Love By Accident (22 page)

She had no photos of Gil set out, no mementos of his life, of their life, prominently displayed. He'd lived; they'd shared a past. Seeing Gil in those photos at Matt's had brought back memories, but good memories.

They'd laughed together, had fun together. Many of her memories with Gil were tied up with Matt, but not all of them. Gil had captured her heart early on in their college days and she'd enjoyed every moment they had spent together. His laugh was goofy and had always brought a smile to her face, even if his jokes had leaned more to the lame side.

The pictures came from the past with all the details of the present. Sitting on a couch, watching a movie, or side by side at a restaurant. His fingers had always found their way into her hair. Sometimes he'd stroked it, other times he'd rested his palm on her shoulder so her hair brushed the back of his hand. Either way, she remembered with a tug of her heart, he'd loved her hair.

It didn't hurt, Lauren realized, opening her eyes and staring at the dark ceiling. Thinking back on the good times didn't hurt as much as she'd thought it would. It made her sad, certainly, for what was lost, what would never be again, but she was able to recall Gil without it always going back to the accident. Without what had happened just before.

The idea popped in her head. Lauren took deep breaths, letting the idea roll through her mind until she could hold it without her nerves fraying like those sparklers people put on cakes instead of candles.

When she'd convinced herself she could do it, she threw back the covers, found thick wool socks for her feet and drew an old sweatshirt over her t-shirt. Lauren flicked lights on as she went. Okay, maybe she was still a little unsure about this. But it was too late to turn back. Opening the inside door, she talked aloud to give herself courage.

"It's just a basement, nothing here to worry about. Now, where did you put it?" she asked, scanning the boxes stacked in neat rows along the back wall.

They were all labeled and she began reading.

College books, Mom and Dad's china set they gave her before moving to Yuma, camping gear.
Hmm
, she thought, maybe in the spring she'd dig that out.

In the third row she found what she was looking for. Thankfully it was near the top and she only had to move one box, the one proclaiming it was full of Halloween decorations. Knowing what was inside made Lauren smile. She set it at the foot of the stairs and went back for what she'd come for in the first place.

She grabbed the handles of the banker's box.

Lauren, forgive me.

Releasing the box, she gasped, spun round. Nobody was there. It was only her, a bunch of boxes and months worth of dust. Still… She swallowed. Her body broke out in goose bumps and even her scalp tingled.

There were no open windows in the basement yet she felt air brush over her face.

Oh, jeez. Yanking the box from the pile, she hurried upstairs, set it down and raced down for the Halloween box. Once back at the top of the stairs she slammed the door closed, leaned heavily against it.

When her breathing slowed to a gallop, she took the Halloween box and placed it next to the first one she'd brought up, the one marked "Gil."

***

"Hi there Officer," Cougar said, taking the vinyl seat next to Matt at the Mountainview.

"Morning," Matt replied, pushing aside his half-eaten cheeseburger. He had no appetite and the bit he'd eaten was currently lodged smack in the middle of his chest. He'd sent the bullet off to forensics in Edmonton and was waiting on the results, though he knew the waiting wasn't the reason for his bleak mood.

"What's got you looking so down? Bad day at work?"

Matt had come straight to the café after his shift, so he was still dressed in his uniform. The tie, though, had been ripped off and was currently on the passenger seat of his truck. Since his apartment had held no appeal, he'd opted to come here, but the Mountainview without Lauren wasn't appealing either.

"You could say that. How about you, Cougar?"

The older man nodded and poured sugar into the mug Juliet placed in front of him. The waitress grinned at Matt, her gaze alight with humor. She winked at him as though she knew his darkest secrets. It gave him the willies.

"I had a great day. Went out for a drive, met the nicest young couple from New Zealand."

Matt's gaze was brought round by the genuine excitement in Cougar's voice. The old man's eyes danced like a man half his age. Matt admired him. Age was only a number and life was not to be taken for granted. Anyone who figured that out was worth spending time with. Suddenly hungry again, Matt reached for his cheeseburger.

Taking advantage of Matt's full mouth Cougar regaled him with a few more hunting stories and tales which were so long or convoluted, Matt wasn't sure how much truth they entailed. Based on fact, likely, but no doubt embellished for effect. Still, wiping his mouth on his napkin and tossing it onto the empty plate, Matt was sure of one thing. Lauren had said Cougar knew everyone and everything. Who better to keep an eye out for a poacher?

"Cougar, you up for a side job?"

His smile showed off a perfect set of sparkling dentures.

"Always up for a little work, my boy. What do you need me for?"

"We have a poacher in the Park. Four bears found, guy's after the gall bladders. I need an extra pair of eyes and ears. I don't want you to do more than that, okay? You're not to go out in the backcountry, or get yourself in any dangerous situations, but Lauren says you know everyone so I thought you might overhear things. Can you spare some time to do that?"

Cougar finished his coffee and banged his mug onto the table. Five years fell away from his face when he leaned forward, eyes alert and excited.

"You just tell me where to start, Officer."

***

Lauren was elbow deep in a bucket of dirty water. The pungent smell of vinegar filled the living room and lingered in the kitchen, which boasted clean walls for the first time since she had moved in. Sloshing her wet rag onto the wall, Lauren scrubbed despite the protests from her shoulders. She'd been cleaning since morning. Nevertheless satisfaction kept her going. She was making changes, much needed ones, and she was drawing immense gratification from taking these steps.

She'd driven a go-kart. She'd acknowledged her house was a wreck and was doing something about it. Her mountain bike had seen the light of day. The box of Gil memorabilia was in her room. Unopened, despite her conviction that she could do it last night, but it was near. And she knew, because she could look at it without falling apart or pretending it wasn't there, that she would open it. Very soon. For now, it was enough to know she'd taken the step to haul it out of the basement.

