Love Is... (3.5) (3 page)

Matthew

So, this is Rafael. Rosie did a good job painting the picture but she did not do him justice, he’s fucking face meltingly gorgeous.

Despite the fact that they’re both beautiful, you’d never believe that Rosie and Rafe are siblings. She has piercing green eyes and flame red hair, and she’s tiny. Rafael is at least six foot two with silky black waves of thick hair and the deepest chocolate eyes I’ve ever known. I don’t know how I’m keeping my cool.

“Can I get you a drink?” Rafe asks with so much promise as he briefly licks his lower lip,

“Yeah, erm, Bacardi and Coke. Thanks.”

I hand my empty glass over and watch as Rafe walks away, his slim fitting jeans perfectly displaying his delicious arse and narrow waist. The perfect base before his back is sculpted up and out towards his broad shoulders. He’s as close to perfect as I’ve ever seen in a man.

As Rafe walks back towards me, I notice his face drop from the heart stopping smile into something closely resembling a snarl. I’m so distracted by the cut of his fitted waistcoat and shirt, and the way the sleeves are rolled up to reveal his muscular forearms, that I’m startled when my brother Michael talks from beside me.

“Don’t Matthew! There’s enough gay in the family without you fucking my brother in law!”

“Michael I’m not fucking anyone… not yet at least!” I smile as Michael becomes flustered with panic and Rafe joins us, handing me a drink.

“Michael.” He says curtly

“Rafael.” My brother responds, just as sharply before turning and walking towards Rosie.

“Uh oh, I think he’s gone to tell Mummy that we’ve been bad boys!” I laugh as I take a sip and Rafe raises his eyebrows.

“You two don’t get on?” He asks, sounding surprised.

“Oh I can’t stand the little prick. And I’d say I wish he’d never met Rosie and ruined her life, but right now I’d say that getting engaged and throwing this party is the best thing he’s ever done!”

Rafe and I talked for about an hour about his café and my business. We sat opposite each other in a quiet corner of the room laughing and edging closer to each other with each tension filled pause in conversation. The pauses weren’t due to lack of things to talk about. They came when he smiled that smile that caused my stomach to flip over, or when I noticed him staring as I licked my lips after he laughed and leant in close, grabbing at my thigh to steady himself.

I can’t get my head around it. I’ve never felt so drawn to a man, so desperate to tear someone’s clothes off and worship their body with my own. More than that though, I feel a connection with Rafe that I never imagined possible. It’s easy with him. I’ve known him for three hours and I’m hooked.

“Hi Matthew, I’m Pippa. Rosie says that you’re gay and I know that Rafe is immensely hot but just so you know…if there’s any small chance that you want to try the ladies, I’m your girl!”

I’m pulled out of my Rafe daze as the tall brunette thrusts her hand towards me and winks, grinning mischeivously. Rafe bursts out into laughter and Pippa, still holding my hand, kisses his cheek and then mine before dancing her way to the bar.

“Erm…!”

“Yeah, that’s Pip!”

Rafe was pulled away to speak to some of his family soon after Pippa’s interruption and a couple of my cousins dragged me off to their table to discuss marathon training, but I couldn’t stop looking for him, at him.

My eyes followed him. Making sure that I knew exactly where he was and drinking him in. My heartbeat raced each time I caught him looking at me, and the shy smile that he gave every time we made eye contact across the room stopped me dead.

I’ve no idea how long it’s been since we were separated but it feels like hours. I’m dying to have him near again, I need to. I start to make my way over to where Rafe is sitting talking to an elderly lady in a wheelchair and as if he senses me coming he looks straight at me, into me. My stomach leaps into my throat and I know…I’m in trouble!

“This is ridiculous!” I say on a laugh as we meet each other half way.

“I know.  I’m supposed to be staying away from men…”

“I don’t think I can stay away from you Rafe. That’s so stupid because I just met you but I think there’s a spark that we have to explore. I want to.”

“I just…I don’t want to rush into something, but you’re right. I can’t walk away without knowing that I’ll see you again.”

“There’s no rush Rafael. Here,” I hand Rafe my phone after typing his name onto the screen, “It’s just waiting for your number. I’ll call you, and maybe when you have some time we can grab a drink, no pressure. I’d just like to see you again.” Rafe smiles as he takes my phone and nods as he types in his number.

