Love & Loss (54 page)

‘O God Mia, you’ve no idea how happy I am right now,’ he sighed. I sniffed through my tears as he slipped my ring onto my finger and raised my hand to kiss it, tears streaming down his face as he pulled me to him and our lips locked in a passionate embrace. This time the ring didn’t feel like a weight around my neck, it felt it was back where it belonged and I couldn’t be happier. I felt all the love he had for me in that kiss and gave him all of mine back, before he stood and pulled me up and carried me through to the bedroom, which was decked out just like the lounge.

‘How did you
do
all of this?’ I uttered as he gently lay me down on the bed and lifted my foot to undo the ankle strap on my sandal.

‘I found a wedding organiser and arranged for them to sort this all out with the landlord.’

‘But how? We only arrived a few days ago.’ I asked, then giggled as he tossed my sandal and kissed the sole of my foot.

‘I knew we were coming away for my birthday, so as soon as we got back from America, when you gave me the ring back, I told Lexi that I wanted to propose tonight and made her tell me your plans.’ He grinned as I looked at him shocked while he moved to my second sandal.

‘You
broke
her?’ I gasped. I’d sworn her to secrecy.

‘I did,’ he nodded with a proud smile.

‘So she knew you were going to propose all along?’

‘Yes. I asked Gerry and your Mum too and they gave me their blessing.’ He nipped my toe as he removed my shoe.

‘You thought of everything,’ I smiled and wiped my eyes. ‘Mum was really ok with this?’ She hadn’t been overly impressed in February when I’d told her we were already living together, saying we were moving too fast.

‘She said anyone brave enough to take on the stubbornness of Mia Page for life had her complete blessing,’ he laughed. He yanked me up off the bed and pulled me into his arms and tilted my chin up to look into my eyes. ‘She loves me,’ he shrugged.

‘
I
love you,’ I smiled. ‘Fiancé.’

‘
Fiancée
,’ he whispered back as the smile reached his eyes. ‘So I’d like to get married at Christmas, on your birthday.’

‘This Christmas?’ I gasped, totally taken aback.

‘Yes. Why are you looking so shocked? I told you that from the start. I said when you agreed to get engaged we were getting married, no stalling.’

‘I’m not stalling, but I thought we’d wait a year or two until we’re older and we’ve finished Uni.’

‘Why wait? We both want it, being married won’t affect our studies.’

‘I just … it’s too soon Gabe, I mean there would be things to plan, to organise. We haven’t even discussed what sort of wedding either of us would want.’

‘I want whatever you want baby, it’s your day, you tell me what you want and I’ll make it happen.’

‘I don’t know what I want Gabe. I’ve never imagined having a wedding day.’

‘So start imagining.’

‘I need time Gabe, all I can tell you now is I wouldn’t want some big elaborate display. I’d just want something quiet and intimate with all my loved ones around me. I don’t need some big flashy extravagant day.’

‘Then that’s what I’ll organise.’

‘Please can we leave it until we finish Uni?’ I pleaded. I’d just taken a massive step by not only agreeing to marry him and to wearing an engagement ring, but in wanting to. I just wanted to take it one step at a time to not panic myself.

‘We don’t have to discuss it now. Right now I’m too distracted by how beautiful you look and I’d like to make love to my fiancée right now.’

‘
That
I have absolutely no problem with,’ I smiled as I turned and lifted my hair for him to unzip my dress. He held it for me as I stepped out of it.

‘O baby, what did you do?’ he groaned as he ran his hands down my ribs and waist over my new Basque.

‘You want to unwrap your last present?’ I winked over my shoulder.

‘Hell yeah,’ he enthused as he pulled me back against him and kissed my neck as his hand cupped my throbbing breasts and I let out the most contented sigh of my life.

‘Why couldn’t we stay in?’ I asked as we got in the lift. We’d only got back from Paris this afternoon and I hadn’t even had a chance to go and see Lexi.

‘Because we need to see how the interior alterations are going at the club and I thought it would be nice to have our first meal out as an engaged couple back home.’ He bent down to adjust the bottom of my silver sequin bandeau cocktail dress he’d purchased for me in Paris. I was also wearing the silver Jimmy Choo sandals and silver Choo bag too, my engagement presents from him. I’d protested that my engagement ring was enough, but he wouldn’t have it. I sighed and nodded as he pressed button 26.

‘I thought we were going to see the club?’ I asked.

‘We can do that after,’ he smiled and lifted my hand to his lips.

‘I hope you’ve booked that booth with the light curtain. I’m feeling rather frisky seeing you in that three piece suit again.’

‘Are you now? Well now we’re engaged and I’ve finally won you I don’t need to impress you anymore with my sexual prowess. I was planning on only doing it on special occasions from now on.’

