Love Song Series Box Set (29 page)

“Where are they?” I ask, trying to keep the fear that is coursing through my veins out of my voice.

“I think I saw them heading toward the rec-room. You should give them a few minutes though. Maybe he’ll ask her out. Lord knows Julie needs a date almost as bad as you do. Wouldn’t that be cool, Julie dating your brother? They could get married. Then, y’all would be like sisters or something.”

I don’t even take the time to respond to her suggestion before racing out the door and running downstairs. My stomach violently churns when I grasp the brass knob of the rec-room door, which is the only thing that is currently separating me from the nightmare of my past. Taking a deep breath, I quickly twist the knob and step into the room.

Dean is squatted down on the ground, eye level with Julie’s daughter. He’s rubbing his hand over her brown baby curls. The sight of him touching her sends chills up my spine. Snapping out of my stupor, I rush over to them and grab Jenny out of his reach. “Dean, what are you doing here?”

“I came to visit my beautiful sister. Why else would I be here?” he answers me, as he smoothly rises to his feet, his eyes
instantly connecting with Julie’s. “Now, I have met someone else to visit.”

I hug Jenny closer to my chest and look over toward Julie. She’s looking at Dean with a shy smile on her face, and I can already tell she is attracted to him. I know any man would have to be dead to not be attracted to Julie, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he wants her. Dean usually gets what he wants. Unfortunately, I would know.

I close my eyes and say a quick prayer. Lord, please don’t let Julie fall for his lies.

I shake off my memories when I hear Sherri calling my name.

“Bethany,” she says, giving my arm a squeeze. “You can’t blame yourself for what your brother did, not to me or to his wife. Most importantly, don’t blame yourself for what he did to you.”

I shake my head and take a step away, then lie right to her face. “I don’t.”

She starts to say something else, but I turn and run away. As much as I liked Sherri, the last thing I need today is her filling my head with memories of Dean. He is dead and buried, and I want everything about him to stay buried with him. I don’t want him to be part of my life anymore, not even in my memories.

I make my way to Jenny, but stop as I near her. I see Brandon wrapping his large hand around hers. “Come on, tater bug. Let’s get to our seat.”

She smiles up at him. “Why did you call me tater bug?”

A boyish smile spreads across his face. “When your momma was little, Aunt Angie used to call her tater bug. You remind me of her back then, so it just seems to fit.”

“Everyone says I look like dad, not Momma.”

“You look a lot like your dad, but you act like your mom.”

It’s obvious that neither he nor she even realizes I am near. They’re in a world of their own, uncle and niece. This morning, I thought he was intruding on the special day I had planned for Jenny and me. Now, I realize that I’m the one intruding. I stop in my tracks and let them walk away, feeling a pain radiate through my chest.

I look toward the exit and wonder if I should leave. Just as I start to take a step away, I hear a little voice coming from behind me. “Come on, Aunt Bethy. It’s going to start.”

Shaking away my thoughts of running, I turn toward Jenny and Brandon, keeping my gaze directly on her. “I’m coming, sweetheart.”

The circus lasts nearly three hours, and each of the one-hundred and eighty minutes passes by at a snail’s pace. When the lights finally come back on, I grab Jenny’s hand. “Come on, baby.”

The walk to the car is filled with stories of all the amazing things Jenny saw. I start to laugh as she goes on and on about the bear in a tutu. My laughter dies abruptly when I notice Brandon watching me. His anger has faded some, but it’s still present under the surface.

Wanting to get this day over as quickly as possible, I give Jenny’s hand a gentle tug. “We have to hurry. I don’t want you missing dinner.”

Nearly an hour later, I stare straight ahead as we drive down into Cromwell. The car is quiet, only the sound of the radio playing softly breaking the silence. Luckily, Jenny is asleep and has no idea of the tension in the car. I look at his reflection in the windshield and wonder how I could’ve been so wrong about him. In his letters to Julie, he seemed like some sort of knight in shining armor. In reality, he’s just an ass. Worse than that, he’s a handsome ass.

