Lost Heartbeats (Alexander & Maya Book 2) (11 page)

I pressed another key and hesitated only for a second before I started to play one of Lucas’ favorite Disney tunes. He wasn’t here to sing the lyrics, but I could still pretend like I could hear him singing for the other small kids in the hospital. For some reason, as the surgery date had come closer, Lucas had lost his hope of surviving, as if he knew something we didn’t, but he was the best to give hope for the others.

A little into playing “A Whole New World”, I heard the girl squeal, “Aladdin!” and I smiled to myself, not turning around to look. Lucas would be proud.

If he had been there, he would have been proud with me, for making a little girl happy.

My eyes watered.

Fuck me
.

When the song was nearing the end, I felt Maya’s presence, just before she sat next to me and touched my shoulder without uttering a single word. I didn’t have the strength to glance at her face when my emotions were so close to the surface. The last note rang in my ears, and a happy little clap from the little girl brought me back to the present.

To Maya.

Discretely, I rubbed my eyes.

Then I turned to my right and gave a small bow to the little delighted girl, and faced Maya.

“How did you know?” she asked, her voice shaking with deep emotion.

My face fell.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, cupping her face as I searched in her eyes for what was wrong.

“How did you know?” she repeated again.

“Know what, baby?”

“You didn’t,” she whispered, her words dripping pain.

I turned around and glanced at Linn, trying to understand if they’d had a fight while she was away from me. Linn avoided my eyes, and I noticed her quickly drying her eyes as she busied herself with something I couldn’t see behind the counter.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” I asked again, giving all my attention to Maya.

She lifted her eyes from the keys and gave me a small pained smile. “My dad used to play Disney tunes and other kids songs for the children, too, when he was here. He loved seeing the reaction on their faces.”

“I’m sorry, Maya. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have played if I did. I was thinking about Lucas, and when I saw the girl holding…”

She closed her eyes, so I leaned down and kissed each of them once, softly.

My soul took a deep refreshing breath when I felt her sigh on my lips.

When she opened them again, I brushed my thumb over her cheekbone, trying to memorize the feeling of her perfectly flushed skin.

“Don’t be sorry, please. It’s okay. It looks like you have a new admirer.”

She lifted her face and looked over my shoulder. I followed her gaze to the little girl who quickly looked away and blushed when she noticed our attention was on her.

“What if I have my eyes set on another beautiful girl?” I asked. “Do you think she would be interested in being my admirer, too?”

“Maybe you should play her favorite tune and see if your charms work on her.”

“Will you be all right if I play? I don’t want to make you sad after a beautiful day, Maya.”

“You’ll be here to pick up the pieces, though, right?

“I wouldn’t let anyone else touch what’s mine. From now on, I will always be the one who holds you when you need to be held,” I whispered, running my fingertips through the ends of her hair.

“Then, please play. I haven’t listened to it since the last night you played for me.”

“You don’t listen to it before sleep anymore?”

She laid her temple on my shoulder and answered, “No, now it reminds me of both of you.”

I understood what she wasn’t telling me. I understood her pain perfectly.

Feeling the warmth of her skin on my shoulder, I played the favorite piece of both a father and his little girl. I played for their precious memories and their lifelong pains.

Every time I came close to the end of Ravel’s song, she whispered, “One more, please.” And every time I kept playing.

One more time, just for her.

On our fourth turn in our little bubble in the corner of her café, I felt her tears wet my shirt and it was all I could handle. Stopping in the middle of the song, I lifted her face from my shoulder and kissed her salty lips until there weren’t any tears left trailing down her face anymore.

As we slowly and gently breathed life into each other, I emerged out of my own grief and clung to her for life. Hoping I was worthy of her. Hoping she would understand that nothing would make me let her go anymore.

When the kiss became slightly out of control, my mind cleared enough to remember that we weren’t alone. After touching my lips to hers one last time, I looked into her clear eyes and felt relieved to see it wasn’t grief that greeted me back.

“Let’s get you home,” I whispered, my voice rough.

***

“Looks quiet tonight,” I said as we walked toward her home after I parked her tiny car.