‘Well the hot sex is the only reason I agreed to marry you Gabe, so I’d better break this off now.’

‘You wouldn’t dare,’ he muttered as he hauled me against his chest. ‘You’re mine now, for life.’

‘I was yours for life the minute I spotted that delicious backside across the English room,’ I laughed.

‘I can’t believe it’s nearly our anniversary,’ he uttered as he ran a finger down my cheek. One week tonight, we’d been together for a year. It was hard to believe. Even more amazing was that we’d made it to this point after the months of crap we’d been through, but these last seven months had been perfect. Other than the odd argument over Gabe’s bossy domineering side interfering with my plans now and then, we’d hardly argued at all. In fact our relationship seemed to be …
perfect
. I just kept waiting for that storm on the horizon, like it was all too good to be true. ‘Serious face.’ He frowned at me as he said it. ‘Ok?’

‘Better than ok. I’m engaged to the most handsome man in the Universe and I love him more than words can say.’

‘I love you too baby. You make me so happy.’ He kissed me and took my hand as the lift announced our arrival. We walked down the granite steps and I felt more relaxed knowing that Chelsea no longer worked here. I stopped suddenly and covered my mouth in shock. Standing at the bar were Robert, Sofia, Lexi, Doug, Sarah, Mum, Gerry, Nana and Granddad Page, Georgie and her boyfriend Justin, Lexi’s fuck buddy Dan, then Milo, Cindy and Max. Also there were my best friends from home Jess, Mandy and Lizzie and their boyfriends too, some of the swim team and Mr Clarke and his wife, Lexi’s step mum.

‘Surprise,’ they all shouted. I just nodded and looked up at Gabe as my eyes filled with tears.

‘It’s our engagement party. I tried not to make it too over the top and extravagant,’ he shrugged. ‘Ok?’

‘Definitely ok, thank you,’ I nodded as I clasped his face and kissed him, then ran to give Mum a hug first.

I sat at my dressing table putting the finishing touches to my makeup for the party and smiled as I looked up at the black and white photograph I’d taken of the Eiffel Tower from the apartment balcony. I couldn’t help looking over my shoulder at the large black and white canvas Doug had made us for our engagement present. Gabe had set the digital camera on sports mode to take loads of consecutive pictures of the moment he proposed and Doug had chosen the best one to have blown up. Gabe was kneeling in front of me holding my hand, as the fingers of my other hand covered my lips and you could see the emotion on both of our faces, even at a side profile.

We’d had an amazing engagement party and had been showered with money. Lexi had set up a “Wedding Fund” donation page, so everyone had put some money in for us which was so sweet, but the most amazing present had come from Robert and Sofia and I could hardly believe it. Gabe had told them how amazing Paris was, Sofia already loved it there, so when he’d mentioned how romantic the apartment in Paris was, and that it was for sale, they’d made an offer on it as their gift to us, on the proviso that they could schedule vacations there as well. I’d actually screamed with joy when they’d told us, the thought of being able to fly over for a weekend of bliss, somewhere that we had so many happy memories in, whenever we wanted was just incredible.

The restructure of the interior of the club was nearly completed and I’d done interviews for the dancers and bar staff and hostesses with Lexi. Gabe and Doug had done interviews for the security team and cleaners. Robert had already helped with filling a bank of prepaid members on the basis of artists impressions of how the club would look, so we were already making money. By charging a flat annual fee, we had a guaranteed income stream from a high end clientele, then the mark up on drinks too. Robert had even struck up a deal with 26 to provide light bites to eat on order with a cut of the profit coming to us. Mum had rolled her eyes when I’d sat her and Gerry down to tell them and shown them the drawings, then she’d slapped Gerry around the back of the head when he asked if he could come to the opening night, which had made me laugh.

The only blip had been yet another murder, the sixth by the Campus killer who was still sticking to his pattern and it was just as gruesome as the last, her body having been horrendously defiled. To make matters worse it was a girl who was in my History lecture. I didn’t really know her, other than having recognised her face when it was in the papers, but it was just that too close to home. Now Lexi wasn’t attending Uni with me, Gabe had gone over protective crazy again and went out of his way to make sure that he or Doug dropped me off to Uni and came to collect me from outside the lecture hall when I was done. We’d had a big argument again about me still wanting to attend the gym and Pilates with Milo, which I’d flatly refused to cease, which hadn’t impressed him at all. I’d noticed at our engagement party that he’d kept me as far away from Milo as possible and wondered why he’d even invited him in the first place. I smiled as the bedroom door opened and Lexi walked in.

‘Hey you how’s it going? Nearly ready?’ she asked as she handed me an open bottle of beer.

