Loving Kate (Acceptance #3) (37 page)

It worked, too. I saw the nasty looks he was giving me and I
know
he wanted to say something about it but since he was all wrapped up in Riley, he couldn’t. After that, he was always glaring at me and trying to keep Kate away from me. Poor Kate had no clue what was going on and I figured that was best. Matthews and I could have our war and she wouldn’t have to be in the middle. Ultimately, she was in the middle anyway.

The time we played Spin the Bottle at Kate’s birthday party was another way I tried to get under his skin. I’ll admit he played the game well; I never stood a chance once he teamed up with Jess. After Jess and I left them alone, we went our separate ways in the hall. I knew I eventually wanted Kate and kissing her best friend would crush any chances I had of that happening. Jess bounced down the stairs while I pretended to use the restroom. When I walked back to Kate’s room, I saw her and Mike kissing and I knew I was going to have to wait for my chance with her.

Imagine my surprise when the very next weekend I saw Mike with his tongue down Riley’s throat. I wasn’t about to let my girl get played like that. I left Matthews with his flavor of the week and went and told Kate. I’ll admit, looking back, that was a really shitty thing to do but back then I just thought I was protecting her. Turned out she already knew, and that might have been the first time I realized Kate was wise beyond her years. Kate explained all about how she and Matthews decided they were too young to be involved if they wanted something bigger between them later. I realized how screwed I really was. If Kate wasn’t mad about Riley, she was going to wait for him forever. I felt bad for her but I was pissed off for myself and determined to make Matthews feel it.

I tried to cool down for a while but it didn’t work; I was still really pissed off. Not because Kate was waiting for Mike, but because Mike seemed all too happy letting Kate wait while he was having fun. Looking back on it now, they were just kids and Kate wasn’t ready. I see that
now
but I bet Mike was able to see it then. Even though I was one of her best friends, he was hands down her
best
friend and knew her better than anyone.

Finally, the summer after eighth grade, I got tired of waiting for them to get together and made my move. We were at the movies and she let me hold her hand. When we got inside, I made sure we were in the last row against the wall. I was so nervous. Finally, I got the courage to lean over and kiss her. At first we were just kissing, but as soon as she opened her sweet little mouth to me I accepted the invitation. My heart was racing and her hand quickly reached around the back of my neck. Then, just as suddenly as it started, she pulled back and I knew she was still stuck on him.

Once the movie was over, she apologized to me over and over but I assured her it was fine and I understood. And I did; Kate had loved Mike since before they even knew what love meant. But it didn’t mean I liked it and I wasn’t going to make Mike’s life hell. So I continued to go out of my way every chance I could when he was around to make him jealous. I hugged her, spun her around, took her places, tried to out gift him on special occasions, whatever I could.

One day, though, he took things
way
too far.

We were waiting outside of Katherine’s house for her and Jessica to get back from the mall. It was a few weeks after they had ‘officially’ become a couple. I could tell from the looks he kept giving me he was pissed about something and I’d had enough of his shit.

“What, Matthews? Just spit it out and stop with the fucking glares. You obviously have something to say so just spit it out. What are you pissed off about now?”

“Fine. What the hell are you doing here?”

That’s it? That’s all he’s got?

“I’m waiting for Katherine to get back from the mall with Jessica. What are you doing here?” I know we have plans and she knows we don’t like each other. Katherine would never invite Mike and me at the same time unless it was a special occasion.

“I’m her boyfriend, so I can be here whenever I want,” he said, puffing his chest out as if his scrawny little ass could take me.

“Whatever. We have plans, so why don’t you just go home and call her later? Just because you’re her boyfriend doesn’t make you the ruler of her kingdom. She is allowed to hang out with her other friends.”

“Look, Marc, I don’t know why you can’t take a hint but Katherine is only your friend because you guys both lost your moms. If you didn’t keep using that to your advantage she wouldn’t even be friends with you.”

Hell no, he did not just go there. I jumped up and poked him in that puffed out chest of his with my finger but I really wanted to knock his ass out.

“Listen, fuckwad, I was her friend first. You came along a few months later. So if anyone has rights to her friendship it’s me. You just can’t stand the fact that I kissed her.”

He pushed me and his face got really red. “No, I can’t stand the fact that you’re using her, thinking you’re going to get to fuck her like you told your friends. She’s not like those skanks you hang around with at school.”

His rant was almost comical, especially with that red face. He hasn’t hit me yet because he knows he won’t win. When I can finally speak without cracking up, I do it with confidence. “Have no doubt in your mind, Matthews, when you least expect it I’m going to fuck the hell out of her. I’m going to fuck her so good that she’ll never go back to you.”

