Losing Him (11 page)

I’d explained most of this to him already, but I guess he wasn’t fitting everything together. “It all goes back to me meeting Conner. All along, he’d been seeing Amy. I didn’t know that Rick was crazy and that he’d been abusing Amy. One day I went to get my haircut and she said she wanted to set me up with someone. She and Rick took me out to dinner to meet Conner, who Rick knew as Miranda’s brother, but I didn’t. Conner needed to get close to me so he could find out the truth for his family. In the meantime, while he and Amy were busy sneaking around, Rick was doing his own sneaking. He slipped me his number and asked if we could go out and talk sometime. He said he liked to have fun and he and Amy weren’t happy anymore. The story that I’d gotten from Amy was that Conner was from out of town and he just wanted company when he came to visit. I liked him, but I couldn’t see us going anywhere. Plus, I needed to keep my mind off of everyone in this town that hated seeing my face. So, throwing caution to the wind, and completely losing my mind, I started seeing Rick. He was older and more mature. I just thought that maybe he could offer me a way out. I had no idea he was crazy and plotting to kill his wife. As soon as I found out, I did what I could to help Amy. That’s when I came looking for you. You know the rest. I wasn’t hiding anything about Rick.”

“I just wanted to check.”

I laid my head against his chest. “Jess, I’ve never been so scared in my life. He said he was going to kill me. I watched him attack my mother and then I just ran. Conner and Amy helped me get out of town. They were scared of Rick too. I did my best to keep tabs on him, but he went off the grid for a while. I never wanted to end up in Kentucky, fighting for the life of me and other people, especially when I knew I was carrying your baby. I did what was necessary to stay alive, because I wanted to have a life with you.”

He kissed me on top of my head. “I would have protected you, had I known about him.”

“I was afraid to tell you. Things were so good and I knew if you knew it would ruin everything. That’s exactly what happened too. I lost you the moment you found out. Your parents hated me and most of all, you did too. For the past five years I’ve done everything I could to get you out of my system, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t give up on having the family that I always wanted.”

He scrunched up his face and looked at me. “Maybe we should just start over.”

I pushed him. “We have a son together.”

“I meant we should start with a clean slate, woman! That blonde hair is messing with your mind.” He laughed and then got a serious look on his face. “How are you feeling?”

“About us, or my mom?” They were two different things.

“Everything.”

“I’d be lying if I said that I was doing okay, but being here with you has never felt so good. Thank you for giving me another chance, Jess. I love you so much.”

He smiled and kissed me on the lips, slowly.

Chapter 14

Jessie

Waking up in bed with Heather, and not regretting it, was something new. I don’t know how it had all happened. One minute I was ready to walk away from her for good and the next I was feeling bad that I hadn’t just forgiven her and let us be a real family.

I turned and watched her sleeping peacefully. She was so pretty, laying there on her stomach. Her naked back had a couple freckles across it. I ran my fingers over her creamy skin. She stirred and got comfortable again, before opening her eyes. “Hey. I thought I was dreaming.”

“Do you need me to pinch you?” I teased.

She laughed. “I’d rather you not.”

I leaned up on my elbow and looked right at her. “So, this is different.”

“I keep feeling like you’re going to change your mind.”

I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I’m not.”

Little footsteps could be heard running against the hardwood flooring. Jacob came into the room and jumped on the bed. Realizing that neither of us had any clothes on, we pulled the covers up. “Did Daddy sleep in here too?”

Heather looked at me. I just laughed. “Yeah, buddy. I slept in here with Mommy. Is that okay with you?”

He started jumping around on the foot of the bed. “Yeah!”

“Jacob, you’re going to fall off the bed. Please don’t do that.” Heather’s attempts at getting him to listen never worked.

“Jacob, did you hear your mother?” He stopped immediately.

Heather groaned and put her head into the pillow, face first. She hated when he listened to me so quickly. I put my arm around her and stuck my head near her ear. “What are your plans for today?”

“I have to start going through things, I guess. The lawyer is coming this afternoon to go over my mother’s estate.”