‘Nearly,’ I nodded with a smile. ‘Cool outfit.’ She was in a glow in the dark skeleton suit with her face painted white with black eyes.

‘You too. How do you always manage the sexy outfits for a party?’ she moaned. I giggled, I was wearing a tight lycra all in one cat suit, low cut at the front, with a tail and some black furry ears on a head band, with my black heels with the metal spikes. I’d done my nails black and was just drawing on some whiskers and my black nose.

‘Why didn’t you pick a sexy witch outfit, or borrow my Nurses uniform and do cuts and plasters all over yourself?’

‘Now you say,’ she huffed as she plonked herself on the bed behind me. ‘Besides I couldn’t do sexy as I have my period.’

‘So?’

‘I have my big girl period pants on.’

‘Why?’

‘Come on, all girls have big girl period pants for this time of the month, it’s comforting to have your stomach being hugged and a strip of material as wide as a landing strip over your crotch just in case. No one wants the flash of a tampon tail hanging out of a thong do they?’

‘Well I haven’t had a period for over a year, but I never wore big unsexy knickers when I was on. If anything I wanted to feel more sexy and would wear some nice lace Marks and Spencers knickers.’

‘Ahhhh, the royalty of regalia for us commoners, the £6 per pair low rise bandeau lace thong. I can only dream,’ she sighed.

‘You’ll be able to afford them soon Lex, you’ll get your first pay check from the club in January.’

‘I know,’ she beamed. ‘I can’t believe you guys are trusting me and Doug to help you manage things. I mean come on, it’s
us.
’

‘We trust you implicitly with everything but cleaning and secrets,’ I smiled.

‘Are you
ever
going to let go of that?’ she laughed. ‘He wanted to propose, I could hardly crush his romantic dreams could I?’

‘No and I’m so glad you didn’t,’ I grinned, with another look at the picture. ‘So you and Doug working side by side, it’s really not going to be a problem?’

‘Well luckily we won’t be side by side much. I’ll do Wednesday and Sunday nights and he’ll do Thursday and Saturday, and we’ll alternate Friday’s so we can have two girls Fridays out a month still. I smiled and nodded. We’d decided not to open on a Monday and Tuesday night, figuring it would give everyone a break and Cindy had confirmed those nights were the quietest at Peppers anyway.

‘He seems to be getting serious with Sarah.’ I observed as I did some flicked out cat’s eyes with the liner.

‘Yeah,’ she sighed and swigged from her bottle.

‘I don’t think it’s too late Lexi. I see how he still looks at you.’

‘I know,’ she nodded. ‘I’m just not there yet. I mean I thought I’d sorted myself out with having Dad back in my life and doing all this therapy, but doing this counselling course is bringing up all kinds of stuff I still need to deal with. Things with Dad are going so well and it’s great having him back in my life, but there’s still the whole issue of him having left me in the first place and the whole absent mother shit.’

‘But you’re still seeing Dan, and Sam, how can you see both of them yet refuse to try again with Doug?’

‘Dan and Sam are just sex Mia, great regular sex. There’s no real bond there. Sure I get on with them both, but that’s it.’

‘I just worry that you’ll want him back and it will be too late Lex.’

‘Then I’ll just have to live with it won’t I? Come on, this party food isn’t going to lay itself, and before you ask I already put a tray of those chocolate caramel shortbread bites in your freezer for Gabe.’

‘Thank you,’ I laughed. Gabe really didn’t do sweet things, but he had a
serious
thing for those, it was his one downfall on an otherwise perfectly healthy diet. I slicked on some Vaseline and grabbed my beer and headed over to her apartment to help her set up. ‘I need some sugar,’ I exclaimed after about the seventh journey from the kitchen with the food platters.

‘Go and get a digestive biscuit from the snack drawer,’ she offered.

‘A crummy digestive is all you offer to your about to go into a sugar withdrawal coma best friend?’ I gasped.

‘I haven’t been shopping I have no chocolate in.’

‘You have Jelly Belly’s.’

‘Do not,’ she shot back.

‘Lexi Clarke! You little liar, you have your secret stash.’

‘Who says I haven’t eaten those.’

‘You’ve eaten a whole kilo since movie Tuesday? It’s only Friday Lexi.’

‘How do you know I’ve got a kilo?’ she demanded as she spun to face me.

‘I found them Tuesday night when you went to the loo.’

‘You’re testing me, you know I only buy kilo bags because they’re cheaper.’

‘Please, you really think after all this time I haven’t discovered your not so secret hiding place?’

‘You haven’t,’ she uttered.

‘I have,’ I nodded with a grin.

‘No way. No
way
you’d have found them, it’s the best hiding place
ever
invented.’

‘Want a bet?’

‘I’m not giving you the Choo clutch, give it up with bartering for the Choo.’