“Yeah, it’s usually like this here. Not too many people out after dark.”

I hummed and pulled her closer to my body with an arm around her waist. “It’s peaceful. I like it.”

“I would think you preferred the big city lights and all that is New York.”

“I love the city. It’s where I grew up, what I’m used to. But this…” I kissed the top of her head, smelling a hint of coconut left from her shampoo. “This is working out fine for me.”

“You’re not bored?” She glanced up at me.

Our steps were still slow as we had nothing but time on our hands. Back in New York, with my hectic work schedule, moments like these would be impossible to come by. Even when I had a free evening, I was aimlessly running in circles around myself. Fixing something, taking care of a problem, dealing with fucking Jackson, pleasing people I didn’t care to please.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you say that.” I loosened my hold on her. “I don’t see your admirer tonight. You going to meet up with him after you get rid of me?”

She smiled that pretty smile of hers. “Oh, he is my love,” she said and chuckled, the fondness she had for that yellow ball of fur apparent in her voice. For a second, I felt jealousy curl its way into my body. Jealousy for a fucking dog. “It’s his walk time. I guess I’ll see him tomorrow morning, if he doesn’t end up scratching my door after their walk that is.”

Christ!
The dog really was in love with her then.

“I guess I’ll have to come up with a few creative ideas to keep you from answering that door.” I sighed as if it was a hardship for me to come up with a thousand new ways to hear that moan slip from her lips.

“Our love will prevail over anything you throw our way,” she grinned at me. “I love that dog with all my heart.”

I didn’t respond. Looking into her eyes, all that was crossing my mind was,
I’m falling for you a little more every time you give me your smile, sweetheart.

Alexander didn’t want to eat outside so as soon as we got home, I took out the homemade lasagna I had cooked up just a few days before from the freezer and heated it up. Camping in front of the TV, we stopped at a random channel and silently finished eating.

I had no idea what was on his mind, but ever since he’d played the piano for the little girl and then for me, he’d seemed preoccupied. Knowing it was about Lucas, I didn’t want to ask too many questions and make his pain more tangible than it already was. However, when he was ready to share, to ask for my help, I planned to be right next to him.

Plus, I liked our silences. I loved how the simple touch of his fingertips didn’t go unnoticed by my heart. How he closed his eyes when I craned my neck and touched his temple with my lips before I carried our plates back to the kitchen. And I loved it even more that we didn’t need words to explain how right everything felt when it was just us.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I took the hand he was holding up for me and lowered myself into a sitting position between his legs, resting my back to his front.

“Thank you for the dinner. It was amazing,” he said tiredly.

“You sound sleepy. Do you want to go to bed?”

“Hmmm,” he hummed, running his nose along my neck. “I like having you in my arms like this. Give me a few more minutes then I’ll go anywhere you want.”

I dropped my head back onto his shoulder and twisted my neck to see his eyes. They were closed. He looked tired with the bags under them and his I-don’t-even-know-how-many-days-now worth of stubble, but he was still painfully handsome.

“Okay,” I whispered, my voice barely audible over the low sounds coming from the TV.

His arms tightened around my waist, so I closed my eyes, too, and started running my fingers back and forth along his forearms.

***

“You have to go with him,” Linn had said after she dragged me into the kitchen and listened to the short version of my day with Alexander.

“What?” I asked, confused. “Go where?”

“You have to go back to New York with him, Maya,” she explained, exasperated.

I laughed. “What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”

Her face softened. “Maya, you are in love with him.”

“I am most definitely not in love with him, Linn,” I replied adamantly, denying what I’d been feeling for quite some time.

“Sweetie, even if you didn’t fall in love with him completely when you were in New York, you made yourself fall in love with him when you left him behind.”

“I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way, Linn. You can’t make yourself fall in love with someone after you leave them.” Trying to ignore the look she was giving me, I walked away from her and started to stack some receipts that were left from the morning deliveries.

She followed me. “Yes, you can. I listened to you talk about that man who is sitting out there countless times, and every single time you thought about how good it was with him, you let yourself fall deeper. Maybe it was the idea of him or the possibilities. Whatever it was, you are in deep now.”

