Love & Loss (25 page)

‘I love you Gabe,’ I sighed quietly under my breath as we moved.

‘And I you baby,’ he whispered in my ear.

‘You’ve got hearing like a bat,’ I giggled.

‘And don’t you forget it,’ he sighed as he put a hand up between my breasts and clasped my jaw tipping my head back to kiss me.

‘Gabe, your Dad.’

‘What of him?’

‘I don’t want him seeing us all sexy with each other.’

‘He’s too busy making his own moves to care Mia. I’m desperately trying not to look. It’s both uncomfortable and gross.’

I looked over and giggled, they were locked in an embrace and he was clasping her face, just like Gabe did to me. ‘You’re so alike you know. Sofia and I have been talking.’

‘O my God, not the way you talk to Lexi?’

‘Well no, not quite as in depth, but she commented on how dominant Robert was and indicated he was like that in the bedroom too, see he’s just like you, or you him.’

‘Please,
for the love of God
stop talking now,’ he groaned in an unsexy way. I started laughing and he had to let me go as I bent over in hysterics and then squealed as the egg moved inside me. He pulled me back up quickly and spun me to face him. ‘Are you pissed?’

‘A little, you’re not going to get mad with me again are you?’

‘No but I wanted to fuck you tonight, that was the whole reason for the egg, to get you ready for me,’ he frowned.

‘O for God’s sake, I don’t need anything to get ready for you and when will you give up this nonsense about not sleeping with me when I’ve been drinking? I’m hardly comatose and tonight I’m your fiancée,’ I said waving my hand at him. ‘You can hardly take advantage of a fiancée can you?’

‘No, I guess not, say that again please.’

‘What?’

‘Fiancée.’

‘
Gabe.’

‘Well if you’re not my fiancée tonight then I can’t take advantage can I?’ he muttered petulantly. ‘O dear no sex for Mia.’

‘You wouldn’t? No way, I’m so wet for you.’

‘That’s damn tough for you then isn’t it,’ he shrugged. ‘You agreed until Tuesday, is it really that hard for you to say that word when you’re not taking the piss?’

‘I wasn’t taking the piss.’

‘Ok, teasing me, whatever, either way it’s cruel.’

‘No crueller than torturing yourself by making me wear it knowing it’s going to come off Gabe.’

‘I guess,’ he sighed as he held me, still moving to the music. ‘Please baby, just say it, just this once, say what you are to me tonight.’ I looked up into his pleading eyes, why was this so damn important to him? I sighed as he ran a set of knuckles down my cheek before tugging at my bottom lip and my heart.

‘I, Mianna Page, am your fiancée Gabriel Austin.’ I was rewarded with a set of blue watery eyes and a scalding kiss from him and the feeling of his erection swelling against me. I clutched him, desperately wanting to feel what he felt at the thought of us getting married. I so wanted to be there with him, but I wasn’t.

‘Take me home,’ I whispered. ‘I need you, now.’

He straightened up and wiped his eyes and nodded and caught his Dad’s eye. ‘Sorry guys, someone’s had a bit too much to drink. I need to get her home to bed.’ I bit my lip and narrowed my eyes, using me as a damn excuse, the little bugger.

‘Well it’s a fine thing when the youngsters can’t outlast us “oldies” on a night out,’ laughed Robert. ‘I’ll ask Antonio to pull up outside,’ he said as he kissed me on the cheek and hugged Gabe.

‘Sofia, would you be free to join Mia and I for lunch on Monday? I know Dad is busy with work,’ Gabe asked, taking the three of us by surprise.

‘Yes I am and I’d love that thank you Gabriel,’ she smiled.

‘Please it’s Gabe, Dad’s the only one who calls me Gabriel, or Mia when I’ve pissed her off.’ I smacked his arm as Sofia laughed and he kissed her on both cheeks. ‘Great I’ll get your number off Dad and set something up. Thanks for entertaining Mia tonight.’

‘She’s entertained me, she’s a special girl Gabe.’

‘I think so, but then again I’m biased,’ he said turning to look at me, his face full of emotion again.

‘Night Sofia, thanks for a really lovely night, I had such fun,’ I kissed her and waved over my shoulder as Gabe led me across the dance floor.

‘Ooooo,’ I winced.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘You and this damn egg. Are you supposed to wear it for this long, my muscles feel like you’ve fucked me for days.’

