Losing Him (23 page)

After dealing with that, I still had to talk to my father and contact Amy to see if she could speed up the dress being repaired. I had my plan in order.

Chapter 31

Heather

The following morning, after I found the safe deposit box, I was at the bank trying to figure out what my mother had left for only me. After showing her death certificate and my identification, they led me into a room and sat me down at a table. A couple minutes later they brought in the box.

As I opened it, I saw a bunch of papers on top. When I took a closer look I realized that they were old bonds. When I say they were old, I mean they were from the old railroad days and there wasn’t just two or three. There were over ten.

Since I had no idea what they could be worth, I sat them to the side and found a letter from my mother.

Heather,

I’m so glad you found this box. I’ve been saving this for you since the day your father left from our lives. He didn’t just leave me with two children. He left his great-grandfather’s bonds. I’d meant to return them, but after he died, nobody came looking. There’s a copy of his death certificate and a copy of your birth certificate. You’ll need these for identification. You’re probably wondering why we suffered for so many years when I had these sitting around. That answer is easy. They were never mine to spend. I think you deserve this. If your brother ever gets his act straight, there is a stack of bonds with his name on them as well. I don’t know exactly how much they will be worth, but it would be enough for you to get a good start at whatever you want to do. If you’re reading this letter than I’m already gone.

I had a lot of time to think about how to leave things for you kids. I’m sure in time, you’ll find more little notes for me. I wanted you to find them as you were living your life. I love you so much. Kiss Jacob for me everyday and know that you won’t have to worry about money.

Love

Mom

We weren’t poor, but this was insanely generous, even though I knew I was the last living relative. If these belonged to my father, than my brother and I deserved them.

A few days later I was with a specialist who was letting me know just what the bonds were worth.

What he told me, left me flabbergasted.

Not only would Jacob never hurt for anything, but I’d be able to pay off my house and live comfortably. I’d never have to rely on anyone else to take care of me.

I cried alone in my house for the next two days, drowning my excitement in twenty dollar bottles of wine. It wasn’t like I could call and tell anyone about it. Jessie surely didn’t want to hear that I didn’t need his help anymore.

After a little too many glasses of wine, all I wanted to do was talk to Jessie. I was feeling relaxed, but lonely. It was a mistake even though I was going to do it anyway.

Heather, it’s midnight. Are you alright?

I miss you.

If you miss me so much, then why do you want to be without me?

Because I know you don’t really want me. You don’t want to be committed to me. I know you felt bad about the accident, but I’m not your responsibility.

Heather, you don’t know what I want. What if your throwing away something special? What if my intentions are true? Do you really want to separate our family without knowing the truth?

I don’t need your money anymore, Jess. Something great happened.

What are you talking about? You must be drunk!

Losing you hurts so much. I know it’s the right thing though. It will just take time for me to heal.

Have you been drinking? You’re all over the place and your voice is slurred.

Maybe I had some wine.

Heather, listen to me. Please don’t go anywhere. Stay home and sleep it off. Promise me.

Yeah, I’m not going anywhere. I wish you were here with me, in my bed. Do you miss my body, Jess?

You know I do. I miss everything about you.

I’m never going to stop loving you.

Call me tomorrow and let me know you’re okay.

I will.

Yet again, I didn’t get those three little words that I longed for. In fact, in our whole relationship, he’d only said it a few times. That drove me crazy. What was it so hard for him to say that to me?

Feeling defeated and alone, I decided to call it a night. While laying there trying to go to sleep, I thought about Jacob and how hard it was going to be for him to be without his father. I knew my decision was insensitive and probably made no sense since Jessie and I had been getting along so well. He wouldn’t be able to comprehend that our history and his father’s lack of being able to commit would be the reason for us not being together anymore.

He’d probably hate me.

I don’t know whether it was the alcohol, or maybe my mind finally realizing that I was in for a lot more heartache, albeit I curled up in a ball and began to cry again. If only Jessie loved me whole-heartedly. If only he would take that leap of faith and forgive me for my wrong doings. Everything would be so my easier.

Too bad Jessie wasn’t the commitment kind of guy. Instead he fought with himself over having feelings for me at all. In time, he’d would always walk away and pursue something else. I couldn’t have my heart broken like that again. I couldn’t hear Jacob come and tell me that Daddy went on a date with another woman. I couldn’t be that jealous woman that called him begging him to stay with me.

I was just so tired of it all.

How many years was I willing to wait for a guy that was never going to change or be able to commit to me at all? His broken promises and lack of trust were what was the breaking point for our relationship. As much as I wanted to be with him, it couldn’t continue.

As much as I wanted to be happy and celebrate the fact that I had money to start a new life, I knew I would not only be breaking my own heart, but my sons as well. It made me even more upset.

I bawled until I finally fell asleep from exhaustion.

The next morning I had a headache, so I went to take something for it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a regular bottle of pain killers to save my life. The local drug store was about a half mile from where I lived, so I got dressed, put on some sunglasses and headed out for a walk.

By the time I’d made it inside of the establishment, my back was full of sweat and I felt dizzy. My head was spinning and if I turned my neck a certain way I could see stars. I kept my sunglasses on as I paraded through the aisles looking for the painkillers.

I couldn’t help but notice this particular man when I got to where I was looking. He was tall, tan and scruffy, and talked on his cell phone with a strong southern drawl.

“I don’t see that bottle here, darlin’.”

Jessie was who I loved, completely, but this man was just gorgeous. He had a hat on that covered the front of his face, but I could tell he wasn’t going to be ugly anywhere on that body.

I tried to look for what I needed while listening his sexy voice, until I heard him say something and realized just who I was looking at.

