Love Me ~ Through the Storm (9 page)

He looks so pissed, not turned on at all like I hoped for. I shake free from his hold and go back to where we were all getting dressed. I’m so frustrated with him. I pull on a loose t-shirt over my outfit. I think, this means war—a sexual war!

13

Kane

I’m fuming.
What the hell is she trying to prove?
I wipe my hand on my pants because I spilled my beer when she started swaying and gyrating. Her dancing was the most sensual thing I’ve ever seen. That’s saying a lot since I own a porn production company. If I wasn’t here, who knows what might have happened to her, dressed like that. Moving her body like that. Letting the alcohol flow over her and down into my mouth. I’m about to explode in my jeans over sucking on her toe. Who does that?

She’s got me all tore up, acting like she wants me. Wanting me to see her like Lizzie? Oakley’s my world. She’s the breath I breathe. There is no me without her. I more than see her, I crave her. I want to crawl beneath her skin and live there forever.

I’m so fucking glad she put something on over that dress. I’d hate to go to jail tonight for killing someone if they tried to touch her. I wanted to pour acid in their eyes for merely looking at her. I bet that little pipsqueak, Keith, was sporting a chubby as soon as Oakley stepped on stage. He was probably doing unthinkable things to her in his mind.

I’m taking her home with me, and we’re going to get all of this shit straight. I should spank her ass, but that would probably make me want her more, and I can’t have her. I’m not going another fucking night with her acting like she wants someone to fuck her. Like she wants me to fuck her. She has to stop this because she’s still engaged.

All the way home, we’re quiet. We don’t say a word to each other.  The only sound I hear is a couple of huffs every now and then. I want answers from her, and I plan on making her talk to me, tonight.

Once at my condo, I open the front door for her and she places her purse on the kitchen counter. I pitch my keys in the silver bowl that sits on the table by the door.

“Well, that was one hell of a performance you put on tonight,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Oh, so you were watching? You didn’t seem very impressed so I guess it wasn’t up to your standards.”

“What in fuck’s sakes is that supposed to mean?” I pace back and forth in front of her. “Does that ring you have on not mean a thing to you? You’re wearing a guy’s ring, Oak. You’re promised to
him
, but that fucking dance…” I stop my pacing, running my hands through my hair.

“This stupid ring’s the problem?” Oakley holds up her left hand.

“You just don’t get it, Oakley. When you promise someone something, you fucking do it. If nothing in this world goes right, you keep your fucking promises.” I pound my finger into my chest, “You’ll never see me breaking a promise, Oakley, or doing something that makes someone break their commitment.”

“It’s not real, Kane. This ring means nothing to me. I never promised him anything.”

“It’s real to him and it must be real to you or you wouldn’t be wearing his ring.” I look down at the ring on her hand—that circle that binds her to someone other than me.

“How can you think that? I’m in love with you, Kane. I need you. I’m myself with you, and I know you love me, too. I feel it. Can’t you feel it, too?” She places my right hand above her breast, over her heart.

“You love me like your brother. I’m a source of comfort to you, that’s all.  You have a ring, Oakley. That’s an engagement, and that makes things pretty solid.” I remove my hand because it hurts to touch her when I can’t have her. I do love her but not in the sisterly way that I pretend.

“It’s just a ring, Kane. Why is it so hard for you to see that I love you?” She shakes her head.

“Just a ring? Where I come from, that normally means something. You don’t go around wearing a diamond for the hell of it. You
love
Quinn, or at least you did a few weeks ago. You told me that yourself.”

“I don’t love him, he was my consolation.” She looks down. “This?” She takes off the ring and holds it up. “This is what’s bothering you? I promise you, Kane, this circle with a stone on it, is nothing.” She lays the ring down on the table. “I didn’t want it then, and I don’t want it now.”

“Why do you have it then? Are you toying with his heart? Are you just trying to keep me hanging on, in case something doesn’t work out? Until he comes back for you?”
Or is it my heart that she’s playing with?

“I told him no, but he wouldn’t take that for an answer. He pushed the ring on my finger and said to give him an answer when he comes back on leave.” She tries to work herself into my arms.

“You’re technically still dating him, and he considers the two of you engaged. He’s coming back for you, Oakley.” I look into her eyes.

“Why aren’t you listening to me? What’s it going to take to get this through to you? I don’t want him; I want you. I love you. I didn’t know what love was with Quinn. Kane, that week without you in my life made me realize I love you. My heart has been missing you, just like it does my parents, Kane. That’s how I know I truly love you. This’s my promise. You’ll always hold the key to my heart. You and no one else.”

