Love Bear Nun (8 page)

Chapter Ten

              The next morning Henson woke up to the smell of bacon cooking. He looked over and Jacinda wasn’t in bed; she had gotten up and made breakfast. He smiled, trying to get used to being treated nice. He wasn’t used to much of anything besides being yelled orders at. He got up and walked down to the kitchen, finding Jacinda cooking in her robe.

              “Good morning.” Jacinda said with a smile.

              “Good morning.” Henson replied, seeing the eggs and pancakes she had cooked. “Wow… you really didn’t have to cook breakfast.”

              “I cook breakfast every day for myself so it’s no big deal to make a little extra for you too.” Jacinda said with a smile. “Besides, you used a lot of energy last night. You’ll need to replace that.”

              “Ah.” Henson said with a smile, glancing down at her butt as she spun around before he fixed himself a place. “Are you going to sit down and eat too?”

              “Just after this egg… it’s my specialty. Well, it’s a special way my mom showed me to make an egg so I do it every time.” Jacinda said. Henson noticed a hint of sadness appear in her eyes but fade away quickly. “So I was going to talk to you about your release forms.”

              “Yeah? Still think I’m unfit?” Henson said, feeling a little irritation start but not skyrocket or get anywhere near as bad as before. “I’m just kidding. I know I just gotta get used to being in public before I can get a job. It makes sense to me now.”

              “Well, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Jacinda said as she spun around with her plate of food and sat at the table. “You are fit.”

              “Then why did you tell me that I wasn’t the other day?” Henson asked, feeling his face return to that old scowl.

              “I wanted to see how you would react to stressful news, to see if you would be Phillips to control that anger of yours.” Jacinda replied. Henson stared at her in awe, confused as to what was going on. “I had you marked as fit that day before I even headed out looking for you; that was based just off of our sessions and then when I found you in the cabin I knew that you got yourself away from people when you felt that you were dangerous. You were very conscious that you were dangerous when I found you so that tells me that you knew and consciously got out of public. You’re ready for your release forms.”

              “Thank you Jacinda.” Henson said, feeling an urge to hug her. Why he could have sex with her but worry about hugging her held him back. “Why though, why did you help me?”

              “I fell in love with you.” She replied, looking at him with a soft expression on her face. Her eyes looked so fragile like she had just opened up her soul to him. “I love you Henson.”

              “I…” Henson said, completely stunned and truly speechless but his inner voice screamed at him to respond; he smiled and started breathing again. “I love you too Jacinda.”

              Through the coming months, Henson slowly began living with Jacinda; spending more and more time at her place. She tempered the rage inside him and he kept trying to make her see her beauty, both within and on the outside.

              They were incredibly truthful and honest with each other even if it would make the other angry. Both of them believed in a very powerful idea that honesty and communication in a relationship was the strongest part, the foundation. Henson’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder faded away within a year; the happiness of being with the woman he loved greatly outweighed the pain of his past and with her.

              He had a future, and her name was Jacinda. Or Mrs. Phillips, if she said yes when she came home from work and read the banner that steadied itself above him as he was down on one knee ready for her to arrive.

THE END

About the Author

Ava Hunt was born in the mountains of Southwest Virginia, where stories of the mysterious and unknown echo among the hollows and quiet ridges. She lived out her later teen years in Georgia, where the summers are long and slow and the nights are sultry and hot.

Now living in the Southeast, she pens stories of paranormal romance, infused with plenty of real life mysteries and steamy, scintillating sex. She’s particularly fond of gruff, growly bear shifters and the women who tame their hearts. While most of her tales have happy, joyous, romantic endings, sometimes there’s an element of mystery left, some unsolved riddle – much like life.

When she’s not writing, Ava spends her time walking through the forest, or lying under the skies at night, staring into the starry expanse, thinking about her next bear shifter hero…

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Chapter One of "Shadow Bear: Book One of Reserve Park Bears" by Ava Hunt

Jeneva Markham drove away from the curved headquarters of the thirteen Council members. After a long day of nursing at the retirement center, she'd been called early to attend the Council meeting. The verdict was in, and it wasn't good.

"Unfit to mate," Jeneva scowled. "What makes them think they have the power to control my life?" But she knew exactly who they were to make such a huge, life-altering decision against her, an Alpha. The Bear Council was the  irrevocable law of their Den. Bear shifters like Jeneva needed the Council to keep things in order for all of them. The Council knew what was best, even when it permanently destroyed your life.

Jeneva took off her glasses to wipe away the hot tears forming at the corners of her eyes. All those years that she'd dreamed about having cubs of her own, showing them how to hunt and kill, teaching them how to fix cars and motorcycles like her, teaching them the ancient lore of her Bear Den, all of that was gone in an instant. 

