Loving Kate (Acceptance #3) (2 page)

The utterly shocked expression replacing the sadness on her face would make me laugh any other day, but not today—not while we’re saying goodbye.

“Mike…I haven’t…”

I place my index finger over her lips to stop her from speaking. “Enough, Katie Grace. We both know you’ve already made your choice. I’ve known it for weeks. I’ve just been hoping against hope I was wrong, and waiting for you to admit it, all at the same time. I’ve known you two thirds of my life and even though I’ve missed the last few years, I can still read you like a book. You’re in love with him and he’s in love with you.”

She shakes her head “He isn’t, Mike. He doesn’t love me, not after what I did with Marc.”

“People don’t just fall out of love, Kate,
especially
not out of love with you. Daniel loves you, and once he’s done being hurt and angry he’ll come around. In the meantime, don’t go falling back into bed with any other men.” I say it with a chuckle which earns me a small smile from her.

“Not even you?” she asks timidly, but the question
is
a valid one. This is our thing and it’s
always
been our thing, since we were seven years old. After lacing our fingers together, I pull her hand to my mouth and place a soft kiss against her warm skin.

“Not even me, Kate. Daniel is the
only
man who should ever be in your bed. I’ll always be here for you, until the last breath I take. You’re my soul mate, remember? We’re just soul mates of the friend kind this time around. Next time, though, it’ll be me and you again, I know it.”

Tears fall from both of our eyes as we lay in silence, grasping onto each other and fully absorbing what this means for us.

“Mike, I don’t want to lose you…I can’t lose you again. I…I need you so much.”

As she chokes out the words, her body is racked with gut wrenching sobs. My tears fall faster but I’ll be damned if we’re going to lay here in misery all day.

Cupping her chin in my hand, I pull her head up so my eyes meet hers. My stomach clenches and I feel that sensation of needing to throw up, but I manage to push it down and fight it off.

“There will
never
, and I mean
not ever
, be a time I won’t be here for you, Kate. You are my best friend, my first love, and the mother of my daughter. We are bound together by life and our story is beautiful and will continue to be.
Anything
you need, whenever you need it, just ask and it’s yours. You’ve grown into an amazing woman and you are
in
love with the most amazing man I know.”

She sobs again but nods her head.

“There’s happiness in that, Kate. I’m happy for you and Daniel. If you aren’t going to be with me there is not a soul on earth I would want you with other than him. But you’ve moved on, Kate, and I have to do the same. I’ll be here for you always, but not like this again, not in your bed, not while holding you in my arms and wishing my lips were pressed against yours, I can’t. It’s just not fair to me…or to you and Daniel.”

Kate wraps her arm behind my head as she nods her understanding, pulling me to her. She’s biting her lower lip in contemplation but quickly releases it and places her lips against mine. The kiss lasts longer than it should. It’s not the kiss of lovers, but it’s definitely
beyond
the kiss of friends. It’s a kiss goodbye. 

Three hours later finds me sitting in a booth at Misty’s diner. Kate’s supposed to meet me here soon so we can go and see how Vanessa, Lucas, and Daniel are doing today. While I wait for her to get here, I’m struggling to make sense of my emotions—wondering how I really feel about all that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours. The only way to describe it is like a post-funeral feeling. I knew it was coming and now that it’s over I have to accept my new reality and move on. I feel peaceful, and that’s something I didn’t think I could ever feel without Kate. Maybe it’s because I haven’t actually lost
her
, just our intimacy. We’ve always been, and will always be, best friends.

“I’m starting to think you’re a glutton for punishment. The food in this place isn’t
that
good.” Misty greets me with sparkling eyes and a beautiful smile. How could I have forgotten how adorable she is? Petite with hazel eyes and curly blonde hair, and I swear she always smells like cotton candy. The best thing about Misty has always been her attitude. Even now, when she should
hate
me, she continues to greet me with a smile. She’s a lot like Kate—strong, sweet, and forgiving. It’s why we hit it off so well in the first place.

“Maybe not…but there’s something about this one waitress…” I love watching the blush creep up her neck and across her beautiful face.

“Hmm, is that a fact? Because I’m pretty sure there was a time when she was so ignored she gave up all together.” Her tone is playful, but I know how much I hurt her.

“I know and I’m sorry. Would you want to let me take you out? I’d really like the chance to explain things to you.” My heart is hammering in my chest and I sound like a complete idiot choking over the lump in my throat, but I want to make things right with Misty.

“Out as in on a date?” she squeaks out adorably.

Do I want this to be a date? Am I ready to date someone yet? 

“How about a friend date? I’ve missed you, Misty, but I wasn’t very nice to you and I’d like to make amends for that before we think about a real date.”

Slowly, a smile spreads across her face. “I’d like that… a lot. What about Kate, though? And, oh my God, what about the baby?”

I can’t help but laugh, she’s really animated sometimes. She reminds me of Jess in that aspect.

“The baby is Daniel’s and so is Kate.” That last part comes out a little more reluctantly than I meant for it to.

“That’s a good thing then?” she asks curiously.

“As for Lucas, yes, it’s a good thing.” A frown immediately erases her smile and I realize what a prick I sound like. “Not because I wouldn’t love him; he’s my nephew, I already love him. I’d at least like the kid to know his parents had a loving relationship when he was conceived and that he wasn’t the product of a meaningless one night stand.”

She’s nodding her agreement at me but the distant look in her eyes tells me something different. I know she was raised by her grandma so maybe this is bringing up some bad memories for her. I quickly change the subject. “As for Kate, well, she’s always going to be in my life. She’s my best friend, but her heart belongs to Daniel. Eventually, he’ll forgive her and they’ll be back together in no time.”

