the
video feed.

“Uh oh. Uh oh.”

The footage evened out, the squiggles dissipated, and the nose
of the ship sailed through the black, the curve of the earth glowing
just below.

“Wow. Look at that.”

The sun appeared from behind the earth, shining bright and
hard against the black.

“He’s made it. He’s made it.”

A thin line of black sliced across the sun’s aura. It grew thicker
and thicker, slowly blocking out the sun’s glow. It kept growing until
it blocked out the blue of the earth. A dark shadow slowly enveloped
the body of the
Dabney-1
. Green panels of light flickered across the
black. The screen flashed a violent green, then turned to snow.

“Hold on. This is not a scripted manoeuvre. Oh my god.
Communications with Dabneyville have been cut off. We’re waiting
for confirmation that Steve is okay. That systems are normal.
That—”

The screen went black.

The screen cut to black and white security footage of a boardroom.
Galt Dabney paced at the end of the table, his face pinched and
scowling. A line of executives sat on either side. Their eyes stayed
fixed on Galt until he stopped in front of a young executive at the
end.

“How long has he been gone for?” Galt asked.

The executive pulled out a tablet. “About two hours.”

“What are the chances he’s still alive?”

The executive shrugged. “They don’t know, Galt.”

“Dammit.” Galt sat at the head of the table. He sighed. “I knew we
should have kept this quiet until he returned. What does the press
know so far?”

An executive with her hair up in a bun slid a tablet over to Galt.
“That he went up, and there’s been a communications problem, and
that we expect to hear back from him soon.”

Galt steepled his fingers in front of him. He nodded. “All right. All
right. Maybe we can make something positive out of this. Come up
with an angle. He gave his life saving the earth.” He looked around
at the other executives. “How does that sound? Too over the top?”

“It might be a little, sir,” one of them said.

“Maybe if it was just a continent,” another offered, “instead of
the whole planet.”

“Or a city,” someone else said. “He was having trouble on re-entry.
Heading for a populated area. Rather than kill innocent people, he
sacrificed himself to save their lives.”

Galt nodded. “That’s good. That’s very good. Consult with
astrophysics. Make it plausible. Airtight. He had to ‘tech’ the ‘tech’
in order to ‘tech’ the ‘tech.’ Something like that. But good.”

“We could have him save Dabneyville,” someone offered.

Galt shook his head. “No no no. It could look self-serving, like he
was saving his own. Make it a small, backwater village somewhere.”

“What about Carpathia?”

Galt scowled. “No good. Too much baggage there. We need
someplace else. Somewhere on the southern continent.”

An executive rushed into the room. “They just got word, Galt.
He’s all right. They’ve re-established contact.”

“Oh, thank god. Where is he?”

“He’s on his way back to Earth.”

“Back to Earth? Why?”

“He won’t say. He says he needs to talk to you. Privately.”

The security footage changed to a lush office similar in design to
the vault Karnage and Sydney stood in. Oak panelling was slathered
over everything. Galt Dabney sat behind the desk, holding his head
in his hands. Steve sat opposite him in a plush leather armchair, his
feet resting casually on a footstool.

“I can’t believe it,” Galt said. “I just can’t believe it.”

“It’s true, Uncle Galt.” Steve leaned forward and slid a tablet
across the desk towards the old man. “Astrophysics confirms it.”

Galt waved it away. “I saw the report.”

“So you know there’s nothing we can do. They have superior
firepower. Superior technology. We simply don’t stand a chance.”

“There has to be something we can do. There has to be.”

“There is,” Steve said. “We can cooperate.”

“Cooperate? We can’t just let them waltz in and take over!”

“Nobody will be taking over anyone. It’s just a friendly merger.
We’ll get full value on our shares, access to all of their latest medical
and technological advances, and other special perks.”

“My god.” Galt dropped his head into his hands.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, Uncle, but it’s going to happen sooner
or later. They’re going to take over whether we like it or not. It’s
better for everyone this way. No violence. No war. No unnecessary
bloodshed. In effect, we get to rule over the entire world.”

Galt looked up in surprise. “I’m a businessman, Steven. Not a
dictator.”

“Is there really that much difference?”

“Yes. Yes, goddammit, there is. And until you realize that for
yourself, you will never be fit to run this company.”

“I never said I wanted to—”

“You don’t have to say it, you little shit. I can see it in your eyes!”

“Uncle, calm down.”

“Well, I won’t have any part of it. Do you hear me? I won’t let you
do it! I’m a businessman, and that is that.”

“I’m afraid it’s not your decision to make,” Steve said quietly.
“The board has already voted. They’ve fully endorsed the plan.”

“How dare you. How dare you go behind my back over this. We’re
not the government. We’re a private corporation!”

“We do everything, Uncle. We already are the government.”

Galt banged his fist. “Don’t say such things! This is a business,
not a goddamn bureaucracy!”

Steve shook his head, as Galt stabbed a finger at him angrily. “I
will bury you over this, do you hear me?”

“You really have no idea how much is stacked up against you,
Uncle.”

“Don’t you dare threaten me. I won’t let you. I won’t let you do
any of this. It’s not our place. It’s just not our place.”

“It doesn’t matter, Uncle. The decision’s been made.”

Galt shook with rage. “But I don’t want to rule the world!”

“Now, Uncle—”

Galt’s face went red. “I don’t want to rule the world!”

“Uncle, your heart—”

Galt slammed his fist into the table and shouted. “I don’t want to
rule the world! I—”

Galt’s face went white and he clutched his shoulder.

Steve watched silently as his uncle slid out of his seat and
disappeared behind his desk.