Love By Accident (19 page)

His eyes darkened and his jaw went tight. "Maybe not, but I'd always hoped one day you'd change your mind. Lauren, I've been in love with you since the first time you filled my coffee cup. I was sure, so damn sure, that if I took my time and didn't push too hard, eventually I'd win you over."

Lauren wished she could do something to ease the tension in the room, the pain clouding Nick's eyes. With his mother sick, he didn't need this drama. Especially when he was taking a few days off to spend with his brother and his mom. But she couldn't lie to him either.

"Matt and I have a history. But this is the first time we've…well…dated, if that's even what we're doing." She flicked her bangs out of the way. "Look, I'm not sure where this is going, or what to call it. It's all happened in the last few days, it's not like I was seeing him all this time behind your back."

"Is that supposed to be a comfort?"

"Nick," she sighed. "I'm sorry you're hurt. You're a nice guy and--"

Nick leapt to his feet. "Don't," he growled. "Don't you dare call me a nice guy. You know what happens to nice guys, Lauren? They finish last." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "First he gets my damn job, now you, too. Sorry I ruined your lunch. Kyle," he called, "we're going."

Before she could do more than take a step, Nick grabbed his coat and slammed out the door. She turned as Kyle was coming from the living room. She forced a smile, moved to give him a hug but he ducked out of the way and ran out.

Lauren sat, hung her head.

"Shit," she said as regret washed over her. "That went well."

FIFTEEN

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Lauren called to the ringing telephone on the other side of her door. Keys and flowers in one hand and two bags of groceries dangling from her cold fingers in the other, Lauren hurried to send the key home. The key ring fell out of her hand and tumbled to the porch.

"Come on," she muttered, "work with me here." Dropping the food, thankful she hadn't bought eggs, she shifted the bouquet to her left hand, grabbed the keys and tried again. The phone trilled its impatience.

"I'm working on it!"

Then, thankfully, the key slid in and the handle turned. The door groaned as it opened. The cordless telephone continued to show its annoyance at being ignored. Her first thought was, who on earth would let it ring so many times? It was quickly followed by, maybe it was time she got an answering machine.

Lauren dropped everything onto the table, grabbed the extension. "Hello?"

"Hey, Lauren. It's me."

"Nick," she replied, relieved to be hearing his voice, but unsure how to proceed. She wasn't going to get into her personal relationship with Matt but neither did she want to sever her and Nick's friendship. He was going through hell with his mom and she didn't want to abandon him, but if he couldn't get it through his head that she wasn't interested in him…

"Are you still talking to me?" he asked.

"I want to, Nick. But you stepped out of bounds yesterday."

"I know, it's why I'm calling. I had no right to say what I did about you and Matt."

"I never made you promises, Nick."

"No, you didn't. Look, Lauren, I can't change the fact that I love you anymore than you can change the fact that you don't love me back, but I'm hoping we can put this aside. I really don't want to lose you in my life, especially now."

"You've been far too good a friend for me to ever hold it against you."

He released a long breath as though he'd been holding it. "God, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

Lauren clutched the phone. "Nick, is everything alright? How's your mom?"

"The chemo's hit her hard this round. She's pretty weak and I--" his voice broke.

"Can I do anything? How's Kyle holding up?"

"Okay. He's at hockey practice right now. It's good for him, gives him something else to think about. I have to go get him in half an hour."

"Are you still coming home on Thursday?"

"Yeah, I think Mom should be stronger by then and my aunt is coming up from Calgary to stay with her for a few days. Plus I hate sitting here. I need to do something. I know being with her is important but it doesn't feel like it's enough."

"It's all you can do, Nick. And I'm sure she appreciates it."

"She does," he acknowledged, yet defeat laced his words. "So tell me what you've been up to."

She unwrapped her bouquet and took the pink carnations to the sink, trimming off the ends. She remembered well how much she used to beg Carmen to talk about her life on the coast as it kept her mind off her own problems. So keeping her voice light, despite her heart going out to Nick and Kyle, she talked.

"I've decided it's time I do some upkeep on this place. I'll start small, painting, curtains and such, and I'll start saving for the bigger stuff, like flooring and furniture."

"Wow. Who knew so much could happen in twenty four hours? What made you finally decide this?"

Not what, who, but she wouldn't mention Matt, not now when she and Nick were back on solid footing.

"I just can't believe it's taken me this long to actually do something. I mean, have you looked at these walls? They're ghastly. So with Thanksgiving over, we have a bit of a lull right now. I was thinking of taking the bus into Edmonton to buy some things."

Lauren filled the vase with water and set her flowers on the table.

"Why would you do that when I'm already there? Just tell me what you need and I'll bring it back with me."

"Oh, Nick, no. You have enough on your plate. I can take care of--"

"Please, Lauren. Like I said, I need something to do. Besides, think of the time it would save you. What do you need?"

She sighed. Would letting him help her only continue to encourage him to keep hoping she'd change her mind about him? On the other hand, she knew he was right. He needed something else to occupy his thoughts and time. Shoot.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Please, Lauren. Let me do this."

"All right," she conceded. "It's mostly paint anyway." She didn't need to go shopping in Edmonton for rugs and cheap home décor; she could do that online. As for material for curtains, it could wait a bit. And she'd be saving the bus fare money, which she could tuck into her flooring fund. If she worked fast, by the time Nick arrived with her paint, she'd have the walls washed.

"Thanks. I only have one thing to do on my way home, so I shouldn't be late on Thursday. Let me get some paper and a pen."

