Loving Kate (Acceptance #3) (36 page)

The most important thing I hope for you is the ability to forgive. Forgiveness comes from the deepest part of your heart. Not many people intentionally set out doing something they will need forgiveness for… it just happens. That’s why they’re called mistakes and truly the best thing that can come from a mistake is learning from it and being forgiven for it. Being forgiving helps you more than it helps them. Harboring anger and resentment isn’t healthy. You’re not here to judge others, so don’t. Offer your forgiveness immediately and let it go.

I always envisioned a beautiful life for you and I hope with all my heart that vision comes true. Love with all your heart and always love enough for you both. Don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t love you the way you love them. You’ve always had a heart bigger than anyone I’ve ever known. Let that love shine across your family and friends. Never forget how much I love you, Katherine, because I’ll never stop…I love you bigger than the sky.

Always.

Love,

Mom

My phone rings just as my alarm goes off and I hope against hope it’s Daniel calling.

It’s Marc.

It’s been a week since he left and my life turned upside down.

“Hello,” I answer groggily.

“Hey, baby girl, did I wake you up?” He sounds bright-eyed and cheery.

“No, my alarm just went off. Are you home?” We haven’t spoken since that night and I’m kind of scared where this conversation may take us.

“No, I’m in San Francisco now, looking into some potential real estate for a new club. We got back from Bali last night. I’ve been meaning to call you but I thought you might need some time.”

Time—Marc-speak for he needed a break.

“I miss you, when are you coming back home?” And I
do
miss him; I miss my friend.

“Next week sometime, so… have you told him yet?”

“Told who what?”

Yeah, that’s it, Kate, play dumb to the guy who knows you like the back of his hand.

“Come on, Kate, you know what I mean. Have you told Daniel you are head over heels in love with his ass yet?”

He knew.

He said he did but I wasn’t sure.

“Things are complicated. He knows about us and he has a baby now. Vanessa’s baby was his not Mike’s.”

I hear him exhale loudly and can just picture the look on his face right now.

“That
is
complicated, alright. Do you care that the baby is his? I mean, does it affect your feelings for him at all?”

All the emotions I’ve been trying to hold back are bubbling to the surface.

“I wish you were here. This would be a much better talk in person. But to answer your question, no, Lucas being Daniel’s in no way affects my feelings for him. I’ll admit it’s a little hard to wrap my head around, but I knew it was coming. Or that at least it was a possibility.”

There’s dead air between us for a minute before he continues.

“Kate, about that night, I’m sorry. I feel like I took advantage of you,” he says sadly.

What?

“Marc, you can’t take advantage of the willing and I was
more
than willing. We were incredible and intense and so passionately raw. I will
never
, not
ever,
regret what we did. Do you?”

Please don’t say yes.

“No, baby girl, I don’t regret a minute of it. My only regret is we can’t do it again,” he says with a laugh.

“I got your message the next morning. I’m sorry, Marc, I never knew you were in love with me. I love you so much but not the same way,” I tell him, wiping away the tear falling from my eye.

“Kate, it’s okay. I love you, too, and I will cherish our night together forever. But like I told you before, I’m good with it just being sex. I was drunk, too, and felt like I needed to tell you all that. It was something I wanted you to know but not something I wanted to dwell on. That’s why I left it as a message. But we need to leave it in the past.”

He’s such a great guy; I almost wish I was in love with him. Maybe things would be easier.

“So we’re going to be okay?” The hesitant tone in my voice lingers in the air.

“Baby girl, we’re fine, we’re
always
going to be fine. I want you to be happy and you know I’m not ready to settle down. My eyes wander too much for me to be faithful to anyone for too long. It’s just the way I’m made.”

“You keep telling yourself that, but one of these days a girl is going to come along and she’s going to make you feel things you never knew existed. I can’t wait to see your whole world turn upside down for her.”

He laughs but it’s awkward.

“Speaking of turning worlds upside down, I have a confession to make. I wasn’t too worried about it before, but now that Matthews is back in the picture I think I should finally tell you why Mike hates me so much.”

All these years I’ve wondered what the hell happened between them. Now I’m going to finally get some answers.

“Just remember I love you and I was a stupid kid, we
all
were.”

Uh-oh this is going to be bad.

“Okay, I’m ready, tell me the story.”

It takes about thirty minutes for him to come clean about everything. I’ll admit there were things that really pissed me off and a few things that made me laugh. But at least now I know.

“Kate, are you still there? Do you hate me?” He’s really worried.

“Relax, Marc, I could never hate you. I’m not happy with some of the things you did, but I can kind of understand why you did them. It sounds to me like you gave as good as you got and Mike isn’t innocent in all of this, either.”

He exhales loudly on the other end of the phone. “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.”

“We kind of thought you and Mike got in a fight that day. There wasn’t a baseball in sight. It’s nice to know we weren’t crazy.”
Seriously, we looked everywhere for a ball that day
.

He’s laughing and really does sound genuinely happy. I’m sure this has been bothering him for a while.

“You know you have to come clean to Mike, though, don’t you? He’s a good guy and he’s changed. I don’t think he’ll hold it over your head or anything. Not now.”