I knew as the words flew out of my mouth he was going to hit me and I deserved it. Not that I didn’t want to be with Katherine someday, because I did, but she didn’t deserve to be disrespected at all. Matthews just brought out the worse in me. As his fist connected with my jaw and my head flung back, he screamed at me. “You’ll never get the chance to fuck her because she’s going to be my wife, asshole. Don’t you ever fucking talk about her like that again or I will tell her what a ginormous dick you really are!”

Damn, he hits harder than I could have ever imagined. Maryanne pulled up with the girls as I was wiping away the blood from my mouth.

We ended up telling them Mike accidentally nailed me with a baseball; he didn’t want them to know what happened any more than I did.

After that day, I heard Mike make the dead mom comment a few times too many. Not actually from him but through mutual friends. I’m not sure if it was an easy way for him to justify Kate spending time with me to his friends or what but I’d finally had enough.

A girl I was seeing my junior or senior year of high school went to the same gym Matthews did. I was there with her one day and saw him and expressed my dislike for him. For one reason or another she didn’t like him and asked me if I wanted to play a joke on him. This girl was older and definitely more sexually experienced than I was at the time. She made some crude comments about us fucking and my dick size right in front of Matthews. I knew he heard and I was content with that.

She suggested taking it a bit further. I knew she was kinky because she liked to role play. That wasn’t something I really knew at seventeen. But she was all too happy to teach me. Her plan was for us to have sex in the shower around the time Mike would walk in. She had her friend text her when he was coming so we could put the plan into action. As I came, I called out Kate’s name and said some other things I don’t really remember now. Her friend said he came running out with his hand over his mouth like he was going to throw up.

That was great except I felt like I was going to, too. I didn’t mind messing with this girl and calling her other names, but to bring Kate into it felt sacrilegious somehow. I still feel almost dirty thinking about doing that to Kate. After that, Matthews never looked at me again with anything other than hatred in his eyes and he did whatever he could to keep Kate away from me. Honestly, he did the right thing because if it would have been reversed I would have done the same. I’m not sure why I went along with the plan other than the girl was kinky as fuck and I was being led by my dick.

I hated what I did and I still do. I’m not sure why he never told Kate other than they broke up a few months later and he just never got around to it. Since he was a non-issue, I never confessed but now I
need
to confess. I know Kate and I know she’ll forgive me, it just might take some time. I’ll call her as soon as I get back into town.

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Oh. My. God,
I thought as Mr. Sex-on-legs leaned in and nibbled on my bottom lip like we were lovers. Though we've talked for weeks through a messaging service on an online dating site, tonight was the first time we had met in person, and I was sure it would be the last. Yes, the last. This decision wasn't made because Alex was boring or bad looking—he was far from either. I decided this because of the rules I’d set in place to ensure that there would be no sort of relationship in my future.

With a raspy voice full of sex appeal, he said all the right things to progress the inevitable, and he was confident about it. Whether what he said was truth or lies, I didn't care. My intentions were purely physical, not to learn every detail about him or fall in love. That wasn't possible anyway. Love was an emotion that took time, an investment, and I didn't believe in love at first sight. It always seemed like a silly concept to me. Love is a complicated emotion within itself. Add the first-sight bullshit to love, and I become completely lost on the subject.

As I sat there listening to Alex talk in depth about architectural design, a thought crossed my mind: I didn't know if Alex was actually his real name or not, and if it wasn't, then the playing field was even—because I didn't give him mine. There were rules to the game of potential one-night stands in the Internet dating world, rules that I followed religiously. I had a reputation to uphold, and there were too many stalkers and psychos around.

First rule: Never give your real name.

Second rule: Use the same fake name, so you won't forget who you are.

Instead of being Roxane VanBuren, the President of VanBuren Investments, tonight I was Katie, the girl who had one goal in mind. The girl who refused to talk about where she worked, and who also happened to love tequila and dirty martinis. Katie's favorite place to meet men she chatted with on the Internet was the Hilton Hotel Bar downtown. The location ensured there wouldn't be far to go if the night progressed into something else.

Third rule: Never bring men home.

It didn't take long for him to confirm that the night would be full of sex. A few drinks smothered with innuendoes, and we couldn't keep our hands and lips off of one another. After the last-minute booking of a room and the swipe of his credit card, we were stumbling through the hotel between kisses. Once inside the room, every single piece of clothing on our bodies disappeared from pure desire.

I ran my fingers through his blond hair as he pulled me closer to his strong body. Teeth grazed my neck, then he laid me down on the bed. Gently, his lips moved over my breasts. He flicked and nibbled on my nipple, then licked up my chest. I laughed because no one had ever licked from my belly button to my mouth before. No, definitely not.

We were ravenous for each other, and I wanted him to devour me with his tender touch and generous mouth. Before we went any further, Alex stood long enough for me to admire him. Muscles rippled down his stomach and his ass. Then he caught me staring and lifted an eyebrow as he quickly rolled a condom over his dick. Well, it was the best muscle on his body.