Luke (A Redemption Romance #1) (4 page)

I noticed as he walked away that he was wearing a pair of perfectly fitting dress pants and a white undershirt that hugged his strong physique. I shook my head to rid myself of the images in my head and moved into the shower. The last thing I needed was to get turned on right now. That was certainly not appropriate today.

I emerged from my room just before nine o’clock, dressed in a light gray pencil skirt and white silk blouse. My black stilettos dangled from my fingers. Luke let out a low whistle as I walked into the kitchen. “Nice, you look beautiful as always Aurora.”

I felt my cheeks flush at his compliment. He had grown more flirtatious with me over the past several months, but I’d never thought much about it. I was certain that this was his usual behavior. I hadn’t seen him with many, so I couldn’t be sure. The few he’d brought around over the years were there such a short period of time that I never got a good read on his normal behavior with women.

We ate breakfast in silence, only broken by small talk. I tried again to let him know that I was okay, but Luke insisted that he was going with me. Being thankful for the company, I didn’t argue. But instead of my mind solely focusing on my brother’s funeral, I was bombarded with thoughts of Luke.

Luke and I sat across from each other at a small table in my favorite Mexican restaurant. We’d finished the seemingly endless details with the mortuary and I was exhausted. I hadn’t done anything physical today, only sat and talked, made plans and discussed details, but the emotional strain of it all exhausted me. I was working hard to keep myself in check so that Luke wouldn’t worry anymore about me. I was determined to be strong.

I ordered my favorite, shrimp fajitas with extra guacamole. Luke ordered two steak burritos smothered in lettuce and cheese, a diet for me, a Coke for him. Once the server had moved on, he reached across, grabbed my hand and held it between his. I was so taken aback by this action; that I just stared at our hands connected together.

Staring up at Luke, his chiseled jaw with the slightest hint of stubble, and amazing hazel eyes gazed back at me. His brown hair was slightly over-long, the ends curling at the top of his collared shirt. This man, so handsome and solid had been my rock. I studied him for a long time, until he spoke. “You were amazing today, Rory, you held up so well. I was really proud of you.”

His finger had started to move back and forth over my hand, I could feel the heat from his touch seeping into me. I had no one, except for Luke. Yes, of course I had other friends, and they were wonderful, but Luke stood in a class all his own.

“Thanks, I appreciate you being with me. This is really hard, but I’m not going to break. I can’t say I understand what Nolan was going through or what was running through in his mind when he did what he did, but I’m going to live by the strength he showed me, before that last deployment. My brother used to be the strongest man I know; he was loyal, honest and kind. There wasn’t one time that he didn’t stand up for me, or for anyone else weaker than him.” I took a minute, staring off toward the back hallway of the restaurant.

I wanted to pick my next words carefully. “The thing is, he was injured; Dylan died saving him. That is a tragedy in itself, but then Nolan came home a different man. He snapped at me a lot, at mom too, he wasn’t the same man he had been. He let that guilt eat at him and that makes the tragedy even worse, because he wasn’t able to move past it. He never was able to appreciate Dylan’s sacrifice and go on with his life, the life Dylan would have wanted him to have.”

Luke’s hand squeezed mine reassuringly and my eyes trained on him again, when I continued. “He should have come home, gotten help, gone through rehab for his leg and had a full life. Guilt killed him Luke, it killed him. I’m not going to do that, I’m going to remember him as the strong man that he was before. I love my brother for everything he ever was, but I’m going to live like he would have wanted me to.”

My eyes were tearing up, but I let my emotion show. I wanted him to see that I was strong enough to cry but still hold myself together. My heart was truly broken for my brother. The more I thought about it, the more I knew he must have had such terrible thoughts going through his mind. I wondered if he was afraid to die and if he had second thoughts about committing suicide. I wondered if he regretted the decision in the split second before it had been too late.

Luke pulled my hand up to his mouth and gave the knuckles a light kiss and brought our joined hands back to rest on the table. “I know you’re not going to break, Rory. I have so much faith in you. Is that what you think? That I’m spending this time with you, because I feel guilty for Nolan’s death? I regret it, wish I could have done something, but I know you’re right, if he was determined, even if I’d been able to stop him this time, he would have found a way.”