Night was a dark blanket behind her window, even though it was only seven o'clock. She hadn't spoken to Matt since last night and the fact that he hadn't called her today, despite her saying she needed time, scared her a little.

They'd been building something good, something special and she was afraid she'd ruined it. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know leaving a man's place and telling him, for God's sake, that it was to think of another wasn't conducive to furthering a budding relationship.

With a last scrub along the baseboards Lauren finished. Arching her lower back, she stretched. Her muscles weren't happy with her, but it was worth it. Seeing the walls clean, smelling the vinegar and knowing it represented the start of a change was worth a hundred pats on the back. It was silly to be proud of something so trivial, so basic, and yet it glowed within her. She was starting to recognize herself again.

Two sharp raps came from her kitchen.

Matt!

When she swung the front door open, it took all she had not to let the disappointment show.

"Hi, Nick."

"Hey gorgeous, brought you some presents," Nick said, holding plastic bags bulging with stuff.

He had an angry red gash running across the back of his hand.

"What happened to you?"

"Did some things for my mom and ripped my hand open. My own dumb fault. Don't worry about it."

"It looks painful."

"Nah. So, are you gonna help me bring in the rest of your supplies or what?"

When they'd finished unloading, there were four gallons of paint on her floor, one extension handle, a tray, a pack of plastic liners, stacks of painter's tape, along with an assortment of brushes and rollers. She dug through until she found a receipt, then cut Nick a cheque for the amount.

"Wow, that's a lot of stuff. I don't think a few days off will get it all done."

Nick leaned against her counter, crossed his ankles. "I'm available, if you need an extra hand."

"Thanks, Juliet offered too, but I think I'll take it slow and just do what I can. Besides, I kinda enjoy doing it."

He shook his head. "You're sick."

Lauren smiled. "Have you ever known me to be normal?"

Nick regarded her seriously. "Wow, things have sure changed. You've never cracked jokes about yourself before. And you look," he scrutinized her further, "you look happy." He shook his head. "I wish I could have been the man to do that for you."

"Nick."

He held up his hand. "I know, I know. We won't go there again. Can I just say it makes me glad to see you like this?"

"Thanks. And thanks for running these errands for me, I appreciate it."

"I'd do just about anything for you, gorgeous."

She nodded. "I hope I've been as good a friend to you as you've been to me."

His smile was warm and real. She knew she wasn't the woman for Nick, but he really was a great guy and she hoped one day he'd find the woman for him.

"You have been. You're the one person I can lean on about my mom and it means a lot to me, Lauren."

"And I'm here, anytime. How is she, by the way?"

Clouds darkened Nick's eyes. "Hurting. She's trying to be strong for Kyle and me, but you can tell it's taking everything out of her."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Have you had supper?"

"No."

"Want to order a pizza?"

She knew it wasn't food he was after, it was company. And since there was so little she could do to help him and his family through this crisis, she was happy to oblige.

"Sounds good to me," she said and reached for the phone.

EIGHTEEN

Matt threw his clothes in a locker, pinned the key to his trunks and strode to the showers. The stream hit him with a cold blast to the chest. After adjusting the temperature, he dunked his head under the spray.

Lauren said Gil hadn't loved her anymore. He'd had a day to process it and it still didn't make any damn sense. He'd lived with them, he knew for certain they'd shared a bedroom and in all the time they'd dated Matt couldn't recall Gil ever being relocated to the couch. Of course they'd fought, because they were normal, but no arguments or shouting matches came to mind that would imply the end of their relationship. There had been times Matt had felt some coldness between them, but he'd chalked it up to normal relationship stuff. Had there been more to it?

The worst part was, he had no right to ask. What could he do, walk up to Lauren and demand to know all about her love life with his best friend? Fuck.

Turning off the taps, Matt grabbed the towel he'd left on the bar nearby. Poolside, the biting smell of chlorine filled his nose. Maybe a couple dozen laps would ease the strain in his shoulders, let him sleep tonight, 'cause he sure as hell hadn't last night. Maybe the exercise would distract him from thoughts of Lauren, and Lauren needing to be alone to think about the man she'd loved.

Maybe he'd grow wings and fly.

Arms cutting into the water, his muscles moved more by memory than from actual direction. He couldn't stop the unease flittering around his mind. He was desperate to know what Lauren was thinking, sick that she couldn't turn to him. But did he want her to? Flipping onto his back, Matt considered the question. Yes, he wanted to know where her heart and mind were at. He knew she'd felt something in his arms. Hell, they both had. But at the same time, if she couldn't take the next step with him, there was only one reason why.

Gil.

Fuck, what a mess. When he was finally going to get the girl he'd yearned for, the man who'd been an obstacle for them in the past had once again stepped between them. And didn't that just make Matt an asshole for even thinking such a thing about his best friend?

And where the hell had Gil disappeared to? The freaking guy could turn up in his truck, risk an accident, but didn't bother to come by when Matt
actually
needed to talk to him?

Well, Gil had better show up soon, because Matt's patience was on its last thread.

***

After sending Nick home with the leftover pizza, Lauren had decided to come to the pool and soak her sore muscles in the hot tub. She hadn't planned on this.

Matt pulled himself out of the water and Lauren bit her lip. Oh. My. God. Water dripped off his shoulders, slaked his toned chest and trailed down his abs. He slicked his hair back with an absent brush of his hand. His face was serious and intense; he could give Daniel Craig a run for his money.