Lost Wishes

Lost Wishes

A TroubleMaker Novel

Published by Kelly Gendron

Copyright ©
2015 Kelly Gendron

All rights reserved

Edited by: J. Sims

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations used in reviews.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to all you TroubleMakers!

And a special thanks to my fabulous street team.

You ladies rock!

I’m so tired. I can barely open my eyes, and I can’t remember the last time I was able to lift my arms. My muscles, they’re wasting away. Each breath I take hurts. I lie gazing out my bedroom window, watching a bird circle the willow tree outside, wings opening and closing with beautiful ease. I haven’t been able to feel my legs in weeks. They told me that everything inside would eventually shut down.

I close my eyes, and like every other time, I fear it might be the last.

Then I feel him. He places his strong arms beneath my lithe body and pulls me against his warmth. My head rests over the place where his heart beats. His scent is so familiar, so calming…so him.

Like I’m floating through the clouds, he carries me down the stairs and lays me on the hospital bed in our living room. I hear the faint bustle of the sheet but don’t feel the soft material until it brushes over my naked arms.

Warm flesh touches my cheek. His palm is there. His thumb caresses my chin. I will my eyes to open again. It’s a struggle, but I need to see him. My heavy lids lift and his gorgeous tender smile greets me.

“Hey there, beautiful,” he whispers before pressing a kiss to my forehead. I feel that. “Did you think you were just going to sleep all day?”

I smile as his lips find mine, and I feel that too, all the way to my heart. I’m going to miss him. No. I blink a few times. I’m not going to cry. He’s been so strong for me. I have to be strong for him.

He pulls back, his thumb still stroking my flesh. “How’s my girl? Anything I can get for you?”

“I…” The word barely escapes my lips. Mornings are the hardest. I clear my throat. It’s weak but gets the job done. “I want …” I take another breath, his eyes intent on me, always patiently waiting. “Wish,” I finally get out.

“You want a wish?” His face lights up with that good-natured, loving smile.

It’s a game we play; ask for three wishes and you must grant one of them. We generally ask for two crazy ones, along with the wish we really want. One time I asked to own Paris, a hot air balloon, and for my husband to go out to dinner with me. Later that night, I sat in my favorite restaurant with the most wonderful man in the world across from me.

“Okay, baby.” His finger pushes the hair back from my forehead, which still tingles from his kiss. “You tell me your wishes.”

“You happy.”

“Granted,” he says, and I know the unshaven whiskers dancing over that smile are soft. “I’m happy, Hope.”

I shake my head. “When,” I swallow back a pending tear. “When, I’m gone.”

“Don’t talk like that.” As usual, his tone grows discouraged whenever I try to talk about his future— the one without me. A reality he refuses to accept.

“Listen…” I inhale, and my breathing starts to become a bit easier. “Here are all my wishes.” I move my hand on the bed and lift a finger. “One, be happy.” His eyes drop to my hand. “Two, move on, and three,” I stop for a breath, and he places his palm over my hand, “find someone to love.”

 “I have someone to love,” he says, lifting my hand up to kiss my fingers.

“After me.” I try to scowl, but I’m not entirely sure I get the job done. 

“Now, that’s not fair, Hope.” His lips flatten and he cradles the side of my face with his big warm hand. “Baby, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to grant any of your wishes.” 

“Not one,” I say, gazing up at him for a long moment, loving the feel of his touch on my skin. It makes me feel alive—something I forever want him to feel. “I want them all.”

“Please.” He rests his forehead against mine, his beautiful eyes wet and glistening. “Please, baby, don’t ask this of me.”

“Promise me.” A tear slides down my cheek, but it is not mine. I must remain strong for the man I love. He blames himself for what’s happened to me. Convincing him otherwise has proved hopeless. Again, I swallow back my own tears. I need to stay strong for the broken man I’ll be leaving behind.  “Promise me, Fallon,” I choke back a cry. “Promise me that after I’m gone, you’ll grant all of my wishes…”

Chapter One

FALLON

I drive my firm palms into the mattress. The muscles in my arms flex as I hold my chest up from the bed. I thrust, the force slow but punishing. Sweat should be beading on my forehead, rolling down my chest, and sliding among the heat of our naked bodies—but it’s not. The thrill’s gone, absent, no longer ignites. It stopped happening three years ago after Hope died. Fuck. Don’t think about Hope!

Through hooded eyes, the nameless woman beneath me moans without any sound. She’s ready. I’m not. And I probably never will be. I can’t feel shit. Nothing. My dick’s hard, burrowed deep in a hot, tight place, right where it belongs. But I’m numb.