“What’s an estate?” Jacob climbed up between us.

“It’s the belongings of a person that has died,” I explained.

He started jumping again. “I want to get out of here! Let’s go play!”

I sat up and gave him the look where I was about to punish him. He froze.

Heather finally turned around and sat up. She looked at Jacob and then back to me. “Buddy, I have to clean out the attic too. I bet there is some cool toys up there that you can keep.”

“Really?” His eyes got huge. “Let’s go now!”

Heather looked at me and rolled her eyes.

“How about you go watch television while Mom and I get dressed?” I pointed toward the door.

“Get dressed? Why don’t you have clothes on?” His eyes went toward the covers. I got that he was being curious, but he was way too young for that explanation.

“Jacob, just go watch one of your shows. I’ll be right out.” I motioned toward the door one more time.

He ran out, like he was afraid of me. Heather started laughing and pulled the covers over her head. I ducked down under the covers with her. “Are you hiding from me?” I pulled her close to me.

“Of course not. I’d never hide from you.”

I started to tickle her. Just one touch and she was wiggling around and screaming. Her boobs were so close to my face that I was starting to get aroused. Since I had to pee, I needed to stop before I was locking the bedroom door and taking some morning loving. “I’m getting up.”

She reached down and felt me. “I can tell.”

I rolled out of bed and held onto my jewels like I was protecting them. “Jacob is waiting for us, you know?”

She pointed to my morning erection. “You’re the one with the problem. I was perfectly content until you started touching me with those sexy hands.” Heather was giving me that look and I needed to get into a cold shower to calm myself down.

I pulled on my boxers and waved as I walked out of the bedroom. A pillow came flying at my head and I heard her laughing. I liked seeing her smile. She hardly ever did, so it made it more special.

A little later, after my shower and some cereal, we headed up to the attic. Heather’s mom’s attic wasn’t like the kind with the pull down stairs. It was a door that you opened and walked up a set of steps. I imagine that some people would finish it off and make it an extra bedroom. She had set hers up as storage on one side and a sewing room on the other.

Heather bypassed the sewing room and headed right for the slew of storage boxes. I noticed her mother had been working on several blankets that she had hanging up. Pushed to the side was a wrapped package. Thinking that it was for someone, and she had put a lot of time into it, I picked it up to see if there was name attached to it.

It was labeled:

To Heather, Love Mom.

The box was pretty big. I just assumed that it was a special blanket that she’d made, since that was what she always made for people. “Babe, there’s a box here with your name on it.”

Heather handed Jacob a container full of matchbox cars and started walking toward me, without saying a single word. She had this blank look on her face as she sat down next to me looking at the wrapped package. “Where was it?”

“Sitting down there in the corner.”

She pulled the tape off of the corners and lifted the box open. I couldn’t have been prepared for what she pulled out.

First, it was a note. She read it out loud.

“Heather, I wanted to give you this in person, but if you’re reading this than the timing wasn’t right. I hope that one day you will be able to wear this. I made it with love. Please don’t be sad if I’m gone. I will always love you. I’m so proud of the mother that you’ve become. You’re so beautiful and I know this will be stunning on you. Love, Mom”

Heather was crying as she pulled back the tissue paper and lifted out a satiny white bunch of fabric. As she stood up, I finally understood what it was. Her mother had made her a wedding dress. Heather held it close to her chest and continued to cry. She finally sat back down and folded it into the box. “Aren’t you going to try it on?”

She looked at me and said nothing. With tears running down her face, she traced the fabric with her fingers. In a whisper, “I’m afraid.”

“Of what? She worked hard on it.”

Heather looked right at me. “It’s not like I can wear it.”

It wasn’t like she was pressuring me to ask her. She didn’t say it like that. I knew she wouldn’t push me on issues like marriage. We were starting over and needed time to work things out before we took a step like that. “What am I supposed to say?” I felt terrible. Her mother had made her something so special. Was I being a dick for not dropping down on one knee and popping the question?

