Love's Destiny (Love Trilogy #2) (10 page)

“That was beautiful.” He whispered and my heart thrilled at the emotion in his voice.

“Thank you. It’s still kind of rough, but…”

“No. It’s perfect.” he insisted and this time the hint of a smile turned into the real thing. My heart soared.

“Play something else.” He asked and without another word I raised my violin and began playing the first piece that came to memory.

I played until my hands ached. I had no idea how much time had passed, all I knew was Tyler was smiling. He kept his eyes closed as he listened, and he smiled.

Finally I had to take a break. I lowered the violin and stretched out the aches in my shoulders and neck.

“Thank you.” Tyler whispered with his eyes still closed.

I walked over to the chair where he sat and stood in front of him. He opened his eyes and looked up at me.

“Thank you.” He said again this time with more force.

I reached over and placed my hand against his cheek and he leaned into it. I didn’t know what to say. Our eyes stayed locked as he looked up at me, my hand cradling his face. The sudden intensity in his eyes made my heart flutter unexplainably.

“Knock knock.” Chance said as he opened the door. I jerked my hand from Tyler’s face as I turned toward the door.

“Mom said to tell you dinner’s ready.” Chance announced then pivoted and disappeared as quickly as he’d come.

Tyler stood and we both walked silently downstairs to dinner. As we walked down the steps Tyler reached over and took my hand. My heart fluttered again.

We walked into the formal dining room prepared to pass through to the kitchen where we usually ate but were surprised to find Aunt Amy and Uncle Dan sitting at the large table with my parents. Everyone turned to look at us as we walked into the room and self-consciously Tyler let go of my hand. Before anyone could say anything Chance, Jaime and Kenzie all came bustling into the room laughing and talking about the show they’d just been watching as we all took our seats.

Throughout dinner conversations varied, Aunt Amy peppered me with questions about Juilliard. The girls wanted to know if they could come visit me in New York. Mom talked about a difficult cake she was working on, her clients had met in Italy and wanted their wedding cake to resemble the leaning tower of Pisa, and she said it was a nightmare to try to design, but I could tell by her tone she loved the challenge. Dad talked about the art gallery he was considering opening. Chance bragged to Uncle Dan about the long list of girls that were vying for his attention at school.

Tyler didn’t talk but he at least seemed to be listening to the conversations around him, which was definitely an improvement. Anytime I looked his way his eyes were riveted on me. It made me nervous to feel so scrutinized, but also happy to see the first signs of life he’d shown in several weeks.

After dinner he helped me clear the table and followed me into the kitchen to help with the dishes. We worked in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. I was thrilled to see Tyler doing something, anything.

“Will you play for me again?” he asked when we’d finished.

“Of course!” I exclaimed automatically taking his hand and pulling him towards the stairs.

At first I tried to hold on to the good memories. I remembered my mom’s smile, and the way she would tuck me into bed at night when I was little telling me fantastic stories of dragons and knights in shining armor. I remembered playing ball with my dad in the back yard of our house in San Diego. I remembered how much I had looked up to him. I remembered everything good about my childhood that I’d allowed myself to forget over the last few years, and suddenly these last few years seemed so insignificant compared to the rest. I tried so hard to hold on to those memories. Tried not to think about how devastated my mother had looked the last time I saw her, or how disappointed my dad had been. I tried not to think of those things, but those were the things that kept me up at night. Those memories were the ones that haunted me.

The regret, the grief, the pain. It was too much. So I blocked it out. I blocked everything out. It was the only way to survive. The numbness lasted for weeks. At first it was like a protective cover, something to shield me from the pain. But then it turned into a prison, blocking out all light, all emotion, everything. I didn’t know how to release it. I felt dead inside.

Destiny brought me back to life. The sound of her music broke through the shell that surrounded me. The music brought back emotion. Happiness, sadness, pain, all of it and I welcomed it. I hadn’t been sure if I’d ever feel anything again, and I was relieved to discover I could. I was also frightened by the intensity of it.

So many emotions had washed through me as she’d played and then when she’d finished and I looked up into her eyes the strongest and most frightening emotion of all overwhelmed me. I didn’t have a name for it, not yet. I just recognized it as a need. A need for her. Suddenly I remembered the kiss we’d shared the previous summer and I ached to kiss her again. But Chance coming to tell us it was time for dinner interrupted us before I could act on the sudden impulse to take her in my arms.

As we ate dinner I listened to the conversations that flowed around me. It was like cotton had been stuffed in my ears all this time and now it had been removed. Everything seemed louder, brighter. I couldn’t take my eyes off Destiny. She was radiant.

Her dark hair created such a startling contrast with her fair complexion that her face almost seemed to glow, and her deep blue eyes surrounded by thick dark lashes mesmerized me. I had known her all my life, but it seemed like I was just seeing her for the first time. Had she always been this beautiful?

After dinner I asked her to play for me again. I wanted to experience the emotions that her music provoked in me. It felt so good just to feel again.

However, as much as I wanted to, I wasn’t brave enough to kiss her that night. Or the next. She continued to play for me every day, and I listened with rapt attention. Sometimes I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the music flowing through me. Sometimes I watched her beautiful face serious with concentration as she played.

She was working at her mom’s bakery for the summer and days were lonely waiting for her to come home, sometimes the solitude would bring back the emptiness. But every night I would come back to life when she played for me. When she played it was like we were inside a bubble where only she and I and her music existed.

A week passed before the bubble popped. Each day I felt a little more alive, a little more like myself. I knew the pain of losing my parents would never fully leave me, but I realized with some relief that I was still alive and it was ok for me to live. It was less painful when Destiny was with me.

