Authors: Michelle Beattie
The paper crinkled as his father folded it and set it on the coffee table. "Well, your mom and baba will be happy to see you." He continued the visual exam. "You want a beer?"
"Hell, yeah," Matt responded, sighing deeply. Just being in the familiar surroundings of his childhood eased the knots in his shoulders. Matt took a long pull of the beer and a little more tension slipped away as he and his father sat in companionable silence.
"Things not good at work?"
Matt scoffed. "You could say that." And then, without naming names, Matt told his father what he suspected and why he was in town. His father whistled through his teeth.
"Well, that explains some of it."
Matt finished his beer and set it down. "Some of what?"
"Some of the worry you're carrying. What's the reason for the rest? Is it Lauren?"
"Some of it," Matt sighed, thinking of his last words to Gil and how he hadn't seen him since. "We were arguing about this stupid poacher, and how I hadn't confided in her, and she called me Gil."
His father winced. "Ouch."
"Oh, it gets even better." Sarcasm dripped off his words. "Lauren said Gil was cheating on her. She'd found out that night and they'd broken up just before the accident happened."
"I find that hard to believe. Gil didn't seem the type."
"That's what I said, too, Dad. Even when she said she caught Gil at it, I defended him, not her."
The newspaper was folded, set aside and his dad leaned forward in his chair. "He was your friend, Matt, of course you'd believe him."
"But she's my friend too and I all but accused her of slander." Matt sighed, looked at his hands. "She kicked me out." He felt his dad's stare and finally raised his head to meet it.
"What do you want? In here," his dad tapped his chest.
"Well, I can tell you what I don't want. I don't want to lose her and I sure as hell don't want her calling me by his name again." Matt blew out a breath, scrubbed his hands over his face. "It broke my heart, Dad. And then--"
He stopped. God, could he tell his dad about Gil's visits or would the man think his only son was losing his mind? Because his father didn't press, simply waited silently and patiently for him to continue, Matt found himself wanting to unburden himself. What the hell? With his gaze solidly on his dad, he told him about Gil's "visits" and their "conversations".
"It must have been good to see him again."
Matt's chest swelled with emotion. "Dad, it was the best. I mean, after the initial shock and worry that I'd lost my mind." His thoughts went over their conversations again and feeling the pain rip through him, Matt leaned forward on the couch and braced his elbows onto his knees. "Gil admitted it, Dad. The cheating. And then," Matt had to take a minute as fresh pain jabbed in his chest. "And then he told me he'd been cheating on me with my own girlfriend."
He heard his father shift in the chair. When he looked up, his dad looked as shell shocked as Matt still felt. Silence reined, other than a ticking from the mantel clock. Finally his dad just raised his hands in a helpless gesture.
"I don't know what to say to that."
"Yeah, I know how you feel. After Gil died, I'd put him on a kind of pedestal, you know? And now...?" Matt shook his head.
"He was human, Son, like the rest of us."
Words failed Matt, so he simply nodded.
"Did he say he was sorry?"
The flood of emotion slammed Matt, taking his breath, leaving tears. "Yeah," he choked. "He did."
His father came to his side, placed a hand on Matt's shoulder. "Forgive him, Son. Forgive him and let him go. I think that's what Gil wants, why he came to you."
"Oh, God," Matt cried. "I was so mad, Dad, I told him to get the hell out of my life, that he'd ruined it enough. I was given a miracle to be able to talk to him again, and I threw it away."
"You were upset. You didn't mean it the way it came out. I'm sure Gil would understand."
Gil's image swam in Matt's eyes. "You should have seen his face. He begged me to listen and I told him to get lost. How could I turn him away? I don't want him to be gone, Dad," Matt wept. "I don't want to lose him all over again."
TWENTY-
FOUR
Though it was only four o'clock, Lauren had candles lining the tub. It had been a crazy day at work and her feet felt as though she'd hiked a mountain in three-inch heels. As the hot water rose, Lauren added a large dollop of lavender bubble bath to the stream.
The phone rang just after she threw her shirt onto the floor. Much as she longed to settle into the water and forget the hellish day, she nonetheless sprinted from the room in search of the cordless phone. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Matt since handing him the casing. He hadn't been in at all today and she was desperate to reconnect with him.
"Hello?"
"Lauren," Nick's voice rattled over the phone. "I'm so glad you're home. Can you come over, please? I really need a friend."
Oh God, had Matt gotten the evidence he'd needed? Lauren didn't hesitate. "I'm on my way." Running to the bathroom she grabbed her shirt, blew out the candles and shut off the taps. Leaving the bubbles behind, Lauren snatched her coat, jumped on her bike and raced for Nick's house.
When Lauren got there, Nick's front door was gaping open but he was nowhere to be seen. Nerves tightened her belly and for a horrible moment, she was scared to go inside. Good God, what would she find? He'd sounded so urgent, so needy. He wouldn't have--
Lauren dropped her bike onto his lawn, raced up the steps.
"I'm here, Lauren. In the kitchen."
Relief washed over her. He hadn't done anything stupid.
She found him at the table, head down on his folded arms. Stepping to his side, she placed a hand onto his shoulder.
"I'm an idiot, Lauren. I was so damn naïve."
Lauren grabbed a chair, sank heavily into it. Because she wasn't sure what point Matt's investigation was at, she couldn't very well say yes, he'd been very stupid, and tip her hand. Instead, she scooted her chair closer, covered his hand with her own.
His head lifted and when she saw the tracks of tears on his cheeks her heart broke a little more.
"You read the papers, right? You know there've been bears poached?"
"Yeah, I know." Whew, at least she didn't have to lie about that, too.
"It's me, Lauren. I did it."