The DJ calls for Rosie and Michael to take to the floor for the last dance of the evening and people crowd around as 'Your Song' by Ellie Goulding starts to play.  Surrounded by family members, both mine and his, Rafe takes my hand in his and smiles before he turns to watch his sister and my brother enjoy their moment. The electricity between us is undeniable, I’m addicted.

Rafe

“Oh Rafe, that’s so exciting. So when are you seeing him again?”

Pip is staying at the flat with me tonight and she can’t help but grill me over late night, or early morning tea and toast. Considering that I couldn’t bear the thought of going to Rosie’s engagement party less than twenty four hours ago, it feels like actually going could be the best move that I’ve ever made.

“I don’t know, but soon I hope. I just don’t want to rush it and I’m worried that if we’re alone together, I won’t be able to resist. He’s so sexy and he smells so…damn…good! Oi…you’re getting crumbs in the bed!”

Pippa laughs as she tries to brush the toast crumbs out of her side of the bed onto the floor.

“Oh it’s only crumbs! Anyway, what’s so wrong with not being able to resist. You’re two hot pieces who are intensely attracted to each other. I already know the sex is going to be mind blowing so just go for it!”

I wish I could, but I need to resist, for a while at least. I don’t think for a second that Matthew is anything like any of my exes, but I need to be sure before I put my heart on the line. Who am I kidding? I want him too much already. Even without sex it’d kill me if he walked away.

“Well, we’ll see. There was a definite spark, like a lightning strike to be fair, but I don’t know.  He might not even call! I might be cursed and just have to endure him dancing with his new gorgeous boyfriend at Rosie’s wedding!”

I lay back and pull a pillow over my face. What is wrong with me? I’ve known the bloke a few hours and I’m already obsessed! Pippa laughs and pulls the pillow from my face. I’m trying to blindly fight her off when she holds up my illuminated phone for me to see.

“He may not ever call Rafe, but I think he’s just text you!”

I sit up and my heart is pounding, it’s probably just Rosie saying goodnight. I open the message.

‘I couldn’t wait any longer to get in touch! I hope you still want to see me again when you wake up tomorrow, I’ll call you to find out. Sleep well, M x’

I am open mouthed, stunned! He wants me, really truly wants to see me again. I don’t know why I’m surprised, I knew there was something special between us but he actually text me, and he’s going to call.

“Let me see then!” Pippa grabs my phone and leaps off the end of my bed, dancing around the room as she reads it aloud. “Wow, Rafe! He is keen…”

She starts tapping away and I leap towards her as I realise that she’s replying. I grab my phone from her hand but she’s already clicked send.

“I can’t wait. I can’t tell you how much I wish that I was the old version of me tonight, the one that would take a guy home within an hour of meeting him. My bed has never felt so empty! Rafe x’

“PIP!”

I am mortified and immediately start to type out another message.

“I’m sorry, that was Pippa. She’s a nightmare!”

I fear that I’ve blown it, well that Pippa has blown it for me, but my phone quickly beeps and vibrates in my hand.

“That’s a shame…I was ready to call a taxi and ask for your address! I’ll call you tomorrow. Goodnight Rafe. M x’

Pippa is smug as I try to keep the smile from my face. I text back simply
‘goodnight x’
before lying down and attempting to sleep, I don’t know how I’m going to manage to shut off my brain but if I do, I know for certain who I’ll be dreaming about.

Rafe

Sunday

I woke early this morning. Pip was up and singing in the shower before seven and there’s nobody on earth that could sleep through that. The only good thing about her being up before me is that she’s already got a pot of coffee on the go and the smell helps me into the land of the living.

I stretched as I tried to wake up and reached for my phone. There was nothing new on there, “It’s the crack of dawn Rafe, give him chance!” I scolded myself out loud before I saw Matthew’s face in my mind’s eye again and started to smile. The way he twists his mouth up on the right side when he smiles is too delicious for words.

After Pippa left, I pottered around the flat tidying and vacuuming Pippa’s toast crumbs from the side of the bed and almost forgot that I was waiting for his call.

It’s almost midday when I hear my phone ringing from the kitchen and my heart leaps into my throat. I rush to the kitchen to answer, and hope I don’t sound too flustered.

“Hey,” I answer, hopefully coolly!

“Hi…Sorry it’s late, I slept in.” The sound of his voice and the deep thoughtful breath he took before his apology has my stomach doing somersaults.

