Love Me ~ Through the Storm (19 page)

31

Kane

Having children has never been on my radar. I didn’t think I had what it took to be a dad. Hell, I still don’t have what it takes to be a father, but knowing Gunner is my son makes me want to be there for him. Yeah, I’ve visited him on a weekly basis and I’ve gotten to be friends with his adoptive parents, but that doesn’t make me his father. I never even met my own father to my knowledge. Deb brought a rocker dude around some, but not often. I didn’t even see her that much, and she never said,
“Kane, he’s your father.”
So, who knows?

I have a chance to be something to someone now. I might not be a father to him, but I can be a freaking great uncle.

I had another session yesterday morning with Dr. Fowler—by myself this time while Oakley had class. Talking to her seems grounding, sort of. She makes me see things a little differently and consider other possibilities. I was upset at first that Oakley had tricked me into coming, but now a couple of weeks have passed, I feel much better and I’m glad I went through with it.

I stop in Walgreen’s across the street from the hospital to get a stuffed animal for Gunner. I’m meeting Jenie and Megan at St. Jude’s Medical Center in Memphis for his appointment. I had to get up at five a.m. this morning to make it here by nine.

Jenie gets up and meets me as I walk into the lobby at St.Jude’s. “Kane, thank you for the hotel room last night. It allowed Gunner to rest more without getting up so early.”

“It was no problem, Jenie. That’s the least I can do for you taking care of my…” What do I call Gunner? My son? Our son? “Gunner’s very special to me, I’d do anything for this little booger.” I hold out my hands. Gunner reaches for me and I pick him up.

“If only you felt the same way for his mother,” Megan speaks up.

“I’m very fond of Jenie,” I say because I really don’t have much patience for Megan. I narrow my eyes at her. “Jenie is the only mother Gunner will ever know. Not everyone is cut out to be a mom. You did Gunner a big favor by giving him up.”

Megan crosses her arms and turns away from us.

Kelvin, Jenie’s husband, walks through the door, holding a diaper bag with tiny blue elephants. He’s a big dude, but even he can’t make that look manly.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Kelvin gives me a fist bump.

“Ah you know, just driving a couple of hundred miles.” I grin at him because he’s a long distance truck driver and that distance is nothing for him.

“I can’t begin to tell you what this means to us, Kane. You stepping up and doing the genetic testing and then all the financial support.”

“Please, don’t mention it.” I feel like a creep as it is for not raising my own son. I don’t deserve any thanks.

“If you guys are done playing one big happy family, we need to go in for the appointment now.” Megan butts between us and walks toward the door.

Jenie has come back from checking in with the receptionist. “They want to see us in the geneticist’s office first. There’s something wrong with the test,” she says, biting the edge of her lip.

“Don’t go there, Sweetness, not until we get in there and talk to them.” Kelvin takes Jenie in his arms.

“Well, let’s not keep them waiting, let’s go see what they want,” I suggest. Gunner is still in my arms, and has finally taken the little stuffed elephant and is now is chewing on its ear.

Dr. Steven Isaacs’s office is on the second floor, and all the walls are painted bright vivid colors. Wooden toys sit on small tables with kid-sized chairs. I hope that Gunner grows up to be able to play at little tables like that.
God, please just give him a fighting chance, I’ll do anything you want.

“Hello, everyone, have a seat, please. I appreciate your time before your appointment,” Dr. Isaacs says.

“Hi, Dr. Isaacs. These are Gunner’s birth parents, they’re the ones who did the genetic testing you requested.”

“Kane Treadway,” I extend my hand before sitting down with Gunner.

“Mr. Treadway, do you have any brothers?” Dr. Isaacs asks.

“No, I’m an only child, at least from my mother,” I say.

“No?” The doctor wrinkles his forehead. “There’s no way you can be the father to Gunner, but you could be his brother.”

I let out a soft chuckle. “Excuse me?” What the hell is he talking about? “Am I not a match for whatever procedure Gunner needs?”

“You’re not a perfect match, but your father would be a better match. Is there a way we can get in touch with him?”

“Wait, my father? I haven’t a fuc—I don’t even know who my father is, sir. Are you sure you’ve read that paper correctly?” I feel a wave of nausea wash over me. I look over at Megan. She’s looking down with a hand on her forehead.

“Megan?” Jenie puts her hand on Megan’s shoulder. “Was there someone else, too?”

Megan wipes away a tear. “Yeah, there was this rocker dude. He said he had an in with Nashville Records, and he was always around watching the band.”

What the fuck is going on here? What the fuck, what the fuck!
I don’t hear the rest of the conversation because they all sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown. How the fuck did I not know that my father’s been around? Why the fuck didn’t he ever say anything? I feel deceived. Did Deb know this? Did Ruby know about this? Has everything been a lie all this time?

The next thing I know, Gunner’s crying and he’s being taken from my arms. Everyone is standing and shaking hands and leaving the office.

“Kane, are you okay?” Jenie asks.

