Loving Hearts (10 page)

“Maybe having Jeff and Rachel with us would distract you. Help you focus on something other than the old memories.”

She shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“If you’d prefer, I can tell him no.”

Guilt knotted in her chest. Rachel and Jeff’s problems might be soothed if they had something else to think about…like a day on the boat. “Don’t tell Jeff no. It might be fun for them, and I know they could use the distraction.”

“Then you’ll go?”

She bit the inside of her lip, trying to pull the answer from her throat. Finally she nodded.

“That’s great, Esther. I’ll let Jeff know tomorrow. It should be fun.” He shifted in the chair. “So let’s get back to this talk. Who do you think I want to be with?”

“I don’t know. I’m the one who’s settled on being single…not you. Maybe you should find someone that—”

“Maybe that’s something I should worry about and not you. If I didn’t enjoy your company, I wouldn’t be here.”

But that didn’t answer her question. How did he feel about her? Did he have someone else in his life—someone he’d want as a marriage partner? The questions struck her like a stick. What difference did it make? She’d set her mind to be single. What difference was there if Ian had another woman in his life…or women, for that matter?

The credenza photograph rose in her mind. Could that picture be related to the Jemma story she’d never heard?

“What is it?” Ian asked. “You’re thinking about something.”

Courage shot through her. “It’s your credenza.”

“My what?”

“The photograph…the one with you and a woman. I wondered if that was Jemma.”

He frowned a moment, then his face brightened, and he chuckled. “Why would you think that’s Jemma?”

She shrugged, hoping to cover the discomfort that
rifled through her. “I don’t know. You mentioned a funny story about her.”

“Right. I forgot. I was going to tell you about that.” Ian shifted in the chair and leaned closer. “Would you like to know about that woman? The one in the photograph?”

Esther’s heart rose to her throat.

She nodded.

“I
t’s my sister,” Ian said, viewing Esther’s confusion. “She lives in Colorado. Ever been there? It’s great country.”

“Your sister? I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Lots of things you don’t know.” He realized his joke hadn’t worked.

Esther’s expression shifted to concern. “You’re right. I know nothing about you. Nothing at all.”

“I’ve told you about my dad.” He sent her a hopeful look. “I’ve never had reason to talk about my sister. The picture you saw in my office was taken one fall afternoon near Vail while I was visiting her. Her husband took it.”

“She’s married.”

“Yes, not everyone is single in my family. Only me. She has two kids. A boy and a girl. I’m crazy about them.” Mentioning the kids sent his heart to the Colorado mountains. Though love traveled miles, he missed them.

“I’ve never been to Colorado.”

Her comment seemed disjointed and uncomfortable.

“You should go sometime,” he said. “Mountains, streams, deer and elk running wild.”

“It sounds nice.” She lowered her head for a moment. “I’m sorry about my question. I didn’t mean to sound suspicious…and it’s not my business anyway. You’d mentioned Jemma, and I saw the photograph…although after meeting her at the party, I should have realized she wasn’t the woman in the picture.” A disconcerted look moved across her face.

His stomach tightened as the pieces fell together. If she were curious about his relationship with another woman, then maybe she did care about him after all—even more than he had the courage to dream. He could never tell from her hot-and-cold behavior, but her question left him hopeful.

“Since you mentioned it, I’ll tell you the funny story about Jemma.”

Interest rose on her face. “Sure. I’ve wondered.”

“Strange, but I didn’t realize what was happening until it was over. Then I wanted to kick myself.”

She nestled her legs beneath her, looking cozy and ready, as if waiting for a long tale.

“Jemma was the daughter-in-law of Philip’s cousin, Claire, who owns a shop on Washington. You may have shopped there. Loving Treasures.”

“Only once or twice.”

“Anyway…Philip’s a generous man and apparently helped set up Claire in the boutique business. He must have taken Jemma under his wing, too,
thinking she was too young to be a widow. So he decided to play matchmaker….” He chuckled. Apparently that was a common goal, now that he thought about it.

“Sounds familiar,” Esther said, a smile curving her mouth. “But don’t tell me…”

“Yes. It’s true—Philip seemed to think I’d make a perfect husband for Jemma. He had us spending time together on all kinds of projects.”

“Did you like her?”

“I did, but no matter how I tried, we just didn’t click. Anyway, after I opened my eyes, I could see right through the situation. She was crazy about Philip and he was nuts about her.” The embarrassing memories hovered in his mind.

“So what was the problem? Why didn’t he go after her himself?”

“Philip is nearly twenty years older than Jemma. And I don’t think he considered himself good husband material…especially for a young woman.”

“But it was meant to be. They’re happy together…and now they’re having a baby.”

Esther had nailed the truth. Jemma and Philip were happy. Ian wondered what his life might have been like if things had worked out for him and Jemma. Would he be anticipating fatherhood today like Philip? An unexpected desire tugged at his chest. The image of his sister’s children hung in his thoughts, then his solitary life swallowed him. He didn’t like the picture.

