Maggie for Hire (7 page)

“KILLIAN!  I NEED SOME HELP!”

I was able to sweep them back with my rod.  I cursed myself for not buying one with anything stronger than a stunning spell.  This was like one of those kung fu movies, except I wasn’t Bruce Lee and I was going to be hard pressed to open up a can of whoopass.  If you don’t have anything pointy, vampires just keep coming.  Sure, I could knock one down and break a couple arms, but they’d just hop right back up, healed and whole.  If you could get over the whole soulless aspect of it all, it wasn’t a bad deal being a vampire.

And I could just tell they were biding their time, wearing me out so that when they finally came in for the kill, I’d be too tired to even fight.

“KILLIAN!”

“You nailed your stake through the vamp AND the ghoul and now it is stuck in the coffin,” he called up to me.

“Well, get it out!”

The vamp that rushed me looked familiar.

“WAIT!  You were the widow?”

She gave me a wicked little smile.

“This was a trap?  WHAT?” I sent her flying just out of spite.  “How the hell were you able to come out during the daylight?”

Another funeral observer laughed a spine tingling vampire laugh at me, “Wouldn’t you like to know, you spawn of Ulrich’s enemy.”

“How the hell do you know my uncle’s name?” I said, starting to panic.

“He decided that you deserved a little welcome home present.  He has always felt family is so important.”

I knew better to look a vamp dead in the eye, so I just looked at him dead in the bridge of the nose, “Are you telling me my uncle consorts with vampires?”

That asshole laughed again, “Consorts?  Oh my dear child, you really do have no idea what is going on.”

And then that bastard came in thinking he was ready for the kill.  I broke my stunning staff in two and caught the guy midflight like a Turkish shish kabob.

One stake down.  And I used the other to impale a kid who looked no older than fourteen.

“Sorry, undead kid.  Just think of all the acne and awkward first dates I’ve spared you.”

I tried to yank out the stake before the next one flew at me, but I was still pulling when she landed.  She looked like an evil corporate ex-cheerleader.  Perfect blonde hair coiffed just right.  All hairs fell right back into place every time she moved her head.

“I shall make this quick and painless for you.  How shameful you would wear garlic,” she whispered.

And then the silver shaft of my stake appeared right through her heart.

Killian kicked her away, grabbed me by the wrist and we sprinted to the car, five vampires in fast pursuit.

I clicked the fob as we ran and my Honda gave a friendly little chirp as the headlights flashed on.

We both leapt into the driver’s door.  I threw myself into the passenger’s side and pressed the “autolock” as Killian revved the engine and pealed out, leaving the vampires in a cloud of dust.

“There was so much wrong that just happened there,” I said.

The fear in Killian’s eyes showed me I wasn’t alone in realizing we were so fucked.

Chapter 14

We sat in a 50’s themed diner just off of Sunset.  I held my pathetic little glass of sweaty tap water to my swelling eye.

“How many laws of vampires did we just see ignored there?”

Killian didn’t lift his eyes from the menu, “I am feeling like a strawberry shake.”

I just folded up my arms and rested my head on the table, “I want out.”

Killian did not seem to be grasping what I was trying to say and replied, “What are you getting?  It is on me.”

I couldn’t believe this guy, “Peanut butter pie.  A la mode.”

“Good choice,” he said, waving the waitress over and placing our order.

As soon as she left, I hissed, “They were in a cemetery.”

Killian nodded, “Grave dirt and all.”

“They aren’t supposed to be on hallowed ground.”

“So somehow that church had been desecrated.  Could the ghoul have done it while he was the pastor?”

I thought about it a bit and then nodded, “Yah.  That could have been it.”

“So the vampires have found if they can get a monster to take over the body of a holy person, they can break down the defensive barrier.  It is not unheard of.”

“How about vampires being out in broad daylight?”

“It was not broad daylight.  It was dusk.”

“Killian, we followed that funeral since 6:00PM.  They were out.  They are not supposed to be able to be out in sun at all.”

Our food arrived and Killian tried to stall by sucking on his shake.

“Well?”

“I do not know.  We shall have to find out.”

“And what is this about them hanging out with my uncle?  Who IS Ulrich?  He is obviously more than what the fat man was saying.”

