Love Is Fear (8 page)

So humiliating.

He took the bowl away, disappearing into the bathroom and bringing her a towel and a cup of water. Her voice was scratchy and she blinked owlishly before saying, “You’re a very good nurse. Color me surprised. And embarrassed. Really embarrassed.”

He knelt down before her, looking up into her face
, 
and his expression floored her. Was that how she looked when she saw him? Wonder, fear and more, chased across his face, faster than a flash of lightning. He gazed at her like she was a precious antique that had been lost.

She cleared her throat.

His hand reached up, brushing wet strands of hair from her face. His lashes were thick. A dark golden color
, 
but so dense she was surprised they didn't get tangled together. She smiled and worried that it was wobbly. A tremble raced through her.

“
What am I doing here?”

His expression changed, shutting down, but an intensity was still there, visible in the press of his lips, the tightening of his grip on hers. “What do you remember?”

Lucas stayed crouched before her, as she willed the answer to come to her. “I was with Jack.”

His hand withdrew from hers and he leaned back, shifting away from her like hearing Jack’s name had made him flinch. He reached up absently, going to move his hair over his shoulder, but it was gone. He’d chopped it off before the Challenge. His hand dropped down to his knee instead. Maybe he’d had long hair for centuries.

“
You should not be here. You need to focus on where you were and go back. Do you understand me? Think about where you were, exactly.”

She strained to think about what she’d been doing. It was like she’d woken up from a dream and each moment that passed pushed the dream further away, made it less real. “We were snorkeling.” She looked around his room, like it would give her clues. “I think, I think there was a cave. And I dived down to see it, but there were a lot of rocks.” She shook her head, not remembering the rest. God, his bathrobe smelled good.

Val looked at the fire. The orange flames stalled, then flickered, finally vanishing altogether, plunging the room in darkness. The only light came from Lucas, as though he was surrounded by a hundred candles. The walls of his bedroom shrank away, consumed by the dark.

“
What is that?” she whispered. Blackness, like living shadows were creeping closer towards them, the light surrounding Lucas dimming.

“
Valerie! Hear me. You must go back. Close your eyes and remember where you were. Think of Jack. Go to him, now!” he said, anger and desperation in every word.

Val was stunned, wanting to ask him what was going on. Cold water rushed over her feet, the whole floor suddenly awash in black seawater. Huge ropes of seaweed swayed through the rising tide like they were alive and hungry. She could hear the loud rush of water, see the room filling, feel the water’s cold sharpness sweep over her legs and rise higher.

She jumped up from the bed and Lucas stood too, mirroring her movements, watching only her, as though oblivious to the huge flood that was consuming his bedroom.

“
What will happen to you?” Val asked frantically.

“
You cannot stay here or you will perish. This is not reality. Go to Jack. Please. Go!”

She reached out to him— for protection, for comfort, to save him too? But he stepped back, evading her grasp. Water crashed over her head, seaweed coiled up her legs, pulling her down deep into the water.

Val opened her eyes under the water. Everything was dark, only the barest flicker of light surrounded Lucas as he floated in the water, eyes closed. A corpse in suspended animation. The water carried him away from her like invisible pallbearers, his clothes waving gently, fingers and arms loose as he drifted away.

She screamed for him and the water poured inside of her, choked her and squeezed her lungs in a vice. The water wanted inside of her, aching to take her too. Val breathed in deep, felt her lungs explode in a death so heavy it felt like grief.

The grim reaper called her name. He’d taken Lucas from her
, 
and now he called her too. He hit her in the chest, slammed her down and yelled at her over and over again until she did what he wanted, threw up again, then opened her eyes to the blinding light of day.

Jack’s voice was loud and above her, his hands on her chest, forcing life inside her as he yelled at her to breathe and called her back to life. Not the grim reaper after all.

Quickly, amid shouts and the rocking of the boat, people stripped her, taking off her wetsuit and snorkeling mask. Strands of her hair were ripped out with the mask, sharp little pains that were totally subsumed by the larger shock and despair that wracked her body.

Someone was chanting, saying something over and over again, but Val didn't know what they said or why. She wished they’d shut up. They were so loud and insistent.

Jack wrapped her in a towel
, 
and the boat shuddered to life as the captain turned the engine on. People sat down, the boat excursion over, now that a stupid tourist had almost drowned. Jack was sitting on the floor of the boat across from her, leaning against a seat, his head in his hands, shoulders hunched in against himself. She’d never seen that look on his face before.

No. She’d seen it once. When he was twelve years old, sitting next to his mother’s dead body. He’d looked just like this. Tears ran down his face and she wanted to tell him not to cry
,
because she was alright and wouldn’t die on him.

And that was when she realized she was already talking. She’d been talking since the moment she started breathing again. She was the person who wouldn’t shut up. 
Lucas, Lucas
, she said over and over again as Jack sat there, a look of fear and horror on his face.

Chapter 
8

They came back to the room and waited for the hotel doctor to check Val out. He said she was fine. The seawater was out of her system and the best thing to do now was rest. 
I can do that
, she thought, already half asleep.

Jack sat beside her, his hand clasping hers as though afraid she'd disappear the moment he let go. When she awoke he was gone. On his side of the bed there was a note. And yeah, it was super weird just thinking that he had a ‘side of the bed
. ’

The note said he was in the bar. 
I don’t blame him. I want to be in the bar.