She listed what she needed, thanked him profusely then, reiterating he was forgiven for storming out on her yesterday, said her goodbyes.

Standing up, Lauren danced to the living room, already picturing its new color. "I can't wait, it'll be so--"

The words died on her lips. Oh, no. When she'd planned the trip to the city, she'd planned to purchase a few extra, more personal, items as well. But now she wasn't going, Nick was. And there was no way in hell she'd have him buy
this
for her. And she couldn't imagine buying it in Jasper either, not when every local knew her.

Lauren dropped into her rocking chair.

How was she going to get what she needed without the whole town knowing what she was up to?

***

Lauren felt like a criminal staking out her next target. With hands tucked deep in her jacket pockets and shoulders hunched up to her ears, she didn't think she'd ever felt so stupid in her life.

Light posts projected yellow orbs onto the dark road; a few cars were parked along the one-way street in front of various restaurants. Nobody seemed to be paying her any attention, yet she felt as though she was walking around with a flashing neon sign hanging over her head. Taking a deep breath, she slunk into the grocery store and grabbed a basket.

"Hi, Lauren," Donna said when she spotted her. "We missed you at coffee this morning."

"Oh, well, I had the day off."

"I'm glad I caught up with you. I was wondering if you've had a chance to look at the catalogue yet?"

Good grief, Lauren thought as her cheeks flamed. What were the chances that when she was out shopping for condoms--something she'd never done before--she'd be questioned about sex toys?

"Um, not yet."

"Well, you just let me know when you have."

"Um, I will. I better go," she gestured to her empty basket. "Nice seeing you, Donna."

"And you, dear." She waved as Lauren slipped down the next aisle.

Lauren sped past the peanut butter and jellies, her eyes glued firmly on the floor.

"Not working tonight, Lauren?"

Kelly, a single mom Lauren recognized from the café, asked. A chubby little boy rode in the front of the cart, but his attention was on the cereals next to him. Leaning as far to the side as he could, fat little fingers reached for the Corn Pops.

"No, not tonight," Lauren answered.

"Good for you," Kelly acknowledged with a nod. "Wish I had night off once in a while." Sighing, she handed the toddler the box he was whining for and headed up the aisle.

Lauren leaned against the shelves. She couldn't do this. Too many people knew her and she did not, absolutely did
not
want anyone seeing her paying for a box of condoms. Setting the basket in the pile in front of one of the tills, Lauren headed for the exit.

"Didn't find what you needed?" Donna asked, pushing a cart half-full of groceries.

"Oh, no. No. They didn't have any...well I couldn't find any...I'll see you later," she managed and ran out the grocery store.

The drug store across the street seemed a good alternative. Crossing the road, Lauren pushed into the quiet, almost reverent atmosphere of the shop. Unfortunately she ran into Betty, who was getting a prescription filled. They ended up chatting for ten minutes. Lauren walked out of there with a box of Tylenol. The night was giving her a headache.

Taking one of the side streets, Lauren headed for the corner where there was a combination souvenir and convenience store. This wasn't the best scenario because the cash register was central and she felt watched the whole time, although at least she didn't recognize the teenage girl behind the counter.

Lauren found the aisle she was looking for. The condoms were all hanging there, one kind under the other in two rows. Thankful the store was empty, she nevertheless pretended to look at the assortment of shaving creams while studying the brands and varieties of prophylactics out of the corner of her eye. She read the sizes and styles and felt her cheeks flame when the saw the rainbow package claiming to be full of tropical flavors and colors.

She didn't think she was brave enough for that, though. Maybe next time. If there was a next time. Flushed, she searched for a plain box and had just decided on the extra ribbed when the bells over the door chimed. Lauren glanced up, praying it wasn't anybody she knew.

Her stomach clutched. It was Matt!

Lauren ducked.

Whistling, he greeted the clerk and strolled to the back where the pop was sold. She didn't wait for him to leave, she was mortified and needed to get the heck out of there. Half crouched, she shuffled out the door, almost surprised when the clerk didn't chase her, thinking she must have stolen something.

Outside, she drew the crisp air into her lungs, held it, and released it in a slow stream. Had she lost her ever-loving mind? Surely she must have, because why else would she be doing this? But now she'd started, and it seemed dumb to get this far and go home empty handed as well as humiliated.

Across the street at another corner grocery store, she heard a car door slam and reflexively turned to see. Hope spurted through Lauren. She laughed giddily and ran across the street.

"Juliet!" she called.

The young woman turned and smiled when she recognized her. "Hey, I thought you'd be covered in paint by now."

"Uh, Nick's not back with it yet." Damn, she thought. Now what? Her ears heated despite the chilly night air, but she knew she needed help to do this. Next time she had to go to Hinton, she'd stock up, but this once, she needed someone to do it for her.

Swallowing her pride, she said, "Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"Sure," Juliet agreed around a mouthful of cherry scented gum. "What's up?"

Untwisting her tongue to say the words took two tries but Lauren finally managed it.

Juliet nearly swallowed her gum.

"You want me to buy you condoms?"

"Shh..." Lauren whispered, looking around. "Not so loud."

Juliet laughed. "It's the new guy."

"What? How did you--?"

"You've had months to do this if it were Nick."

"Just, can you get them, please?"

Juliet blew a bubble, then sucked it back into her mouth. "Anything special you're looking for?"

God, would this torment never end? "No, just get…something." Lauren dug out a twenty and handed it to Juliet. "And make sure you get a bag."

SIXTEEN