Love Therapy (Stanton Falls #2) (10 page)

Donna settled on the
sofa, dialed Nick’s number, and waited for him to pick up.  After the
third ring, he finally did

“Hey Donna.  I was
just about to call you actually.  Is everything ok?”

“Yeah.”

“I just wanted to make
sure because I went by your office and they told me you had left for the day
early in a bit of a rush.  Are you sure everything is cool?”

Donna was silent for a
few seconds.  She really didn’t call him to unload her problems of the day
on him.  She just wanted to hear his voice and the peace that it gave her.
 She tried to respond to him without letting the sound of muffled tears
through but she couldn’t hold them back.  

“Donna?  Are you
crying?  What’s going on?  You have to talk to me.”

“Ok.  I didn’t want
to bother you with this but…”

Donna paused for a
second, hearing traffic in the background noise of his phone.  

“Nick are you driving?
  Aren’t you supposed to be at work now?”

“I was.  I actually
was out because I wanted...never mind that for now.  Donna tell me what’s
bothering you.”

She remembered he had
just said he went by her office.  It was a Friday so he would have
expected her to be there for a few more hours at least.  He must have been
surprising her with lunch.  She thought he was so sweet.  Too bad he
caught her on one of the saddest days she could remember in a while.

Boy can I be such a
downer at times.

“Ok so here goes.
 I’m sure that by now you recognize that I really don’t talk to you that
much about my father.”

“I wondered about that
but figured that if it was something you ever wanted to talk to me about, then
you would do so when the time was right.”

“Actually the timing
sucks right now but you’re the only person I can talk to about it.  My mom
doesn’t understand.  In fact she’s a big part of the problem.”

Donna took a deep breath
just to stay calm.  She didn’t like her father but was completely angry
with her mom right then.

“Oh boy do I hate
crying.”

“I know.  Just talk
to me.  That’s all you have to do.”

“Where was I?”

“Father.”

“Of course.  So
he’s been in prison for the past few years.  Nothing too much really.
 Just a series of repeated bad issues and a no nonsense judge that was
apparently afraid that people were taking him too lightly.  He made an
example of my father and sent him to jail for several years.  Frankly I
don’t even know how much time he has left in there.  I was relieved to be
out from under his anger.”

Donna shivered at the
thought of her father in one of his tantrums.  She noticed that Nick was silent.
 Issuing the occasional ‘
mmhmm
’ or ‘I see’ form
of support.  She was glad for having him, right then especially.

“He was travelling down
a really slippery slope and I figured that I’d never have to worry about him
again.  I didn’t want him in my life anymore.  I actually never even
went to visit him once and I’m not going to in the future.  So I was in my
office today after just finishing up a session and out of the blue, he calls
me.”

“What?!”

“My sentiments exactly.
 I never even gave him my number.  He got it from my mother.
 She gave it to him even though she knew that I didn’t want to talk to
him.  When he told me he had gotten it from her I asked him why he called
me.  He said that my mother had told him that I didn’t want to talk to him
but that it’s not her place to do that.  He said that he wanted to be in
my life and that if I was going to refuse him the chance to earn my
forgiveness, the least I could do was tell him myself.”

“Wow.  What did you
do with that?”

“You know me Nick.
 What do you think I did?”

“You didn’t, did you?”

“You know I did Nick.
 I laid into him.  I told him right then and there that I didn’t love
him and that I didn’t ever want to talk to him again.  I told him that it
was fine if mom wanted to forgive him but that it wasn’t in my heart.  He
told me that he didn’t think I meant it and I told him that I did and that I
never even asked him to call in the first place.  Then I… hung up.”

“Hmmm.  Harsh, but
I understand why.  You have been through a lot with him.  I have to
ask you though, how do you feel about it?”

“I’m ok with it.
 It’s been a long time coming.”

“I get that, but how do
you really feel about it Donna?”

Donna was confused.
 She’d already told him how she felt.  

“I don’t get what you’re
asking me.”

“Donna, I’m not the
therapist here and I don’ claim to be.  You are so much better than I
could ever be at your job but let me ask you something.  If one of your
clients came into your office right now with the level of emotion and pain that
you just expressed to me, would you believe that they were anywhere near ok
about what they had just experienced?”

“No.  But it’s
different.  I deal with this on a regular basis. I became a therapist so
that I could help myself through my motions.”

“That’s just the thing
Donna.  You cried about everything in the past, but not about letting him
go now.  Here is this man that was a big part of your life.  He was
instrumental in you becoming the woman you are today, whether good influences
or bad.  How could you say that you never want to talk to him again and
not feel something? There is no remorse.  No sadness in your voice. You
just say it pretty matter-of-factly.  All the pain and sorrow you had went
away completely with that question.  How could that be?”

“Because it is Nick.
 It just is how it is.  You know, I have been with this since I was a
little girl Nick.  This pain has been with me all my life.  I’ve had
to carry it forever.”

