Losing Him (25 page)

Van reached out and hugged me. This was someone that I envied, that I fought with, that I hated for many years, all because she had what I wanted. I never should have let a guy come between our friendship. She was the kind of friend that never turned her back on you. My life could have turned out so differently, had I not have wanted Ty so badly.

Then again, I wouldn’t have Jessie, or Jacob. How could I ever regret the two them?

I reached out and grabbed Van’s hand and she didn’t pull away. “You should both come to the Bed and Breakfast for the wedding. I don’t know when it’s going to be, but we’d love to have you there.”

I could hear the guys in the kitchen talking. They were laughing about something and I felt like I was in some kind of alternate reality. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever consider that I’d be able to be cordial with this family. They were proving me wrong.

Van and Amy looked at each other and smiled. “We think that would be nice.”

It made my night even better.

Jessie and I didn’t stick around much longer. We had celebrating to do on our own. I had a special place that I wanted to take him after dinner, but before I could leave Amy’s house, I needed to ask Van something. I pulled her to the side, where nobody could hear us. “Van, can you do me a favor?”

“Sure. What?”

“Can you thank Ty for me?”

“Thank him for what?”

I smiled and felt embarrassed to say it out loud. “Thank him for never giving me a chance. If it weren’t for that, I’d never have met Jessie and we wouldn’t have the most amazing son. I guess everything does happen for a reason, doesn’t it?”

I wasn’t naive. I knew we’d never be best friends, but we were something other than enemies and it was enough for me. At the end of the day all I felt was grateful to be in the presence of such wonderful people.

Epilogue

6 months later.

Heather

It took me a long time to become the woman that would have made my mother proud. As I looked in the mirror, wearing the wedding dress that she’d made for me, I felt accomplished and happy.

It took four months for my mother’s house to get a contract on it and another month before they settled. The money that I made was going to go into two separate accounts. One was for my brother and the other for Jacob. I think she would have wanted that.

Connor and Amy helped us get the house emptied out the week before the house sold. They were a blessing to have, since we lived so far away.

Jessie’s parents were surprisingly nice about us getting married. His mother had actually taken over and turned my small affair into something that was magnificent. I appreciated it so much, but more so because she was Jacob’s only living grandmother.

A wedding was supposed to be one of the happiest days of a woman’s life, but mine was bittersweet. I was ecstatic to be marrying Jessie, but saddened that I had no family to share it with. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t wish I could pick up the phone and call my mother. I missed her so much.

I spent the week before my big day in a state of depression over it. Not because I wanted people to feel sorry for me, but because I missed every single thing about her. No child wants to walk down the aisle without a parent at their side.

While the chairs filled up outside, I was steady pacing around, worrying about being able to keep myself from losing it. I was going to be strong and walk down that aisle, because Jessie was at the other end waiting for me.

I peeked outside and only noticed his family. A couple girls from the hospital had showed up, but nobody else that I recognized. I was freaking out.

A knock at my door caught me off guard and I jumped before running over to answer it. Van and Amy stood there. “You look beautiful, Heather,” Amy said as they entered the room.

I didn’t waste a single second. I grabbed both of them and hugged them, while tears ran down my face. “I didn’t think you would come.”

“Conner never passes up free booze,” Amy teased.

Van took my hand. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Amy excused herself while I sat down next to Van. “What is it?”

She looked right at me with a serious look on her face. “I don’t want to make you upset, but there’s something that you should know. I told you how I talked to your mother about having cancer. She helped me so much more than my own mother could. It was hard for my mom because she was so scared for me. I needed someone that knew what I was going through. After my mastectomy, I spoke with your mother. She knew she was dying. The cancer had spread and her time was limited.” Van started sniffling and I matched the sounds with my own tears. “Your mother fought so hard, Heather. She didn’t want you to be alone in this world.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“She asked me something and I never told anyone, but you.”

I sat there wondering what it was.

Finally she smiled and grabbed my hand. “She asked me to forgive you.”

“What?” I kind of knew this already, but hearing her say it on this particular day was special.

Van cried harder. “I promised her that I would.”

It was all starting to make sense. Van being at the funeral and all of her kind acts were a direct result of a promise she’d made to my mother while she was on her death bed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Heather, I keep my promises.”

She held my hand as we sat there. It took me back to a time when two little girls were friends and boys didn’t exist. Sure, Van was there because she felt sorry for me, but I had to believe that she was there because she wanted to be. If I had to risk my life for anyone other than my family, it would be there’s. They would always hold a part of my heart. In good times and bad I knew I wouldn’t be where I was without them.

Walking down the aisle wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Jacob walked down and grabbed my hand. He pulled my arm, making me lean down. “Daddy says I should hold your hand.”

I didn’t waste any time putting hand in his. We walked together slowly with our eyes focused on the man we both loved. When we made it to Jessie, he grabbed one of each of our hands and we stood forming a circle. Jacob got a kick out of being a part of the ceremony, while I battled with being able to go ten minutes without sobbing.

When the pastor told us we were married, I think I took my first full breath. Jessie kissed me deeply and pulled away to whisper in my ear. “I love you.”

I’d waited over thirty years to hear a man say that to me and mean it. I don’t think it would ever get old.

That night, once we got off the plane in Jamaica and checked into our hotel, Jessie and I laid in bed looking into each other’s eyes. He played with my hair while smiling at me the whole time. “You look happy.”

“That’s because I am,” he answered.

“How would you feel about having another baby?”

He pulled me on top of him and cupped my naked ass. “Are we going to start trying now?”

I shook my head and sat up, grabbing my abdomen. “We don’t even need to try. I’m six weeks along.”