‘Shit sorry baby, I should have made you take it out before you danced. Cross your ankles.’

‘How’s that going to help?’

‘So I can pick you up without half of America’s celebrities seeing your bare beaver.’

‘O ok,’ I didn’t care about being embarrassed, I couldn’t move another inch with this inside me. I did as I was told and he swooped me up into his arms and took me up to retrieve his jacket, which I hung onto as he carried me out with everyone smiling at us. I leaned my cheek on his chest and smiled up at him. ‘I love when you do this.’

‘I know,’ he smiled back full of love.

It was just after one a.m. when we got dropped off he carried me into the elevator.

‘I’ve never done it in an elevator,’ I stated.

‘Well I should hope bloody not as you’ve only ever done it with me and I haven’t either.’

‘Fancy trying it now?’

‘Would I sound like a wimp if I said I just wanted to take you to bed and make love to you, rather than have fast furious elevator sex?’

‘No, as long as we can schedule it in before we leave, I don’t know anyone with a private elevator back home and I don’t fancy testing out a public one.’

‘We have a deal baby,’ he smiled and carried me into the bedroom.

I crept out of bed at 8 a.m. pulling on his shirt and went to get some water, leaving him asleep in bed. I could still feel in internal pull from wearing my egg for hours and from having sex again last night. Much as I liked the look of my new glass object, and the feelings it gave me wearing it, I wasn’t overly happy at the less than glamorous way it had to come out. Gabe had found it really funny and his raucous laughter nearly led to me locking myself in the bathroom and refusing to come out to sleep with him, let alone
sleep
with him.

I sat on a stool looking at the view as I glugged on the water and pulled my phone out of my bag and giggled when I saw the singers business card. I wondered how many girls he just randomly handed it out to and how many of them called him back. I was really flattered though, to have someone that famous interested in me was an ego boost. I tucked it back in my purse, I had to show Lexi that, she’d go mental. I smiled to see I had a reply from her.

So gel. B fab 2 do that wit u. Missin u. Can’t w8 2cu tues. <3U2 bestie xx

I also had a text from Cindy.

Hey babe, spoke to Mike, Sat 5
^th
you’re on for your next dance and can discuss your schedule with him then. Made it clear you only want one or two shifts at max and he’s cool with it. Call in before if you want a hand with a routine and it would be great to see you. Bring your friend over to talk other work too. Hope you’re ok? Missing our work outs x PS Not too late to ditch pretty boy ;-)

I smiled then huffed my fringe out of my eyes, dreading the confrontation that was inevitable with Gabe. He’d not mentioned either my plans with Milo, nor my wish to go back to Peppers since I’d dropped it on him yesterday. Well now I had a deadline, if he didn’t mention it by then, I was going to have to tell him.

‘Why the big sigh?’ His voice rang out in the large silent room and I looked around to see him leaning on the door frame, arms folded on his chest, dressed in his new silk boxers.

‘Headache,’ I smiled. Well at least it was true.

‘I’ll get you some tablets from Dad’s cabinet. Lots of water baby,’ he ordered and I waved the half empty litre bottle at him. ‘Good girl,’ he smiled, kissing the top of my head as he walked past. He returned with two Advil and stroked the hair hanging down my back as I gulped them down.

‘Sleep ok?’ I asked.

‘Like a log, you?’

‘Hmmm. Nice pants.’

‘They feel really nice, smooth and silky. You’ll have ruined me, I’m not going to want to wear jersey ones now.’

‘Well it’s not like you can’t afford to kit yourself out with a fresh pair for every day of the year,’ I observed and got a smack on the bottom.

‘Ok, I want to be out soon to give us time to visit Ground Zero before we have to head over for our timed trip up the Statue. I’ll ring Antonio and let him know to pick us at up nine thirty so we can wolf breakfast and get ready.’

‘Can we just go by the metro?’

‘Why? We have a nice Merc at our disposal,’ he frowned.

‘I know that. I just … don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes I like to do normal things. I’ve been treated like a celebrity since we left home and I’d just like to ride the metro and be normal, experience New York like most people do.’

‘A lot of people in New York have drivers, but fine I’ll just arrange him for the homeward bound trip.’

‘I’d like to get a cab,’ I said, almost apologetically.

‘Seriously?’ he sighed.

‘Yes. A yellow cab’s iconic, I can’t have been here and not sat in one. It’s like going home and saying I went to New York and didn’t visit Central Park or go up the Empire State Building.’