Esther uncurled her legs, and a scowl covered her face. “How did you react to all that? Did you feel
uncomfortable around her after being rejec—when she and Philip got together?”

She’d bitten off the word, but rejection rang loud and clear in Ian’s head. He had been rejected again. “No one likes to feel they’ve been a failure. I suppose I felt a little uncomfortable at first.”

“But you weren’t a failure.”

“I wouldn’t call it a success.”

“No, but it just wasn’t God’s design. The Lord has other plans for you.” Her scowl had vanished, replaced by a look of tenderness.

“Any idea what they are?”

Her eyes widened, and she straightened her back. “How would I know? I’m not even sure where my life is headed.”

“I thought God wanted you to be single. Isn’t that what you told me?”

She lowered her gaze and remained silent for a moment as if she were unsure. “Yes…that’s what I’ve thought. I could have been wrong, but it’s too late now.”

“Why is it too late now?”

“My life is settled. I have my own ways. It seems too difficult to change it all now.”

“You’re not fifty, Esther. Philip was nearly fifty when he married Jemma. She was just about your age.”

An uneasy look loomed in her eyes.

“And I think Philip and Jemma are a perfect couple,” Ian said.

“You do?”

“Yes. In fact, I think it was God’s doing.” Ian
relaxed against the cushion and grasped the iced tea. The brisk taste cleared his thoughts. “You know, Esther, sometimes I think you and I miss the obvious, trying to make human sense out of the Lord’s business. We want to do God’s bidding…but instead, we look so hard we miss it altogether. God’s will goes right over our heads.”

A thoughtful look rose in her eyes. “That could be.”

“You should rethink things,” Ian said. “Maybe God has a different direction for you than you thought.” His heart thundered in his chest. He wanted so badly to tell her that he wanted to forget the charade and make their relationship the real thing…but he needed to be assured.

A rosy tint blossomed on her cheeks. “The Bible says God has a purpose for each of us. I think we’ve hit on something important today, Ian.”

“We have?” His chest tightened as he contemplated what she would say. Had she decided her purpose was to be with him?

“Would you like to know what I figured out?”

“Sure.” He studied her face, eager to hear what he hoped she was about to say. “What is it?”

“You said you’d like to meet my father?”

Her words fell on him like dust. He found nothing solid in her comment. “What do you mean?”

“Rachel thought if my dad saw us together, he might think that…something could come from our friendship. Something more serious and…”

“And he might be more understanding with Rachel. Is that it?” Ian’s heart sank. He had hoped that
for once her thought was about them. Something about their relationship being guided by God. Not more concern about Jeff and Rachel.

“Don’t you see? I figured it was impossible to ask you to visit my dad, and you volunteered. Can’t you see? Each deed we do has a purpose. I think that was God’s doing.”

Disappointment flooded over him. Oh, Esther. I think God’s doing so much more…and you’re missing the obvious, he thought.

The sailboat moved along the channel, and Ian watched the three others enjoying the perfect late-summer day. While Rachel and Esther leaned back with their legs stretched out along the bench, Jeff sat perched on the cabin top, scouting the shore through binoculars.

Ian had decided to make the best of things. If Esther had no interest in him, maybe God’s purpose had been to help her get over her fear of sailing. Or maybe it was to make things right for Jeff and Rachel. As Esther had said a couple nights ago, the Bible said for everything there was a purpose. Maybe he’d been misguided, thinking he and Esther might have a future together.

Ian looked into the sky. Though the sun glistened off the water and its rays warmed their skin, a dark cloud hovered off in the distance. He’d have to keep an eye on it. He realized if Esther noticed she’d want to turn back.

Without frightening Esther, he’d mentioned a few safety rules to all of them in passing. He really had
no concerns about Esther or Rachel. They’d both sailed when they were kids. But Jeff had never been on a cutter. His cocky, playful manner alerted Ian to keep a watchful eye on him.

Ian’s attention drifted his way. Jeff lowered the binoculars and winked at Rachel. “Sitting here, I’m missing out on you…and some sunshine romancing.”

Jeff discarded the binoculars on a bench and eased his way over to Rachel. Sliding his arm around her shoulder, he gave her a quick kiss, then tilted her head against his. Nestled together, they murmured to each other with an occasional chuckle or a teasing poke.

Esther sat alone, looking into the horizon. A hint of concern tugged at her mouth, but she covered it well, and Ian pushed away any thought of asking her if they should head to the marina. If she wanted to go back, she’d say so.

“Hey, Esther. Why are you sitting there alone?” Jeff asked. “How about cuddling up with the captain?”

She pulled herself up straight. “Remember the rules of the road. No matter what vehicle, drivers keep their hands on the steering wheel,” she said, a faint grin brightening her face.

