Love Will (47 page)

“Thanks for having my back.”

“So what did it? And I know it wasn’t rubbing one out–no way in hell you’ve gone two weeks without–”

“Per, we will
never
be good enough friends to discuss that, all right?” I tell him, laughing as we enter the bar. Before we make it to the table, I admit to him what happened. “I told her I love her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I knew when I put her on that plane back to Minneapolis that something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Everything was great over the holidays. My family loved her. She fit in perfectly. We had a great time together. Had one minor disagreement but worked it out. We even talked about the PhD program and where that’ll take me over the next two years, and she was okay with it all.

“Something wasn’t sitting right with me, though. I realized I hadn’t been completely open and honest with her, like I’d been up until that point. So, I just laid it out there for her.”

“And?”

“
And
she was happy about it. She said she loves me, too.”

He stops and looks around. “Did we just walk into a hair salon or a bar?”

“Man, fuck you! You asked.”

He laughs and puts his arm around me. “I’m happy for you.”

“Ben, find a chair for Will,” Damon says as we walk up to the table set for four.

“I’ll get my own,” I tell him, walking a few tables over and stealing a barstool.

“Rangers are up by two,” Tavo says, nodding at a big screen behind me.

“Feeling rested?” Ben asks.

“Like a new man.”

“We ordered for you,” our drummer says as he nods to the waitress behind me. I lean to the side, allowing her to set two plates down in front of me.

“A hot dog and a taco,” I say, nonplussed.

“A wiener and a
soft
taco,” he corrects me.

“This was your idea, I presume.” He nods. “Just a plain hot dog?” Tavo picks up a bottle of mayo and adds a dollop to the tip of it. “What are you,
four
?”

“What? You got sex on the brain, dude. I can’t help that,” he quips.

I scrape off the condiment and grab the mustard, deciding to eat what they ordered for me, no matter how immature Tavo’s intentions were.

“Do we have a set list for the show?” I ask, trying to change the subject. Ben hands me his phone, and I scan over the note he’s pulled up for me. “Are we recording anything tonight?”

“I thought I’d set up to record the whole thing. I was reading online that the acoustics in this place are killer.”

“I saw that, too. If you want, I’ll head up there early to scout it out and do some tests with you.”

“Cool.”

“So, Will,” Peron says. “You mentioned something about the PhD program. What’s up with that?” Everyone’s eyes are on me as they wait for an answer. By now, they all know about the European tour, and the fact that I’m not joining them because I want to go back to school, but I’d promised them I’d play with them as much as I could locally or in the states on breaks.

“Well, NYU has a new partnership with the Center for Space Science, so I’d be spending part of my time in Manhattan and part of my time…
there
.”

“Where is
there
?” Tavo asks, laughing. “In space?”

“It may as well be,” I answer. “It’s in Abu Dhabi.”

“What the… are you
serious
?” Damon asks.

“What does that mean for us?”

“It means my availability will be a little sketchy for the next couple of years, that’s all.”

“Shhhhit,” my best friend mumbles, putting down his fork and throwing his paper napkin on his plate. This isn’t exactly how I’d wanted him to find out.

“Let me buy you a drink,” I suggest, nodding to the main bar in hopes of talking to him alone. He follows me there and orders two whiskeys, neat. He shoots the first one, but palms the glass of the second, planning to savor it.

“What’s the time table?” he asks. I give him all the specifics and watch his reactions when he realizes I’ll be gone when they’re in the states, and they’ll be in Europe when I’m in Manhattan later this year. Once we’re done with this tour, I won’t see them again until September of
next
year, except maybe for the holidays. It’s enough to make
me
want to do a shot of whiskey. “Holy fuck, Will…”

“Sucks,” I say, feeling genuinely sad.

“I’ve never performed without you. It doesn’t just suck. It’s a giant unknown, you know? You and I feed off one another. We always have. I’ve been talking to the studio… trying to get them to offer you a lot of money to stick with me, man. I know it’s not what you want, but–”

“Damon, it’s not the money. I love playing for you. You’re my best friend and you actually have skill and charisma without being a total douchebag. I’m lucky that I had the opportunity to play for you in that talent show in high school, but I’ve got to get back into stars… into space… we’re on the cusp of so many things that will change the way we view the universe.

“Not many people have a mind
and
passion for it, Damon, but I do. I can’t waste it. And I’m not saying playing music is at all a waste of my time; it’s not. It has huge cultural significance, too. I would never give it up, but it has to go on the back burner while I get my PhD. I should have finished the program when I was in school, but the lure of paying off some debt was too much for me.”

“I know,” he says, finishing off his drink.

“I have no doubt I’ll still be writing and composing. Especially when I’m in Abu Dhabi.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be selling all that shit to the label.”

