Loving Hearts (13 page)

“You mean being hopeful?”

“Yes. I told her not to get too excited about it all, but Rachel’s backed in a corner. She loves Dad, and naturally she loves Jeff. Which one will she hurt? It’s a no-win situation.”

“Being an optimistic sort, I’d like to think your dad will eventually come around.”

She released a faint chuckle. “I’d like to think the same, but like I said, God will have to use a club. No matter. You made a valiant effort.” The good humor stayed on her face.

Feeling assured, Ian rose and walked to the edge of her desk. He leaned against it and lifted her hand from the report. “These fingers have worked so hard.

What do you think about giving them a break and having dinner with me tonight?”

Her smile faded. “I can’t, Ian, but thanks. I promised Rachel I’d go with her to the Grand Haven Streetfest.”

Ian tried to cover his disappointment. “Where’s Jeff?”

“He’s working overtime tonight. Someone’s ill. But he said he’d have a replacement in a few hours and meet her there later.”

“Would you mind if I came along?” Ian asked, grasping his courage. He’d put her on the spot, but at this point, all seemed fair in love and war.

Pausing, she slipped her hand from his, then rolled back the chair to rise. “I don’t see why not. We can eat junk food there. Maybe some of those sausages you love.”

Ian shifted from the edge of her desk, pleased she remembered. “Do you want to call Rachel to warn her?”

“Warn her?”

“That I’m coming along.”

She sent him a faint smile. “No, she won’t care.”

“What about Rachel’s sister?”

Esther eyed him a moment as if she didn’t understand. Finally his question sank in and she laughed. “She doesn’t mind at all.”

E
sther hid the excitement she felt with Ian at her side. Last year she’d come to the city’s annual Streetfest alone, ambling along Washington Avenue and feeling like an outsider from the world.

Tonight after Rachel and Jeff found each other, she and Ian meandered down the sidewalk, gawking at all the stands and displays. The city’s autumn tradition brought the community downtown to enjoy dinner at one of the restaurants or fill up at the stands providing food samples, to visit the merchants’ exhibits and to dance in the street until midnight.

When the crowd became heavy, Ian slid his arm around her back, maneuvering her through the groups of window-shoppers and around the food displays. “There’s cider over there. Want some?”

“Sure. It’ll help wash down the crackers and spicy cheese spread,” Esther said, reiterating the storekeeper’s pitch.

Grinning, he unloosened his arm and darted to the
local cider mill display. He hurried back with two small paper cups. “Only a mouthful, but it’s better than nothing.”

She took a sip, enjoying the cleansing tang that helped to quench her thirst. “I should buy a jug before I leave tonight.”

“See, these displays aren’t here for nothing,” he said, downing the contents of his cup in one swallow.

Two more sips and hers vanished. She crinkled the paper and tossed it into a trash can. “Couldn’t ask for a nicer evening.” Beneath the aroma of food, the scent of autumn hung on the air—drying leaves and moldering earth bound in a crisp breeze from the north.

“Problem is,” he said, “it means winter’s on the way. I like the autumn colors, but I miss summer.”

She smiled. “It’s the boating you miss.”

“You know me best,” he said, and gave her arm a squeeze. “I’d like to take the boat out at least once more before I have to put it in storage.”

Esther heard it coming and prepared herself.

“I know your last trip was so awful. Terrible memories instead of the good ones I’d hoped you’d have.”

He paused, and she waited.

“I hoped you might come with me again. Give it another try.”

She shook her head. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Seriously. It’ll be our celebration…finishing the report early. Please. Come with me?”

“Oh, Ian—”

“I know, Esther, but you were handling it, and I really think you should give it one more try.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

His abrupt answer tickled her, and she laughed. “How can a woman say no with an explanation like that?”

He slipped his arm around her waist. “When it comes to words, I’m prolific.”

They reached the end of the street, close to the lake. On a temporary platform a local band had just returned from their break and struck up a loud rock-and-roll tune. The thrumming bass notes reverberated through the air, and couples left sidewalk attractions to dance on the street.

“Be honest, and tell me if I ever look like that,” Ian yelled above the noise.

She didn’t bother to respond. Her voice would have been lost in the wailing arpeggio of the lead guitar. Though Esther loved the rhythm and beat of a good band, her preference leaned toward something soft and mellow. Still, tonight she couldn’t help but tap her foot.

When the song ended, Ian leaned closer. “Let’s hope the next one’s a little softer.”

“I second that motion,” she said.

His wish came true. The guitars muted, and a singer stepped to the mike, sending out the words to a popular love song.

“Dance?” Ian asked.

Her heart skipped. “I haven’t danced in years.”
She hadn’t been kidding when she said years. Probably high school.

He didn’t accept her excuse. “Just follow me,” he said, taking her hand and luring her into the street.

