Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1) (20 page)

Hudson

I could lay in this bed with her for the rest of my life. Watching her body quake and quiver from the waves of pleasure I push her body into was my new favorite thing to do. Everything about her set me on fire. We’ve spent hours exploring each other and learning new ways to send one another’s bodies reeling.

Her sighs. Her moans. The sweet purrs of pleasure escaping her supple lips. I wanted to be the reason she made these sounds. I was the conductor, she was the instrument and together we were singing our own song. Every touch, every caress, caused the ache to root deeper, the thirst to run dryer and the need to be greater. I knew I’d never be able to get enough of her. I’d never grow tired of this feeling she stirs inside me and I was alright with it.

She slept peacefully, wrapped in my arms. Her body, sated and glowing from the after effects of our love making, is pressed against me. Her head is on my chest, her legs tangled in mine and her small hand is placed over my heart. A tiny mewing sound resonates from deep inside her chest from the rise and fall of her breath. Once in a while her eyelashes flutter delicately against her cheeks. Even in sleep she takes my breath away.

I press a gentle kiss on the top of her head, inhaling her vanilla sugar scent. I’m not sure of the time since I closed the curtains long ago, when the sun began to peek its way into the room. It didn’t matter though, time stood still in her arms. I could get used to that. I press another kiss to her head before succumbing to sleep myself.

*****

Alice

My body ached everywhere. A fair price to pay for a night filled with Hudson and his delicious body. I’d gladly pay it again for another one.

Hudson had decided to pick up some take out but only after I begged him for sustenance and a hot shower. I stare at my reflection, amazed at the changes I saw. My skin was flush, swollen from his kiss and beard stubble. I had amazing sex hair going on and my eyes were sparkling something new. The recently fucked look went well on me.

I step into the steaming shower, letting the hot water fall over my worn muscles. I start to work the kinks out under the heat, the ache in between my legs more sensitive than the rest. I felt renewed somehow, as if the past and all that went with it no longer mattered. In some ways it didn’t matter, Hudson helped erase many bad memories last night, replacing them with new and exciting ones. Memories I could hold onto for the rest of my life and never grow tired of reliving. He helped chase the demons away, breaking me free of Erik’s abuse and his hold over me. He brought me back to life and he did it in a way I never thought possible.

But I was worried. Last night was a big step for us and everything was going to be different now. I
was
different and whatever these feelings were between us, I didn’t have the strength to fight them anymore. Giving into them freed me to finally admit I was head over heels in love with Hudson.

Somewhere along the way I lost my heart to him. There wasn’t a better man in the world for me and despite all the shit I’ve been through, I’m starting to believe maybe I do deserve him. Maybe I can even give him what he deserves. I don’t care what he says or how many times he says it, I’m the lucky one. Lucky he was my neighbor. Lucky he became my protector. Lucky he believed in me and he brought me here to his home to help me. I hate to think what might have happened if Hudson hadn’t been there the day Erik pounded on the door.

A pair of steely arms wrap around from behind, “You didn’t wait for me.”

Hudson.

I lean back and sigh. He nuzzles my neck, running his stubble lightly along my jawline.

“I knew you wouldn’t be long,” his lips travel the length of my neck, stopping at my collar bone.

“Can I wash you?” he asks and I turn to face him, winding my arms around his neck, pulling his head to mine. I can feel the heated column of him against my belly. The man was insatiable.

“Only if I can return the favor,” I whisper against his lips, tracing his bottom lip with my tongue. His dark head lifts up and the water cascades down his body. I begin to kiss down his neck and then his chest, flicking my tongue over his nipple. He hisses in response. His eyes darken with need.

An idea forms as I make my way further south, licking along the lines of his abdomen, nipping his belly button playfully. I kneel down in front of him and watch as his eyes grow larger from seeing his cock inches from my mouth. I touch him with my hands, caressing and stroking the length of him, marveling at the sheer beauty of his manhood.

My tongue flicks out, running over the tip, licking away the salty drop that has formed. His body bucks in response and I suck the length of him into my mouth, exploring his salty taste with my mouth. I release him with a pop, only to repeat the same process once more.

He groans as my tongue sweeps under the head of his rock hard cock and moves further down to his sack. I pull the sensitive skin into my mouth, sucking and lightly scraping my teeth over it. His cock twitches for attention.