I can’t be wrong about this. She loves me. She’s told me she loves me several times now. I can’t believe I’m going to do this. “Then break up with him. If you wait until he comes back, Oakley, he’s going to be expecting to stay engaged. It would be cruel for you to drag it out. That is, if you’re certain, if you really mean what you’re saying, that your heart missed me.” I cup her face with my hands, looking her square in the eyes. I want her to know how I feel. “I want you, too, I want us. I love you.” I stroke her cheekbone with my thumb. “I want your heart, your mind, I want your soul.” I want her. There’s something about her I can’t stay away from. She’s like a mermaid singing her song and luring me to her. I’m under her spell.

Oakley takes her phone from her pocket and dials a number. Keeping her eyes locked on me, she puts the phone to her ear. She shakes her head. “Q, please call me as soon as possible. I can’t wear this ring, and I hate to do this over the phone. I’m in love with someone else, I should have told you when you were here.” She clicks the end button. “Will that work for you?”

I pull her into my arms, and wrap her up in a hug. 

“I’ve got to know what you really want from me, Oakley. I’m done guessing because I’ve been wrong so many times.”

“I want to be yours, Kane. Why can’t you see that? You love me, Kane. I know you do. I feel it. I see it in the way you look at me, in the way you care for me. You’re right, friends don’t treat each other like we do.” Oakley puts her arms around my neck.

This’s what I’ve longed to hear from her. I’ve needed this confirmation that she wants me as much as I do her. I lean down and Oakley stands up on the tips of her toes. Our lips meet in the middle. Gone is the tender sweet little peck I gave her last time. This time I kiss her with everything I have, and she is kissing me back with just as much intensity.

I finally get it. I finally know what it feels like to be loved by someone. I can feel it in her touch, in her kiss. I’ve come across so many people claiming to love me and want me, but I’ve never felt a fire in someone. She ignites a flame in me that is never going to be eradicated by another.

Oakley slides her fingers into my hair, anchoring me to her. I pick up one of her legs and pull her body against mine. She leans back a couple of inches, staring into my eyes. Her touch is like electricity, but I have to remind myself to go slow with her, even when it’s the last thing my body wants. Kissing her but controlling my need for her is essentially hopeless. I stop short of kissing her again, our mouths inches apart. I feel her sweet breath on my lips. I wrap her other leg around my waist. I want her, I want to take her right here, but we stand still holding each other in a trance.

14

Oakley

The phone call I had with Quinn didn’t go so well. He insists that I give him a chance. He said if I meant it, that I should tell him to his face. That he deserved at least that much. I know now, he was only an infatuation. He was someone for me to spend time with and not concentrate on my grief. I’m not sure if I should block him from contacting me because he needs to accept that things are over between us, but I want to remain friends.

I can’t believe I’m the one who practically asked Kane out. I don’t think he would have ever gotten the hint that I was in love him without me actually coming right out and telling him. Now, to escalate our relationship to the next level.

We kiss and cuddle now, which I love every minute of, but that is as far as he goes with me. That’s the way things were with Quinn. Are they both afraid that I’m fragile, that they’ll break me somehow? I’m tired of being handled with kid gloves. I’m ready for Kane to make love to me. He needs to take me and claim me for his own. I want that more than anything right now. How can I get him to recognize that he desires me just as much?

Good thing I’ve gotten close to my dorm mates because I need advice to get Kane to see me, see me like a woman.  I’ve called a mandatory meeting, of what I now am referring to as
Tainting My Virtue Meeting
. I’m certain my friends are better acquainted with arousing a guy's sexual mojo than I am. I can’t go to Bailey and Lizzie with this because they’d freak the hell out. Then Clay and Cash would know and who knows what would happen then.

“What’s up, girl? What do you need help with?” Noelle asks as she breezes through our bedroom door.

Noelle has the best fashion sense, always looking like she stepped off a runway. With the voice of an angel, body of a supermodel, and the luck of every single thing she wears looking great on her, she’s never without a date. My friend has the “it” factor and I want lessons.

“I need tips on getting a guy to see me as more than a friend,” I tell her. “But let’s wait until everyone else gets here though before we start.”

“The whole group? Sandy and Piper are just next door. Do you want me to get them?”

“We’re waiting on a couple of more people, too.” I hope that I’m not making a mistake by inviting guys to the meeting. “Keith and Corbin are coming, too. My thinking is if I want hard-core information, I need guys for that. Being a virgin, I need all of the confidence I can get.”

Sandy comes in with Corbin, Keith, and Piper.

“Wow. You’ve just blown my mind. I can’t believe you want these guys to tell you how to get your cherry popped.” Noelle’s eyes go wide, and a flush creeps across her face.

