Love Will (44 page)

“Jack, Emi, thank you for coming.” I embrace them both, still looking around the room for their daughter and Shea. “Did you see where Livvy went?”

“She and Jon took Shea outside for some fresh air.” Mom pats me on the back as I walk away. That’s not a good sign, and I take a deep breath before leaving the back door of the restaurant.

The women are leaning against the back of Jon’s car. Shea’s got her arms crossed in front of her chest, already taking a defensive posture. My brother steps back as I approach, giving me space to talk to her. I squat down in front of her, holding her hands in mine.

“You’re upset with me,” I state, don’t ask.

“I want specifics.”

I nod my head, feeling everyone’s eyes boring into me. “I go to Abu Dhabi from June to August. I’m back until early January of next year, and then I’m gone until August, but that’s the worst of it, I swear. After that, I come back, finish out my studies, and then I just have to go one more time to present my thesis… that’s only a week or so. They’re doing me a favor by letting me in. I missed the applications deadline, but… well, they think they’ll probably name a building after me at NYU someday or some bullshit, so I didn’t even have to ask twice. It’s the Center for Space Science. It’s a big deal… a fellowship, so I don’t pay for anything, and Perihelion said they’d help me with anything over and above what the school provides.

“My professor said they want to work with me as badly as I want to work with them. Shea,” I say to her, “I know it’s not
exactly
what we talked about. I thought I would be here going to school, but that’s not an option.”

“Where does that leave me?” she asks.

“We still have time to think about things,” I remind her, “but if you ask me today, I’d want you to look for a place to work
here
… and move
here
.”

“I can’t afford to be here on my own.”

“I’ll help you.” I remember the check that Mike just gave me, recalling how nice the bonus was last year, and pull it out of my jacket. After tearing open the envelope, I smile at her. “I’ll be able to rent a decent place. I’ll be getting some royalty checks starting in the summer for Damon’s new album. The school gives us a stipend for housing while we’re here… and I bet this is one of those things Perihelion would help with. I’ll still be doing consulting with them while I’m in the city.”

“Don’t forget the payments from the royalty deal the record company offered you,” Jon says.

“If I take it, yeah,” I say. Everyone looks shocked now. “I haven’t decided if that’s the right thing for me, that’s all. I have time to figure that out, too.”

“Shea, we can always help, as well,” Livvy says.

“Hell, no, I wouldn’t let you help with that,” Shea says, nearly laughing as she says it.

“We wouldn’t let things fall apart,” Jon adds. “That’s all we’re saying. Anything for my brothers. That’s how we live around here.”

I stand up and shake his hand.

“And, I mean… maybe you all could come visit or something,” I suggest.

“I’m definitely going,” Jon says. “I’m pretty sure that’s a write-off for my company, with all the amazing architecture they have over there. I would love to be accompanied by my wife and my brother’s girlfriend… Shea, surely you have a birthday coming up in the next year.”

That gets a giggle out of her. “In May,” I tell him on her behalf.

“Well, I don’t think Livvy and I can go this year since Willow beat Will to the punch with her plans… but if you’d like to get a head start this year and give him a nice send-off, consider it our gift to you. Then we can all go and visit him next year when he’s really homesick.”

“It’s only three months this year.”

“Yes, but after we’ve already been apart while you’re finishing up the tour,” she says.

“Are you getting used to be around me or something?” I ask.

“So what if I am?”

I grin at her. “It would make me happy if you were.” As Livvy grabs Jon’s hand and leads him back into the restaurant, I take my sister-in-law’s place against the car. “Because I have loved every moment we’ve been together this week. And even when you’ve been off with Liv and away from me, I’ve loved those moments, too, because you’re just becoming more and more a part of my life. Everyone adores you, Shea.
Everyone
.”

“Everyone?”

“Me, included.” She reaches for my face and brings me in to kiss her. It’s one of those dirty kisses we probably shouldn’t do in public, but we’re doing it anyway, and I don’t mind a bit. If someone wanted to televise
this
, I wouldn’t be ashamed at all–because it’s with
her
. “One other thing,” I say once we part for a breath, “I want you to come see me again while we’re on tour. I’d love for you to meet up with me… maybe in Colorado.” I don’t tell her why yet, but I’d love to have her at my side when I go to confront my father. “That’s only a little more than a month out. Do you think you could do that?”

“As long as I haven’t found a job yet…”

“Are you still going to look for one in Minneapolis?”

“I probably should.”

“Please consider New York.”

“Let’s see how the next three months go.”

“Don’t you know how they’re going to go?” I ask her, pulling her up and wrapping my arms around her. She shakes her head, but smiles at me curiously. “I do.”

“All this time, I thought you said you were into astronomy… you were saying
astrology
? Are you one of
those people
?” she asks, trying to push me away from her playfully, but I don’t let her go.

“Yes, because like I’ve told you,
astrologists
don’t lie.” I maintain a straight face. “Aries and Taurus make a good match… the next three months are going to be smooth sailing. There will be vast amounts of phone sex,” I tell her softly before I nip at her ear, “where I recite fucking romantic song lyrics that may or may not be written by me, but are guaranteed to get you off every time.”

“No song with the word
tenderoni
gets me off, just to be clear,” she teases me.

“Okay, some of
P.Y.T.
’s lyrics sound hot when you say them with the right tempo and voice. I was getting somewhere with you until you realized what I was quoting.” We both start laughing, remembering one night from a few weeks ago. “Anyway. I’ll send you funny quotes Tavo says when he’s drunk or what stupid thing gets uptight-Ben’s panties in a wad. We’ll have video chats where you’ll tell me the latest about your cousin’s quest to find the perfect woman, which I think is pretty hot.”