“I’m not sure if I even know anymore, Jenie. Hey, I need to run. If I’m still a match or you need anything, call me. I need to…” I walk away without finishing my sentence.

I’m not sure how I make it to my car, but I pull onto Interstate 40 and nearly get hit by an eighteen-wheeler.

Who was always around the band that might have slept with Megan? I rack my brain, trying to figure out who Megan was talking about. Is this the reason Deb was in town so much? Ruby and I heard that she was in town, but we never saw her. Why wasn’t she with him when he was watching the band?

It’s not like we were ever a household name, but we had a fan base. Hell, we even played at the Bluebird, but I don’t remember anyone who was always there.

I go through each and every gig in my head, trying to remember each and every person who was there, people who would come up to us afterward. Not on the life of me can I picture anyone.

I hear a horn blow. I’d drifted into the next lane, cutting someone off.
Yeah, fuck you, too! You didn’t just have a blow to the gut.

I need to get back to Nashville. I want to talk with Dr. Fowler about this. She can help me figure out where my head is on this. I don’t know what the hell to think.

I look over in the passenger seat at some piece of paper they must have handed me on the way out. There’s that horn again.

32

Oakley

Although I wanted to be there for Kane and Gunner, today was midterms and I had to go or withdraw from all my classes this semester because I’ve let my classes go here lately. I have to make school a priority if I want to become a teacher to deaf students, make a difference in their lives, help them learn and see new things, help them find new ways to learn.

When I enrolled, school was my number one priority, but life with Kane has distracted me. He’s a bad influence when it comes to me studying anything but him. As much as he’s my favorite subject, I need school to take precedence if I ever hope to graduate.

“Oakley!” Keith says, walking up behind me.

“Hey, Keith, how’s it going?” I say, turning to give him a wave.

“Good, good. How about you, Oakley? I haven’t seen you around much.”

“Yeah, I moved in with Kane. We’re officially together now,” I tell him with a big smile on my face.

“Gee, you just hopped from one guy to the other, didn’t you?”

“I beg your pardon?” I’m sure my mouth just dropped to the ground beneath our feet.

“You didn’t even give anyone else a chance, to see if you’d like them or not.” He shakes his head and looks away.

“Kane’s been in my life a long time, I’ve always been his. It just took him this long to figure that out.”

“I hope he makes you happy, I know I could have.”

“Keith, I’m sorry if I ever led you to believe we could be anything more than friends. I thought I made it very clear that first night,” I say quietly.

“You did, Oakley, but a guy can dream, right? If he’s ever a fool and lets you go, I’m first in line. You’re an awesome girl and you deserve only the very best.” He gives me a smile.

“Why don’t we right now just concentrate on being friends?” I ask, feeling awkward.

“If that’s all you're willing to give me, I’ll take it.” Keith smiles.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out, but I don’t recognize the number. “Hello.”

“Is this Oakley Wilson?” a woman asks.

“Yes, this is Oakley.” I look over at Keith and shrug my shoulders.

“Are you related to a Luther K. Treadway?” she asks.

I laugh. “No, he’s my boyfriend. He’s in Memphis today, can I help you with something?”

“We have him here at Nashville General. He had your number listed in case of emergency.”

“What’s wrong? Is he okay?” I feel all the air being sucked out of me.

“There’s been an accident. Can you come in, please?”

“Yes,” I cry. “Where?”

“He’s in the emergency room at Nashville General. If he has any other family, please inform them as well,” she says.

“Okay.” I end the call.

“Oakley, what happened? You’re white as a sheet.”

I can hear Keith, but he sounds so far away.

“Oakley,” Keith repeats.

“Hospital… Kane.” That’s all I can get out.

Keith leads me to his car, opens the door, puts me inside, and buckles me up.

Kane couldn’t have had an accident because he’s in Memphis. It can’t be my Kane, no. I’ll just call him. They’ll see, it’s not my Kane. My hands are shaking so bad, I almost can’t dial the number.

His phone rings.

And rings.

And rings.

Think, Oakley. Don’t freak out, think. Megan! I have Megan’s number from when she and Clay dated.

“Come on, Megan, pick up your phone.” 
Deep breath, Oakley.
You’re strong, you’re brave.

“Hello.” Megan whispers.

“Megan, it’s Oakley, thank God you answered,” I say. “Is Kane around? He’s not answering his phone.”

“Is this some sort of joke, Oakley? If so, it’s not very funny. Kane left here over three hours ago.”

“No, he’s supposed to be with you and Gunner today,” I say, trying to get her to understand.

“Again, not very funny. Did Kane put you up to this? Tell him, I can’t reach his dad.”

“What?”

“Fuck, Oakley, get a clue. Luther Vandiver,” Megan sighs.

“Luther Vandiver? What does that have to do with Kane?” I take a shaky breath.

“Kane can explain all of it to you, but I have to get in touch with Luther, it’s for Gunner.” Megan cries.