But it made things really simple. Rayner Garcia had ignored her for years. She wanted to confess to him, make him face her. She knew that he was hurt, and that he had a past. He wasn't the easiest bear to get along with, but he was the one she loved. She had planned to tell him how much she loved him after the game at her house tomorrow night. That decision was made for her: there was no point. If she couldn't have cubs with him, she couldn't become his mate.

Jeneva pulled into the parking lot of The Big Dipper bar where Den members could drink in peace. The secluded old bar was nestled in the pine trees of Reserve Park, far off the main roads. Its parking lot was full of cars and trucks, including Rayner's rusted pickup truck, parked right in front of the entrance. Jeneva groaned half in frustration, half in relief. Rayner was the last person that she wanted to see right now. He would see right through her, and in her state of vulnerability he might even realize that the reason she was truly upset was because he would never be the father to their cubs. She didn't need him complicating her already crushed feelings. But, his quiet strength and protective presence was the balm that her heart needed most. She was drawn to him, even when it was bad. She needed him to settle the pain of her empty womb.

Jeneva parked her own truck, and left the doors unlocked. No one was going to steal from anyone else around here. She pulled the door open just as Rayner walked through with his own hand on the handle. He looked up from his cell phone, his eyebrows raising when he saw he had almost walked into her. Rayner's dark eyes sizzled into her and Jeneva felt her face go hot. He had black hair cut short and a strong jawline that reflected his half-Hispanic heritage. His tan, tattooed arms were sharp and defined, half-hidden by his rolled up flannel sleeves. His well-worn blue jeans hung well over the build of his legs.

Rayner looked her up and down. "I was just coming to look for you." He pocketed his phone, mid-dial. Jeneva guessed he had been dialing her number. "The word just came in, the Council turned you down." His eyes searched Jeneva's, looking for her pain. "How are you feeling? How can I help?"

The words tore at Jeneva's heart like a knife. She wanted him to help. She wanted him to make it all go away. "There's nothing you can do about it," she shrugged half-heartedly. "It's my genes. I won't deliver good cubs, or if I do then they would have to be destroyed."

Rayner flinched. She knew the loss of young cubs was a sore point for him, so he would also know that she wouldn't be able to risk it. "Well, at least you can still choose a mate. You just have to be careful not to have children." Maybe it was just Jeneva's imagination, but Rayner looked hopeful. She figured that she was imagining things.

"You think it's that easy?" She snapped. "You know the call to have cubs takes over when you choose a mate."

"It does," Rayner agreed. He knew all too well the way the urge to have cubs consumed you when you finally mated. Maybe it wasn't an urge that humans shared. He had asked himself over and over why Lorna had done what she had done. The past was over, but the pain remained. Seeing Jeneva always cleared up his guilt and regret over Lorna. He treasured the shape of her brown eyes behind her glasses, her straight brown hair that fell over her confident shoulders. He gazed over her body, her plump bosom, trim waist and firm legs. She was wearing a fitted t-shirt and blue jeans that still had oil stains on them no matter how hard she tried to get them out. He wished he could take her as his mate, damn the Council's ruling. But, with or without the Council there were too many obstacles.

For one thing, Jeneva was his Alpha's – and best friend's – baby sister. She was loved by the entire Den, but Jaime Markham had a special place in his heart for his baby sister. Stepping on that by taking her for himself was an urge that tormented Rayner. Even now, breathing in her earthy scent, he had trouble keeping himself from grabbing her firm body and claiming her right there.

Then, Jeneva was so much younger than him. Sure, she had those plump pink lips and cheeks, but he was already thirty-three to her twenty-one years. He should be thinking of her like a sister too, not a mate. He should be wanting to protect her from men like him, not take her to his bed and ravish her from head to toe. But, he couldn't get those thoughts out of his mind. No matter what, he wanted her.

And three... Lorna. Rayner wasn't sure if he would ever get over what she did to him, how she betrayed him.

"Let me buy you a beer, then," Rayner offered, coming back to himself. "At least I can do that."

"Yes you can," Jeneva smiled. "Thanks."

Inside the bar, it seemed like almost everyone was there. Misty and Alex Ordman sat at a high table, giggling over something Misty had said. Jeneva's best friend, George Harvey, was having a friendly argument over football teams with Marcus Paine, the bartender at The Big Dipper. Looking around at all of the familiar faces crowding the dark, musty space, Jeneva didn't see her brother there, and let out a sigh of relief. That wasn't something that she wanted to deal with right now. She headed for Misty and Alex, who stopped their conversation when they saw her.

"Hey Jen, pull a stool up," Misty called. Jeneva grabbed a stool from another table. When she sat down, Misty put her hands over hers with a concerned look. "How are you doing, girl?"

Jeneva wanted to go bury herself in a cave and hibernate for the next year. Nearly everyone knew. Knowing Misty and Alex had three healthy cubs of their own at home made it worse. "I've been better," she admitted. She couldn't admit that all her dreams for the future had been dashed only an hour ago.