I reached out for another stack of papers, but a few of them scattered around when I knocked them out. She stilled my hands.

“Do you believe you can be in a long-distance relationship?” she asked urgently.

“Of course, why not?” I shot back.

“That’s not what you told him today.”

“Well, now I changed my mind.”

She sighed and leaned her hip against the wall.

“Can I be honest?” she asked quietly as she eyed our waitress, Astrid dumping dirty coffee mugs into the big kitchen sink.

“I think one of you guys should go out there, the table in the front section is almost ready to pay,” said Astrid, walking past us as she headed out the door.

“I’ll be there in just a minute,” replied Linn, then she turned back to me.

Straightening from the wall, she said, “I’ll make it quick. You are having trouble adjusting here without your dad. I’m talking about the café.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she pinched my lips close with her ninja fingers.

“Shut up and listen for a second. I know that you love it here, but today is the first time I’ve seen you smile genuinely for a long time, and it’s all thanks to his hotness out there.”

I narrowed my eyes at her.

She narrowed hers right back at me.

“Think of it as a short love vacation. We are partners now, right? You know you’ll be leaving this place in good hands. You know I’m good at it.”

“Of course you are, Linn. But you—”

“No buts. He is here for what? A week? Two days? Three? Four?”

“I don’t know. I’m afraid to ask,” I admitted.

She tilted her head, her face grim.

“I’ll miss you like hell, but go with him. Go to New York. Give him one month, two months. Hell, give him as much as you want. You can’t build something in a few days that will be enough to carry a long-distance relationship. You deserve this, Maya.”

My shoulders drooped. “I know you are right. I know I’m not the same, but I’m trying to be, Linn.” I lifted my head and looked into her eyes. “Even if I could, he never said anything about me going with him. I can’t just come out and say, ‘Hey, I decided I’m gonna follow you back to New York and just latch onto you.’” I shook my head. “I can’t say that.”

Astrid’s face appeared from the doorway. “Guys?”

“I’m coming,” Linn said. After taking a few steps forward, she turned back to me.

“He looks like he is into you just as much as you are into him, Maya. On top of that, he came thousands of miles just to see you. I think you can say anything you want to him at this point. You can rent a small apartment, or a room. You don’t have to stay with him if you think that would be too much, too soon. Just think about it, okay? I think it’s a really good idea,” she said and walked out, leaving me alone with my troubling thoughts.

***

I jolted awake when I felt something brush my stomach, only to realize it was Alexander’s fingers making their way down between my legs.

“You fell asleep,” he whispered against my skin, his hot breath causing goosebumps.

“Mmm, I’m sorry,” I muttered, linking my fingers through his before he could get to the destination he was headed for.

I tried to turn my head to look into his eyes, but he held me in place, gathered all my hair in his hand, and draped it over my shoulder.

A soft kiss landed on my neck.

Just as I was slanting my head to receive the kiss my body was begging for, a foreign ringtone echoed in my dark living room.

“What the hell,” I said, frowning as I glanced around, trying to find where the noise was coming from.

“Fuck,” Alexander muttered, pressing his forehead against my temple.

“Your phone?” I asked.

“Yeah, sweetheart.”

I let go of his hand and tried to disentangle myself from his embrace, but he didn’t let me up.

“Stay. I’ll get back to whoever it is tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?”

Instead of answering, he slanted his mouth over mine and started kissing me slowly. Reaching up with one of my hands, I held on to his neck and moaned into his kiss. Then his hand found its way back between my legs and he teased me through the thin material of my leggings before sliding it under my underwear.

“Hi,” he murmured, smiling against my lips.

“Hi to you, too,” I laughed sincerely, opening my legs wider for him.

“Looks like you are perfectly ready for me. Swollen and wet.” One of his fingers pushed into my opening and I arched my back, biting my lip to hold back a groan.

He kept teasing me until I was on the brink of losing my mind. “Will you come for me, sweetheart?” he asked with a raspy voice.

Before I could answer, his tongue slid into my mouth again and he added another finger into my welcoming body. I gasped into his mouth just as he deepened our kiss and swallowed every one of my moans.