“Cute lesbians will
never
want to hook up with you,” she reminds me. “I don’t know why guys think lesbians are so hot.”

“I can’t answer that. By the way–I’m just messing with you and playing into stereotypes. I’m into monogamy. And they’re
not
hotter than you. I hope I didn’t give you that impression.

“No, the way you look at me… I never have any doubt about your attraction to me.”

I glance down at her, unsure. “Is that a bad thing?”

“I love the way you look at me. And you know what I love more? Something that I’ve noticed since I’ve been here with you?”

“What?”

“You don’t look at any other woman the same way. I’d been worried about that since the first time you did it. But you don’t.”

“And how do I look at you? I don’t, like, undress you with my eyes every time I see you, do I? I mean, I do, but you can’t tell, can you?” I tease.

“Well,” she says, “you
do
look over my body, but it’s not tawdry, or creepy… it’s just the right amount of time. You stand up a little taller. You spend most of your time glancing between my lips and my eyes, with a hint of a smile on your face. Most smiles start from the lips and reach the eyes, but not this one. This particular one starts in your eyes, and sometimes it will reach for the corners of your mouth and pull them up just the slightest, but most of the time, the contentedness stays in your eyes. You don’t blink at a normal speed. It’s slower. Like you’re taking more time to focus on me. When you do it, I feel admired.
Revered
.

“You’re doing it right now. I love it,” she whispers.

I love you
.

I kiss her quickly as my heart pounds an unfamiliar rhythm in my chest. The thought was there. The feeling was, too. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but the air required to produce the noise is now being stolen by her kiss. Not stolen, per se. I’m willingly giving it to her because I’m afraid of those words.

But I’m not afraid of the kiss.

“Just consider New York. You know you like it here.” She nods her head. “You know you like me.” She runs her fingers through my hair and looks up at me sweetly. “I have a good feeling about us.”

“Us?” she asks softly.

“Us.”

Before we’re able to kiss again, someone tugs hard at my jacket, causing me to stumble backwards. I turn around to see Ben, with Lola standing two feet behind him. “What the fuck, man?”

“You gotta warm up.”

I look at my watch. “Yeah, fine, but do that again and my natural impulse to knock out your two front teeth’ll kick in. Next time, just call my name, dickweed.”

“Is this how we’re gonna kick off the second leg?” he asks. “You’re three minutes late. Get to the stage.”

I stare at him with my shoulders squared, not liking the way he’s barking orders at me. Shea slips her hand in mine and starts pulling me with her as she walks toward the building. She gives Lola a once-over when she passes her, causing Lola’s cheeks to blush bright red and her eyes to meet mine with worry. I look away with a smirk, and laugh to myself when I hear Ben ask her what’s wrong.

“What was that look?” I ask Shea, putting my arm across her shoulder as we make our way to the club.

She shrugs. “It’s just what women do. When their men get into it, they have to protect their territory, too. She just looks like the type that’d go after a guy like you, so that was my way of telling her that, uh… we’re an
us
.”

I’m not surprised by her perceptiveness, and there are about two seconds when I wonder if I should come clean about Lola, but she’s in my past, and Shea doesn’t want details of my past.

“Ben gets off on power, doesn’t he?” she asks.

“He’s just jealous because he has no real talents. Those who can, play. Those who can’t, manage and act like fucking assholes to those who can.”

“Does he treat Damon that way?”

“Fuck, no. Damon’d fire his ass. He doesn’t treat me that way when Damon’s around, either. Karma’ll find him someday, and I’ll just happily step aside and watch.”

“Would you really hit him?”

“If provoked, yeah.”

“Have you hit people before?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Never a woman.”

“But you’re a fighter?”

“
And
a lover,” I joke with her, not really comfortable with this conversation. She looks at me reproachfully.

“Recently?”

“Most recently, I punched my brother over the summer. Do I regret it? Yes.”

“Jon?”

“Yeah,” I say as we reach the stage. “While we’re warming up, you can go make Jon squirm and ask him what we were fighting about.”

“If I ask him if he deserved to be hit, how will he answer?”

I put on my guitar and think about it, but Damon answers for me. “Yes. He’ll say yes.”

I agree with him. “He admits when he’s wrong.”

“I don’t like violence,” she says just before Tavo counts us in to our first song. She waits until I acknowledge what she’s said with a head nod before she leaves.

After the show, the guys and I stick around the venue and discuss our plans for the next part of our tour. Jon and Livvy offered to take Shea home since Mom and Max left before the show, which is a good thing since Lola’s still hanging around in true groupie fashion. On more than one occasion, I catch her looking at me.

“Peron, let’s talk about the songs we’ve written on tour and decide what we want to do with them. We now own the copyrights… do we sell them to the label?” I ask him.

“Why is this band business?” Ben asks.

“It’s
band business
because Peron and I are a part of this fucking band, Ben, unlike your rhythmless, tone-deaf ass,” I snipe back.

“Hey,” Damon says, stopping us from going any further. “Ben, if they sell them, I can’t perform them. If they don’t, it’s something we can add to the shows. Yeah?” He looks at me for a response.

“Right.”

“What are you thinking?” Peron asks.

“Shit, if this was a month ago, I’d be selling anything anyone wanted for a little extra cash… but now, we’re making good money on the tour, and the songs feel like they belong to all of us, not just me and you, you know?”