Misty seems to relax and the concerned look she’s giving me now is touching. “Are you okay with that?” she asks tenderly.

“Actually, I am. We can talk about it more when we go out but I’m more okay with it than I ever imagined I could be.”

“Good for you, Mike. I’m happy to see you moving on with your life and getting back to normal. I’ve got to clock in, but text me later and we’ll figure out a good day to go out.”

“Hey, guys! Misty, it’s good to see you again. Can you join us?” Kate asks sweetly as she slides into the opposite side of the booth.

“It’s good to see you, too, but I need to clock in. I’ll be back in a few to take your orders.”

Kate’s smiling like the cat that ate the canary, but there’s pain still glimmering in her eyes. “You like her, don’t you?”

This is awkward

She reaches across the table and takes my hand in hers, rubbing her thumb gently over mine. “It’s okay if you do, Mike. You were right; you need to move on, too.”

This is a really shitty conversation to have, especially with Kate, but if we’re going to be friends we’re going to have to talk about these things. And see each other in new relationships.
That part is going to suck.

“It’s complicated. I hurt her. I was in denial about how she felt about me and I treated her like yesterday’s trash. I miss her friendship, so we’re going to work on that. As for anything else, I’m not sure I’m ready to move on just yet.”  I close my eyes and exhale slowly. This is so hard. We talked this morning and agreed we weren’t going to let anything get uncomfortable between us, but I guess it’s going to take a little getting used to.

“Can I put my two cents in?” Her words pull me from my thoughts.

“Of course you can, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to take your advice,” I reply jokingly

“You’re more ready for a relationship than you know. Trust me. I waited for you for years, but now I don’t know if I was waiting for
you
or just wanting to recapture what we had, and I’d only
known that
with
you
. It’s been almost four years, Mike. While I don’t doubt you loved me, if you’re truly honest with yourself, I think you fell
out
of love with me a long time ago. You were in love with the idea of me and what we had, and that, my friend, you can definitely find again. You just need to open your heart.”

When I can finally swallow over the lump in my throat I respond. “Sage advice from someone so young.”

She shakes her head sadly. “No, just advice from the only other person in the world who’s been where you are and knows
exactly
how you feel. It wasn’t easy for me to let you go, either, Mike. It was just… time.”

Misty interrupts us before I can respond. “Sorry, I just wanted to see if you were ready to order but I can come back…”

Kate smiles up at her and shakes her head. “You weren’t interrupting anything. In fact, we’re celebrating new beginnings today. New friendships, new life, and new loves, and I know exactly what I want.”

Kate’s attitude is infectious and I can’t help but smile. I know everything she said is true. I also know we’re going to be just fine.

After breakfast, we drive our separate cars to the hospital. I’ve got to go to work after this, especially since Daniel won’t be in for a few days. Well, I’m assuming he won’t. Neither of us have talked to anyone since we left the hospital last night. When I left Kate’s this morning, I stopped off at the florist and picked up a big arrangement of flowers and some balloons. As I work on getting them out of my truck, I glance over and see Kate pull out a giant teddy bear and what looks to be the same dozen balloons I have from her car. I can’t hold in my laughter and when she looks up at me she laughs, too.

“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” she asks breathlessly.

“We always have been, Katie Grace. That’s why we’re going to be the bestest of friends forever.”

“Wow I haven’t heard you say that since we were kids, but it’s the absolute truth. I love you, Mike. Now and always.” Her eyes fill with tears as she speaks the words.

“I love you, too, always. Now stop getting emotional and let’s go show your man he’s the only one for you.” As those words fall from my lips, I realize it doesn’t hurt to say them. Maybe we really are growing up.

“Baby steps. That’s what he asked for, and now that he’s a father, I don’t even know if he’ll still want that. I’m just going to follow his lead; it’s all I’m comfortable with right now.”

“Okay, but I’m right here and if you need to bolt again, I’m right behind you.”

  She shoves into me with her shoulder. “You’re such an ass.”

“I know, but this ass has your back, so you follow Daniel’s lead, but I’m going to follow yours.”

“Thanks, Mike,” she whispers, but I notice she’s slowed her pace and by the time we reach maternity, her hands are trembling a bit.
She’s terrified.

“It’s going to be okay, Kate. We don’t have to stay long, just long enough.”

She nods and I transfer the balloons to the hand I’m holding the flowers in, then place my hand on her lower back and guide her into Vanessa’s room. Vanessa is in bed with Chad right by her side holding her hand, and Daniel is in the rocker by the window feeding his son.

Wow… my best friend, my brother, has a son.

The realization we’re all moving on in our lives really hits me, but not as hard as it’s hitting Kate if the grip she suddenly has on my hand is any indication. Daniel looks up at us and then down at Kate’s hand, shakes his head slightly, and continues to feed Lucas. His head is so far up his ass right now he can’t see straight. If he would’ve paid attention he would have seen it wasn’t a loving hand hold but a fearful one.

“Kate! Mike! You guys are so sweet. You didn’t have to bring us anything, you’ve done more than enough already.”

Even though Vanessa is beaming, she doesn’t look well. Then again, who am I to judge what she looks like? She just had a baby. Kate releases my hand and gives Chad a hug, handing him the bear and the balloons. After placing the flowers on the table, I lean down to give Vanessa a kiss on the cheek. Any animosity I’ve ever felt for her is long gone.

“Congratulations, you look great.”

“Always the charmer, aren’t you? I look like hell, but thank you for being sweet.”

Kate squeezes her way in to see Vanessa, and I head over to see the proud papa. If he was angry a few minutes ago you wouldn’t know it now. “Congratulations, man, you look really happy.”

As I squat down to get a good look at Lucas, Daniel replies, “So do you. Guess you guys worked things out?”