‘Officially you already owe it me for setting you up with Sam, besides they don’t make that one anymore and I love it.’

‘Tough.’

‘Fine,’ I sighed. ‘You have to help me with the cleaning tomorrow, not just shoving stuff in bags, a proper mop, duster and polish job.’

‘Deal,’ she replied with a cocky grin. ‘It’s never going to happen so I’m cool with that.’

‘Game on,’ I giggled and marched quickly to the kitchen with her in hot pursuit. I glanced back at her as I opened one of the kitchen cupboards and her face looked stunned, it dropped when I hauled out a large bag of self-raising flour and shook it like a maraca as I giggled.

‘How the hell did you find those,’ she grizzled with an annoyed stamp of her foot. ‘You’ve probably got bloody spy cams hooked up in every room.’ I tipped a load out on the work surface and laughed as she looked around the room checking for cameras.

‘Please Lexi. I came to make the coffees on Tuesday night and had to fill up your canister of sugar. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice an out of place bag of self-raising flour in your cupboard?’ I started easing out the juicy pear, raspberry and pina colada mix beans from the pile on the worktop.

‘But everyone has self-raising flour in their cupboards. I even googled to see what items were kitchen cupboard staples so I could make it look authentic.’

‘It would have been more authentic if you’d filled a wine or beer bottle Lexi. When have you ever used self-raising flour? You haven’t used the oven or grill since I moved in with Gabe in January, let alone tried to bake a cake in the microwave.’

‘Damn it,’ she groaned and came over, then slapped my hand. ‘Stop eating all the good ones.’

‘I don’t know why you buy these kilo mix bags, why not order individual bags of the flavours you like?’

‘They do those?’ she exclaimed as she looked at me.

‘You’re such an amateur,’ I laughed. ‘I shall expect you at 9 a.m. sharp for “Operation Clean-up” Lexi Clarke.’

‘Nine?
Come on
,’ she groaned. ‘I want to get wasted.’

‘Fine ten, but I want to get the clean-up done so I have time to relax. I’m knackered after all those interviews on top of my Uni work.’ I looked up and started choking on a handful of pina colada beans I’d shoved into my mouth as I stared at the kitchen door. Lexi slapped my back and turned her head to see what I was looking at.

‘Holy shit, can I have your fiancé for the night?’ she asked as we looked at him leaning on the door frame, ankles crossed, with a smug look of satisfaction on his face at our reactions.

‘
Hello
sailor,’ I coughed as I fanned myself with my hand. Gabe had dressed up in a white naval officer uniform, with navy epaulettes and gold braiding, a cap and his mirrored aviators. He took off his glasses and hooked them in his pocket, then removed his cap and I gasped, he’d had his beautiful blond hair virtually shaved off. ‘O my God, what have you done?’ I uttered as I walked over to him.

‘You don’t like it?’ he asked as he ran his hand over it. ‘I had a number three done, I thought it would look more authentic.’

‘It’s … short.’ I exclaimed, not sure how I felt about it. I mean he still looked seriously hot, Jason Lewis in Sex and the City when he shaved his head hot, but I loved his slightly messed up hair. Especially when I could grab it when we were kissing. I ran my fingers over it and could hear and feel it flicking back into place.

‘Yes it is short, but do you like it?’

‘I don’t know, it’s a bit of a shock.’

‘So now you know how I feel when you cut your hair off,’ he replied with a smirk.

‘Don’t even go there,
again
,’ I glared with a roll of my eyes. ‘I had about two inches off nearly
a year ago
Gabe, I didn’t have it all cut off and shaved.’

‘So you
don’t
like it,’ he huffed.

‘I’m not sure how I feel at the moment. It may have been nice for you to discuss it with me first.’

‘I don’t need bloody permission to have my hair cut Mia.’

‘Well neither do I,’ I seethed.

‘Ermmm please can I be excused?’ came Lexi’s voice from behind me.

‘No, you stay right there,’ I warned holding up a finger behind me as I glared at Gabe.

‘I don’t know what the big deal is,’ he sighed as he put his cap back on.

‘Ok fine, I’ll go and have mine cut tomorrow. I’m bored having it long just to please you. I’ve been fancying a shaved spiky topped look for a while.’

‘Don’t you fucking dare,’ he growled.

‘Well if you don’t need permission for a radicle change neither do I Gabe. Come on Lexi, we have stuff to do. I’m not wasting time with my chauvinistic arsehole of a fiancé who refuses to see that we no longer live in the dark ages and women have equality rights too.’ I tried to shove past him, but he gripped my forearm.

‘Mia,’ he warned.

‘O … jog on you, you …
whatever
,’ I muttered as I shook him free. I marched to the lounge with Lexi hot on my heels and heard the front door slam.