Slipping his arm around her back, Ian tucked her hand against his chest and guided her into the rhythm.

Esther fell into step, and when she calmed, she sensed he did, too, swaying and pivoting to the music and tempting her to stay in his embrace forever. She inched her hand along his arm, enjoying the feel of his hard muscles tensing and easing beneath his lightweight jacket. He rested his cheek against her hair, and she basked in the warmth and closeness of his body.

When the music stopped, Esther pivoted toward the sidewalk, positive the next song would be another raucous tune, but instead, the band swayed into another sweet song.

Ian didn’t let her escape, but drew her even closer to his chest. She looked into his eyes, and seeing his smile sent her heart skittering.

“Having fun?” he asked.

Afraid to speak, she nodded.

In the distance she caught a glimpse of Rachel and Jeff clinging to each other like two lovesick teens. Esther’s heart flooded with sadness, and she wished her father would relent.

When she tensed, Ian seemed to notice and he shifted his head in her sister’s direction. He turned back and gave her gentle smile. “Have faith. God will work everything out.”

God will work everything out.
If only she had Ian’s confidence.

He nuzzled her cheek, and she closed her eyes, loving every moment yet fearing the future. What would she do when the charade ended?

Esther yearned to be his friend, but she’d left the realms of friendship long ago. Her feelings had blossomed and grown to something sweeter and more lasting, and though Ian treated her with kindness, she sensed he had no intentions concerning anything other than what they’d stated—a silly scheme. Ian seemed to enjoy the fantasy.

The lazy melody drifted to an end, yet Ian held her fast, swaying to imaginary music. She would have stayed there for hours, if she could, wrapped in contentment.

When he slowed, then stopped, Esther looked into his face and regarded Ian’s mouth descending to hers. She wanted to step back, to stop his lips from caressing hers, but she lost the inner battle. Instead, she tiptoed to meet his soft mouth and languish in the tender touch of his lips.

After she eased away, confusion and pleasure battled in her heart. “Why—wh—what happened?”

“I kissed you.”

“I know, but I mean…why? Were Rachel and Jeff watching us or…?” She didn’t know what she meant, but she wanted to understand why he’d kissed her so sweetly.

“Sure,” he said.

“Oh,” was all she could say, disappointed that the kiss had only been part of the scheme.

Hearing the knocking, Esther slipped into her denim slacks and hurried toward the door. Ian couldn’t be there already, she was sure. He’d said eleven, and it was only a little after ten.

She pulled open the door and saw Rachel standing on the driveway, her face pale, her eyes red rimmed.

“What’s wrong?” Esther pushed open the door and stepped back.

Rachel marched inside, headed for the living room and caved into a chair. “I’m so frustrated I could scream.”

“About what? Is it Jeff again?”

“Him, too,” Rachel said, “but it’s Dad. Nothing has changed except he admits he was wrong.”

“Dad?” Esther’s body straightened with the news. If it was true, then Rachel’s distress seemed inappropriate. She should be leaping for joy. “Did I hear you say Dad admitted he was wrong?”

Rachel nodded. “He did, but he said it didn’t matter.”

Esther’s happiness spiraled into confusion.

“Dad thought that out of respect for you—being the oldest—I should wait until you’re engaged before Jeff and I can talk about marriage. I hope Ian’s about ready to ask you.”

Esther’s shoulders drooped and her legs buckled beneath her, sending her quaking body to the sofa. “Rachel, it’s useless.”

“Why? What do you mean?”

The guilt of Esther’s deceit rose in full fury. “I’m not going to be engaged. Ever.” She ran her hand
across her face and covered her mouth as reality struck her with force. Rachel needed to know the truth.

Rachel slid to the edge of her seat. “But what about you and—”

“It’s a charade. We have no relationship. We did it so that you’d get off my back about dating.”

Rachel’s face blanched the color of new snow. “You can’t mean this.”

Sorrow flooded Esther. “But I do.”

“No, Esther. You two look so…so good together. I know I’ve seen a special spark between you. You can’t be serious.” Rachel’s hands quivered as she ran them along her throat.

“I’m so sorry. It started out as a way to keep you and Jeff from manipulating my life. We should have ended the ruse long ago.”

Rachel’s blank stare sent ice through Esther’s veins, but she continued. “Ian and I had to work together on the project…so we just let you think…” Tears welled in her eyes as she saw her sister’s heartbreak. “I do like Ian. A lot. But it’s one-sided. Nothing will come of it. So stop hoping.”

“I should be angry at you,” Rachel said. “I should get up and walk out of here, but I can’t.” She lowered her head to her lap, then lifted it. “Jeff and I were wrong to play matchmaker. I knew it when I agreed.”

“I know,” Esther said.

