Love Blind (7 page)

“This is not a good face, Kyle.” Pavel shook his head at me. “This doesn't seem like a positive-thinking face.”

I shrugged. “Hard to put on a positive-thinking face when you've just had the crap beat out of you.”

Pavel stood up. “So we will go inside and listen to your sad music and maybe one of my sisters will give you first aid.”

I snorted. “Please, no.”

Pavel laughed a little. His smiles were rare, only coming out when he found something funny. “If you marry one of my sisters, we will be brothers for real.”

I wanted to say something good. Something about how Pavel would always be a brother to me no matter what. But the words wouldn't come out of my throat. Pavel didn't need a brother like me. He needed someone who could fight or at the very least speak. There was a fear in there somewhere that should probably go on my list, but there was no way I'd dig deep enough to find it.

T
wo weeks of good behavior, on top of celebrating my “sweet sixteen” with the moms, got me band practice time and my cell phone. Having my phone meant phone calls with Chaz. And apparently phone calls with Chaz and texts with Chaz led to gigs. At bars. Like the one we had tonight. He'd listened to us practice over the phone and called a friend.

Tess slammed to a stop in front of a seedy, brick-front bar. No matter whose car we had, Tess always drove because Mira was always checking her phone. And I'd known since I was six that I'd never drive. The three of us stared at the façade for about ten seconds before grinning like fools. How many famous bands had started in shitty places like this?

The whole thing had fallen together perfectly. The moms thought me, Mira, and Tess were going to catch two movies at
the theater. Actually, all our parents thought that. Sort of a perfect cover. No one's allowed to answer phones during movies, and we'd snagged some cash from the parents for snacks.

The second Tess pulled into a parking space, Chaz appeared outside of the van door, smiling wide. At me.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said as he slid open the door.

My body flushed with warmth. Excitement. “Hey.”

Would whatever had attracted him to me before still work?

His hand slipped around my waist, his thumb tracing the skin at the top of my jeans. He pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth. “First time I've laid eyes on you in
weeks
. I'm not used to girls playing so hard to get.”

I wasn't playing. The moms would have chained me up if I'd snuck out to see him. “I'm a busy girl.”

“Still. I almost thought we were gonna be a no go.”

I shook my head. He
had
been persistent on the phone, almost pushy and a little possessive. But here, now, the way he looked at me, my stomach swooped at being so wanted.

Tess and Mira opened the back of the van and let out a collective groan. “I love to play,” Mira said, “but I wish it didn't involve so much shit.”

“I got it,” Chaz said.

And he did, along with a couple bouncer friends. We were ushered in backstage, shown the filthy excuse for a greenroom, and were set up to play in minutes.

The bar had us opening for another local band, people I'd
actually heard of. It felt like a giant step up from the small venues we'd played.

My girls and I stood backstage, shoulder to shoulder, like we always did. We weren't the praying kind of girls or the kind of girls to laugh and lock hands, but there was something about standing together before we went onstage that always helped us focus.

The bartender announced Blinders On, and when Mira and Tess jogged onstage, Chaz grabbed me from behind.

“It's going to be so hot watching you out there.”

I tossed him a smile before stepping carefully onto the stage—at least the lighting was okay.

The crowd was decent, into the music, and the place was pretty packed. We'd been advertised as a girl band. It felt totally antifeminist or something using our ownership of boobs to get us an audience, but it worked. And my being grounded for two weeks with nothing to do but play my guitar had also paid off.

The lights fueled me. The crowd fueled me. The feeling of a song coming together the way I imagined when we wrote it fueled me. Knowing Chaz was watching backstage fueled me. God, all of it was heady and too amazing for words. Our set was over way too fast.

When we finished, the lights dropped. And my world turned black. “Shit.”

Tess stepped to the front of the stage and took my hand.
Sucked, but on a dark stage, with cords, I needed the help. At least I didn't have to ask her.