I knew that she would be leaving for New York in a very short time and that thought terrified me, I didn’t know what I’d do without her. I couldn’t let her leave without telling her how I felt. The desire I felt for her was becoming overwhelming and I couldn’t let her leave without kissing her again.

Summer was in full swing and the weather was beautiful, so I decided to surprise her with a picnic on the beach. I had finally worked up the nerve to act on these feelings. I wasn’t 15 anymore and I was going to show her that.

I packed us a lunch, sandwiches and sodas and some of the big chocolate chip cookies Aunt Katherine had baked the night before, and found a big beach blanket to sit on. When everything was ready I went to go find Destiny to invite her to come to the beach with me.

I found her coming down the stairs and smiled as I waited at the bottom watching her descend. Butterflies erupted inside me as I imagined kissing her.

“Hey Ty.” She said as she reached the bottom step.

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the beach today? I packed a lunch…” I trailed off when I saw her expression change. Her smile faded.

“Oh… I’m sorry Tyler, but I have a… friend coming over.” She looked nervous and upset.

“Oh, sure. No big deal.” I told her trying to sound casual.

I was disappointed, but I could wait. So maybe the beach picnic I’d planned wouldn’t happen today. I still had tonight. She played for me every night after dinner. I would kiss her then. Nothing was going to stop me. Or so I’d thought.

The doorbell rang as Destiny and I stood in the foyer facing each other and she looked anxiously over my shoulder towards the door.

“I’ll get it.” I told her and went to answer the door.

I opened the door expecting to find Destiny’s friend standing on the other side. I hadn’t expected him to be a guy.

“Is Destiny here?” he asked confidently, knowing she was.

I didn’t say anything. My pulse raced and my fists clenched involuntarily. I sized him up and decided I could take him. He was a few inches shorter than me and he looked soft. Probably hadn’t done an honest day’s work in his life. I imagined his only source of exercise was probably a rousing game of tennis at the local country club. He wore a polo shirt and khaki shorts and looked just like I’d expect a pampered little rich boy to look.

“Hi Blake.” I heard Destiny’s voice at my side and turned to face her betrayal burning in my eyes. She looked back at me apologetically.

“Hey Destiny.” Blake said oblivious to the tension “Ready?”

“Sure.” Destiny said quietly looking down at her feet. “Tyler this is Blake a… friend from school.” This time I noticed how she paused before referring to him as a friend.

“Nice to meet you.” Blake said extending his hand. I wanted to punch the smug smile right off his face. Instead I turned around and walked away.

“Friendly guy.” I heard Blake mutter behind me as I climbed the stairs two at a time.

I wanted to punch something, but I decided against putting a hole in Aunt Katherine’s wall. I paced my room furiously. Not sure who I was more angry with. Destiny for not telling me she had a boyfriend, or myself for again assuming that she was showing some kind of interest in me.

I sat in my room all day as my anger simmered. I was going to confront her about it when she got home. How long had she been seeing him? She’d never mentioned him before. How serious were they? Couldn’t be too serious, he hadn’t been around for the last month that I’d been here. What did she see in that little punk? I was going to find out. Tonight when she played for me, we’d talk about this.

Except she didn’t come home for dinner. She didn’t come home for hours. As the time passed I shifted from feeling angry and betrayed to feeling embarrassed and foolish for thinking I had some sort of claim on her. I was still just “Little Tyler” to her. Some poor kid whose parents had died, who she was trying to cheer up. When would I learn that she didn’t feel about me the way I felt about her. When would I finally stop setting myself up to be hurt?

Like a coward I avoided coming home and facing Tyler. Blake had been vacationing with his parents for the summer, and I hadn’t even thought about him until he called.

He’d asked me to go sailing with him and I thought that would be a good time to let him know that I had been accepted into Juilliard and that I’d be leaving for New York soon. I had my speech all prepared about how long distance relationships didn’t work and how it was time for us to both move on with our lives.

Blake and I had never shared a strong bond. We had the same group of high school friends and a comfortable relationship, but I wasn’t in high school anymore and nothing tied me to Blake. There were no feelings strong enough that made me want to keep a connection with him. I was going to let him down easy and I figured it would be a mutual separation. He’d never declared strong feelings for me either.

I hadn’t anticipated Tyler’s involvement or reaction to seeing Blake. I was just anxious to get the day over with. When Tyler caught me coming down the stairs and asked me to go to the beach I was surprised by how much I really wanted to go. I would’ve much rather spent a day at the beach with Tyler than face the uncomfortable afternoon that was ahead of me. But Blake was already on his way.

When Tyler answered the door and saw Blake the look of pain on his face broke my heart. I wanted to explain, but how could I with Blake standing right there? Tyler looked like he was going to kill him and suddenly I realized just how big and strong Tyler had become. He stood several inches taller than Blake. The tendons and muscles in his strong arms flexed as his fists clenched and I saw the muscle in his jaw pop.

His dark brooding figure was such a stark contrast to the pale soft boy standing in front of him. Even though Blake was a few years older than Tyler I had no doubt that Tyler could destroy him.

Nervously I tried to make introductions, not sure what else to say, but Tyler just stormed away up the stairs.

Now I was terrified to come home. To face him. Would he be angry with me? He had looked furious. Surely he didn’t expect that I’d never dated. Then again I hadn’t ever told him about Blake, almost deliberately. Why did I feel like I’d betrayed him? We were just friends. Weren’t we? I wasn’t sure what we were, but that classification didn’t seem right. Whatever we were I knew I’d hurt Tyler again and I didn’t know how to face him.