“But what will I do now, Esther? How can I tell Jeff that Dad’s sticking to the whole thing even
though he knows he’s wrong? It doesn’t make sense.”

Esther agreed with that. It made no sense at all. “I’ll talk to him tonight. At least I can be truthful with him now.”

“He really likes Ian,” Rachel mumbled. “I think seeing you two together gave him confidence that you would…” Her voice faded in defeat.

Her father’s attitude struck an unpleasant chord, and Esther’s anger grew. “I’ll tell you what I just realized,” she said, her voice sparking with indignation. “I thought this was like old times. I had to do everything first. But this is different. Dad’s been matchmaking in his own way, Rachel. He’s as bad as you and Jeff.”

She rose and paced the floor. “He wants both his daughters married and cared for, so to make sure it happened, he insisted you wait until I married. See. It puts pressure on me—who’d been happy and content as a single person—to find someone, so
you
can be happy.” She slammed her hand against the doorjamb. “He’s done it all our lives.”

“Do you really think he did that?” Rachel asked.

Esther clamped her hands into fists. “Do I think? I know. Can’t you see it?”

“What will we do? What will
I
do?” Rachel asked, rising and crossing to Esther. She lifted her arms and wrapped them around Esther’s neck.

“I can’t think right now,” Esther said. “I’m leaving in a few minutes. I have plans.” She avoided mentioning Ian. His name would only stir up expec
tations. More hopes. “But I’ll see Dad tonight like I said. I’m upset, but I’ll think of something.”

Rachel’s arms slid from their embrace and hung at her side while her eyes narrowed and her mouth pinched with thought. “Something’s just struck me. Something important.”

Esther’s pulse tripped as she watched her sister’s face. “What is it?”

“God’s telling us something, Esther. I feel it.” She grasped Esther’s shoulders. “I’ve been fighting the Lord and manipulating you. I’m frustrated with Dad. It’s not right.”

Imagining what Rachel had in mind, Esther’s stomach churned with concern.

“I’m putting everything in God’s hands. That’s all I can do,” Rachel said. “If Jeff loves me—really loves me—he’ll pray with me and let God’s will be done. Maybe our marriage isn’t meant to be.” Though she said the words, tears welled in her eyes.

“Don’t do anything rash,” Esther said. “I’ll be gone all afternoon, but we can talk when I get back. Is that okay?”

Rachel nodded. “I feel better already. Pray with me before I go. Okay?”

Her heart fluttering in her chest, Esther grasped Rachel’s hands as they prayed.

Ian’s hands faltered as he raised the sails then settled back in the cockpit. Esther seemed thoughtful, but she acted calmer than he’d seen her in months. Maybe ever. He wondered what had caused the change. Whatever had generated it, he felt grateful.

Sailing had a romantic allure for many people. Today Ian had chosen the setting for his own purpose, a purpose he’d tossed around in his mind for the past weeks ever since he’d known for certain he loved Esther.

“Want a soda?” Esther asked, sitting nearby on a bench.

“Sounds good,” he said, watching her rise and grab the door to make her way down to the cabin. Her windbreaker rustled in the crisp breeze. He hoped she’d be warm enough. If not, his arms would do the trick.

His thoughts drifted back to the Streetfest. The image of holding Esther in his arms, her petite frame so close he could feel her breath against his cheek, sent longing skipping through his chest. When they’d first stepped into the street she’d tensed as he swayed to the music, but in a heartbeat her body had moved with his, slow and easy like the sailboat on a still summer afternoon.

Esther had become his summer. His sailboat. His dream. No longer could he play this game, pretending it was only a make-believe romance.

Esther appeared in the companionway, carrying two sodas and with a bag of potato chips tucked under her arm. “Thought you might like a snack,” she said, handing him a soft drink.

She set hers on the bench and tore open the chip bag, extending it toward him.

He patted the seat beside him. “Only if you sit here. We can share.”

The sun drifted behind a cloud, and a gust of
colder wind whipped through the sails. Esther shivered with the chill. “And you can block the icy air.” She sat beside him, propping the sack on her thigh.

He plunged his hand into the bag and pulled out a handful, maneuvering a few to his mouth. Crumbs fell and sailed away on the breeze.

They sat in silence, munching and drinking soda. With each gust, Esther nestled against him, using him as a barricade.

When the cloud drifted and the sun brightened the sky, Esther straightened. “That feels good.”

“This is why I store the boat at the end of September. We might have a few warm days, but out here it gets cold.” He struggled with himself, wondering about the best time to initiate his confession.

“I’m feeling better today,” she said, standing a moment to look out at the sun-sprinkled ripples. “You guessed the truth when we first met. I did miss sailing, but the fear paralyzed me. Little by little, I hope I feel more confident.”