“Oh, its ok, it’s not late really. I’m just cleaning!” Rafe…shut up! I cringe at my awkwardness! I’m always the cool confident one!

“Oh ok, I’m just going for a run and I was wondering if you were busy? Your café is sort of on my route. I thought I could run there and come for a coffee, that’s if you don’t mind me being a big sweaty mess?”

I can’t resist it… “You know full well that’s exactly how I want you!”

Matthew laughs, the kind of laugh that curls my toes it was so full of promise.

“Then I’ll see you soon I guess?”

“Oh, Matthew sorry, the café is closed on Sundays, but come round the back, my flat’s upstairs.”

“Oh, are you sure that’s ok?”

“Of course, buzz when you’re here.”

“Ok great, I’m looking forward to it Rafe,”

“Me too. See you soon.”

Matthew hangs up first and I spin on my heels to double check the flat. It’s immaculate, I however am not. I expected him to call today, not visit. I need a shower, so head towards the en suite with my stomach in knots.

I hear the buzz of the door and head over to the intercom,

“Hey, it’s open. Come on up.”

I open my door and I’m speechless as Matthew makes his way up the stairs.

Oh. My. God!

He is smiling up towards me, that god like smile that turns me into a jabbering idiot. His blonde hair is pushed back and wet with sweat, as is his t-shirt, causing it to cling obscenely to every perfectly defined muscle in his upper body. His amazingly muscular arms flex deliciously as he grips the banister on both sides to propel himself up the top step, the full sleeve tattoo on his left arm that was hidden by his shirt the night before now almost completely on display and making me pant.

“Hi,” I say, biting my lip.

“Hey,”

Matthew steps forward and without hesitation grips the back of my neck and pulls me in to meet his kiss. My hands instinctively come to rest on his sides and I can’t hide my arousal as I run my fingers over his abs and gasp against his lips.

“It took too long to get here!” Matthew whispers against my mouth and I struggle to catch my breath, “I’m sorry to catch you off guard, but I couldn’t help myself!”

I smile. I really didn’t mind the greeting.

“Oh don’t apologise, I’m certainly not nervous anymore!” I smile and Matthew leans back and laughs,

“Ditto,” He blows out a deep breath, “I believe you were going to make me a coffee?”

I back into the flat holding Matthew’s hands, guiding him inside,

“Anything you want!” I wink, and head into the kitchen as he kicks the door closed behind him.

Matthew and I sat at opposite ends of my sofa, turned in and mirroring each other’s relaxed position as we drank coffee, listened to music and talked. I learned more about his business and his eyes lit up as he talked about how he’d built it up from nothing and all the plans that he had for the future.

I talked about the café and the gym where I teach. We discussed football and rugby, martial arts and films and before I realised it, we’d been talking for four hours.

“Shit!” I say quietly as I notice the time.

“What’s wrong?” Matthew sounds concerned and I realise that I don’t want him to worry,

“Oh it’s nothing, sorry. I just need to bake some cakes and things for tomorrow. I didn’t realise the time, that’s all. You can come and talk to me in the kitchen while I get started if you like?”

“Oh. I can help if you want?” Matthew’s eyes are wide and genuine and I can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

We walk into the kitchen and I lean down to turn on the oven. I glance sideways and come face to face with the part of Matthew that I’m dying to get to know more than any other. He’s wearing running tights but due to fact that we’ve been sitting I’d not noticed that they leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

I flush and look up to a smiling Matthew.

“You’re staring!” He says with a smile and a delicious glint in his eye.

“I can’t help it!” I smile and stand up, unable to bring my eyes upward as Matthew dramatically clears his throat.

“I’m up here Rafael!” He says on a laugh.

“You did that on purpose and you know you did!” I blush as I look in his eyes, then down, and then up again. “You know that’s…” I circle my finger in the direction of the large bulge that’s taking all of my attention, “quite impressive … and very distracting!”

Matthew grins and pulls me close,

“Ok, I’ll admit I could have worn something less revealing!” He leans in and kisses my jawline, “I apologise, but you’ve got me on my knees Rafe, I have to pull out the big guns!” He laughs and kisses the other side, and then just below my ear. I audibly whimper.

“Big guns are one thing Matthew. That,” I reach my hand down and squeeze gently then give an appreciative hum, “That,” I lean close so that our lips are almost touching, “Is quite another!”