My hand captures her flushed face. She’s a naughty girl. I slapped her ass, sank my teeth into her flesh, and bit her nipples hard. Fuck, I choked her. But she wants more. She’s a greedy girl. I should’ve known from the way she ripped my clothes off from across the bar with her eyes earlier that she was an aggressive one. The way she agreed to offer her body to me after I told her that’s all I wanted. No names. No polite conversations. Just a promise. Give her body to me and I’d make it feel good. I’d give her whatever she desired.

And fuck. She’s taking full advantage of it. 

Now, whether I want her or not, I have her. She’s mine for as long as I choose. And I need this. It’s only been a week since I’ve had sex. But fucking is the closest I come to feeling alive.

I withdraw my rigid flesh. The tip of my dick taunts her wet opening. A begging cry expels from her pouty red lips. She tips them up, and I turn away.

“What the fuck…” Her body slackens under me.

“Not on the mouth.” I look back down at her. “I’ll kiss you anywhere but not there.”

Near black eyes glare up at me. “Fine!” Her hips roll. “Just don't stop fucking me." Her nails dig into my back, but there’s no pain. Like the rest of me, my desensitized flesh has no response to her touch. “Fuck me,” she hisses into my ear. “Harder. Deeper!”

I grab her arms and detain her wrists above her head. "What’s the matter? My dick not doin’ it for ya?" I tap her cheek hard with my hand. "Is that it?"  I slap her tit. “It’s not enough?” I grab a fistful of her hair and yank her head back. Heat blazes in her dark eyes. The rougher I get, the hotter she gets, and the tighter her pussy clamps around me.

“No!” She shakes her head. "It is!"

“Then stop begging like it’s not, or I’ll give that pussy of yours something to really cry about.”

“You’re so fucking hot. I love it.” She laughs, grinding against me.

I rock in a tormenting, precise motion, making sure not to completely fill her. "Make me believe you.” I thrust hard into her and give her a taste of what she could have, what she needs for release.

Her back arches, trying to get closer to me—a pussy clawing fiercely at her scratching pole. But I refuse to move. She squeals, "It feels amazing!"

"Ahh,” I shake my head, “I don’t believe you." I pull out again, my eyes easily seducing her. "I’m not convinced," I pull her hair again, “
Bitch
.” I test the name. I can usually guess which one they like, which one turns them on. Some want “sweetheart” or “bad girl,” and then there’s the occasional “bitch.” And this one, she’s definitely a “bitch.” She likes it rough. But I do, too. The harder, more intense it is, the closer I get to feeling something. Anything.

My ass muscles tense. I push deeper into her. "Come on. Show me."

“I’ll fucking show you.” She pushes her hands at me. “Get off me, you hot bastard. I want to suck your cock. ”

Hmm. Okay. This could move things along. I roll over and place my hands behind my head. She crouches down between my open legs and pulls off the condom. My handprints redden her perky tits. She’s a fucked-up chick but damn sexy. “I don’t want any teasing. If you’re gonna suck me off, then you better plan on swallowing. Otherwise, just get on my dick and ride me.”

“Oh-ho, I’m going to take every last drop you give me.” She licks her lips, her mouth opens, and she latches around the tip of my cock.

“Just to be sure, I think I’m gonna help.” I place my hand on the top of her head, thrust my hips, and push myself all the way to the back of her throat. She takes me in, and I hold her there until she gags. I let go, let her take a breath, and then push back in. She’s moaning, loving it. I throw my head back. And motherfucker! I see Hope. I’m a sick fucker, thinking about my dead wife while some bitch gives me a damn blowjob.

Hope’s the only woman I’ve ever loved. I can hide all of her pictures, distance myself from everything that reminds me of her, and keep busy, but my body refuses to give up sex. And when I fuck, I feel, if just a little, and when that happens, I feel Hope. In some messed up way, I want to fuck so I can have her—if only for a moment—to be with her in my mind. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help myself. Part of me wishes she’d go away; the other part will never let her go. Yeah, like the woman sucking my dick, I’m fucked up, too. 

I give my head a shake, open my eyes, and look down at the blonde.

My hips start to move. I pump into her warm mouth that’s swallowing my cock whole. My balls rise. I slam my fists on the mattress and move faster, thrusting in and out. The suction of her lips intensifies and the blood rushes to the tip of my head. Finally! I place my hands on her head hold her down and blow my load in her mouth. And, as the sexy and talented bitch promised, she takes every last drop.

I release her. And my dick slips from her plump lips. She sits back on her heels. I get off the bed to get another condom from my jeans. I know this isn’t over with, not yet.

I look back at her. Bottom lip turned down, she’s sulking. “That’s enough,” I snap. “I told you that I’d give your body what it needs. Now, get on all fours.” Her eyes light up and she does as told. I walk over to her, slipping the condom on. “Lift your ass.” She again does as told. I slap her ass hard, once, twice, three times, leaving my handprint there, too.

“Fuck me,” she says, swaying her ass. “Fuck me hard!”

I grab her hips, and in one quick motion, I fill her tight, wet pussy.