Instead of a verbal response to his question, I just nodded. My tears had subsided but I wanted to know why he was spending so much time with me. He was acting differently with me and I was confused.

“I’m with you because I want to be. I want to support you, to be there when you need me, Rory. But I need you too. I need you right now. You’ve been just as much support for me as I’ve been for you. It’s more than that for me though; I hope it is for you too. It has been for a long time.” His smile grew wicked as he continued. “Besides, I like spending time with you. I
really
like spending time with you, just you.”

My eyebrows rose in surprise; I loved being with Luke, and knew that he genuinely liked me as a friend or at least as the sister of his best friend. Luke had taken to touching me more often over the past year or so. When we were together, always with Nolan around, he would press his hand to the small of my back when we were walking. He would touch my cheek or forearm when he talked to me. His hugs had grown longer too, and he’d added in a cheek kiss to almost everyone. I’d chalked it up to his playful nature, just him being friendly since I’d long ago given up on any hope of more with him.

Several years ago, we were all home over winter break, I was back from UT during the semester break. Both Nolan and Luke were here on leave. We’d all attended a New Year’s Eve party together and at midnight, Luke had kissed me. At first it was just a simple touch of our lips; but it quickly moved to something much more passionate. Being jostled from behind by other party goers had broken us apart.

The guys went back to base a few days later and no one had ever mentioned the kiss again. It had been the best kiss of my life, but I’d let it go, thinking that it hadn’t meant anything to him. I wasn’t sure, but I thought now that maybe I’d been wrong about that.

I decided to just be honest and said “I like spending time with you too.”

“I’m glad to hear that. This is a shitty time to get close to you, but I want to get to know you better, and for you to really get to know me.”

“Okay, I’d like that. I don’t think I’m ready for…”

“Rory, stop. I’m not trying to take this
there
so fast, we’ll take it slow. But you have to know, that my intention is to eventually get you into my bed.”

My smile was shy when I looked back at our hands, fingers now entwined on top of the table. I really wasn’t in the emotional place to make any decisions about dating, or whatever he was suggesting, but this was Luke. I’d known him almost my entire life. Besides, getting to know each other on a more personal level didn’t mean dating.

“Okay, I appreciate your honesty, but is this just a one-time thing?”

“Fuck no!” His outburst was immediate and fierce. Several patrons from around the restaurant turned to stare at us, so I ducked my head in embarrassment.

He lifted my chin with his finger and stared deep into my eyes. “I would never disrespect you that way. You have to know Rory; I’ve wanted you for years. With everything that’s been going on in our lives, it never seemed like the right time to approach. Now isn’t a good time either, but I’m realizing how important it is to go for what I want. You are what I want. Not for a night, fuck, not even for a month. I can’t say what will happen in the future, but I haven’t ever lost my desire for you. It’s only grown stronger over the years. I imagine that it always will.” My smile grew wide with his words, I felt reassured and so much more confident now.

“That night we kissed, all I wanted to do was to throw you over my shoulder, take you back to my cave and keep you there; but I couldn’t do that, it wasn’t the time. I was getting ready to be deployed again and you were still in school.” He continued, explaining something I’d always wondered about. Was he reading my mind?

We finished our meals in relative silence, only broken occasionally by benign questions. We shared Cheshire cat smiles and went about the rest of the day together.

Stopping at the florist, I ordered the flowers I wanted for the service, then to a local restaurant to ask about catering the meal after. Nolan had a lot of friends and I knew that we wouldn’t be able to fit everyone who wanted to attend the reception there, so Luke spoke with one of his friends at McKinney PD, they made arrangements for us to use the association’s banquet room and kitchen that day.

By the time we made it home, I was excited about what may happen in the future, it was only slightly diminished by the weight of pain left from a day planning the final services for my only brother. What I didn’t expect was that within twenty minutes of walking through the front door, my house would be full of friends. We spent the evening talking, playing cards, drinking beer and eating the pizza that Reed had ordered. Amber and Hope both came over too, which was good, so I wasn’t the only woman in the group. I noticed several times how Jake’s eyes followed Hope. Since they’d met a couple of years ago, I’d wondered if there was a real attraction between them. I could see it clearly now, at least from Jake’s side. Hope was closed off with men, she would be a hard one if he ever tried anything with her.