Well, she didn't have to feign surprise. She'd never expected him to outright confess to her.
"Why? Why would you risk your career? Your life? It doesn't make sense," she said, finally verbalizing what she'd been thinking since she'd realized Nick was the poacher. "Your job is to protect those animals."
He shook his head, then tilted it back and covered his face with his hands. Regret clogged his words.
"I didn't know what else to do. When I heard the diagnosis, it was like the floor suddenly gave way and I was falling. All the worst-case scenarios played in my head and all I could think was
that's my mom
." His voice dropped. "I didn't want to lose my mom."
Lauren held him close, rocked him side to side like a child. His sobs saturated the air, his tears warmed her shoulder. Lauren still had her mother, so it was hard to imagine what she'd feel if she lost her. But she remembered the devastation of losing Gil.
"Were you poaching for the money? Aren't the treatments covered by health care?"
"Not for money, for gall bladders."
Of all the things… "What? How would that help?"
Nick pulled back. His shoulders lifted helplessly. "I'd watched a couple of shows on TV. They showed gall bladder salts being used to treat some cancers. I didn't know if it would work, but I had to try. What would Kyle do without his mom? He's only thirteen."
He implored her with his gaze to understand the path he'd gone down. It was all so heartbreakingly sad. Nick had tried to hold his family together by what he'd done, but by doing so he'd only succeeded in tearing it further apart.
"I couldn't imagine him living without Mom and now, not only will he lose her, but he'll lose me too." His face crumpled with guilt. "If the cancer doesn't kill her, this will." Fat tears poured down his reddened cheeks. "I didn't want to hurt her. I did this to try to save her. It was supposed to save her!"
He stood, kicked his chair aside. "Why is this happening? Why her, Lauren? What did she do to deserve this?"
"I don't have any answers. I'm sorry, I wish I did."
He braced his hands on the counter, hung his head and breathed deeply.
"I'm going to jail, Lauren."
Her chin trembled with the truth. "You were desperate, Nick. The judge may take that into consideration."
He scoffed. "Not with the way my luck's been running, he won't."
"I'll do everything I can to--"
A hard rap at the door stopped Lauren mid-sentence. Nick's face blanched when he looked out the kitchen window. When she saw the white ranger truck and the RCMP car at the curb, she slipped her hand into Nick's.
His eyes showed his surprise. "You're staying?"
"You're my friend, Nick. I'm not going anywhere."
***
You could've knocked Matt over with a feather when Lauren, and not Nick, answered the door.
"We're here to see Nick," he said, too stunned by her appearance to say anything else. "Is he home?"
Lauren looked past Matt to the two other rangers and two RCMP constables standing behind him. She nodded solemnly.
Matt followed Lauren into the kitchen and he received another shock when she stood beside Nick. Matt's gut twisted and his jaw clenched. With his gaze firmly on his subordinate's, he withdrew the folded paper and handed it to Nick.
"We have a warrant to search for a .264 Winchester Magnum rifle that is suspected of being the gun responsible for the poaching of five bears within Jasper National Park."
Nick took the paper, but didn't bother opening it. Matt shifted his attention to Lauren.
"It's probably best you leave," he said.
Her gaze never wavered. "I'm staying."
His jaw went hard as granite. "So
now
you're staying?"
"I did what I needed to four years ago. This time I'm doing what's right."
"Fine," Matt snarled. "Cal, you stay here with Mr. Greensborough and Miss McKinnon. You two," he gestured to the RCMP, "come with me and Denis. If it's anywhere, it's likely in the basement."
Matt found the basement door and stomped down, taking the steps two at a time. What the fuck was Lauren doing here? She knew they'd figured the culprit was Nick. Why hadn't she left the bastard to the bed he'd made and high-tailed it out of there by now?
Matt stepped into a rather large, well-lit room. A large banquet table filled the middle. It was covered with newspapers. On top of those were four shriveling, drying masses of tissue. It didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out what they were.
His gut churning, he stood there for a moment as the RCMP constables searched the wall of cupboards.
"Got it," one of Mounties said. He turned, a .264 Winchester Magnum in his gloved hands.
***
Lauren sat on the side of her tub, reached her hand into the cold water and pulled the plug. The drain gurgled as the water disappeared. She didn't move until it was all gone and the tub was as empty as her heart. Nick had been arrested for poaching and trafficking. She'd remained at his side as long as she could.
She'd followed the cars to the police station, sticking to her promise. Whether or not Nick could see her or tell she was there, Lauren had needed to stay. Matt hadn't said two words to her. He'd stayed for hours and then had stalked through the waiting room and outside without so much as a glance her way. He knew she was there, though, because his lips had pinched and his eyes were steel when he threw open the door of the RCMP station.
Still, it was no surprise when she heard the rap on her door.
Very much like he had a few weeks ago, he strode angrily into her kitchen, a tornado of fury and contempt. He spun around, his face flushed.
"How can you defend him, Lauren? He broke the law. He spit on everything we believe in. This isn't just a damn job to me and it sure as hell wasn't for you either. It's a way of life."
"What Nick did was wrong. I don't condone it, but neither will I turn my back on him."
Matt scoffed. "No, God forbid you leave Nick the way you left me."
Lauren set her teeth. "The last thing I said to Gil was "go to Hell," that I never wanted to see him again. Well guess what? I never did. That will haunt me to the day I die. I didn't mean it, but I said it and now I can't take those words back. But I can do things differently this time. Was Nick wrong? Yes. Should he be punished? Absolutely. But I will not abandon a friend because he made some decisions I don't agree with. I know it doesn't make sense, Matt, but by standing by Nick, I feel like I'm somehow making up for what I said to Gil. For walking away from you."