“Uhnn, Alice…fuck…” he groans. I love the control I have over him. Taking the length of him in my mouth again, I use one hand to stroke what I can’t swallow, while the other tugs and pulls at his sack.

“Baby, don’t hurt yourself,” he grunts feeling himself hit my back of my throat. I moan against him opening my throat to take him further, my eyes connecting with his. Yes, he knows I can handle him. His hands reach down, threading his fingers through my hair, he begins to fuck my mouth. I follow the rhythm of his movement, urging him a little faster.

“Gonna come, baby let go if you…” I don’t let him finish, sucking and licking with a renewed vigor. His body jerks and he tosses his head back finding his he releases into the back of my throat.

“Fuck…” he gasps, his orgasm pulsing in my mouth. I swallow every drop, milking him with my mouth.

“Alice…” his body shudders one last time before he reaches down me, pulling me up to my feet and planting me against the wall. “I knew your mouth would feel good around my cock, but, baby, that was better than good. That was fucking fantastic.”

“I’m glad to be of service, sir,” I laughing, wiggling against him, my own need growing. He kisses me, his hand finding its way to my aching spot. I bite his lip, pressing my core into him.

“So fucking wet…” he eyes stare down at me, watching the pleasure pass over my face.

“Hudson…”

“I’ve dreamt of this moment, you’re name on my lips right before you come all over my hand,” he picks up momentum, rubbing my clit with his thumb. He slips one finger into my folds and my body vibrates with pleasure. Slipping in a second finger, he latches on my nipple with his hot mouth. “So fucking hot…”

I moan throatily, seeking my pleasure as his fingers plunge into me over and over.

“Hudson…”

“Come for me Alice, all over my fingers,” I feel his words in the pit of my stomach as the tingle in my spine drives me down harder onto them. He presses harder onto my clit and the waves crash down on me, making my body shudder and shake. My knees give way but he is there to catch me.

He’s always there to catch me.

*****

Hours later, we finally get to the take out he picked up, mostly because Hudson couldn’t ignore his phone any longer. While he runs into the office to return a few calls, I warm up the food and set the table. Hudson walks into the kitchen with a grim look on his face. Something’s wrong. My mind automatically flies to Erik, thinking somehow it’s related to him.

“Alice,” his tone is grave and my heart picks up a notch. “There’s something you need to know.”

“Um, sure,” I nod and just like that reality comes crashing down. I swallow my food before giving him all my attention. “What’s going on?”

“I got a call yesterday,” he swallows hard and reaches for my hand. I frown, not completely following him. “The undercover gig, the one I was in LA for, they called. I have to fly to Detroit in two days.”

I stare at him forgetting to breathe. The look on his face tells me there’s something else, something he doesn’t want me to know.

“Is this good or bad?”

“Both,” he says sounding as unsure as he looks. “Something’s happened. Their questioning my loyalty and I’ve been summoned to stand before the Family.”    

His confession seemed practiced and vague. I sit a moment, when the truth dawns on me. The family called him, they don’t think he’s loyal and he waited to tell me. Why?

“Are you in danger?” I ask watching his face transform.

He shakes his head slowly, “No, precious, I’m not in danger. Don’t worry, okay?”

“I don’t understand,” I frown again, trying to keep calm and focused. “You said they’re questioning, what does that mean?”

“Precious, I’ll be fine,” he pulls me from my chair, wrapping his arms around me. It’s a movement we’ve perfected in the last few days. One I enjoy a lot. “If I were in danger, King wouldn’t let me go.”

“Then why make a big deal about it like this?” I ask softly, believing his words.

“Worry, I guess,” he kisses my forehead. “I wasn’t sure how you’d take the news, especially after last night.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” I tilt my head, kissing him softly on his collarbone before placing my head there.

“I don’t want to leave either, but I have to,” he gives me a small squeeze. “King said his contacts are closing in and this trip should be the last.”

“Then go,” I murmur against his skin, my body humming from his nearness. “Catch the bad guys and then come home to me.”

He chuckles but his body shifts and stiffens.

“I’ve arranged for the guys and Missy to be with you while I’m gone.”

“I don’t need a babysitter Hudson.”

“I know but this will give me peace of mind, which means I spend less time worrying about you and more time focusing on closing this case,” what he said made sense and I wasn’t going to argue if it meant he’d be safe too. I didn’t like the idea of having someone follow me around but I was willing to do it for him. I nod, letting him know I wasn’t going to fight him on the subject.

