Lost Causes (16 page)

I rushed toward the tent’s opening. “Get out of my way.”

Sera stepped to the side when she saw my face.

“Don’t even think about following me,” I whispered, knowing Mac would hear. “Don’t you dare try to save me again.”

CHAPTER 17

I
tore through the trees with no idea where I was going. Power rose. It whispered to me, persuasive lies that promised certainty and peace if I only gave in.

If I let it loose, I would never be whole again.

The same was true if I lost Mac.

So I ran, plowing through ferns and dodging tree roots. My arms pumped and my breath came fast as I released energy the only safe way I knew. More than once I fell. Sometimes I caught myself, scraping my palms as I landed on rocks. Sometimes I crashed to the ground, making no effort to cushion the fall.

I didn’t mind the pain. If the magic was working to heal me, it wasn’t trying to destroy. Creation magic, I remembered. I had to create something.

I had to create a way off this damn island.

I changed course, running toward the ocean I felt on my left side. It was only a few hundred feet away. I burst through the trees onto the beach. My feet were bare, and my heels sank into the dry sand, slowing me. I pushed harder, sprinting toward the water.

It offered no resistance. The waves crashing over me were as comforting as a gentle shower, and once I passed through them to calm sea, I sank to the sandy bottom. I drew on the power of the water, seeking a calm I could only achieve through the element I knew best. I inhaled, letting the water fill my lungs. It entered my ears and nose and mouth, every pore opening to receive the water’s strength.

People thought of the ocean as an empty, quiet place, but they were wrong. It teemed with life. Thick schools of fish swam past me, and a curious turtle visited with me for a while. The ocean floor was covered in bright coral and rock enclosures that small fish used to evade larger predators. It was an entire universe down here.

It was life. Creation.

I stayed underwater until the rage grew silent. As calm returned, I discovered that a second energy was feeding me—the rivers of magma far below the ocean’s surface. The seamount wouldn’t rise for centuries, but it wasn’t stagnant. It was alive, as full of power as the water above it.

When I possessed some facsimile of control, I returned to shore.

The night air was as warm as the tropical water, and I didn’t feel chilled. I felt nothing, really. Numb was a lot easier than trying to understand the contract Mac had made.

“What’s wrong?”

I pushed damp hair out of my eyes and squinted toward a dark corner of the beach, where a dreadlocked woman in a t-shirt and cut-offs watched me.

It took several seconds to convince myself I wasn’t hallucinating. “Vivian? What are you doing here?”

Vivian refused to be distracted. She’d seen me on the container ship. She knew I walked a line so thin I could be the tightrope act in a circus. “That’s not important. Are you…?”

“I’m okay. Really.”

“But not cured yet?”

“Soon. We made an arrangement.” I groaned at the reminder. “Don’t ask. But it will be a couple of days.”

“That’s too damn long. I’m done playing a
Gilligan’s Island
reject.”

I’d been so focused on Vivian that I’d missed the small woman sitting on a nearby rock. Jet was a little beat up after weeks playing castaway, but the changes were all cosmetic. She needed a shower and a large meal, but otherwise she was fine.

While I was glad to see the other hacker hadn’t died of starvation, my pleasure was tempered somewhat by the tranquilizer gun she held.

Vivian glared at her. “Put that away. We don’t need it.”

Jet didn’t budge. She wasn’t pointing it at me, at least.

I considered the gun Michael had dropped during his unplanned escape. “How many doses are left?”

“Four,” Jet answered. She looked willing to use them all.

“Better you guys keep it, in case the cure doesn’t take. Especially since Luke isn’t cured anymore either. Long story,” I said, before they could ask questions. “Wait. Give me one for Sera to hold. Just in case.” I held out my hand.

Jet didn’t seem thrilled at the prospect, but she didn’t argue. The dart was uncapped. I removed my t-shirt. I still wore the undershirt underneath. Without touching the sharp tip, I wrapped the dart in several layers of fabric.

“Now tell me why the hell you’re not on the boat.”

Vivian lifted her chin. “It’s been almost three full weeks. How long was I supposed to wait?”

“You weren’t. You were supposed to sail in the other direction.”

Her jaw set. “I didn’t like that plan.”

One day, I was going to find a friend who was easy-going and pliable, but this was not that day. “Did you leave the boat floating in the middle of the ocean? How did you even get here?”