“Again, I do not know.”

“And do you want to know the worst part?” I almost shouted.

“Worst?”

“That ghoul is decomposing into slime in the middle of that grave meaning I don’t get my skip money and I’m not going back for him, meaning my rent is not getting paid this month.”

Killian laughed, “You shall be taken care of.”

“YOU ARE NOT GETTING ME TO OWE YOU ANY MORE FAVORS ELF.”

The entire diner stopped and looked at me.

I gulped, “I’m auditioning for a movie.  We’re just running lines.”

Normal conversation resumed and the waitress came over, “I’m an actress, too!  What are you auditioning for?  I think I would make a really great elf.  Was it in the breakdowns?”

I raised the glass to my eye, “I’m sorry.  I’m a stunt person.  I got bumped up to do a line.”

She seemed disappointed and just dropped the check.

I leaned forward and whispered, “Killian, this is not good.  We’re not safe if the vamps can come out during the day.”

“Listen, they did not attack.  They stretched things out and then waited until dark which means they must not have all their power.  We will go back tomorrow at noon and see what we can find.  Deal?”

I sighed, “Yah.  Deal.”

He opened up his moneybag and pulled out several gold coins.

I placed my hand on his, “Stop.  I’ve got it.”

“I told you it was my treat.”

“I’ll take it out of the per diem I’m about to start charging you.”

He gave me a sideways glance.

“You can’t go throwing gold around here.”

He looked down at his little pile of elf money, “I had forgotten that the currency is not the same as the Other Side.”

I patted his hand, “It’s okay, you’ll just have to save my life again, okay?”

He gave me a slow half smile, “You have yourself a deal.”

Chapter 15

Bed had never looked so good.  I crawled into the lacy chintz goodness and nestled into the 1000 thread count sheets.  I was reaching over to turn off the bedside lamp when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in?” I asked, hesitantly.  I’d learned long ago that anyone knocking at your door at 11:00 at night was there for a booty call or emergency call.  Sometimes both.  Never neither.

Mindy came in softly and padded over to my bed, sitting at the foot of it like when we were kids.

“How’d it go today?”

I knew this was not the reason why she had come into my room.  You don’t spend nine months in utero with a person without being able to read their tells.

“Melted my skip, which is gonna be helluva lot of paperwork, and staked a couple vampires.  Blah blah blah.  You?”

She shivered, “I hate what you do.”

Mindy had it rough.  During school, she had gone the super brains/ballerina/cheerleader route, I think, just to get some normalcy.  I hadn’t been really surprised when she had gone into finance.

“Me, too.  I wish I could have done anything else in the world besides this, but...”

She shrugged, “But Dad’s genes.”

“Yah,” I humorlessly laughed, “his damned genes.”

“Do you ever feel like he’s still with you?”

I nodded, “Yah.”

She got really quiet, “No, like, he is in the room with you.  You can smell him.  And you hear his footsteps like he’s right behind you.”

“You feeling okay?”

“No.  I... It’s just sometimes... it’s like I catch him out of the corner of my eye, but he’s not here.  He’s dead.”  She stopped and repeated, “He’s dead, right?”

I sat up, “Are you saying you have Mom’s gift?”

She waved her hands, “I don’t know.  I don’t know at all.  I mean, I must, because normal people don’t see...  Well, they don’t see dead people, right?”

I shrugged, “Some swear they do.”

She looked so small and scared as she said, “With your gifts... You’ve always been able to do stuff that I could never do, but I have always been so glad it wasn’t me.  I was so glad I wouldn’t have to deal with the Other Side my whole life.  I have a job, a husband.  I can’t go living in the Other Side.  I can’t bring Austin over there...”

I skootched over and gave her a great big hug and didn’t let go, “No one says that you do.  Mom lived her whole life on Earth.  Dad was the only reason...” I corrected myself, “His crazy brother was the only reason we had to live on the Other Side.  And last I checked, Austin didn’t have a crazy brother hunting him down.”

Mindy looked at me square in the eye, “But we have a crazy uncle.”

I suddenly felt very, very cold.