Jake was better tonight, he seemed a lot more present than he had yesterday. He laughed and joked with the other guys and even teased me. Jake was hot, definitely; tall and oh-so muscular, shaggy blonde hair with amazing shine and the lightest blue eyes I’d ever seen, he looked sweet, but was so rough around the edges, I didn’t know if Hope’s gentle nature would be overpowered by a man like him.

Hope was distant, quiet and reflective. She talked with everyone, interacted casually, but I sensed her reserve. Obviously, like everyone, she was sad about Nolan, but there seemed to be more to it. I wanted to ask her about it, but frequently she took on the pain of her clients and wasn’t able to separate herself from her job. That kind of pain, I couldn’t help her with, she couldn’t talk to me about it, but I still wanted to be a support to her in any way that I could. Sometimes the difficulties of her own past would come to light when she had an especially heart-wrenching client. Since she and Nolan had been such close friends these past ten years, I knew his loss was weighing on her.

Luke had been here with me for two nights, would he want to stay again? I wasn’t even close to ready to move things along physically, and I hoped that he didn’t have that in mind. Instead, he locked the front door behind everyone as they left and went to let the dogs out back. My yard was plenty big for them to run around and play, but the summer had been so hot this year, I’d left Sadie inside anytime I was gone, though I usually just took her with me when I could. She even went to my store with me, having her own space behind the counter and in my office in the back. My customers loved her and would often spend extra time in the store just playing with her.

He pulled another beer from the fridge and walked back to the guest bedroom. I didn’t know where he’d gotten the clothes he had on, or any of the others; he hadn’t left my side once. As far as I’d known, he only had a duffle bag with one change of clothes in it and some personal items. Maybe he was packing to go home. I wondered if he had to work tonight. It was late, but he was on some special team and they often worked different hours, depending what was going on.

Now that we were alone in the house, I gave into the fatigue, kicked off my shoes and sat on the couch. My head flopped back on the back and my eyes closed. After several minutes, I felt the couch depress and opened my eyes to see Luke sitting next to me.

He was looking at my hair that was draped over the back of the couch. I shifted to face him more directly with my head still leaning back in a very relaxed pose. He lifted his hand and stroked my long red hair reverently.

Luke cleared his throat and said: “I love your hair Aurora; it’s so beautiful.” He was transfixed, so I was able to study his face unobserved for several moments.

The hard angle of his jaw, high cheek bones, straight nose, full dark pink lips all attractive on their own, but put together it made for an amazing package. His hazel eyes looked light brown from afar, but up close, I could see specks of green and lines of gold, rimmed in a darker brown line around the outside of his iris. His jaw and cheeks were covered by light stubble, brows thick, but not bushy, tanned skin, that of a man who worked outside. His hair was dark brown and longer than I’d seen in years, with lighter strands throughout. Women would pay a lot of money for highlights like that, but I knew that Luke’s were from his hours working the streets of Dallas and his off time. He was always outside, he loved it.

His eyes shifted down to meet mine, but his hand continued to stroke. Without breaking eye contact he spoke. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

My heart rate increased at his words, the softness of his tone and the sweetness of the strokes through my hair. “Kiss me then,” I replied breathlessly. He looked into my eyes so long, I didn’t know if he’d heard me, but after a while, a smirk crossed his beautiful lips, he moved in, coming in so close that the tips of our noses touched.

“I think I will,” he said just before my eyes closed, and he did. The kiss was much like the man, strong, powerful, sweet and giving. Feeling the swipe of his tongue between my lips, I opened and allowed him entry. As soon as he felt my acceptance, his entire body moved, he angled over me, moving his hand from my hair to cup the back of my head and he controlled the kiss. The other hand encircled my waist and pulled me tight into him. We were chest to chest. He didn’t grope, didn’t explore beyond my mouth, but it was so amazing; I could feel the zing of excitement in my core. My hands wrapped around Luke’s neck, my fingers curled into his hair, feeling the softness of it, enjoying the moan he let escape.

We kissed for several minutes there on my couch. Finally, Luke pulled back, kissed the tip of my nose playfully and sat back. “I didn’t mean to do that, well, not that much, at least.” His grin was cocky; he seemed somehow smug and pleased with himself.