That night I did something that I never thought I ever be able to do.

I made love to my husband; the man who finally loved me.

For the longest time I had given my heart to Tyler Mitchell. Losing him was when I finally found my happily ever after.

The end of Book 8

Look for Book 9, Loving Her in December 2013.

Here is the first 3 chapters of Twinsequences for you to enjoy!

Chapter 1


Just walk away.

“Can I have an iced mocha latte with skim milk and whipped cream?” Yeah, the whipped cream cancelled out the skim milk, but at least I attempted to be good. Besides, it had been my breakfast for the past four years of college.

“That’ll be three dollars and thirteen cents. Please pull around.” I loved routines, my life, and the future that I was going to have.

I couldn’t believe that I’d finally graduated and was now able to start my life. After I’d found a job, it was my plan to go back to school and get my bachelors degree. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t ambitious. It was in my blood, with my parents both being doctors.

They’d wanted me to follow in their footsteps, but I still wasn’t sure that was the right career path for me. The hardest part was the fact that I hadn’t been home in years. It wasn’t because of my parents and it wasn’t even because of my sister, well, not directly because of her. She couldn’t have known what was going on inside of my head.

No, there was someone else that I couldn’t face; someone that I’d be forced to be around if I went home to visit.

Stoshua Wheeler.

I guess to better understand my reasoning, I’ll have to go back to my senior year of high school, the year when everything happened. It was then that I decided that I needed to be as far away from my twin sister, and this town, as I could get.

Growing up, and being just minutes apart, was awesome having a twin. We talked alike, dressed alike, and shared everything. Every memory I ever had as a little girl, my sister was with me. We were inseparable and the best of friends. Imagine having someone that is the mirror image of you. We shared the same friends and even interests.

Then high school happened.

It was the first day of our senior year. My sister, being captain of the cheerleading squad, changed her outfit at least six times. She couldn’t decide on putting her hair up or leaving it down.

While she had a nervous breakdown, I straightened my hair and put on the outfit that I’d picked out the night before. I’d already looked up my syllabus and known my schedule, since I volunteered at the school during the summer.

The one thing I hated about high school, was having to share a car with my sister. Sure, it was a BMW, and all of our friends envied us, but my sister had the crazy social life. I was usually stuck bumming a ride with one of my friends.

As usual, I ended up being the first student to arrive in class. Most people wouldn’t enjoy AP Chemistry first thing in the morning. I felt it to be invigorating.

The class filled with familiar faces. When you were enrolled in the classes that I was in, you were always stuck with the same people. It was good to have the same friends, even though my studies were more important than any kind of socializing.

I’d been on a mission ever since middle school. My focus was to have the best grade point average that was possible.

I was prepared for the new school year. Nothing could distract me. Well, that’s what I thought.
Five minutes after the bell rang, the most handsome specimen of a man

walked into my classroom. His hair was wavy and he was so tan. Even before I saw his blue eyes, I think I knew they were going to make me melt.

The teacher took his schedule and looked out at us. The only empty seat was next to me. I usually preferred sitting alone, so that I could focus.

“What kind of name is Stoshua?”
“Joshua was already taken,” he replied sarcastically.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
A couple students turned around and gave me a dirty look.
When I looked up at the front of the classroom again, the new guy was

looking right at me. I didn’t know what to do, so I looked down at my hands and refused to look at him again. My cheeks were rapidly growing hot and my heart was pounding out of my chest.

I wasn’t used to feeling so embarrassed, but this guy was so gorgeous. To make matters worse, the teacher had him sit right next to me and assigned him as my lab partner. It was the first day that I didn’t want to be in chemistry and also the first time I’d had a panic attack.

As the months went by, my obsession with the new guy, turned into an infatuation. The more I tried to stay focused on school, the more I fantasized about Stoshua. We got to know each other and became close friends. I was too shy to admit that I was interested in him. I’d never dated and I didn’t know how to be in a relationship.

He became my second best friend. On the weekends, we’d watch eighties movies and hang out, studying or going places together. We talked about everything and had each other on speed dial. With my sister being so involved in herself, Stosh was my only confidant. Sure, I could never admit how I felt about him, but it didn’t matter. All I wanted to do was be with him, every second of every day. I fantasized about changing my last name to Wheeler. I designed my wedding gown in my head and named our first born son.

Don’t act like you’ve never done it before. We all fantasize about being swept away by our own version of prince charming. For me, he was my kryptonite. I lived and breathed to be near him, all in hopes of one day to become Mrs. Stoshua Wheeler.

At the end of the school year, a few weeks before prom, I had this feeling like he was going to ask me. Since we had even more classes together that semester, we were together all of the time. He’d come over to study and stay for dinner, or I’d do the same at his house.

Even though I didn’t know for sure, I believed that he liked me as much as I liked him.

I’ll never forget practicing over and over what my conversation with Stosh was going to be. At first, I wrote him notes. After going through almost an entire notebook of paper, I decided that it was better if I just came out and said what I was feeling.

Gaining the courage to put myself out there was nerve racking. Once any other logical option was exhausted, I knew I had to go for it. My sister knew I was up to something immediately. This particular year had been harder for me. As focused as I was on school, I felt like she was leaving me out of things. She hung out with her friends more than she spent time with me. Most nights, she snuck in the house after curfew and smelled of booze. Her defiance was associated with her popularity and the type of people that she hung out with. In some ways I was jealous. Ivy was always having fun, where I was always focused on being the best person I could be. Responsibility was important to me, but not my sister.

With prom being so close, it also meant that finals were even closer. I’d studied for weeks and was sure to ace all of my exams. Ivy came to me one day in