“It’s bad luck for you to see me in it anyway.” She tried to smile through her sobbing.

I leaned over and touched her arm. “I appreciate that you’re considering that I’d be the groom. I think you should keep it nice. Maybe we could use it on a rainy day when there isn’t anything else to do.”

She took it as a joke, which was good since I meant it that way. She shoved my side. “You’re lucky I like you so much.”

“Maybe you can remind me how much you like me, a little later?”

She smiled. “Maybe I will.”

Heather took her time putting the dress back in the box, after she’d pulled it out and admired its detail. Her mother really was a talented seamstress. The woman took care of people at the hospital and then came home and made things. It seemed liked a boring life. Maybe she liked the fact that Heather kept her on her toes.

We spent the rest of the afternoon going through boxes. It was tedious, but when it as all said done, we’d made good progress.

The lawyer showed up right before we started to cook dinner. He had called and said that he’d be late, so we just stayed in the attic longer. Jacob had acquired a bunch of new toys to play with. He stayed in the living room setting up little cars and tracks. 

Once Heather and the lawyer were sitting down, I joined Jacob. Her mother’s affairs weren’t my business and I didn’t want her to feel like I was intruding. It was something that she needed to handle on her own.

I’d no sooner sat down with my son when he started getting curious. “Daddy, how come you slept in bed with Mommy?”

“Because I wanted to.” I readjusted something he had set up.

“Why?”

Of course he would ask that. “Isn’t it okay if I want to hug Mommy and sleep next to her?”

“Yes.”

“Mommy and I talked about it. We want to be a family and be together again. Is that okay with you?”

He put down his car and looked at me. “Does that mean we can live together and you don’t have to pick me up anymore? I don’t like leaving Mommy alone. It makes me sad.”

I hadn’t thought about our living arrangements yet. This decision of mine was unexpected. “We can talk about it. Would you like that?”

“Yeah. Just make sure you don’t leave my toys.”

Of course, he would mention his most prized possessions. The kid didn’t have a clue about relationships. This was just another reminder.

After playing cars for over an hour, I saw Heather walking the lawyer out. She didn’t look happy and I could tell that he must not have given her good news. Once she shut the door, I waited for her to approach before asking questions. “You alright?”

“It wasn’t good.” She shook her head and walked toward the kitchen. “Apparently, she had to cash in her retirement to cover my brother’s attorney costs. She spent forty thousand dollars and he still was found guilty. That should be a crime in itself. They robbed her!”

I couldn’t believe it. “Wow. She’s his mother. That’s what parents do.”

“I know.” She let me hug her. “I just hate that she worked so hard and lost it all. I guess it doesn’t matter since she wouldn’t have been around to spend it. It wasn’t like I was counting on getting rich. I was just hoping that I could put something away for Jacob.”

“If we live together, than we can afford to start saving for him.”

“I’m not moving in with you just for that. I never asked you to change your life around because things got hard for me. Besides, my mother had life insurance. It will pay for her funeral and then leave a little I can put into savings.”

“What about the house?”

“She took out a loan on the house. I have no idea what it was for, but now she has a mortgage of fifty grand. I can’t pay it, so I have to put the house on the market.”

I knew that the house was a big memory of her mother. Giving it up would be difficult. Heather wasn’t just saying goodbye to her mother. She was saying goodbye to everything.

I hugged her in my arms. “We can do whatever you want to do. If you want to keep the house, I can help you make the payments. If you live with me, you will be able to afford the mortgage here. You don’t have to lose everything, babe.”

She looked up at me, with those blue tear-filled eyes. “Are you sure?”

I kissed her on the lips. “Yes. I’m sure.”

Chapter 15

Heather

It was all too good to be true. I knew it and it was just a matter of time before he did too. Then there was the dress. I had no idea that my mother had planned on making me a dress for my ‘someday’ wedding. It was shocking and upsetting at the same time.

Since I had so much on my plate, it was necessary to take one day at a time. As much as I would have liked to think that my happily ever after was really going to happen, I knew it was far-fetched.