“I anchored it and brought an inflatable raft to shore. You’re a water whose magic stretches further than anyone we know. You’ll be even more powerful once you’re cured. You can get it back.”

“And if I’m not cured?” I threw my hands up in defeat. “Okay. Whatever. You’re here now. What’s the new plan?”

“Jet and I…”

I rubbed a finger against my ear to clear it. “We’re trusting Jet now? The woman who helped Deborah try to kill me and out-hacked you?”

“She did not out-hack me.”

“Did too,” Jet answered. “Also, no one told me they planned to kill you. I probably wouldn’t have helped them if I knew.”

Vivian looked like she wanted to tear Jet’s shiny hair from her head. “Regardless,” she said through gritted teeth, “Jet isn’t loyal to the council. Or to us. She’s loyal to money, and I’ve promised her plenty of it.”

“You didn’t bother telling her we can’t access our accounts while we’re fugitives?” I whispered, but Jet overheard.

“Not anymore,” she told me. “Even if Deborah could replace me—which is a ridiculous thought—I fixed it for you. You bank in the Cayman Islands now. Don’t understand why you didn’t do that sooner. You’re really rich, by the way. I like that about you.”

I felt like I was at least three steps behind. “Slow down. From the beginning.”

Jet still spoke quickly. I wasn’t sure she had a slow setting. “When Michael and Deborah were asked to leave, they didn’t have a chance to grab their bags. I kept the computer equipment in payment. I expect you to cover the rest.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I raised both eyebrows and blinked a lot.

“C’mon. Don’t make this complicated. I was on their side. Now I’m on yours. It’s pretty easy.”

“For how long?”

Jet grimaced. “They left me behind on an island full of crazy people, with nothing to eat but coconuts and sushi. They’d have to promise a lot of money to buy me back. I’ll give you a chance to match their offer if they do.”

I thought that was Jet’s idea of a fair deal.

“How did a human get involved with the council in the first place?”

“They wanted to track you. I wanted to not star in the next season of
Orange is the New Black.
A month or two ago, our interests converged.”

“They bought the judge presiding over your case?”

Jet shrugged. “I didn’t ask.”

It didn’t really matter, but it explained why the council had become much harder to avoid in late summer.

“You think Deborah will return to the island?” I said.

Jet pursed her lips, considering. “Probably not. She has a serious hard-on for you, but I don’t think she really understood what she was getting into with that weird-ass disappearing woman. My guess is she’s hoping you never leave this place. It’d make her life a lot easier.”

If I didn’t have sufficient motivation to get off the island before, that would do it. Anything that made Deborah unhappy would find an instant spot on my to-do list.

“So if you were able to move my accounts, you definitely sent email. Have you been in contact with the others? Did they get back safe?”

Vivian smiled, and I exhaled in relief.

“They’re fine. We can’t exchange detailed messages, though. We’re on satellite internet now, and only for an hour or so each day. Need to save the batteries.”

“But they’re okay.” For the first time in weeks—hell, months—a flicker of real hope bloomed in my chest. “Tell them to stay safe. We’re getting off soon.” A couple days to be healed, then another for Mac to go with Eila. I shoved that thought away.

“How confident are you

she’ll let you go?” Vivian dug through one of the bags.

I wanted to believe Eila would keep her promise to let us go. I also wanted to believe in leprechauns and the health benefits of an all-carb diet.

Then I remembered how she stared at Mac, and the way none of the residents ever left, and I couldn’t help thinking our escape plan would hit some snags.

“About as confident as a seventh grader at their first school dance. I’m still going to find a way off this island.”

“Take this.” Vivian handed me a tiny metal disc. It was smaller and slimmer than a watch battery, except it had a pin along its back. “Hide it somewhere.”

I worked the pin into the inside of my waistband and snapped it shut. “Tracker?”

Jet preened a little. “One of the best. Custom made.”

“It was supposed to be stuck to you if the council ever got close enough,” Vivian explained. “Jet says it picks up both heat and the energy of magic. Even if it was possible for a human to build that, which it’s obviously not, it will help us narrow down your location if you’re not back here in a few days.”

I cast a longing look at the water behind me. It was far more appealing than what waited for me at camp. “I guess I should return. But Vivian? Be ready to go, okay?”

My friend grabbed a computer and powered it on. She had the kind of determination you only saw in people with something to prove.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got this.”