Why oh why, did I read those letters? Why did I have to fall in love with some figment of my imagination? I have to face the facts; I will never have Brandon, and I will never have a happily ever after. I’m going to be alone forever, and I have to learn to deal with it. It’s time I stopped pretending to be a heroine in some fairy tale that I made up in my mind.

I shake that thought away and whisper, “If you want to drop me off at my apartment, I’ll get Kristen to bring me to get my car later.”

“No need. I can take you to it now.”

I shake my head. “No thanks. If I go to Angie’s house now, she’ll want me to come in and chat about the circus. That would just mean you have to be around me longer, so I think it’s better for me to wait.”

He blows out a very loud and obviously very frustrated breath. “I don’t have a problem with being around you. I just have a problem with hearing about your brother. If that chick wouldn’t have brought him up, today would have been fine.”

“Well, I have a problem being around you, so I’d prefer to go home,” I say, not knowing where the words came from. Never before have I stood up for myself. I learned at an early age there wasn’t any point. That proved to be true the few times I tried to tell
someone what was happening at home. Nothing ever happened, well nothing good.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” he growls out, squeezing the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles are turning white.

I’m not sure where my courage is coming from, but I decide to go with it while I can. “I don’t like constantly being attacked, constantly reminded of how I failed my best friend. That seems to be the only thing you can talk about when I’m around, so I’d rather just not be around you.”

He’s quiet for a second before replying. “If you’re sticking around, we’ll have no choice but to be together occasionally, so you need to get used to it.”

He’s right. I won’t be able to ignore him forever. He’s Julie’s brother and Kristen’s cousin; we’ll be seeing a lot of each other. My only option is to stay away from Julie and Kristen, and that’s not going to happen. “Can we at least try being civil to each other? You don’t have to like me, but I ask that you not throw Dean in my face at every opportunity.”

“Me not liking you isn’t the problem.”

I turn in my seat, my body facing his side. “What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing,” he mutters. “I’ll drop you off at your house.”

After that, we’re quiet again and stay that way until I climb out of the car. As I’m walking into the house, his words replay in my head.
Me not liking you isn’t the problem.

Chapter Four

Looking through the array of frozen meals in the freezer section of the grocery store, my phone starts to ring. I pull it from my purse and see Shane’s name flash across the screen. “Hello.”

“Hey, I was just checking in to see if we were still on for this weekend.”

There’s a part of me that wants to tell him no; the same part that feels safer having book boyfriends than going out with a real live man, but I refuse to be that woman anymore. She died when she left Missouri, and the new me is going to live a little. “Yes, Shane. I’m looking forward to it.”

“Great, I’ll be at your place around seven.”

“Sounds good.”

“If you want, we can go to Nashville and hit Music Row?”

Hmmm, going on a date is one thing, but Music Row at night is another. I don’t think I’m ready for the whole bar scene just yet. “Are you okay with dinner and movie?”

“We can do that.”

He sounds so excited that I can’t help but smile. “Okay, I’ll see you then.”

“See ya.”

“Bye,” I say before sliding the phone back into my purse.

I grab some frozen lasagna from the freezer and toss it into my basket. Not paying attention, I turn around quickly and run into
the hard back of a man. “Sorry, excuse me,” I say quietly as I try to step around him.

“Not a problem.” I hear, stopping me in my tracks.

Taking a step away, I look up into the eyes of the man that has been on my mind since he dropped me off nearly a week ago. Scratch that; the man that has been on my mind since Julie read me the first letter.

“Oh, um, I…” The words stumble over my tongue, so I just give up and look down.

I hear him chuckle and force myself to look up, determined not to make an idiot of myself. I will speak to him, and I will do it without blushing. “What are you doing here?”

He looks downs at his basket then motions toward mine. “The same thing as you.”

“You’re grocery shopping?”

A smirk forms on his face before answering. “How else would I eat?”

“But you’re living with Angie and Mack, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m also a grown ass man. As soon as I can find a place, I’m moving out. Until then, I’m gonna help out. I’m not letting them take care of my ass.” His voice is defensive, letting me know I had offended him.

So much for not making an idiot of myself. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that Angie loves to cook for her family. I can’t imagine her letting you bring food in her house.”