“Megan, I can’t help you right now. Kane has been in a wreck, you know what, never mind. I don’t have time for you.” I end the call.

Think. What now?
The lady said contact his family. I don’t have Ruby’s number. GG! GG and Ruby are friends. GG will know how to get a hold of Ruby.

I call GG’s house, no answer. I call the Dive, her family restaurant, “Yes, may I speak to GG, I mean—”

“Hold for just a moment, please.”

“This is Gloria,” GG answers.

“GG,” The hot tears are running down my face now.

“Oakley, what is it, honey?”

“I think Kane has been in an accident. I got a call from Nashville General.”

“Oh, baby! I’ll call Ruby and meet you there. Oakley, is there someone that can drive you?”

I hear shuffling on the other end of the line. “My friend.”

“Okay, baby, I’m on my way.”

“Oakley, we’re here.”

I look up and Keith’s parking in the emergency room parking lot. I unbuckle my seatbelt, swing open the door, and run.

“Oakley, wait up,” Keith calls after me. “Let me go with you.”

“You better hurry up then, I’m not waiting around on anything.”

I burst through the door and look around. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but I don’t know what else to do. I hear footsteps behind me.

“Go to the receptionist,” Keith says.

We both race over to the receptionist’s desk.

“Kane Treadway, I mean Luther Treadway. Someone called me.”

The lady clicks away on a keyboard. “They just moved him up to the Trauma Unit. Take the elevators to the fourth floor, take a right, and you’ll find a nurses’ desk about half way down on your left.”

I don’t waste any time and take off again. Keith is matching me step for step. When we make it to the nurses’ desk in the Trauma Unit, I blurt, “Luther Treadway, someone called me about Luther Treadway.”

“Have a seat in the waiting room. Someone will be with you soon.”

“No, you have to tell me now!” I yell at her.

“Oakley, screaming isn’t going to help.” Keith pulls me by my arm. “Let me try.”

“Please, Keith, I have to know something.”

Keith walks back over to the station. “Ma’am, my friend didn’t get any information on the call she received. She was only told to come to the hospital. Is there anything, anything at all you can tell us?”

The red headed nurse groans audibly, clearly annoyed with us. “It looks like Midflight brought him in about an hour ago. He was in a five car pileup on Interstate 40.”

“What is his condition?” Keith asks.

“He’s in surgery now to relieve swelling on his brain. I’ll call and let them know you’re here now.”

“Oakley, I got here as quick as possible.” GG says, rushing up to me and wrapping her arm around me. “Ruby’s on her way and I called Clay for you. They’re all coming up here.”

“Okay, he’s in surgery. They said he was in a pile up on the Interstate,” I say, holding onto her. I pull away and go sit, facing the trauma operating room doors.

Keith and GG have followed me over to the waiting area.

“I’m Keith, one of Oakley’s friends from school. I was with her when she got the call. Since then, she’s been pretty much out of it.”

“Hi, Keith, I’m GG, a friend of the family’s.”

They talk for a while about a bunch of nothing while all I can do is stare at those double doors.
He’s going to be okay, he has to be.
I’m strong. I have to be. Kane’s always been my person that keeps me sane, keeps me together. Now I have to keep myself together for him. I wipe the tears in the corner of my eyes.

You never know how important a set of doors can be until you stare at them non-stop. You see people pass back and forth in front of the small square windows, some are smiling and others are talking. They all have one thing in common. One thing that I don’t have, their life is still going on and mine has completely stopped.

When I thought I was all alone, Kane was there. I smile, while tears run down my face. I’m trying so hard to be the kind of person he’d want me to be right now, but I’m not sure I can. He’s more than my boyfriend, he’s my best friend, and he’s the best that’s inside of me.

I get a text.

Clay
:
We’re on our way, Baby Girl, hold tight.

Oakley
:
Hurry, Clay.

Clay
:
I will, love you.

Oakley
:
Love you, too.

I just pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around tight. I hope this keeps me together, that my insides doesn’t get ripped out like my heart has. All I want right now is for those doors to open.

Open.

“Oakley!” Sandy comes running in and envelopes me. “Oh girl, I came as soon as I heard. Piper and Noelle are both on their way. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I can’t find any more words. I want them all to leave me alone so I can stare at those doors. Those doors hold all the answers, the answers to my life.

It seems to take forever, but Clay and our whole gang finally show up. That’s when I look around and notice several other people who have showed up. I didn’t even know people were arriving.

“Piper, Noelle, when did you guys get here?” I ask.

“Honey, we’ve been here for a couple of hours. We came over and said hello. Oakley, you even stood up and hugged us,” Noelle says.

I’m sorry is all I can manage.

“Clay, I’m so glad you guys finally made it.” I nearly collapse into my brother’s arms.

“Shh, I’m here, Baby Girl. I’m right here for you,” Clay says.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I see Deb and Ruby holding out their arms for a group hug. It looks like Kane’s finally getting that support.