My face turns into a flaming inferno, and I bow my head as I swallow the lump in my throat. I guess now that Noelle’s outed me, I should feel relieved that I don’t have to skirt the topic. “I wasn’t planning on
broadcasting
that, Noelle, but now that it’s hanging in the air…” I rub my eye.

Looking over at the newly arrived guests, I see they heard every word. Sandy’s mouth is open wide, and I swear her eyes are even bigger. Corbin is covering his mouth with one hand, holding back a laugh, and Keith has gripped the side of his head, covering his ears. Piper simply stands there, shaking her head slowly.

“Do we need to give you girls a minute or two? Do you wish to continue a private conversation?” Keith says, offering a smile.

“Fuck that, I’m staying! I want to hear every detail of this.” Corbin slaps Keith on the back while he barks with laughter.

“Corbin! Be nice.” Sandy slaps the back of his head.

“I like it when you get aggressive, you know that.” Corbin pulls Sandy to him, holding her there.

“Um, do we need to give
you two
a few minutes?” Piper says, lifting her eyebrows.

Everyone laughs and takes a seat on the floor or one of our beds.

“That’s all it takes I hear,” Noelle says, laughing.

We all get tickled, everyone but Corbin.

“What did you tell them? I told you that was the first time that has ever happened.” He leans back from Sandy, narrowing his eyes.

“I didn’t tell them anything, you just did, dummy,” Sandy barely gets out between bursts of laughter.

“Fuck!” Corbin says, letting out a long breath. “Yeah, go ahead and laugh, but I wouldn’t laugh too hard, you know what they say about karma. I have her on speed dial.”

“Okay, anyone need something to drink?”  I open up the mini fridge to reveal the choices I have to offer. I grab some sodas for the guys and pass them out.

“So you want someone to pop your cherry? Is that what this little meeting is about?” Corbin pops the top on his soda. “Sorry, babe, I can’t help you with that, but I may know someone willing to take good care of you.”

Sandy rolls her eyes, “Oakley, what kind of help are you wanting?”

“Corbin, if I’d known you were going to act like this, you wouldn’t have been invited.”  I let out a long breath. “As you guys know, I broke up with Quinn two weeks ago.” I look around and they all nod in acknowledgement. “I’m seeing someone else and I’m ready to uh, well, um…” I’m not sure what words I want to use, but it won’t be “pop” or “cherry.”  “I’m ready to take things to a more mature, intimate level. He doesn’t seem to see me like a possible, uh, bedmate and I want to know how to change his way of thinking.”

“Who’s the lucky guy? Kane? If he can’t see you for the beautiful woman you are, then maybe he’s not worth your time.” Keith lifts his chin.

“Girl, you just have to go in confident, show him you’re a woman who knows what she wants,” Noelle tells me with a sassy headshake. “Act like you own it, wear some sexy lingerie and strip. Guys love shit like that. Am I right, guys?”

“Hell yeah, any guy in his right mind would be jumping all in that pussy,” Corbin says to me then adds, looking over at Sandy, “Ya know, if he’s not involved already with someone that rocks his nuts off.”

I choose to ignore Corbin and his obnoxious comments.

“I agree with Noelle.” Piper leans over, reaching for a bag of chips. “You need to entice him. Sometimes, you have to be blunt and to the point. Tell them exactly what you want, and if that doesn’t work, get the hell out of there.”

“He’s probably just a loser, Oakley. Don’t waste any more time even considering giving this asshole a chance.” Keith sticks his hands out for some of the chips.

“Just give him head, he’ll be putty in your hands,” Corbin says.

Keith draws in a slow steady breath. “Don’t you have football practice or need to go lift weights or something, Corbin?”

“All I’m sayin’ is, there isn’t a guy out there gonna say no to a girl wanting to slob his knob.” Corbin looks around, stuffs a few chips in his mouth, and asks, “Do ya got any dip to go with these chips?”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin to give…” I sigh loudly.

“Let’s go get ice cream cones and I can show you some pointers,” Piper says.

“You don’t use ice cream, you need bananas,” Noelle says, shaking her head.

“Shit, y’all should charge admission for this kind of meeting.”

“Corbin!” Sandy yells at him.

“I’d pay money to watch y’all licking on ice cream cones, but why don’t you watch some porn?” Corbin asks.

“That’s not very realistic is it?” I ask.

“No,” the girls all say together.

“You have to admit that it would be fun.”

“Corbin, you are impossible.” Piper throws a chip at him.

“Hey, I’m trying to help Oakley.”

“If you really wanted to help her, you would tell her to find someone who already knows that she’s a beautiful, desirable woman,” Keith tells him.

“I’m not looking for someone else, I love Kane, and he’s been here for me. I can always count on him for anything.” I let out a sigh, “ Ice cream sounds good, but I’m not going to eat it around Corbin, that’d be too weird.”