Love and Other Wicked Games (A Wicked Game Novel) (38 page)

As he looked around the room to the smiling faces and let the sounds of laughter touch and fill him, he finally understood where Ellie got it all from. That kindness and caring, that compassion for others, that (sometimes) quiet boldness. Unlike him, she’d never known anything else in her life but this. To do what was right and good in all cases. To be herself no matter what others said or did. To take a stand and never give up on anyone or anything. Even now, even after all he’d put her through she was taking a chance. She was warming to him again and, as scary as it was, he was warming to her too.

But which part of him was warming: his head or his heart? And which would he allow her to touch once more?

For the first time in a long time, he had no difficulty distinguishing between right and easy. He stepped into the room and cleared his throat. When everyone was looking at him and smiling he said, “I accept your bet, Mary.”

In the end, Cal lost, but losing had never felt more like winning. And later that evening after many more games and much more laughter, Ellie came to his side.

“So you’ve figured out what’s right, then? And you’ll continue your work?”

“Oh yes. That I will.” He patted her hand and squeezed it gently. A small shiver went through her and her cheeks touched with red. “And it’s all because of you.”

She smiled now and squeezed his hand back, letting their fingers rest together for a little while longer.

After a moment she tilted her head and exhaled. “There’s something that I want to tel—That’s to say that I lov—” Her lips twitched with a shy smile and she looked down, swallowing. “Tomorrow. We’ve covered enough ground for now,” she said before she was swept away into the conversations around them once more.

He couldn’t help but watch her from a distance. She was vibrant again and alive. And she had been about to tell him that she loved him.

He took a slow sip of his drink as he listened to the fire pop and crackle, and saw its bright colors dance against the starry night sky outside. It was mesmerizing but even the light of this fire was no comparison to her. Next to Ellie, it was nothing more than a dim flicker, while she was a blazing flame that brought life and light to everything. There was no question about it. She had certainly brought life to him.

And he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone in the world. He knew that now. With her he was something more than he was on his own.

But what of her? Did he make her more or less? There was no question that she gave him plenty but he didn’t know what he had to offer in return. Or if he was even capable of offering anything. His greatest fear was that she completed him, filling all his little holes and cracks, and leaving herself incomplete in the process. He’d hoped that one day he’d make her feel as content and complete as she’d helped him to feel. But how would he measure something like that? How would he ever really know that he’d been successful?

There were many things he did know now after spending time with Ellie’s family that he hadn’t known before—his ability to run his company any way he saw fit and to help the workers in any way possible, for instance. But there were other things he felt he would never know and never be able to trust—most importantly his ability to always protect Ellie from others and from himself. Or his ability to have as much to offer her as she offered him.

So, in this moment as he watched the golden light kiss her hair and her smiling face, he knew that he could never have her because he could never be certain of what the future would hold for them. It wasn’t a matter of being good enough anymore. It was a matter of what was best for her, of what was right and what was wrong. It was a matter of the benefits and risks of it all. And he wouldn’t risk Ellie no matter how much his heart burst to make her his forever, and how much it would hurt her for him to say goodbye. But he’d rather break her heart again this once, than break it a million times over for the rest of her life.

He was gone by the next morning.

It was the most unselfish thing he’d ever done in his entire life.

And the most loving.

Ellie slept peacefully.

Sleep had been a stranger to her for near on a month but tonight it made itself intimately acquainted with her. Tonight sleep enveloped her, welcoming her in as a friend. And when she awoke the next morning, even though it was later than she’d wanted, she finally felt rested and at peace, in both body and mind. She welcomed the feeling with a deep, inviting breath and felt once again that she could face anything.

But that feeling was quickly dashed when she saw her mother and Mary step into the doorway with frowns on their faces.

Ellie felt her body tense up even though a part of her had expected this. He’d made so much progress in only two days. He’d admitted he was capable and strong. But loving someone? That was a whole other type of vulnerable.

“He’s gone?” she asked.

Her mother just nodded her head.