Donna sat balled up on
the couch, poised to cry again.

“For years, I’ve had the
most horrible dreams about him.  I would wake up in the middle of the
night sweating, scared, and crying.  Sometimes I would even wake myself up
with my own screams.  See it’s not that I don’t care Nick.  I do.
 The whole truth about it is that I am just all cried out over him.”

“I had no idea you went
through so much growing up Donna...”

“Yeah, well I try not to
wear it on my sleeves.  Like a sign saying look how messed up I am,
hashtag thanks dad.”

She chuckled a bit at
her own poorly timed joke, surprised that she could find humor.  She was
even more surprised when she thought of Nick’s next question.  

“And the dreams.
 That’s something else.  You still have them now?”

Donna began to
immediately answer without thought.

“Yes.  I mean to
this da--”

Donna stopped
mid-sentence.  She hadn’t realized it until just that moment but it had
been at least a few weeks since she had experienced one of her recurring
nightmares.  She couldn’t’ believe it but apparently there was some kind
of breaking away from its grip that was happening in her life.  

“Donna…”

“I’m sorry Nick.
 I’m still here.  It’s just that I didn’t notice until you asked, but
it’s actually been a while since I had one of those horrible dreams.”

Donna heard a car pull
up outside her apartment and could barely see its shape through the vertical
blinds.  

“Hold on.  It looks
like someone is outside.  Wait.  Is that you?”

“Actually yes it is.
 May I come in Donna?”  

She opened the door and
there he stood, his warm and caring smile looking down at her.  She
started to speak into the phone again before recognition hit her that she
didn’t need it anymore since he was right there talking to her face to face.

“Yes, but what are you
doing here?  Shouldn’t you be at work now?”

She stepped back as he
walked into the apartment, closing the door behind himself.  

“Well, when you called
me earlier, I happened to be out.  I was picking these up for you.”

Nick produced the
bouquet of flowers for her, and her face lit up the tiniest bit as she saw the
work of art that he presented to her. Something about flowers, especially
lilies, always made her feel like everything was ok.  She would always
remember a scripture her mother told her about God caring about flowers and
taking care of them and how He wanted to do so much more for us.  Well she
hadn’t believed God had been much on her side for a while but with that, she
had to admit that He seemed to have impeccable timing.  

“These are magnificent.
 Thank you so much.  You really are the best.”

“I know.  Now when
you told me your story
,  I
thought that there
might be something else that you need just as much, if not more.”  

“Oh I don’t know.
 This was pretty perfect for the time being.  What else could you
give me that’s
better.
”

“This.”

Nick took the flowers
from her hands, placing them on the center table. He turned towards her and
hugged her.  Softly he hugged her.  He didn’t say anything.  He
just let her be.  In that moment, she felt like a little girl again.
 
Only, instead of being afraid right there and
then--she was overjoyed.  

The result of his gentle
embrace was something that she did not expect.  In fact, she hadn’t done
that in years in front of another person but she couldn’t contain herself
anymore.   A fit of crying had overtaken her.  At first her sobs
were faint--sniffles even.  As she cried, he held her tight and told her
not to worry.

That was when it
happened. She didn’t have to be strong enough to carry her own burden anymore.
 There he was, offering a shoulder to cry on.  And she did.  She
found relief as she buried her head in his chest to drown out her sobbing.
 She figured that she cried for what had to have been several minutes.
 All the while, Nick stood there strong, patiently rubbing her back and
reassuring her.  

“It’s going to be ok”

She silently responded
in her tears.  

I know.

“I’m gonna be here for
you Donna.”

I know.

“You don’t ever have to
be scared or sad like that again.  We will make it through, together.”

Her sadness began to
give way when she came to the conclusion that she actually believed what he was
saying.  Finally, she had calmed down enough to be able to verbally
respond.

“I know Nick.  I
know, and ...thank you.”

“You’re welcome, babe.
 You are welcome.”

Looking up at him, she
smiled.  She felt a lot better now.  There was something about him
that made her feel like everything really was going to be ok.  For years
she had thought that every man as going to be like her father was to her mother.
 She was glad that she didn’t have to live in a world like that because
she had Nick in her life.  For her, he was the ultimate in care and
comfort.  A direct contrast to the reason she had been crying just minutes
before.  

A few minutes later, she
backed away just enough to look into his eyes and softly whisper to him.

“Thank you.”

Before he could respond
that she was welcome, her eyes opened up wide and Donna jumped out of his arms
quickly.

“Oh no!”

She covered her face and
ran into the wash room.

“What’s wrong?”

“I must look like a
monster to you!  My makeup is running and my hair is a mess.”

Donna ran into the bathroom and freshened up, glad
that she had a man in her life that overshadowed her father enough to make her
act like that.  It may have taken something bad like that to happen, but
she was realizing just how important Nick was to her.  She combed her hair
into a bun and then made her way back into the living room--where Nick was.