Val sat up, remembering the look on his face when she kept calling out for Lucas. 
Shit, we are going to have another fucking conversation
. And she had to tell him about her dream/vision of Lucas drowning right along with her.

Surely that was a dream.

Her mind had tricked her, made her see him. But, it had seemed so real. 
So real and so awful
. Seeing him again, even a pretend him…her body had responded. Not just simple attraction
,
but more than that. She'd felt like a lamp that had been plugged in. Unnatural brightness and connectivity. She'd bet money it had something to do with her being an Empath and drinking his blood.

It was sunset and the sky was a hundred different shades of pink and orange. She’d been asleep for hours. And, even though it was wrong, she wanted to call Lucas. Just to make sure he was okay. 
Of course he’s okay. You can’t call him, it’s like an alcoholic taking a shot of Nyquil to prevent a cold.

She looked out at the ocean
, 
and absently watched the curtains billowing into her room from the breeze. They undulated, rippling into her room and back out again several times—Then they stopped. The sheers caught on a form, the indentation of a person standing on the balcony.

Val leaped out of bed and ran to the balcony, pulling back the sheers and almost running into a pair of crimson lips.

Oh shit. Rachel.

Her skin was like porcelain, her dark brown hair pushed behind her ears. It was short and thick. She looked different than usual. 
Softer. More feminine. Less murderous.

She wore black linen pants and a pink, silk camisole-top that showed her pale arms. Incongruously, she wore flip-flops with a pretty gold bow on them. Her toes were painted the same color red as her lips and she looked like she'd just come from a pedicure.

She looks better dead than I do alive. Bummer. 

“
Valerie, Lucas sent me to check on you. Don't run, it'll just make me hungry. And Lucas would kill me if something happened to you. Come have a chat. I brought you a present.” She gave Valerie a pretty smile.

Val went to the bed first, reaching under her pillow for her stake. Lifestyle hazard. They hadn’t brought guns to Hawaii, what with not wanting to be arrested and all. Plus they hadn’t thought they would need them. Hopefully, that was still true.

Val went outside, making sure the stake was in plain sight. Rachel was sitting in a chair, legs crossed. A manila folder rested on her lap. Rachel looked at her carefully. From head to toe, then back again. It wasn't sexual, or even predatory
, 
but studious.

“
What, is he going to quiz you?” Val asked.

Val thought Rachel smiled for a moment, but it was fleeting. “He will want to know 
everything
,” she said dramatically. “Look at you, a simple human snaring the Big Bad. Well, almost human, hmm?”

“
He told you?” Val asked, shocked.

“
Oh, yes. Only me, though. It’s not something he wants to get out.”

“
You stabbed me and almost killed me. You almost killed him, too! Why would he tell you anything?” Val said, incredulous.

Rachel looked unimpressed, stuck her leg out and looked at her toes, no doubt examining her recent polish job. “I'm one of Lucas' favorites. Well, probably the 
only
 favorite. He's really gone off vampires, in the last, what, three, four hundred years? But that's just what I hear. I'm only around a hundred, so just about everything I know is history or rumor.”

“
Around a hundred?”

“
Yeah. I’m 106, but when vampires talk time they usually round to the nearest century.”

That was bizarre. “You cannot be his favorite,” she said indignantly.

Rachel actually laughed. “Oh ho! Look at you thinking you know so much about him.”

Valerie gave her an are-you-fucking-crazy-look. Although, she was Marion’s girlfriend
, 
so maybe she was crazy. “He turned your girlfriend into a dried-out mummy and put her in a box before torturing you.”

“
Yes. And he also made me super-powerful and sent me to check up on his sweetie.”

Val ran her hands through her hair. It was brittle and knotted with salt from the ocean. And she suspected it looked like the sort of tangle a small rodent would like to vacation in.

Oh man, she was so weak, and yet, she had to ask, “Why didn’t he come himself?”

Rachel laughed— again. The sound so sincere and loud that a few birds dashed away from the palm tree next to her room.
Isn’t she just the perkiest person.

“
Seriously? You’re on some faux-honeymoon after telling him to go fuck himself and you wanted him to come after you? You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

Val slumped down into a chair. “Am I a terrible person?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.

“
I’m a vampire. I kill people. In my book you’re fucking Mary Poppins with a slightly mischievous boy-craziness thing happening.”

Was that supposed to make her feel better? 
Well, it doesn’t make me feel any worse.

“
Where is my present?” Val asked, changing the subject.

“
Ta da!” Rachel picked up the folder and held it towards Valerie. Cautiously, Valerie reached forward and took it.

Rachel settled back in the chair, legs crossed demurely as she looked out at the ocean and waited for Valerie to do or say something. She seemed happy to be here, tilting her face up to the sky and closing her eyes.

“
So, how come you won the trip to Hawaii? And why are you not burned to pieces?”

Rachel opened her eyes, her expression wary. “Too late. The sun set ten minutes ago. Oh, I almost forgot. Lucas wants you to practice containing yourself. Now that you have his blood, you are all over the place. In his dreams and memories. Frankly, he looks exhausted. You need to cut the guy a break. You dump him then haunt him. It's just not nice.”

She was outraged, “I'm not trying to! What do I do to stay away from him?”

“
I put a Post-It Note on that page. Some mental training stuff. Start tonight, see if you can get yourself separated from him sooner rather than later. He's not a guy you want to push, my tasty treat.”

Valerie nodded, uncertain what to say or even how to feel about the fact that Lucas wanted her to stay out of his mind.