“You know what you have to do then, don’t you?” Mary asked.

“Go after him?”

“Yes! Of course. A good old fashioned chase. A beat the clock.” Mary’s eyes hazed with memories. “Oh, this reminds me of my wedding day when Greg raced to me.”

Ellie smiled, remembering the telling of that story all too well. “I have no intention of showing up covered in mud.”

“Oh, you say that now, but when it comes down to it, I dare say you’ll do whatever it takes to get the one you love.”

Ellie laughed as she climbed out of bed. “Can I have a moment to dress then? I’d at least like to show up properly clothed.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Ellie’s mother elbowed Mary in the ribs.

“What? You know it’s true?”

“Oh, lord.” Ellie’s mother wiped her forehead. “Out Mary. Out. Let the girl dress.”

“The woman!” Mary called as she was pushed out of the door.

“Alright, ‘the woman.’” Ellie heard her mother yield as she closed the door behind her.

Ellie smiled to herself as she dressed quickly and continued to smile minutes later as she readmitted her mother and Mary to help with her with final dressing preparations and to encourage her on her journey.

“Oh, you’ll be just fine. Just show him a bit of—”

“Love,” Ellie’s mother interrupted Mary with slit eyes. “Just show him a bit of love.”

“Alright. Love works too,” Mary conceded. “Now give me a hug.”

Ellie complied and her mother joined in as well.

“Now go. And don’t give up,” she said to her daughter as she pulled away.

“I won’t. I promise.”

“You don’t need to promise me. You need to promise yourself.”

As she left the room, Ellie rested her hand against the wooden door, searching for strength. “I promise,” she whispered to herself.

And from somewhere off in the shadows Ellie heard another whisper. “
I knew it!
”

Amelia.

The whispering continued. “
This is just like that last book I read
—”

“This is not a book!” Ellie yelled as she turned in Amelia’s direction. For just a second she wanted to chastise Amelia for how lightly she seemed to treat the world, but instead Ellie ran to her and hugged her for always having the courage to believe the improbable. “Don’t you ever,
ever
stop believing.”

“As if that could
ever
happen.” Amelia patted Ellie’s shoulders.

“I mean it.”

“Well, so do I.”

“And there’s something else.” Ellie said, an amused smile forming on her face. “I told you once that I’d tell you first if it happened, and you were right Amelia.”

“Right about what?”

“I’m a living breathing, romance novel heroine.”

“You are?”

“Of course. I can be anything I want to be. And so can you.”

Amelia’s eyes were wide with excitement. “You have to tell me all about it!
Everything!
”

“I will. I promise. But it’s not over yet. I have to go get my duke first.” Ellie waved her hand. “You know how these things go.”

“But—”

“Don’t worry. He’s a prince to me.”

“Of course he is! But that’s not it. What I meant was… shouldn’t the prince come get you? I mean that
is
how it happens is all of the books…”

“Oh, not in my book. In my book I write my own story. We all must. And I won’t settle for anything but my happy ending.”

***

In retrospect it had been a rather foolish decision, but the holiday had restored him in such a way that he knew he must take action immediately.

Even though his heart was heavy with the absence of Ellie, he was determined to press forward for the good of all involved. As such he hadn’t even made it ten minutes into the journey home before he was so overwhelmed with exciting new ideas that his hands shook. He’d changed courses immediately and headed straight towards the mill on Long Millgate without even stopping to change his clothes or eat.

He’d braced himself as he approached the mill on foot. It was quite a gamble for him to stop hiding who he was and he fully expected the people who’d been following him, the eyes and ears of his shareholders, to completely lose their minds. They’d confront him, intimidate him, and perhaps even threaten him as his Uncle had always warned, but Cal no longer cared. As long as he had his Uncle’s word and his vote then these people could say whatever they wanted. And even though he didn’t want to do it, if they tried to lay even a finger on him he’d claim his peerage privilege and threaten them with ruin.