‘Fine, but I draw the line at getting the bloody bus anywhere ok?’

‘Agreed. Now shake that sexy ass and cook me breakfast man slave,’ I giggled slapping his bottom as hard as I could and shaking my hand as it stung.

‘Fuck, I wish you wouldn’t do that,’ he said as he jumped out of my reach. ‘It bloody
hurts
.’

‘Ahhhh Mr Sensitive,’ I teased. ‘I take much harder smacks than that.’

‘I may stop giving you them if they hurt that much. It stings like buggery,’ he moaned rubbing his bottom as he opened the fridge.

‘Do we have any plans for tonight?’

‘Not yet. Why what do you fancy doing?’ he asked as he cracked and whisked up some eggs.

‘Would you mind if we stayed in? I’d really like to just have a carpet picnic in front of the fire and enjoy the view.’

‘Me or New York?’ he asked looking over his shoulder with a smile.

‘Both, hard to tell which is better to be honest,’ I sighed as I looked him up and down.

‘Okay, there’s a good deli not far from here. We’ll stop on the way home and pick up some bits and pieces. Can you do some toast? The eggs will be ready soon.’

We lay on the rug, well fed and in post orgasmic bliss after a quick rough session in front of the fire. We’d done loads of walking, the Ground Zero memorial, the financial district, then up the Statue of Liberty and I’d purchased T-shirts for Doug, Milo, Gabe and myself and a Snow globe for Lexi. Now, after more sex I felt pleasantly tired. Gabe pulled my NYPD t-shirt back onto me and spooned behind me as we watched the flames flicker.

‘I like this t-shirt on you. It hugs your curves perfectly.’

‘Thank you. I thought I could wear it running or for workouts. We need to get back into our running when we get back home, we’ve slacked off lately.’

‘We could go back to our Wednesday mornings and maybe go on a Sunday too. You don’t want to overdo it if you’re doing Pilates and the gym on a Thursday too, and you’ll have the pole at home. I plan on making you do a lot of that, for your benefit of course.’

‘For
my
benefit?’ I laughed. I could feel the smile on his face and wondered if his throw away comment about Thursday meant he was finally ok with me spending the time with Milo.

 ‘Hmmm yes and I’m more than happy to closely observe and give very detailed feedback. In fact my sight’s not as good as it used to be, maybe you’ll have to throw in a nightly lap dance as well so I can give you a thorough and unbiased appraisal,’ he murmured as his lips ran back and forth across my shoulder.

‘Yes,’ I sighed. ‘That sounds like an excellent plan, though I doubt it will be unbiased. Would you like a lap dance now?’

‘Thanks but I’m ok, I already have plans for you this evening.’

‘Again? Already? But we only just finished.’

‘I didn’t mean sex, though I’ve no objections if it leads to us having it again. I thought we could go and relax and enjoy the view.’

‘We are relaxing enjoying the view. How much better does it get? A roaring fire and an amazing skyline all lit up.’

‘In another ten minutes I’ll show you how much better it can get.’

‘You’re full of mystery and surprises lately.’

‘Just trying to keep your interest, stop you getting bored with me.’

‘Gabe.’ I wriggled around in his arms and put my hands on his chest as he looked down at me. ‘I could never get bored of you. I told you, you’re stuck with me, I love you.’

‘Don’t you just feel sometimes like it’s too good to be true? That we just clicked so instantly, that we get on so well, trust each other and that the sex is … off the fucking charts?’

‘No I don’t. I often think how lucky I am to have all of that with you, but what we have, isn’t that what all couples strive for? That’s why some people have so many partners, they keep moving on until they find their perfect. I struck out Gabe, I got you so quickly.’

‘I guess so,’ he shrugged. ‘I just feel like I don’t deserve you sometimes, like I don’t deserve to be this happy.’

‘Why wouldn’t you deserve that Gabe?’ I asked as I ran a finger down his face and watched as he bit his lip and shrugged again. ‘You still feel guilty about your Mum don’t you?’ I whispered. He didn’t answer me, but he blinked rapidly. ‘Gabe, I wish you’d believe me when I tell you that you have
nothing
to be guilty for. One day
you’ll
believe that, but you deserve as much happiness as anyone, more so because you’re so generous and I’m not talking about your total disregard for the preservation of your finances.’

‘
Mia,’
he sighed, but gave me a slight smile.