His face softens as a smile plays across his lips. “She hates it, but she compromised. She and Uncle Mack won’t let me pay rent,
so she allows me to buy a few groceries every now and again. That way, I don’t feel like I’m such a mooch.”

“Uh huh,” I mumble, lacking anything better to say.

We stand there staring at each other, neither of us having any idea what to say. I finally take a step to the side, planning to walk past him. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

Before I can take a step, his hand wraps around my arm. “You and Shane going out?”

I stand frozen, surprised by his question. “Yeah, we are.”

He lets go and takes a step away. “If you change your mind about that date with him, give me a call.”

I stand there, stunned, as he walks away.
What just happened?

Chapter Five

It’s Friday night, I’m supposed to be getting ready for my date with Shane, but instead, I’m running around my apartment like a chicken with its head cut off! I have never been on a real date before, and I have no idea what to wear or how to style my hair. I’ve taken nearly everything out of my closet and tried it on twice, but nothing seems to be right and to make things worse, I now have clothes thrown all over the place.

I am shimmying into my black pencil skirt for the third time when I hear someone lightly knock on the front door. I hurry to finish pulling my skirt up and safely secure it in the back while walking to the front door. I quickly look through the peep hole and see that Kristen is standing on the other side, smiling back at me. I jerk the door open and grab her hand. “I am so glad you’re here. I need your help.”

Not even batting a lash, Kristen follows me to my bedroom and carefully looks over the mess that I’ve made over the past hour. “Did your closet explode?” she asks with a hint of laughter in her voice.

“I don’t know what to wear.” I sigh, exasperated as I plop down on the edge of the bed, causing a small avalanche of discarded clothing to fall to the ground.

“Ok girl, first things first. Where are you going?” she says as she clears a spot and takes a seat beside me on my bed.

“Well…I’ve got a date.”

Kristen pops off the bed in an instant and grabs my arm in a tight hold. “What? Saint Bethany has a date, a real date?” Her eyes are beaming with excitement, and I can already tell that the rest of the free world will be hearing about me scoring a date before I step foot out of my front door.

“Yeah, and I don’t know what to wear,” I say with a small smile.

Her grin beams brighter as she walks toward the massive heap of colorful fabrics on my bed and starts to sort through them. “I can help you find something.”

She takes a minute to look through all of the clothes before biting her lip and nodding her head in approval. “Brandon would love this,” she says, picking up my light green sundress.

“What!?” I ask, startled by her words and not fully understanding why she would bring him up.

“Oh, come on, Bethany. This is perfect.” She pushes the dress toward me. “You have to wear this dress. Brandon has always liked green. Plus, with your hair, green always looks great on you.”

I shake my head in confusion. “Why do I care what Brandon likes and doesn’t like?”

“Um, because you’re going out with him? Aren’t you?” she asks as a puzzled expression begins to fall across her face.

I shake my head again. “No, I’m going out with Shane.”

“Ohhh,” she replies, letting the word drag out before wiping her face clean of any emotion and shrugging her shoulders. “I just assumed it was Brandon.”

“Why would you assume that?” 

“Well, I saw the way you two were looking at each other during the wedding. I also noticed that he didn’t take his eyes off
you the entire time you were at the reception.” She smiles toward me and tosses her long locks over her shoulder. “I just figured that he had asked you out.”

“I am not going on a date with Brandon tonight. Scratch that. I’m never going anywhere with Brandon,” I state firmly, trying to hide the pain the words cause.

“Okay, it doesn’t sound like you like Brandon that much. What did he do?”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. It really isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Oh, come on and tell me. I know he can be an ass sometimes, but deep down, Brandon is a good guy.”

I snort at her description of him. “Good?”

She smiles her sneaky smile. “Then tell me what he did. Maybe it’ll change my mind.”

I don’t plan on telling Julie how big of an ass her brother is, but I know I can tell Kristen, and she’ll keep my secret. I end up telling her everything, starting with our time beside his truck and ending with the fiasco at the circus.

“Oh, wow! It sounds like he’s got it bad,” she says with a sharp laugh.

