Lost Wishes (10 page)

FALLON

For the past three years, everything’s been three-dimensional. I see shapes, acknowledge their existence, and move with them, but that’s it, nothing more. Looking into Katie’s eyes, I get a glimpse of what lies in the depths of her dimensions. There’s a glimmer of contentment and a flicker of promise in those beautiful blue eyes. I find myself slipping away to revisit my dreams. In her, I see a future, one taken from me years ago—one I’ll never get back.

I can’t be sure what I’m going to do when I confront the man who stole that future from me. My life, all that I am, has been on a standstill as I count down to that day, and I have just a few more days to go. So, no. My fate will not be determined by meeting Katie Rustle. It’ll reveal itself only when I come face-to-face with Hope’s killer.

 I pour myself a cup of coffee. Back turned, I know Katie’s entered the kitchen. Her feminine scent fills the air. “Want a cup?” I hold up the pot.

“Sure, thanks,” I hear her say as a chair scrapes along the hardwood floor. I turn around, and she’s sitting at the table in a white dress. I divert my eyes to the floor, set the mug on the table, grab mine, and lean back against the counter. 

I look up. She’s glowing, cheeks flushed from the orgasm I’d given her. Doing that—yeah, not one of my better decisions—just made my body want her more. But something else inside wants her, too. She’s reviving the dormant parts in me, making them thrive and want to come back to life. Resurrecting those parts of me, though, will fuck up my plan. And I am going to need that familiar numbness if I’m going to let her walk out the door.

“Jenna’s on her way over to pick you up,” I say, taking a sip of the hot coffee. I place it back on the counter and cross my arms over my bare chest. Fuck, I never felt so naked without a shirt. She sees me, who I really am. I know she does. “She’ll take you to Glen. I already talked to him, and he’s flying out to LA in an hour. He’ll touch down right across from a car rental place. There’ll be a car there waiting for you under your name. You can take it back to Nevada. It’s about a four-hour ride, that is unless you want to take a plane? ’Cause I can arrange that, too.”

“No, the car’s fine. Thanks. You didn’t have to do all that.”

“It’s no problem.” I shrug.

“Twigs?”

“Yeah,” I blow out. “She’s gonna be pissed that she didn’t get to say goodbye. She’s at school.”

“She’s a great kid,” she says with a smile.

“She’s a pain in the ass,” I chuckle, cramming the tips of my fingers into the front pocket of my jeans, “but, yeah, I hear ya, sometimes I don’t mind her around.” Her eyes follow my other hand as I drive it through my hair. They stroll down to my bare chest and my dick thumps against my jeans. Man, she gets me every time with those looks.

“And,” her lips smooth together, as she glances back up at me, “the deed?”

“Oh, yeah,” I breathe out, relieved she didn’t bring up the shit I pulled in the bedroom. “I almost forgot about Aunt Lulu’s troublemaking deed, the shit that brought you here in the first place.” I shake my head. Even from the grave, my fucking crazy aunt’s causing trouble. “You tell Jessina that I’ll get in touch with Shelby about it.”

“You will?”

“Yes. I forgot that I even had it.”

“Your family’s been trying to find you for a few weeks about it. Don’t they know that you live here?”

“No. I bought this place for Hope.” I pause because her name falling from my lips still stings. “It was supposed to be a… surprise.” Explaining hurts, the memories revive other parts of me that I’d rather remain lifeless. “So, no one knew about it.”

“I’m sorry if by coming here I made you upset by making you remember.” She stands up and walks over to me. My hand fists in my pocket. “I’m sorry that I remind you of Hope.”

“You don’t remind me of Hope.” Like the rest of me, my jaw tightens. I brace for her proximity, arming for the battle to fight the urge I have to reach out and touch her. “She’s dead. She’s not coming back. I know that. And I’m not looking for any kind of replacement or any shit like that.”

She places her hand on my arm. “I didn’t mean—”

“It’s when I touch you, when you touch me that you make me remember what I can’t.” I grab her wrist and pull her hand from me. I want to push her away. Instead, I grip her arms and pull her closer. “Fuck! You’re brazen and very resilient.” My eyes inhale her. “And damn, you’re so fucking beautiful. But Katie, all you remind me of,” my fingers grip her harder, “is what I can’t have. That’s why I need you to leave this place, leave me, and never come back.”