Matthew laughs against my mouth as he leans in to kiss me and I playfully hit him with my oven glove.

“Make yourself useful!” I point Matthew in the direction of the mixing bowl on the side and he laughs.

“I really stink Rafe, are you sure you want me in this kitchen?”

Matthew pulls at his top and frowns. I don’t think either of us expected that he’d be here this long but in truth, it feels too comfortable.

“Oh…you don’t have to stay if you want to go and get cleaned up. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you.” I think I may be pouting at the prospect of him leaving.

“I don’t want to leave Rafe; I just don’t want to stink up your cakes!”

He smiles and I lean back against the counter.

“Well, you can sit and talk to me. Or, you can have a shower here and wear something of mine?”

“Really, you wouldn’t mind?”

“Matthew, I’ve kissed you, I’ve groped you and I’ve made you coffee…lending you a towel and some clothes is nothing!” I smile and then fight to retrieve my jaw from the ground as Matthew without warning pulls off his t-shirt.

“Well then,” He smiles, knowing that I’m gasping at the sight of his amazing torso, “lead the way…”

“I swear I gave you a t-shirt!” I grin as Matthew walks back into the kitchen barefoot and shirtless, his tattoos on full display to my eager eyes.

He stands close behind me as I stand melting chocolate on the stove. His hands run around my sides and up my torso under my shirt,

“How about we even the score?” he speaks in a whisper and he’s so close that I can feel the heat of his breath on my ear as he starts to lift my shirt. My brain kicks into gear, this is going too fast. I turn to face him and take his face in my hands.

“Matthew…”

“Hey, there’s no pressure. I’m just really attracted to you. Sorry…” He looks worried, as though he’s come on too strong.

I lean in and kiss him briefly on the lips,

“No, please don’t apologise. I feel the same; I just don’t want to rush this.” I kiss him again, “I think, I mean…I hope you feel it too, but this,” I blush slightly and kiss him again, “it feels good, right. I want to do this properly”

Matthew smiles and lifts his hands to mine,

“I do feel it.”

Matthew kisses me this time. It’s not brief and comforting. It’s deep and full of something that makes my stomach flip, something that I’ve never felt before but I’m suddenly addicted to. I can’t let him go.

One lemon drizzle cake, twenty four chocolate muffins and a Victoria sponge later, Matthew and I are sitting on the sofa listening to music.

I’m leaning against one end and Matthew is leaning against me, his back to my chest as we listen to Etta James in the flickering candlelight. I run my fingers over the tattoo on his rib cage, over his heart. It’s of a heart shaped padlock, it’s detailed and intricate. It’s beautiful.

Neither of us has said a word in what feels like hours. We’re just content, comfortable and full of hope for the future. If anyone was to see us together, they’d see a happy, settled couple, not two people who met each other only twenty four hours ago!

“I don’t want to leave.” Matthew speaks sleepily. His eyes are still closed as I stroke his hair. “I need to go soon or I’m never going to be able to make it through that door. But I do not want to leave!”

“I know. This is crazy, I feel like I’ve known you forever,” I stop stroking Matthew’s hair and lower my hand to meet his on his chest, linking my fingers with his, “Where do we go from here? I mean, I just really think slow is the key to making this work.”

“I do, and I think you’re right.” Matthew pushes himself up and turns to face me. He’s sitting close, between my thighs, his right thigh pushed under my left. “I think we should agree to date and wait. No sex for,” he looks at me and smiles, “Thirty days!”

“WHAT?” My eyes are wide.

“What, can’t you wait that long?” Matthew is grinning now and my competitive streak kicks into gear.

“You will cave before me, English!” I lean forward and kiss him lightly, he laughs.

“So, no sex and we can kiss but only ‘over clothes’ touching!”

“Oh, come on! I can’t even touch you skin to skin? Are you trying to kill me?” My resolve is already wavering. I’ve had a hint today of what lies beneath Matthew’s clothes and I can’t bear a month of not seeing or touching it!

“No because if you touch me, I…will… cave.” Matthew leans forward and kisses me in between each of his last three words.

I groan, “Fine! Thirty days. At least you’re agreeing to still be around in a month, I guess.” I kiss him,

“Oh Rafe, I’m going nowhere!”

The sexual tension between us is frightening, and that’s after one day. What the hell will it be like after thirty?