“You were amazing.” Chaz pulled me into him as soon as I was backstage, pinning me against the wall.

“Thanks,” I said, my knees already jelly from how his fingers slid under my shirt to touch my sides, and then I melted further when he pushed his body against mine and kissed me.

Feeling his desperation was almost as big a rush as being onstage.

When we broke apart for breath, Tess had left to pack up. She'd always been totally anal about our equipment.

“You know, they're holding you back, baby.” Chaz's stubble scratched my face, and then down my neck, but once his lips touched my collarbone, I couldn't breathe and my body started to take over, screaming at me for
more
.

“They're not holding me back. They're my girls.” But I couldn't say much else because Chaz's lips and hands kept moving.

“Still, Hailey.” His forehead touched mine, which was sweet even if I was sweaty, but he also had his hard-on pressed into my thigh, mostly to make the point that he was turned on and wouldn't mind finding somewhere to be. Did all twentysomething guys move this fast? It was definitely on my fear list, and another thing to cross off, just . . . not yet. This was only the second time I'd actually seen him, and phone flirtation didn't exactly translate to
feel free to punch
my V-card
. “You're like a goddess up there, and those two are hiding in black.”

“Maybe.” I ran my hands down his chest, felt the hardness, and then the ridges of his abs, giving my amped-up body another inch to override any amount of fear of being closer to him that I had.

“I'm serious, baby. I could try to find someone else to hook you up with. People who might actually go somewhere. There's some good musicians around here who'd love to have a hot girl like you with a fuck-sexy voice in front.”

“Maybe,” I said again. The thought was exciting, but I wasn't about to ditch my two friends. Friends.
Damn
. I should have told Kyle to come. If I could get him to talk after, I bet he'd tell me the truth about our playing and not some line.

“Why don't you come back to my place tonight?” He took my hand and slid it to his crotch, as if I didn't already know he was hard. I felt the shape of him, the largeness of him, even through his jeans. I'd never touched a guy before, and looking up pictures of guys with Tess and Mira, and trying to figure out how
that
would fit in
us
, was one thing. Having my hand on that same something he wanted to shove inside me was another.

I blinked away my worry and pressed my hand against him harder. This rush was what the fear list was about. He grasped my wrist. “Careful, gorgeous. You're making a lot of promises here, and I'd rather get you back to my place to deliver.”

“I'm sixteen,” I blurted out. Chaz knew I wasn't twenty-one.
He'd known that the night we met, but sixteen was probably a lot younger than he was thinking. My heart still pounded, and I held my breath as I waited for his response.

“You're not going to tell anyone if I screw you, right?” He chuckled and pressed his dick against me again.

Umm . . . okay, then.

Chaz didn't care, which felt huge, though I wasn't completely sure which side of
really big deal
it fell on. “No. I wouldn't tell anyone.” The blush crept up my face, and his hands slid under my bra. Any second someone could come back here. Panic and excitement swirled around my stomach, fighting for control.

“Fuck, Hailey. You're making me crazy.” He kissed me hard and then ran another trail down my neck, and all I could think was,
Please don't give me a hickey
—no way I could explain that one away.

“Yeah.” But I couldn't take a deep breath. Being around Chaz was addictive. His low voice, his firm hands. No bullshit about what he wanted to do with me. To me. I wasn't sure if it was him or the idea of blowing through so many of my fears at once, but God.
God.

He hitched my legs around his waist, my back still against the wall, him still grinding into me, giving me rush after rush of heat so intense the room spun.

The other band had started to play. I hadn't even noticed them going onstage.

“Hailey!” Tess called out. “We gotta run. Mira's got curfew.”

So did I, but I wasn't going to put any more age-restraint distance between me and Chaz. Way easier to blame it on her.

Chaz let my legs go, and the rush of heat began to slip away.

“Want a hand out to the car?” she yelled because the other band was crazy loud, and my eardrums already ached from the sound.