“Fallon,” she breathes out my name.

“And if I come after you,” I cut her off, “‘cause there’s a damn good chance that I might, then run. Get as far away from me as you can.” I release her and take a few steps to the side.

“So, that’s it?” She turns to face me and slaps a palm on the counter. “Why, then? In the bedroom? What was that all about?”

“Hey…” I strive for a grin. “You didn’t think you were gonna walk out of here leaving me with a little piece of you without getting something in return, did ya?”

Her eyes narrow. “There’s more than just sex going on here, and you know it—”

“Yeah,” my hand reaches for her, and I pull her against me. This is it. She’s leaving. I need to get my fix. After today, I won’t be able to torture myself with the feel of her beneath my fingers, or see that look of endless possibilities in her eyes. “But you deserve a man who’s put together. Who can give you what you
want
and
need
.” I brush my knuckles across her cheek. “Babe, that guy ain’t me.” 

“Sounds like you don’t even want to try.” Her voice cracks with each word.

“I don’t know you, and I certainly don’t know what you’re looking for, but I can tell you that it’s not here.”

“You’re right, it’s not here.” She pushes from me. “I deserve someone who has the balls to at least admit he has feelings for me. Not a man who’s stuck in a past he can’t change. So, you stay here, Fallon, and you keep hiding from the world. But if you do come after me, I won’t run. Unlike you, I stopped running away from the things that scare me a long time ago.”

The hairs on my neck advance. “I scare you?”

“You terrify the hell out of me. I’m so afraid your depression is going to—”

“My depression?” Hold the fuck up. “You think I’m depressed? You think that I’m hiding on this island because I can’t face what’s happened to my wife. Fuck, stowaway, you couldn’t be more wrong. I’m not hiding. I’m waiting!”

“Waiting,” her head recoils, “waiting for what?”

“For that fucker’s release,” I say, taking a step closer. “I’m waiting out my revenge. And not you, my family, or Twigs is going to stop me from getting it.”

“That’s why you push everyone away.” With her mouth partially open, the tracks of understanding fester her face. “And just what are going to do? Hurt him? Kill him?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I tell her the truth.

“You gotta let this go,” she says, waving an arm in the air. “You need to move on.”

“I can’t.” I palm her face and look into her eyes. “And believe me,” I tilt down closer, “if I could, Katie, I wouldn’t be letting you go. I wouldn’t let you walk out that door,” I murmur before I kiss her.

Chapter Twelve

FALLON

I jump back into my truck, slam the door shut, and look up at The InkWell. I remember when my brother opened it. I handled the legal stuff, Hope helped with the decorating, and Lucky—well, he surprised the shit out of me by managing everything else. A few years before he opened the shop, Hope and I had to help him get clean. He was chasing his demons away by hitting the drugs hard.  I think his demons still keep him up at night, but I’m pretty sure he’s not using anymore.

Pulling my cell from my pocket, I feel guilty. The plan was to come to his shop after hours, drop off the envelope with Aunt Lulu’s inheritance, and slip out without anyone seeing me. My brother needs the money more than I do. But I ended up running into Lucky’s girl, and she was a mess. He’s going to be pissed at me, but I had to help the poor girl out. It seems like she really cares about him. So, I felt that she needed to know about his past and his demons.

Two weeks ago, I don’t think that I would’ve given a shit to get involved. But when I looked in that girl’s eyes, it reminded me of when I last saw Katie—that look of confusion, hurt, and concern. And I could tell the girl cared about my brother, so what the hell.

I swipe the screen on my phone and hit the phonebook icon—there’s only one contact there. I tap it and lift the cell to my ear. It rings and rings until the voicemail kicks in. And I feel guilty again, glad that I don’t have to talk directly to him. I told Lucky’s girl that I’d get him here for her, and this is the only way I know how. “Hey, Lucky. It’s Fallon.” I tap the steering wheel. “Can you meet me over at The InkWell? Need to talk to ya. Ah…okay. See ya.” I tap the screen and toss the cell on the seat.