Ian caught her subtle look and beckoned to her. If they were trying to convince Jeff and Rachel they were falling in love, they’d have to look the part.

Esther accepted his offer. She rose and nestled beside him, resting her back against the cockpit coaming.

Ian noticed Rachel’s watchful gaze and slid his arm around Esther’s shoulders. “They’re watching us.”

Esther leaned toward him. “Do you know what I just realized?” she murmured. “Jeff’s a little immature, don’t you think?”

He grinned. “They’re younger. I guess it’s expected.”

Without alerting her, Ian studied the sky, realizing the dark cloud had grown high overhead. Wisdom told him to start back before a storm whipped up, and he prayed they would reach the marina before it became serious. Already the swells had risen, and he feared the wind against the tide, not a good situation for his small cutter.

Hoping to distract Esther while he came about, he scrambled for conversation. He’d noticed her thoughtful look and asked, “Something on your mind?”

“Are you still coming on Sunday?”

He wondered what had motivated the question. “Why not? You promised me a home-cooked meal.”

“Aren’t you lucky,” she said. “Or should I say aren’t I lucky?”

Her playful response heartened him. He nuzzled his lips against her ear while his pulse thundered. “I know I am.”

Esther shrank from him with a giggle. “That tickles.” Her voice carried on the breeze.

“Hey,” Jeff said, “that’s what this lady needs. A little tickling.” He snuggled Rachel’s neck until she twisted and wiggled to make him stop.

Jeff didn’t give up, and Rachel slipped off the bench, laughing.

“Careful,” Esther called, “one of you’ll get hurt.”

Ian sensed Esther’s concern. “Better slow down the roughhousing. Your sister is getting nervous.”

Rachel grinned at her from the deck.

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Jeff said, leaping up and offering his hand to Rachel.

Ian had no time to be concerned. A speedboat shot past and at the same time that the wake hit, an unexpected gust smacked the cutter.

Unaware of the situation, Jeff laughed and gave Rachel a playful boost, coinciding with the boat’s yaw and roll, sending the leeward rail toward the water.

Ian saw him stumble backward, and before Jeff could grab hold, he’d tumbled overboard. Esther let out a scream.

Rachel’s frantic cry joined Esther’s panic.

“Throw him the lifeline,” Ian yelled, coming about and lifting a prayer to the Lord. He could wring Jeff’s neck for his foolishness, but now it was too late.
Father, keep him safe.
The words soared heavenward with the increasing wind.

To Ian’s grateful surprise, Esther had calmed herself and grabbed the tethered cushion. She hurled it overboard while Ian darted past her to drop the halyards.

“He went under,” Rachel screamed. “He’s drowning.”

Ian glanced toward them.

“No,” Esther yelled, “there he is. He’s come up not too far from the cushion.” She stood at the railing, extending the man-overboard pole.

“Swim,” Rachel cried, clinging to the rail in tears. “Swim to the ladder.”

“Calm down,” Esther said, stretching her arms forward to reach him with the pole.

Esther called over her shoulder. “And we’re drifting downwind toward him.”

Ian hurried back to the wheel and came about while making a circle around Jeff as he floundered in the waves.

“He’s got hold of it,” Esther called.

Ian locked the wheel, then extracted the pole from Esther’s clenched hands. When he looked over the rail, Jeff was clinging to the cushion, riding high on the growing rollers and paddling toward the boat while grinning at his predicament.

“Not funny,” Ian muttered, reeling him in like a fish.

Jeff reached the ladder and hung there a moment, seeming to catch his breath. Finally he heaved himself up the rungs.

As Rachel leaned toward him as if to give him a hand, Ian let out a bellow. “Back off, Rachel.”

She jumped back.

“If you’re not careful, we’ll have both of you in the water.” Ian moved closer to hoist Jeff into the boat.

When he had both feet on the deck, Jeff stood in front of them with a grin plastered on his face and
water running from his clothes. “Anyone else for a nice swim?”

Ian missed the humor. “Sit down, Jeff, before you fall overboard again. Esther, take the helm while I handle the sails. We need to get back. A storm’s brewing.”

Though fear now blanched her face, Esther stepped to the wheel and held the boat into the wind until he raised the sails and cleated the halyards.

“Everyone sit and don’t move,” Ian said, maneuvering himself back to the helm. “We’ve had enough excitement.”

Looking at Esther, he knew he’d have a tough time getting her back on board for another sail. He clamped his jaw, not wanting to say any more to anyone.

After thanks and apologies, Rachel and Jeff headed to their car. Esther waited on board while Ian stowed the equipment. She hid her distress until after Jeff and Rachel had vanished beyond her line of vision, and then the thought of losing someone else from sailing blanketed her in anguish.

From the moment Jeff fell, her prayers had become a litany while she threw the cushion and played out the lifeline. She’d feared God would let her down, but the Lord had been merciful. Tangled in her distress, her heart filled with gratefulness.