“Sure.” I stepped around Chaz to take Tess's hand, and she moved close enough that our shoulders touched and she'd actually be able to help.

Chaz grabbed my arm and pulled me back toward him, making me stumble. “You're going to leave me here?”

“Yeah. I gotta go.” I pulled my arm away. Now that I'd caught my breath and put some space between us, I started to feel a little gross about what we'd been doing, backstage, with the chance of at least a half a dozen people passing us. I wasn't ready for more with him, especially not here, and it was a lot easier to blame Mira than my inexperience. “I gotta get Mira home or we lose our other guitar player.”

Even in the dim light backstage, I could see Chaz's face contort.

“Come on, Hailey.” Tess gave my arm a tug.

“Shit, Hailey.” He leaned against the wall, annoyance on every feature I could make out. “I wanted
time
with you. Alone time.”

“Sorry. I gotta go.” Worry settled into that awful place in my gut as Tess led me to the car. “But soon!” I added.

“If you can't spend time with me, then what the fuck are we doing? I got you this gig!” he yelled as he followed us to the back door.

I climbed into the car, all the tingling excitement now evaporated.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as Tess threw him a look before sliding the van door closed between us.

I couldn't face him as we pulled away. Instead, I sank low into the backseat. He'd been fine, and then frustrated . . . and I got it. He'd thought he was gonna get to spend time with me, and all that had happened was I'd told him I was sixteen and run away.

Chaz called two minutes after we pulled out of the lot.

“Hello?” I answered slowly.

“Sorry,” he said. “I was caught off guard. And now I'm wondering if I'm going to feel responsible for you or something because you're younger, but God, I wanna see you. I wanna be with you. Shit . . .”

He was thinking out loud, and I let him.

“I put my neck on the line to get you that gig. Off hearing your band
over the phone
. I mean, do you even get that?”

“I know. I do.”

“Shit.” He sighed.

I waited.

“Shit, Hailey. I like you, okay? That's why I'm so frustrated. I wanna see you. All of you. It's not gonna be weeks again, is it?”

“No.” Because I didn't know what else to say. A crap ending to what should have been a kick-ass night.

“Okay, look.” Another sigh. “I'll call you, okay? But my week's pretty busy.”

“Whenever is fine,” I said as my throat swelled up.

“Later.” And the phone went dead.

So that kind of sucked, but after considering it for a few seconds, I didn't think my bouncer was a total lost cause—just horny and maybe a little frustrated and slightly drunk. He definitely was into me, so I figured I'd turn him back to my side. Besides, the more I sat in the back of Mira's mom's van, the more determined I was to keep him around. I could definitely add a few items to my fear list for him to help me tackle.

F
riend Kyle.” Hailey's unmistakable voice. “Start answering your emails.”

I dropped the headphones I was holding and spun around.

“What . . . what are you doing here?” The booth off the main recording room was no bigger than a closet. A closet with only me and Hailey in it. Hailey in shorts with long-ass legs and one of those worn-to-the-point-of-see-through T-shirts. Sensory overload.

Her broken eyes took in the single mic and mini soundboard. “Are you recording yourself?”

“No. I'm editing prerecorded station IDs.”

She leaned against the wall and I caught a whiff of her girl sweat. Sweet and a little rank. And there was definitely something wrong with me that it turned me on. I needed to
hang out with more girls regularly or I was going to embarrass myself.

“You know, I'm sixteen now, so it's almost like I haven't seen you since last year.”

“Uh, happy birthday?”

I ducked my head. Too much. Too too much. All in one little space.

“Hey, you looked at me for almost twenty seconds. We've made headway.”

Maybe.
“Why are you here?”

“I emailed you and you didn't respond.”

“You emailed me?” I asked.

“After searching for your email for, like, an hour, yeah.” She leaned in and squinted at me. “What happened to your face?”

Not answering that.
“Did you need something?”