The workers were a bit of a different matter. He knew that they wouldn’t be happy with him, not only because of who he was, but also because he had deceived them about it. What he didn’t know is how they would react. It was more than likely that they would beat him down with words and looks rather than fists, but after what he’d put them though he wouldn’t blame a one of them if they took a more drastic measure.

And he didn’t have to wait long for that to happen.

Cal was nearing the mill’s entrance when he heard the sound of running behind him and a voice calling after him.

“Hey! Hey you! Yeah, you up there! McAlister! Or do you prefer Lord McAlister? I can’t keep up with all those fancy titles of you lot…”

Hell.
Cal stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head to look over his shoulder just in time to avoid the punch being thrown his way. Cal jumped back and held up his hands

“Yeah, I know who you are. Why do you look so surprised? Figure someone so poor as me isn’t smart enough to figure it all out? Bet you don’t even remember who I am, but I remember you. Oh yes I do. And that pretty girl of yours too. Why I’d a taken a swing at you last time I saw you if it hadn’t been for her…”

That last part rang a bell. “Sean,” Cal said.

How could he ever forget the little shit who’d given Ellie a hard time at her first meeting? Even still though, Cal had pegged him as more of an annoying sort, a talker rather than a doer. Apparently he’d been wrong. And as Cal looked around he realized that Sean’s screaming was drawing attention. He heard a few people mumbling his name and saw recognition strike on their faces. On his own, Sean didn’t pose much of a threat, but with others Cal could quickly find himself in trouble.

“Oh, you
do
remember. How impressive. Should I be flattered? Because I’m not. People like you don’t impress me. Scumbags who live off of other people’s sweat and blood. And I knew something wasn’t right about you from the very first time I saw you. I did.” He pointed at Cal as he raised his voice and looked around. “Just showed up all mysterious trying to put your nose where it don’t belong. Yes, I knew. Knew you didn’t belong with us and I started asking round ‘til someone had the answer. ‘Duke of McAlister,’ they said and I just laughed and laughed because I knew
exactly
who you were. Exactly.”

“Did you now?” Cal shook his head and slapped his hands against his sides. Sean was rambling on ridiculously now, but it was still drawing more attention than Cal would have gathered on his own. “Seeing as I only figured that out this weekend then I can say with certainty that you have no idea.”

“What?” That threw Sean off for a second but it wasn’t long before he continued spouting off at the mouth. “And that girl of yours. Know all about her too. Daughter of that runaway Earl. Ah ha what a pair you make.”

“Leave Ellie out of this.”

“Oh, Ellie is it? How sweet… And you know what else is sweet?” Sean held his hands to his sides and spun around slowly before readying his fist for a punch. “I don’t see her ‘round here now so I’ve got no problem ruining that pretty little face of yours with my fist.”

“Pretty little face?” Cal could barely hold in the laughter as he side stepped one punch while three or four people stepped in closer towards Sean.

After easily blocking two more punches—Cal had been right. Sean definitely talked a big game but had no skill to back it up—Cal was actually beginning to feel annoyed by this flashy show of bravado. But he could tell from the looks on the other men’s faces that it wouldn’t be long before they joined in on the action… and most of them appeared to be just the sort of people Cal imagined did very well in a good old-fashioned pub fight.

Cal needed to put an end to this, but he wasn’t going to be able to do that alone. So, while continuing to fend off an increasingly frustrated Sean, Cal scanned his eyes around the area and finally found them.
Ah ha!
As he’d expected the eyes and ears were here today as well, hidden at the entrance of a small alley-way. And they were arguing. Most likely about him, Cal determined, and what to do about this mess he’d gotten himself into. They couldn’t very well let him get bashed up by a disgruntled worker. That wasn’t going to be good for anyone. But after dodging two more tired jabs all while they continued to argue at a distance, Cal finally called out to them.

“Hello! Fellows! A little help please. I’d greatly appreciate it!”

They stopped arguing immediately but they didn’t rush over to help. Instead they repeatedly looked at each other and then Cal with gazes of wide eyed shock as if they couldn’t believe he’d known they were there.