“Got what bad?” I ask, feeling more confused than I was before.

She smiles at me. “A bad case of the hots for you, babe.”

“You’re crazy. He hates me. He blames me for everything Dean did to Julie. There’s no way that Brandon would like me in this life or the next,” I huff as my heart twinges around its edges.

Kristen shakes her head before grabbing my hand. “No, Bethany, he doesn’t blame you. He blames himself. Brandon has always protected Julie. He hates that he wasn’t there when she needed him the most, and in turn, it’s causing him to take his anger out on you. He doesn’t hate you, Bethany. He hates himself.”

“It wasn’t his fault that Dean hurt her though,” I say in a shout, doing my best to defend him.

A sad smile forms on Kristen’s lips as she gives my hand an even tighter squeeze. “No, it wasn’t, but it’s not your fault either.”

“I should have warned her,” I whisper as tears begin to fill my eyes. I swear, I have cried more in the last week than I have in years. Dean taught me not to cry when I was just a kid. Now it seems like that’s all I do.

Kristen drops my hand and places both of her hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “You tried. You even tried to warn me. Neither one of us would listen. That’s not your fault. You’ve got to forgive yourself, darlin’, because I promise you that you did nothing wrong.”

I want to argue with her and tell her all of the things I should have said when Dean first started coming around, but I can’t. I’m just not ready for that yet. Instead, I pull her into a hug. “I am so lucky I have you and Julie in my life. You two are the best friends anyone could ever ask for.”

“No, girl, we are the lucky ones to have you. We love you, okay?” She pulls back and looks me in the eye. “That’s it, enough of this lovey dovey stuff. Let’s get you ready for your hot date!”

Kristen and I finally settle on a cream colored peasant blouse paired with a blue flowing skirt, nothing green, and nothing to
remind me of Brandon. After staring at my reflection in the mirror, I nod my head in approval, even though I think I look like a throwback to the hippy days.

Kristen assures me that I look great though, and to be honest, her persistence is exactly what I need because I would have never considered wearing this on my own. Finishing strapping on a pair of brown chunky sandals, I hear a knock at the front door. My heart immediately starts to race as I go to answer it. This is it. I cannot believe I’m going on a date, my first real date ever.

I take in a short breath before I open the door and see Shane standing on the other side of the threshold with a big smile plastered across his face. “Hey girl, you ready?”

I nod quickly in his direction and reach for my purse on the hook beside the door. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Shane takes a moment to look me up and down, and I’m guessing that whatever he sees must make him happy because his smile gets amazingly bigger. “You look beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look prettier. I hope it’s all for me,” he says with a wink.

His words release the pent up butterflies in my stomach, and I can’t stop the heat of blush from creeping across my cheeks. Quelling my panic, I finally smile and whisper a polite, “Thank you.”

I look back and see Kristen nearly hidden against the kitchen wall. She sticks a finger to her mouth, the universal signal for shhh, and waves goodbye. I lift my hand and paste on a nervous smile before walking out the door.

We make small talk as we walk toward his truck. He opens the door and helps me in. I have to admit, I am a little surprised to see that Shane is such a gentleman. Jase is a nice guy, but I would never describe him as a gentleman. I just assumed Shane would be a lot like Jase, guess I was wrong.

It takes a few seconds for Shane to make it around the truck and climb into the driver’s side. “I was thinking we’d head to The Shack and get a bite to eat. After that, we can go to the movies or something. I heard they’re doing a special Twilight marathon. Being that you and Julie are always talking about how much you liked the books, I figured you’d probably like the movies too.”

Wow. He really has been paying attention to me. I nod and give him a small smile.
“That sounds fun. I’ve seen Twilight and New Moon, but I’m dying to see Eclipse.”

“I haven’t seen any of them, so it’ll be a new experience for me,” he says with a chuckle. “But, I doubt we’ll make it in time for the first movie, so you better fill me in on what I will miss.”