Misty shared a knowing look with her mate Alex. They were only a few years apart in age, and they had fallen in love right out of high school. Alex was a little younger than Jeneva's brother Jaime. He usually loved to tell embarrassing stories of Jaime in high school, but now his face was serious. "Jeneva, tell the truth," he said. "Mating is a huge part of a Bear's life. What will you do now that you can't?"

Rayner came back over to Jeneva holding an open can of beer for her, and his trademark paperback read, since he never drank himself. He set the beer in front of Jeneva, who accepted it gratefully and took big gulps. "What are we talking about here?"

"What's Jeneva going to do now that she can't mate?" Misty said. "I don't know what I would do. Probably die. Sorry, Jen."

Jeneva wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. "Ugh, I'm not going to die. It's really not that big of a deal. Drop it, please. Let's talk about something more interesting. Like Misty, how are the cubs doing with learning to hunt and forage in the park?"

"They're doing okay with nuts and berries," Misty said. "But they're a little intimidated when they see a squirrel or, god forbid, a whole deer. This mama Bear keeps trying to show them that deer are easy to kill, we're so much heavier than them when we shift, you know. It scares them. They don't know their own strength yet."

"They'll learn," Rayner said, setting his paperback on the high table. "I learned, we all did."

"I know," Misty fretted.

"It's not something you can force, Misty," Jeneva said. "They'll get it when the time is right."

"I hope you're right," Misty said.

Jeneva felt two familiar hands on her shoulders. She held on to them.

"Hey George."

"Hey Jeneva," George Harvey hugged her from behind. Rayner picked up his book and moved to another part of the bar, looking aggravated. Jeneva wondered what had ticked him off. "I really don't think it's that big of a deal, you not being able to mate," George said. "Hey, let's go to the shooting range tomorrow at the bluff? That always takes your mind off of things."

"You go, George," Jeneva smiled at her friend. She left the stool and followed Rayner to the bar.

Rayner felt angry, and he didn't know why. George and Jeneva had been best friends since they were cubs. He had watched them grow up, helped teach them from time to time. George was no threat to him. But Rayner felt that familiar urge to fight him.

"What's got you so worked up?" Jeneva was at his side.

Rayner scowled. "Not now, Jeneva."

Jeneva leaned on the bar. "If not now, then when? Rayner, you're always like this. This is why your fights are so bad. You have to talk about what's going on with you before you explode."

Rayner sighed and rubbed his head. "You sound just like your brother," he smiled. "You think you know what's best for me but you don't really know, Jeneva."

"I know that you've lost a lot. When Lorna left you -"

"Enough, Jen!" Rayner stood up to go.

"No, wait, I'm sorry." Jeneva reached out to him but fell short. "I'm happy you've got my back. I just want you to be happy, that's all."

Rayner calmed down. "I appreciate that, Jen."

Marcus finished talking with a customer and came over to join the two. He cleaned a glass surreptitiously, trying to find an opening to talk to Jeneva about the Council's decision.

"Everyone's talked to me about it already, Marcus," Jeneva guessed what was on his mind.

"What are you going to do?" Marcus was tall and bald, with tattoos on his back and shoulders. He wore tank tops and matching pants.

"I should just go be a nun I guess. I don't know," Jeneva said.

"Didn't Jillian go to be a nun back a few years ago?"

"I'm joking, Marcus. I don't really think--"

"Yeah, she did," Rayner answered. "She got the same bad news. I think she went to Brazil."

"So you guys think I should go to Brazil," Jeneva was incredulous.

"Of course not Jen, but you've got to find some sort of meaning with your life or you'll go crazy."

"Yeah," Rayner agreed, looking down at his book. "It's tough without a mate, Jen. You need a plan."

"And that plan is to go be a nun. Well, maybe I will then. You know, I'm going to go call Jill up and see how she's doing down there. Bye," Jeneva left the bar angrily.

"Jeneva," Rayner started to go after her, and was stopped by Marcus.

"Let her go, Rayner. This is hard. She needs time to think."

Jeneva fumed in the truck on her drive home. Who did Marcus and Rayner think she was? Didn't they value her at all? Her tears made her glasses steam up and she pulled over to take them off. It was starting to rain outside in a light grey mist. Tall pine trees lined either side of the two lane park road for miles in both directions. This was home. She grew up among these trees, hunted in them, climbed them, rubbed on them. What would she be without Reserve Park?

Maybe the same person she was now that she couldn’t mate, Jeneva thought to herself. She hated to admit it, but Misty was right. A huge part of her had changed now. She couldn't take a mate. She couldn't raise kids or start a home of her own now. Living a life as a single Bear could drive you crazy. Henry Paine, Marcus' uncle, was also told that he couldn't mate, years ago, before Jeneva was even born. He tried living alone but, everyone guessed because of the stress, he had gone on a rampage in the human town. He had killed two humans, a pregnant couple. He escaped, but when he got back to Reserve Park everyone knew what he had done. He ran away before they could execute him for his crimes.