“You think you’re responsible for all this,” I stated, suddenly seeing the great big elephant she had hauled into the room.

“It makes sense, doesn’t it?  I start seeing dead people and you show up saying our long lost uncle has come out of the woodwork.”

“No, Mindy, it doesn’t.  It isn’t you.”

“Why not?”

“Because our uncle is a deranged psychopath who is running some sort of grift on the magical community and is now involved in something that is breaking down the barriers of our two worlds.  It isn’t you.”

“How can you be so sure that my gift waking up isn’t what started all this?”

I held her hand tightly, “I promise that you are not the start of all this.  And I also promise that I will keep you and Austin safe.  I didn’t spend my whole life kicking asses to let yours get into trouble.  As soon as this settles down, I’ll take you over to Mom, or I’ll bring her over, and once she finishes driving you crazy with all the pride she is about to bust out all over you, you can figure out what you’re supposed to do.”

“Maybe I’m going crazy.”

“Maybe Dad has something important to tell you.”

“Um... he’s dead.”

“I tell you what, next time you see him, you ask him what he wants.  See what he has to say.”

“I’m not going to start talking to empty rooms.”

I gathered her up in my arms like we were eight years old again and some dumb boy had made her cry on the playground, “No one will think that you’re stupid.  You don’t know if it’s real or not until you try.  So, try.  For me?”

She nodded and then hugged me tightly, “Be safe, sis.”

“You, too.  Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.  Don’t let the boogeyman bite.”

“Mindy, there is no boogeyman,” I said as I snuggled in to bed, “I hauled Carl in years ago.”

Chapter 16

The brownie had found us, evidently.  When I woke in the morning, all of my scattered clothes had been freshly laundered and folded tidily.  I grabbed my robe and stumbled down to the kitchen.  My sister was huddled in the breakfast nook with a baseball bat in her hand.

“Good morning!” I said, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

“WHAT THE FUCK???”

My sister didn’t swear.

“What’s got you so upset?”

“I came downstairs and breakfast was made and things were put away and the dishes were clean.  WHAT. THE. FUCK.”

“Sorry, I forgot to tell you.  We battled it out with a fat elf yesterday and won ourselves a brownie.  Not the chocolaty cake kind.”

“There is a brownie.  Here.  In my Earthly home?”

“Yep.”

“Oh.”  She started to unfold, “Well, that was very kind of him... to help...”

I gave her a wink, “Thought you might enjoy.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, you jerk?” she said, throwing a carefully folded napkin at my head and taking a plate over to the island to snag a bear claw from the pile of pastries.

“It completely slipped my mind.  He’s helping me find Ulrich.”

“Do you remember when we were kids?  We would have done anything for a brownie.”

“Don’t say I never got you nothing.”

“I think Christmas is covered,” she said, biting into the pastry.  “Oh god, this is so good.  I think he made it himself.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it.”

Killian came out, scratching his messy nest of hair and looking entirely too sexy for 8AM, “I see the brownie found us.”

“They tend to be good like that.”

Killian grabbed a piece of fruit from a bowl and bit into it, “I have missed nectar.”

“Here the brownie goes to all this trouble to brew up some coffee and get us some sugary goodness and you’re all excited about fruit?  Elf, you and I may not be on speaking terms.”

“You are not getting rid of me that easily,” he laughed, “I have far more annoying habits to repulse you with.”

“Great.  I can hardly wait.”

“So, what’s your plan for today?” asked my sister.

“I figure we’ll talk to the brownie, see if he has any good leads, investigate them, and try not to get killed.”

“Sounds like a great plan.  I shall be in the shower,” Killian said, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“He’s cute,” said my sister, watching him walk down the hall.

“Not that cute.”

“I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating grapes.”

I rolled my eyes.

Chapter 17

Before Killian and I could finish buckling our seatbelts, Pipistrelle opened the door and popped into the backseat.  I focused the rearview mirror so that I could see him better, “Thanks for breakfast, Pipistrelle.  Any good news?”

“Indeed!  Your uncle is here in the city of Angels,” he replied.

“We knew that.”

“I have no further information,” he stated in his chirpy little voice.

I turned to Killian, “Really?  This is what the Fat Man thought would help us?”