I spend the next ten minutes giving him an in-depth description of the ins and outs of Twilight. Then, for some strange reason, I start explaining to him why I’m Team Jacob and why I really think Edward is a big douche. Julie has always been a Team Edward fan, and no matter how many times I’ve pointed out his many flaws, she refuses to switch teams. It’s caused many heated debates among us.

While I animatedly list off all of the reason why Bella chose the wrong guy, I notice every once in a while, Shane looks over and smiles. A few times, he asks questions or agrees with my points, but for the most part, he pretty much stays quiet. His well-timed nods
tell me that he is listening, even when he isn’t participating in the conversation.

Before I know it, we’re pulling up to The Shack. I start to open my door, but Shane shakes his head. “I’ll get it.”

My eyes follow him as he jumps out of the truck and makes his way around to the passenger side and helps me out. “Thank you.”

As we begin to walk toward the restaurant, I hear him start to chuckle. I look at him and ask, “What’s so funny.”

He smiles back at me with a small twinkle of mirth in his eyes. “You’re really serious about your vampires and werewolves, aren’t you?”

I can’t help but blush again. I’m such an idiot for bringing out my inner Twi-hard on the first date I’ve ever been on. “I’m sorry. I really don’t know what came over me.”

Shane grabs my hand and gives it a light squeeze. “I do. You’re starting to feel comfortable with me, and to be honest, I like it.”

I smile, knowing he’s right. I have never felt more comfortable around a guy before. Well, there’s Jase, but he’s not like a normal guy. He’s the man who promised to protect me. He’s also the man who eventually saved me from Dean. Jase is truly my hero and a better brother to me than my own blood has ever been.

Shane and I finally make our way into The Shack, hand in hand. Something about having him touching me puts me at ease, but that feeling disappears as soon as I see Brandon and Becca sitting in the far corner, looking as if they were engrossed in a pretty intimate conversation. The sight of him with someone else makes my heart ache. I know I have no right to feel this way, but knowing it’s wrong doesn’t take away the feeling that has blossomed inside of my chest. Part of me is ashamed that I’m on a date with someone as nice as Shane, and here I am, jealous that Becca is the one sitting with Brandon, instead of me.

Shane tugs on my hand, causing me to break my stare at the cozy couple and look up into his smiling face. The first thing that registers in my mind is that his smile is completely different from the one I saw just moments ago. This one is forced. I immediately know he caught me longingly staring at Brandon and Becca. “I’m sorry. I was just surprised to see them here.”

“Yeah, me too,” he says with a curt nod. “You want to go somewhere else?”

I am tempted to say yes, but instead, I shake my head. “No, here is fine. I’ve been looking forward to their fries ever since you mentioned coming here.”

“Their fries? The Shack has the best burgers in all of Tennessee, and you’re looking forward to the fries,” he says with a deep chuckle.

“What can I say? I’m addicted to them,” I answer with a roll of my shoulders and quickly bat my eyes.

He chuckles again at my antics before placing his hand at the small of my back and leading me to a table that’s as far away from Brandon and Becca as he can get. As soon as we’re seated, out of the corner of my eye, I notice Brandon looking at us. I casually turn my gaze in his direction, and I swear he looks as if he wants to kill someone with his bare hands. The problem is I’m not sure if it’s Shane or me that he’s angry with.

“Are you going to look at him all night?” Shane asks in a tone of voice that I have never heard him use before. I look back toward my dinner companion and flinch when I see anger reflecting back at me in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just…” I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly to calm my nerves. “There is no excuse for being so rude. I apologize, really.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Bethany. Just tell me what’s going on between the two of you.”

I shake my head. “There’s nothing going on between us. I promise.”

Shane stares at me for a few seconds before he reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “There is something. You may not know what it is, but it’s something. Just tell me what happened. You said he hurt you. Tell me what he did.”

“I really shouldn’t have said that. He didn’t hurt me, honestly. He just said some things that had bothered me,” I try to explain.

“What things?”

I fake another smile and do my best to change the subject. “Nothing important. Now, tell me how do you know that The Shack has the best burgers in all of Tennessee? Have you been traveling the state, eating burgers on the sly?” I try to keep a light tone in my voice and pray that Shane just lets it go and gets back to his normally happy self.