“Not necessarily. I’d have a quota for them, and it’s low. If there’s overage, I can funnel songs to you. Plus, so much of what I write is just meant for you. I write for your sound. I’ve been with you for so long that you’ve warped my fucking ears and you’re all I hear now,” I joke with him.

“But you bonus off extra songs, right?”

“I just told you, I don’t do this for the money. Plus, Damon. Friendship over money any day. You should know that about me.”

“Maybe we can play Abu Dhabi,” he says, signaling to the bartender for one more drink.

“You should definitely try. The city looks fucking
amazing
. At least come visit when you’re not recording or touring. I’ll need a distraction. I’ll probably need to be reminded what someone other than a science nerd looks like.”

“Shit, I’ll come visit and you’ll have those thick-rimmed plastic glasses and fucking skinny jeans rolled up at the ankles.”

“I don’t think the Center for Space Science turns people into
hipsters
, Damon. I think you’re a bit confused.”

“Just promise you’ll shave. No full beard or we can’t be friends anymore.”

“Right. It’s okay if I’m a mountain man, but bad if I’m a hipster.”

“It’s all in the attitude. And the shoes.”

“You know Shea has a thing for facial hair…”

“Shea,” he says. “What does she think about all of this?”

“She’s naturally a little iffy about it, but I’m hoping that I can convince her to move to New York after the tour anyway.”

“Whoa. That’d be a huge leap of faith, don’t you think?” he asks.

“Absolutely, it would be. But I think we’re both ready for the pole vault.”

“Even though last night you were ready to go jump into someone else’s pussy?”

“I didn’t go through with it. I wouldn’t have,” I tell him, and in doing so, tell myself. “It was a moment of weakness, and I admitted it to her, anyway. That has to be good for
something
,” I tell him. “I feel
different
today. We had a good talk last night, and I feel strong again. Some things just needed to be said.”

“Do I have permission to kick your ass the next time you even remotely think about hooking up with someone else? Because now that I know Shea, I know she deserves a good guy and not some skeeze who’s gonna fuck around on her.”

“Why’d you offer, then?”

“It was a test. Plus, the second she’s single, you know… she’s gonna need some consoling…”

“You fucker,” I say, squinting my eyes at him.

He grins at me. “I
wouldn’t
, but it would be one of the biggest acts of kindness one man ever did for another in the
history
of man. A true display of our bromance. Trust me. I kick myself every day for staying in that hotel room and wasting my time on that video game with Tavo when I could have had the chance of meeting her first.”

“Chance of meeting her? Sure. Chance of winning her over? Don’t think so. She’s got it bad for me.”

“Is she particularly sympathetic to poor white boys from broken homes?”

“Yeah, I’m just one in a long string of them,” I respond sarcastically.

“It’s got nothing to do with Big Willy?”

“He hasn’t
disappointed
her.”

“Well, then I could introduce her to the Demon.
Then
she might be disappointed in Willy.”

“Hey, I’m pretty blessed for a white guy.”

“
For a white guy
,” he says with a hearty laugh.

“You could be average for a black guy, that’s all I’m saying. By the way, if you ever show your cock to my girl, you can kiss it goodbye, and it won’t have anything to do with me. She has a set of really sharp knives and she knows how to defend herself. She’s told me multiple times.”

“‘Cause she’s a chef…” he says.

“Or a ninja. She has
many
talents of which you will never, ever know–because, oh! You were playing a fucking video game with Tavo and
I met her first
.”

“Hey, bartender!” Damon calls out. “Can you get Little Willy here his tab? Thanks!” He puts his hands on my shoulders. “Love ya, man,” he whispers in my ear before returning to the table. While I wait for my check, I text Shea.

- How are you?

- - I miss you more today than normal.

- - How did you sleep?

- I don’t know if I would call it sleep.

- I think I was unconscious for about eleven hours.

- - I guess that’s an improvement.

- Vast improvement.

- Wish I had been sentient enough before I fell asleep to put on underwear.

- Could have saved me from unnecessary embarrassment.

- - Come on. You’ve seen one sexy ass, you’ve seen them all, right?

- I’m not sure Peron shares your sentiment.

- - It’s Peron. He’s had limited ass visibility, right? He was with Brooke for a long time. How was her ass?

- You really want me to answer that?

- - Surely you can think of the right answer.

- It wasn’t nearly as hot as yours.

- - That’s my man. :)

- Just so you know, that is a true statement.

- I want to be clear.

- - Thank you. You’re not alone again, are you?

- No, no, no! I’m at a sports bar with the guys having lunch and a heart-to-heart with Damon… well, a heart-to-tiny-speck-of-something-that-pumps-blood-to-his-vital-organs.

- - Awwww, Damon’s sweet!!

- - Don’t say that!

- Shit, he’s already gotten to you…

- - What do you mean?

- He threatened to swoop in to be your knight in shining armor if I ever hurt you. He said that he wished that he’d met you first.

- Don’t worry, I told him he would have had no chance in hell with you.