‘You’re so generous here,’ I touched his heart and he inhaled through his teeth. ‘You love me so completely it takes my breath away sometimes. And you’re also just as generous here,’ I smiled as I stroked his soft penis through his sweats. ‘You’re so selfless in bed, always putting my pleasure before your own. Any women would be so lucky to have you, you deserve to be loved back just as much as you love me and you are. I love you so much Gabe and your Mum did too and she’d want you to put this behind you and move on.’

‘I’m not sure I can Mia,’ he said quietly shaking his head.

‘Well you have me and Dr Jarvis to help you with that. Just like I have both of you to help me with my issues with marriage and children. We’re no different Gabe, both of us have deep rooted fears and it’s easy to look at someone else and wonder why they can’t just get other them. It takes time, but I think we’ll get there.’

‘You do?’

‘I’d like to think so. I know I want to, for you, to make you happy. Ok, imagine if we had children, can you do that for a minute?’

‘I already do imagine it Mia,’ he whispered, making me inhale terrified this time.

‘Ok, well would you want your child to beat themselves up for life for a tragic unintentional accident?’

‘No of course not,’ he said quickly, frowning.

‘Well that’s how your Mum would’ve felt Gabe, that’s what you’re doing to yourself and it’s not fair. You’re
such
a good man. I love you with all my heart.’

‘O baby,’ he sighed and rolled onto his back, pulling my head onto his chest and kissed my hair with one arm tightly wrapped around me. ‘I love you that much too and more.’

I put my hand over his heart and could feel it racing and decided I’d said enough, the time for talk was over and it had gone better than I thought it would, he really was doing well this weekend. I planted a kiss on his chest and we just lay there listening to the fire crackle and the faint buzz of the New York traffic and sirens way below us as I felt his heart beat regulate to its normal powerful rhythm. I was startled from our contended state of relaxation by the elevator whirring gently behind us and sat up.

‘You’re not expecting your Dad are you? I have no knickers on.’

‘No relax. It’s Seb.’

‘Who’s Seb?’

‘The butler. He’s just doing as I asked, he won’t come in. When we hear the lift go down we can go up.’

‘We’re going up on the roof? It looks cold out, I better go and get some clothes.’

‘Trust me, you’re fine as you are. In fact a little overdressed.’

‘What are you up to? You expect me to sit on a windy rooftop naked.’

‘So suspicious of my intentions today Miss Page, get back down here with me,’ he commanded and tugged me back down next to him. ‘Trust me.’

‘Ok,’ I sighed as I snuggled up to him again until we heard the elevator make its return journey.

‘Right on your feet, let’s go.’

I tried to pull my t-shirt down to cover my naked behind as I got in next to him, but it was too short and he just smiled and shook his head, squeezing one of my bare cheeks. He still only had his bottoms on, no way he’d go out topless without good reason. Once again as the doors opened I was left open mouthed. The twinkling lights, candles and patio heaters were on again, but tonight a section of the decking to one side had been removed to reveal a steaming bubbling hot tub sunk into the floor. Next to it was a small steel catering urn with a dispenser and two mugs and near the glass, facing the Empire State Building was a large double recliner.

‘O my God, this is just crazy,’ I giggled.

‘Come on then,’ he laughed dropping his bottoms and jumping into the water naked. ‘Strip off and get in.’

I pulled my t-shirt off and ran to join him, my nipples immediately jumping to attention as the wind bit into them. ‘
Brrrrr
,’ I shivered as I sat down next to him, submerged to my shoulders. It didn’t take long for the water to warm me and I squealed as he pressed some buttons and made the jets go faster. He shunted around to sit opposite me and reached down for my feet and started to gently massage them.

‘Better?’ he asked.

‘Yes, it’s lovely and warm in here thank you. What’s this?’ I asked nodding to the urn.

‘Do the honours and find out.’

I held a mug under it and turned the tap and the smell of spiced mulled wine immediately hit my nostrils. I passed a mug to Gabe, who rested my feet on his knees as he took it, before I filled my own.

‘This is delicious,’ I groaned.

‘I love the stuff. I can never seem to find it any other time of year,’ he shrugged. I made him laugh by singing the first few lines of
It’s beginning to look at lot like Christmas
. ‘Don’t laugh Gabe, it is. Mulled wine and the Empire State doing that light show earlier.

‘Is my singing that bad?’