“Yeah, I know. Jack has made it clear this is something that needs to end. He doesn’t want any more scenes at the club.”

I fake a shocked gasp. “What? You mean Jack doesn’t want any more scenes at The Scene? Isn’t that bad for business?”

“Ha ha, very funny, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know. And for the record, if there’s anything I’m mad about it’s that you’re part owner of a fucking sex club and never told me!” I wonder when we get past all of this if he’ll rent Daniel and me a room for a night. We could have some serious fun in that sex swing.

“I’m sorry about that, but like I told you that night, I couldn’t because of my contract. If it makes you feel any better, I really wanted to,” he says sincerely.

“I forgive you. I’m just happy you have something that makes you happy. I know you enjoy the gym but you’ve always wanted something more. I’m glad to see your dreams are coming true.”

“They are, and I
am
happy. I’ll be happier when you get your man back.” There’s a pause and then he continues, “You know, Kate, I really want our friendship to stay the same. I accepted a long time ago you weren’t the girl for me. If it’s meant to be, she’ll come along. But I did have fun letting you cougarize my ass,” he says with a laugh, and I blush, remembering
exactly
what he did to
my
ass.

“I think we had this sexual tension lingering for a long time. We both know it was bound to happen. It did and now we can move on. If anything, I hope it makes our friendship stronger because we are
so much more
than sex.”

“I absolutely agree. I’ve got to go but I’ll see you soon, baby girl. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Marc. Call me when you get home.”

After we hang up, relief washes over me. We’re going to be fine.

Jack pulls the car up to the curb and I throw my bag in the back and hop in. After last night, I’m happy to be getting away for a few weeks. Hopefully, while we’re gone, Kate will sort herself out and finally tell those two which one owns her heart.

“You look like shit,” Jack says as he pulls away from the curb.

“I’m sure I do. It was a long night,” I reply with a yawn.

“Yeah, well, I took care of Matthews and his friends but he still fucking hates your ass.” That makes me laugh. I think Mike is
always
going to hate me. Not that I don’t egg him on, because I do and I always have, but he’s the one who started it so he deserves it. I know Kate loves him but he was such a little bitch when we were kids.

“Someday I’ll tell him what I did and maybe he won’t hate me as much. But since I don’t really like him, I just don’t feel the need to go out of my way to ease his pain.”

Jack ponders my words for a few minutes before responding. “You know, now that you’re older and he really has nothing to lose, he might just tell Kate what a pervy creep you are. You might want to think about explaining what you did to him and why before she loses her shit on you. She’s your best friend. The last thing you want is for her to be angry with you.”

This isn’t anything I haven’t told myself many times before, but he’s right. Now that Mike is back, I probably should be a little concerned about it now. When he was out of the picture it was a non-issue, and when they were together he didn’t dare tell her and risk losing her. But now…he doesn’t have anything to lose but he’s got everything to gain.

Fuck.

Once we board Jack’s private jet, he heads to the small bedroom in the back to get some sleep. Jack needs this trip. The club is his life and he stays up almost all night to ensure things run smoothly for the guests once the club shuts down. I wish he’d finally pick a chick and utilize one of the rooms instead; the boy is wound too tight.

After the plane is in the air, I recline my chair and think back to see if I even remember how my battle with Matthews got started. If I’m going to come clean to Kate, I’ve got to remember the details. The girl has a memory like no other and she’s going to want to know everything. I’m sifting through the memories in my mind as if they are photos I’m holding in my hand. I remember meeting Katie Grace for the first time and how euphoric I was that we were on the same gymnastics training team. She was shy but the smile she graced me with when I started talking to her made me even happier. I’m not even sure why…we couldn’t have been older than six or seven.

Over the years, our moms became good friends. They would chat during practice and at least once a week we would go out for frozen yogurt or dinner. When my mom got sick, Kate’s mom spent a lot time with her and she would usually drive me home from practice while my dad was still at work. After my mom died, Lila always picked me up after school and took me to practice, too. Then a few months later, when she died, my dad and Kate’s dad got us a driver to take us back and forth to our sessions. By then, I was on the boys’ team and she was on the girls’ team but the practices were at the same time. Even all the way back then Kate loved Mike. Their relationship was inevitable and I was admittedly jealous.

I’m not exactly sure when I started thinking I had fallen in love with Kate, maybe not until Matthews dumped her and left her high and dry. But I’d always had feelings for her going all the way back to that first day. Matthews and I hated each other as far back as eighth grade. I know that for sure because that’s when I kissed Kate for the first time. Right after that, the same night if I remember correctly, Matthews asked her to be his girlfriend and successfully crushed my teenage soul.

That’s it. Now I remember exactly what started it all. It wasn’t long after I saw Matthews hugging Riley. Riley was my friend Josh’s sister and she was
in love
with Mike. When I saw them together, I made a really crude comment about how I was going to fuck Kate and make her mine. I think I was twelve at the time. I knew about sex but not enough to make that kind of comment.  Of course, now I know I shouldn’t have used my friend as a way to piss him off but at the time I was angry that Kate liked him and he was leading her on…Riley, too. I was just acting like a badass and I wanted to get under his skin.