Turning from the seat, a flash of silver catches my eye. I look back and see that my cell slid right next to it. I reach out and pick up the pendant and the chain falls straight as I lift it. I found Katie’s necklace in my bed when I was getting ready to leave for Burbank. So, I shoved it in my pocket.

When I got to my place in Pasadena, I was surprised to find that my truck started right up. Last time I used it was around a year ago, when Aunt Lulu called me, along with all of my cousins, to her place to announce that she was dying. That’s when she gave me the damn deed with instructions. I’m dreading that call to Shelby.

I look down at the necklace, knowing that it means a lot to Katie. I cup it in my hand, the cool metal weighing heavily on my conscience. I could mail it to her, but I don’t know where she lives. I could send it to Jessina. Or I could take it to her. I know where she works. If I leave now, I’ll be there by morning.

Fuck. What am I thinking? Take it to her. She doesn’t want to see my ass. I told her to get out of my life. I still remember hearing Jenna’s knock on the door that morning when she showed up to take Katie to Glen. I had to drag myself from the kiss. Fuck, I didn’t want to let her go. Katie’s eyes went from passionate to sad¸ and when I didn’t respond, they grew angry. She grabbed her shit and left without a single word.

Hey, I was upfront with her. Told her that I ain’t got nothin’ for her. And I restrained myself, barely touched the woman. I’m not sure now, though, if that was such a good idea on my part. I’ve been thinking about her ever since she walked out my door. Every night, each day, and even when I sleep—I can’t stop thinking about Katie Rustle.

I shove the key in the ignition, slip the gear into drive, and press down on the gas.

Fuck it.

* * *

I glance around Lennox Financial Corporation. It’s just like all the other buildings I had frequented before my life went to shit, but it’s still impressive. I slump back in the chair, waiting. When I asked to see Katie, the chick at the front desk took one look at me in my worn jeans, t-shirt and leather jacket, and with a tight smile, she told me that she’d check to see if she was in. After she had got off the phone, she instructed me to have a seat and that someone would be right with me.

It’s been ten fucking minutes, and I’m not used to waiting for anyone. I scrub a hand over my chin. Damn, I need to shave. It’s been a couple of weeks. And my hair—that mess hasn’t seen a pair of scissors in months.

Another chick finally approaches me. “Excuse me; are you looking for Katie Rustle?”

“Yeah.” I stand up. A little set back by my anticipation. “Is she here?”

“Please follow me, sir,” she says and heads in the direction of the elevators.

O-fuckin’-kay, the chick really didn’t answer my question. But I drove five hours, and I’m not leaving until I see Katie. We get on the elevator, and she presses the button for the fifth floor. She flashes her brown eyes at me, clamps her hands together, and smiles. I ain’t got it in me to smile back. I just want to see Katie, give her the necklace, and then get the fuck out of here.

We get off the elevator, walk down the hall, and enter an office. “Please, make yourself comfortable,” she waves to a chair, “and someone will be right with you.”

“Someone?” Midway to getting my ass in the chair, I grip the arms. “You mean Katie? Right?”

“It’ll be just a few minutes.” The chick smiles again before she walks out the door.

My ass finally makes it in the seat. But in no way am I comfortable. I look around—mahogany desk, matching bookcase, and windows from ceiling to floor. There’s a laptop and a lamp on the desk. A nameplate, but I can’t make out the name from where I’m situated. I spot a man’s suit jacket and just as it hits me that I’m
not
in Katie’s office, in walks the owner of that jacket.

Rolling up the sleeves of his neatly pressed shirt, he stops when he sees me. “Oh, hey.” He drops the folders in his hands on the desk. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I was stuck in a meeting.” He walks over and shoves a hand at me. “Chase Lennox and you are…” He holds his hand out.

 “Waiting for Katie,” I reply, and when it’s apparent that I’m not going to shake the guy’s hand, he pulls it back. He’s tall, well dressed, and seems put together. Just the kind of guy Katie deserves. But I know this guy is already spoken for. My little cousin Jessina has done well for herself. I always had a knack for sniffing out assholes, but this guy seems cool. Still, I don’t care if he is Jessina’s new husband. I’m here for one reason.