I returned to camp at a far more sedate pace. Between my sprint across the island and the time bonding with the ocean, I felt less inclined to rip someone’s head off.

I tried to find any reason for optimism. Vivian was smart as hell and had her computer again. If Jet was helping, I had no doubt they’d figure out an escape plan.

But we couldn’t attempt to leave until Mac held up his end of the bargain. Eila wouldn’t let him go without keeping his promise, no matter what scheme the computer geniuses devised.

It was that last thought that kept me dragging my feet. I understood the reasoning behind his choice, but that didn’t mean I’d ever be okay with it.

The island was only so big, and inevitably I arrived at camp. No one saw me approach—no one except the large bear shifter leaning against a tree a hundred yards from the tent.

I drew to a stop fifteen feet away. “What are you doing here?”

“You told me not to follow you,” Mac said. “You didn’t tell me not to wait.” His eyes were hard, but they weren’t cold, not even a little. He straightened, though he didn’t close the distance between us.

“You’re splitting hairs. I’m not ready to talk.” I moved, planning to walk around him.

He stepped to the side, blocking me. “Then listen.” His voice allowed no room for disagreement. He would follow me across the island, talking the whole time, if that’s what it took to make me listen.

This was our reality. I didn’t get to escape it.

Reality had a lot to answer for.

“Say what you need to say.” I clutched the calm center I’d found at the beach, willing my voice to be steady.

“You’re not the only one who gets to make sacrifices. How many times do we have to go over this?”

“Until you stop trying to save me!”

His black expression turned incredulous.

The words poured out, though I knew he wouldn’t accept them. “Don’t you get it? You and Sera shouldn’t have to suffer. You didn’t hurt anyone. I can’t let you pay for my crimes.”

The muscle in his jaw went into hyperdrive. “You’re punishing yourself for David.” It wasn’t a question.

“I don’t need to punish myself anymore. If you go with Eila, you’re doing it for me.” Anger and hurt rose to the surface, and I made no effort to hide them. “And as a bonus, you get to live with the memory that you whored yourself out for me. Who knows? Maybe you’ll enjoy it. I’ve seen your face when she touches you.”

“I can’t help that, and it means nothing. There’s no emotional connection, and you damn well know it. What does it mean when you and Luke run off together?”

“It means nothing!” I threw his words back at him.

Mac gazed upwards, staring at the canopy of leaves above us. He needed to calm himself, and he couldn’t do that while looking at me. “I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re jealous about Eila, or hot for Luke, or beating yourself up for things you can’t change. That’s all secondary to you finally,
finally
being cured. This is my turn to save you, you stubborn, ridiculous woman, and you better believe I’m taking it.”

If that was supposed to make me feel better, it needed a few rewrites. “Ridiculous? Ridiculous?” My voice rose. I stopped long enough to rein in the anger. “It isn’t ridiculous to expect that my boyfriend won’t pimp himself out to a creature. Eila’s not even human. What if she destroys you? She could pull a praying mantis and eat your damn head when she’s done.”

He waited to respond, watching me breathe and calm myself. When he spoke again, his voice vibrated with tension, as if the words themselves would explode at the slightest provocation. “We aren’t certain fusing your magics will work, either, but we’re trusting her with that. How is this different?”

“You know how. For me, there’s no choice. It’s this or crazy. It’s our Hail Mary. You don’t have to do this.”

“This is part of the damned Hail Mary, Aidan. It’s the price we need to pay.”

“And we’ll pay it for years. Decades. I’ll never be able to forget, never get over that she…” I bit off the final words, unwilling to hear them spoken aloud.

“That she what?” He stepped toward me, a movement so contained, so perfect, I could only call it prowling.

I held my ground, but it was a struggle. “That she gets to be with you before I do!” And there was the anger again, the words bursting from me.

He continued to stalk toward me, his face darkening with each step. “You think that doesn’t piss me off? That I won’t even have a memory of us to hang onto? Because whatever she wants, she’s not getting me. No matter what she does, I never think of her, Aidan. Her name is never on my lips. That part is yours and yours alone. It’s been yours from the day I met you, and nothing is going to change that. But this will change everything else, won’t it? When you touch me, this will always be between us. It won’t be just the two of us, not for a long time. Damn it, Aidan!” His fist shot out, and a palm tree swayed at the impact. “Why did you always have an excuse?”