“Savanna, I’m not findin’ that. Are you sure they sell it here? Maybe they just have it back home.”

I don’t know why I did it, but instinctively, I reached over and grabbed his arm. He got his strange look his face, at first, so I pulled off my sunglasses.

He chuckled. “Here, talk to her and tell her you don’t see that Goody’s headache relief. She doesn’t believe me that they don’t have it.” He handed me the phone.

Van, It’s Heather.

Oh my God, did you recognize Colt? That is so funny. I’m out in the car. We stayed up last night playing cards and my head is killing me.

Yeah, I had too much wine and came here for the same reason. I know that have Goody’s up at the front register. I can send Colt there now.

Oh, thank you so much.

Van, this might be a terrible idea and I understand if you say no, but would you like have lunch while you’re here?

I think that would be nice. How about you stop by the car on the way out. It’s actually a black SUV with Kentucky plates.

I couldn’t believe that she had agreed to have lunch with me. After grabbing some Tylenol, I headed home feeling like I finally had someone that I could talk to. I wanted to start over. Van being nice to me was just the begging.

As I approached the vehicle, I saw Van hop out. Unexpectedly, she walked up and hugged me. “How are you doing?”

I shrugged. “Are you asking because you know I’m a mess?”

She pulled away and looked at me. “Don’t say that. I’m sure you have friends.”

I put my head down and looked at the pavement. “I really don’t. I go to work and come home to Jacob.”

“What about Jessie?”

I felt my stomach knotting up and was ashamed to tell her what I’d done. “I left him. I just…I couldn’t be with someone that was with me out of pity.”

She reached out and grabbed my shoulder just as Colt approached us with a bag in his hand. “I’m so sorry, Heather. I thought that he wanted to work things out.”

“Yeah, Jessie doesn’t know how to work things out. He’s fickle. I can’t wake up every day and wonder if that day will be the day he leaves again. It’s been our whole relationship. He’ll never forgive me.”

She hugged me again. “Life is too short, Heather. I’ve learned to forgive others. Everyone needs a second chance at redemption.”

I started to tear up. “Thank you for saying that.”

“You know what I think?” She put her hands on her hips.

“What?”
“I think you need a makeover. You need to do something to feel good about yourself again.”

I shook my head. “I’m not going to that salon with Miranda there. She will never be okay with that.”

She started to laugh at me. “Her and Ty went to Florida with his parents and the kids. Colt and I came to help Conner with a shipment of steers. We’re staying at their place.”

“Are you sure it’s okay with Amy?” Was this where they tied me up and buried me alive as payback? Nobody would even come looking for me. “Maybe I shouldn’t.”

“Just stop by. I’ll be over as soon as this headache goes away.”

She climbed in the car, while Colt gave me a nod and did the same. As they pulled away I waved.

My head was pounding and I was nauseas as crap, but all I could think about was that invite.  Maybe I wanted to be their friends too much. Maybe my intentions were selfish.

It didn’t matter.

I hadn’t felt so excited in a long time.

I had hope.

Chapter 35

Jessie

I woke up out of a deep sleep to someone beating on my door. When I realized that the knocking wasn’t stopping, I hopped up and ran toward it, so that Jacob wouldn’t wake up. For some reason I didn’t even bother to look and see who it was before I sprung open the door, angry and dazed.

Heather just stood there with a big grin on her face. She looked like she was ready to go out to someplace fancy, wearing a long, black dress coat and very high heels. “Are you going to let me in?”

I scratched my head and realized that I was standing at the door in just my boxers. Even though there wasn’t any other homes around my place, it was still a bit chilly. I backed away from the door and kicked it open.

Before I could say anything, she walked past me and dropped the coat. Her little lacey number was see thru, showing me every single detail of her perfect body. I bit down on my lip and felt my dick responding to her beauty. She walked up, putting her lips so close to mine that I could feel her breath against my face. “Tell me you want this?” She motioned her hands up and down her body.

I took my hand and backed myself away as I unhooked her bra from the front. “How about I show you?”

She shuffled off the bra and watched me toss it on the floor. I grabbed her waist and lifted her into my arms, kissing her while she wrapped her legs around me and I walked us into the bedroom.

Heather’s body fell down on the soft bed. Her breasts bounced, catching my attention immediately. I just stood there, taking every inch of her in. Her beauty overwhelmed me. Her sex appeal seduced me.

I was pudding in her pretty little hands.

I lifted one of her legs up, paying close attention to the stilettos on her feet. I kissed the leather strap as I slowly unfastened it. She giggled, but remained still as she watched me take off the shoe and kiss her little toes. I watched her licking her lips as my lips made their way to her ankle.

Heather brought her hands up to her breasts and played with her nipples. I kept my eyes on what she was doing while my mouth made its way to her calf. I let her leg fall down on the bed while I repeated the process to her other leg.

I cleared my voice while focusing on what she was touching. Without further ado, I grabbed her other leg and spread her wide open. I could see in her eyes that she didn’t want to move slow. With my hard cock in my hand,  I teased her entrance, letting her wetness lubricate the tip of my shaft.

She cried out as I entered her and wrapped her legs around my waist again. Her walls were tight, just like it was our first time together. The faster I moved, the more she cried out. Sheer passion ignited her, fueling her drive as she rocked her body into mine, pushing off the bed for a harder hit. She let her head fall back onto the pillow while her eyes closed and tightened herself around my cock. It was only moments before I was ready to explode.

Then she jumped up. I assumed she wanted to switch positions, until she climbed off the bed and stared at me. Her hand came across my face before I knew what was happening. “We could have been happy together. I needed your love and was refused it. Consider that your goodbye!”