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure,” he shrugs, his eyes now distant. “A couple of weeks maybe. It depends on King’s contacts.”

“You said you have two days until you leave?”

“Yes,” he takes a deep breath and I know he’s feeling the same dread I feel in my chest. We finally stopped fighting the feelings between us and now he has to leave.

“Then we should make the most of these two days,” I pull back to look up at him, letting the need bleed through. “Don’t you think?”

He smiles, his eyes darkening in response. He leans down and claims my lips. Telling me everything I need to know about the next two days in his kiss.       

Alice

If someone had told me three months ago I’d be lying under one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen, reaching levels of pleasure I never believed possible, I would’ve laughed them off the face of the planet. My natural aversion to men and anything sexually related wasn’t the reason why I’d laugh either. It was the idea a man would want me after learning what my life had been like before him.

 I was drawn to Hudson before knowing him and it wasn’t sexual. Sure, I thought he was gorgeous the first time I saw him but I was too damaged to allow myself to think of anything but safety and where to run to next. When I think back to the day I stowed away in his closet I don’t know what I was thinking. For all I knew, Hudson could’ve been a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He could have thrown me out, returned me to Erik but he didn’t. He protected me and he did the unthinkable. He invited me into his life. He made my problems his own, gave me a safe place to be, people to care about and a shoulder to cry on. He gave me the support I needed to push through the darkness and to find myself again. All of this while struggling with his own demons and letting me in.

 Maybe trudging through the darkness was worth it, if it meant this man was meant to be mine. Maybe the suffering we’ve both been through and the paths we’ve walked was important, otherwise we would’ve never have recognized each other. Maybe fate wasn’t such a far off concept after all. I didn’t care about the maybes, as long as whatever it was that was responsible brought me to this moment, the weight of his body pressed into mine and his lips against my skin. How could I complain?

“Hudson,” I sigh, kissing the sheen of sweat covering his brow. He laid his body half on, half off my chest. It has been a marathon two days, neither one of us able to quench the hunger and need, only craving each other more with each touch. It was splendid...and exhausting.

“Am I crushing you?” he breathes huskily, his lips lazy against my skin. I tighten my grip on him, not wanting him to move.

“You’re fine...it’s perfect,” the effects of our marathon have left us worn out and while we still have a little over twelve hours until he leaves neither one of us wants to waste a single moment.

“Yes, you are,” he lifts his head and smiles at me.

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” I smile back and smack him playfully on the arm. His eyes grow serious and somber, focusing on me.

“No one compares to you, Alice,” he shifts bringing his hand to my face, his finger tracing the curve of my cheek. “We’d both know I was lying through my teeth if I said there weren’t any others but I’m confident in saying none of them holds a candle to you.”

His words penetrate the shell of my heart and I can’t hold back anymore. I lift my head and kiss him. I never thought I’d feel this whole in my life again and it was because of him. How I had gotten so lucky was beyond me.

“If I wasn’t so tired, I’d show you just how much they can’t compare,” I giggle against his lips. He lifts off of me and settles beside me, pulling my body against his, like a spoon. I sigh contently.

“Sleep precious,” he kisses my ear. My eyes are heavy, my body sated and my heart full it doesn’t take long to find sleep. Just as we started the day in each other’s arms, we end it the same.

Yes, I’d go through all of it again if the end result was a lifetime of this moment.

“I love you…”

*****

Hudson

My heart stops.

Her words were barely a whisper but they hit me like a ton of bricks.

The seriousness of the last few days claws at my mind. I don’t know what I expected to be at the end of all of this but there was no way we could go back from here. Surprisingly I was alright with it but it wasn’t until those three words slipped from her mouth did I realize how much was invested. And it scares me. I can’t help worrying if I am worthy of her love or if loving her back is a good for her.

I was set to leave in a little over twelve hours and I was beginning to believe it was the best thing for us. Using this opportunity to put some space and distance between us would allow the rush of emotions to cool and their intensity to fade, better to assess our feelings later.

I care for her, deeply and I always said I’d never let a woman in this close again but she was unlike any woman I’d ever known. She’s strong, passionate and soft all at once. Her laugh fills the room with warmth, her smile lights up the dark and her voice is a silky song I’d put on repeat. She deserves a man who can love her with everything he is, with every breath he takes and who will give her the life she deserves.

I just wasn’t sure if that man was me.