“Please,” I mewled, embarrassed.

“What do you need, Maya? Tell me.”

Instead of answering, I shamelessly hooked one of my legs over his knee, opening myself even wider.

His thrusts quickened—just a fraction—reaching deeper inside. As I was about to lose myself in sweet ecstasy, he withdrew his fingers.

“Tell me, and I’ll let you come.”

“I just want you,” I cried, frustrated.

“You already have me, baby. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“I want you to fuck me, Alexander,” I said as I tried to press my legs together to find a small release.

“Not yet,” he said, easily pushing my legs back open.

“Then quit playing and give me your fingers. Fast. Hard. And I want your lips on my neck.”

Before the words were even out of my mouth, he pushed his fingers back in and started finger fucking me at a maddening pace. When he licked my neck, I shivered. Then he closed his mouth on my sensitive skin and sucked, finishing me off in just a few seconds. My orgasm rolled through every inch of my body until the warm rush was the only thing I could focus on.

Brilliant colors danced in front of my eyes.

Alexander’s fingers left my body, and he gently spread my own wetness around my clit, making me shake in his arms.

“I love this,” he whispered when he saw the big grin on my face. “I love everything you make me feel.”

His words spread a different kind of rush throughout my body. Rubbing my ass against his rock hard erection, I captured his lips in a slow kiss.

A loud thump and scratch caused us to break apart.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

When I heard Max’s small cries coming from the door, I pushed back on Alexander, attempting to get the door, but he managed to stop me and flipped me onto his lap, positioning me right over his incredibly big erection.

“Don’t even think about it. You’re not going anywhere,” he said.

“But he’s crying. He’s just a puppy.”

His hands tightened around my thighs. “Puppy? He almost reaches your height when he jumps on you. It’s safe to say he is out of his puppy phase, sweetheart.”

I tried to wiggle away, which made the situation even worse for him. “If you get up from my lap, you won’t like what happens next. Choose wisely,” he growled.

I lifted an eyebrow at him.

A loud bark came next, accompanied with a louder whine.

“
Jesus
, what the hell is wrong with this dog? Do they let him roam outside at all hours?”

I laughed and pushed my forehead against his. “I told you, he loves me.”

“He can get in line,” he muttered roughly.

I stopped breathing, my body freezing over his. When I lifted my shocked eyes to his, he was already turning his neck looking toward my front door as the whining grew distant.

Thinking I must have heard him wrong, I forced my body to loosen and answered his unspoken question.

“Alan is probably dragging him away. Sometimes they let him take care of his business in the backyard and he runs to me for playtime.”

“You’ll visit him tomorrow.”

“Are you seriously jealous of a dog?” I asked, holding back a laugh.

“Right now,” he said, lifting up my shirt and throwing it to the floor, “I’m jealous of these clothes.” His hands reached behind me and he popped open my bra, dragging the straps down my arms agonizingly slowly.

Eyeing my breasts with renewed hunger, he leaned back to watch his fingers pinching my nipples. My body reacted and I ground myself over his erection once. “Get up, baby,” he ordered. “Take off your pants and ride me.”

My skin was burning for his touch. I got up from his lap and ran to the kitchen. “Condoms,” I yelled before he could question me leaving.

Dropping the condom next to him, I swiftly took off my underwear with my leggings and watched him unbutton his jeans. When he took his thick length out from its confinement—his eyes still focused on my body—I watched it jerk once, the thick veins noticeable. I licked my lips and he groaned.

He shook his head with a small smirk on his lips. “I want to take your pussy first, baby. Then if you have the strength, you’ll give me your mouth.”

Not answering, I climbed back onto his lap, and he roughly pulled me forward from my knees, making me gasp inches away from his lips.

Our eyes never looked away from each other, but he reached out, ripped open the condom packet, and swiftly covered his cock.

“I need you to ride me hard. Can you do that for me, Maya?”

Reaching behind for his cock with one hand, I grabbed on to his shoulder with the other and slowly lowered myself onto him.

I was still slick with my earlier orgasm and the swollen head slipped in easily, but when I tried to keep going, my muscles clenched around his girth, and I stood still.